The Dannii Factor!

Let me just get this out of the way. Dannii completely wiped the floor with that cunt from Girls Aloud on X Factor! I've been mortified by the Queen of Clubs' lack of air time during the auditions but stunning Holidannii OWNED the show tonight. No wonder 62% of viewers name her as their favourite judge! From the moment she appeared on stage wearing a blue chiffon monstrosity that would shame most drag queens, it was clear that Dannii wanted all eyes on her. And who could possibly resist? When she wasn't taking the piss out of Louis, she was brawling with Simon or making subtle jabs about Cheryl's song selection. That's not to mention her stunning dance moves during Rachel's dubious cover of "With Every Heartbeat" and her constant flirting with every male contestant, including 16 year old Eoghan! In the space of one show, Dannii reclaimed her throne as the queen of X Factor - well and truly kicking dull as dishwater Cheryl to the curb. By the end of the show I almost felt sorry for her. I can only imagine how intimidating Dannii's ravishing beauty and hypnotic charisma would be in person.

Despite owning the judging panel, I don't like Holidannii's chances of winning the competition this year. Daniel is nice but has a rubbish voice, Rachel has a brilliant set of pipes but she's clearly a nutter (and still on crack), while voluptuous Ruth is perhaps a little bit too fabulous for the show. Her sensual Spanglish ballads, pendulous baps, dramatic hand gestures and excessive use of the wind machine make her my favourite contestant - by far - but I doubt the UK is ready for a sexy Spanish diva to win X Factor. I'm not a huge fan of any of the groups and the boys are all vile. My money is on one of the girls taking home the prize. I hate to think how many producers desperate Cheryl had to blow in order to become their mentor! Anyway, her pathetic attempt to steal Dannii's glory will end in tears. Only one judge has the X Factor and her name rhymes with fanny. I hope poor Cheryl remembers to wear a jacket next week. It's going to get pretty cold there in Dannii's shadow!