Vanilla Vs Vogue

Firstly, I'd just like to say that this is my 400th post. Yay me! I can't think of a better way to celebrate this milestone than featuring what has to be Britain's worst ever girlband. And by worst, I obviously mean best. I'm talking about the glorious girls from Vanilla, who dragged popular music to a stunning new low with their legendary 1997 top 20 hit "No Way, No Way". Built around a sample of "Mah Nà Mah Nà" from The Muppet Show, Vanilla's anthem was a staggeringly awful attempt to grab a slice of the Spice Girls' pie at the height of girlband mania in the late 90s. I'm actually surprised "No Way, No Way" performed as well as it did given the quality (or lack thereof) of the song. The first time I heard it I was convinced it was a piss take. The "vocals" on this record have to be heard to be believed and the lyrics are even worse ("If you force yourself on me, things are going to get nar-sty!") That's not to mention the video clip (below), which highlights the girls' complete lack of coordination and breathtaking absence of style.

The crazy thing is "No Way, No Way" is actually a fantastic pop song in spite of itself. The sample is a stroke of genius and the god awful chorus gets under your skin like a flesh eating disease. In a nutshell, "No Way, No Way" is a cult classic that deserves some love for proving once and for all that any old whore can become a popstar. I have no idea what these legends are up to now but I like to think at least one of them is working the register at Woolworths. Speaking of British girlbands, it's interesting that the wheel has turned almost full circle after a couple of lean years and we're back to the boom days of the late 90s. The Saturdays have taken over from Girls Aloud as the current darlings of the pop scene, while bands like Red Blooded Women, Stonefoxx and City Girls wait patiently in the wings. Well, you can add another name to the growing list of up and coming UK girlbands - Vogue.

Vogue is comprised of three "stunners" from Yorkshire who describe themselves as "the new princesses of Clubland". They are currently supporting Cascada on tour so I guess it must be true. Scarily, these divine beings remind me of Vanilla. It's not their sound - the girls can actually sing and their dance beats are a world away from whatever craptastic genre "No Way, No Way" belongs to - but the similarity lies with Vogue's cheap and cheerful image (see above). They are geared to the lowest common denominator, which probably explains why I like them so much. Their upcoming single "Twilight" is an uptempo slice of dance-pop that should get Cascada fans all hot and bothered. It's scheduled for release on the 20th of April and I'd love to see it scrape into the charts. The video (below) is quite a glamorous affair and basically involves the ladies frolicking at the beach. I'd take them over Girls Aloud any day!