Madonna Is An Old Thief!

Oh yes, I went there! Madonna is a thief and I have irrefutable proof! And I'm not talking about the uncanny similarity between Oldfrapp's shiteous "The Beat Goes On" and every second song on Nelly Furtado's "Loose" album. Rather, I'm referring to a truly craptastic Australian act called Bliss, who lovingly crafted a mind-boggling dance cover of "American Pie" in 1997 - three years before Madonna unleashed her own tragic rendition upon the world. I have no doubt that Madge has nothing better to do in her free time than listen to flops by unknown Australian dance acts and decided to steal the idea for herself.

While Madonna's version continues to feature on worst cover version countdowns, the Bliss version is a lost classic. As far as I'm concerned, if you're going to destroy a classic - you might as well totally fucking tear it apart and piss all over it. And believe me, Bliss leave no stone unturned in their destruction of Don McLean's anthem. The cheesy keyboards and atrocious rapping will warm the heart of any self-respecting pop trash addict!

So what became of Bliss? I suspect that Madge had them killed to hide her deceit. Or perhaps they just went back to working at McDonald's. It's impossible to tell because there is literally no information about Bliss anywhere on the internet. I can't even confirm if the song was ever officially released. I do know, however, that Bliss had some wicked style (check out their sublime outfits!) and knew how to cover a classic. If anyone knows more about this fabulously untalented duo, please let me know!

A big thank you to Steen for sending me this lost gem. Girlfriend, we are totally on the same wavelength!