The Queen Of Hi-NRG & My Heart

Words can not describe the depth of my love for stunning Hi-NRG diva Kelly Wilde. How can one woman have so much style, beauty and blazing vocal talent? I'm truly ashamed to admit that I only discovered the delicious Ms Wilde recently. Since my beloved Kelly Llorenna fell off the face of the earth (probably due to acute fake tan poisoning), I have been searching for another holy icon to quench my thirst for trashy dance music. My quest was long and hard but eventually I stumbled across Kelly Wilde and it was love at first listen. Younger than Hazell Dean, more charismatic than Nicki French and sexier than Jo Frances - Kelly ticked all my boxes. If I were 30 years older and not into cock, this delicate flower would be the woman of my dreams!

My first introduction to the manifold delights of Kelly Wilde was her magnificent cover of Laura Branigan's "Gloria". I simply could not believe that such a major talent had managed to escape my attention. Kelly's take on "Gloria" is mesmerising and the video clip (below) has to be seen to be believed. I can't believe all the hateful comments that people are leaving on youtube. Do these fools have no ears? Bolstered by my discovery, I decided to delve deeper into the intoxicating world of Kelly Wilde and unearthed her failed attempt to qualify for Eurovision with the exquisite ballad "You Better Be Good To Me". The competition was obviously rigged because girlfriend blew the other bitches out of the water with her breathtaking vocals and sky high hair. The voters must have discovered that my future wife actually hails from Sydney instead of the arsehole of Europe (ie. the UK) - yes readers, Kelly Wilde is one of our own!

Never one to rest on her laurels, Kelly has recorded another two stunning dance cover versions for Energise records. This time around the Queen of Hi-NRG has deigned to interpret Blondie's "Maria" and Bonnie Tyler's "Holding Out For A Hero". You can listen to these awe inspiring anthems and order your very own copy here. I love them both but "Maria" is utter perfection. The B-side, "New Emotion", is also positively orgasmic. I highly recommend you add these classics to your collection! In the meantime, check out this amazing clip of my boo performing "Maria" at the 2008 Gran Canaria pride event. Be warned - this will leave you hypnotised like a death adder. Kelly's stunning microphone acrobatics are only surpassed by the hilarious gay dancers. Fingers crossed that Kelly is touring the UK when I visit in July. It would be an honour just to share the same air as this heavenly creature.