Chloe Lattanzi - Pop Trash Queen 2008

I don't even have to wait until the end of the year to christen Chloe Lattanzi the new queen of pop trash. I've always liked Olivia's insane daughter but since the beginning of MTV's "Rock The Cradle", my admiration has reached an entirely new level. This amazing diva has really captured my heart with her charismatic performances and her general inability to keep a lid on the crazy. A couple of weeks ago I wrote about Chloe's first two performances, well since then she's gone on the destroy her mother's classic "I Honestly Love You" in the most fabulous way imaginable and also managed to turn Korn's "Freak On A Leash" into a demented goth ballad while rolling around on the floor like a disabled hooker! Poor Chloe has been panned by the judges every week and ridiculed across the internet (despite his loud protestations, I'm convinced D Listed's Michael K is a HUGE fan!) but she keeps on scraping through the rounds. Chloe has now reached the final 5 contestants and her fate depends on the viewers' reaction to her mind blowing cover of Britney's "Toxic".

Car crash television seriously doesn't get any better than this. The clip begins with a visit to the teepee that Chloe's father lives in. No wonder Chloe is ten kinds of crazy - her father lives in a tent playing the didgeridoo! The excruciating look on Olivia's face says it all, you just know she's wishing the ground would swallow her up. (I highly recommend you watch the full hilarious clip of Chloe's teepee visit here - It explains a lot!) Chloe is then told she has to sing "Toxic" by Britney's ex-manager and bursts into tears and keeps on crying all through rehearsals. My favourite bit is when she breaks down and sobs "dude, I'm not Britney Spears"! They might share the same level of mental stability but Chloe goes on to prove her point by blowing Britney out of the water with a truly magnificent rendition of "Toxic". I love eveything about this - Chloe's demented posing on the staircase, her bizarre interaction with the hot guy tied to the chair, the gravelly quality of her voice and most of all, her bad dancing!

I really hope this stunning talent makes it through another elimination. I think people are connecting with Chloe in a big way. Her rawness is just so appealing. From the teepee footage it's painfully clear that Chloe is simply not equipped for the real world, let alone the entertainment business. Paradoxically, that's exactly what makes her so endearing. What you see is what you get and I think I'm in love!

Chloe Lattanzi Rocks The Cradle

I'm a huge fan of Olivia Newton-John's slightly demented daughter. I can't get enough of Chloe Lattanzi's crazy antics in the tabloids and I ache for the bizarre video blogs that occasionally pop up on her Myspace. Most of all, I love her music. Chloe's catchy anorexia anthem "Delicious" came in at number 11 on my best of 2007 countdown and it probably should have placed even higher, given that it's still burning up my Ipod all these months later. Chloe has been threatening to release her debut album for almost 5 years but the wait could finally be over thanks to an American talent show.


MTV's Rock The Cradle is kind of like American Idol for celebrity offspring. Basically, Chloe is battling the likes of MC Hammer's daughter and Bobby Brown's son for a recording contract. I wish the show was broadcast in Australia - this trash has my name written all over it! Unfortunately, Chloe's first performance was panned by all the judges except the lovely Belinda Carlisle and she placed second last in the phone poll. I was interested to see the clip for myself and I'm completely mystified by the negative reaction. Chloe's interpretation of the INXS classic "Never Tear Us Apart" is spectacular. I love her scary man voice, crazy eyes and theatrical phrasing. Sure, she's a little rough around the edges but there's no denying that Chloe has something very unique about her. Check out her stunning performance for yourself:

Never Tear Us Apart

After narrowly avoiding elimination, Chloe switched into rock chick mode for the "parent's choice" show in round two. I think Olivia must be really sick of sitting in the audience because she selected a complete stinker in an obvious attempt to get Chloe booted. The judges were relatively impressed but I agree with Belinda's comment that it was a poor song choice. The performance itself, however, is fucking fabulous and typically demented. I thought Chloe was going to burst an implant when she started writhing on the floor like Linda Blair in The Exorcist! I really hope she makes it through to the next round - I'm dying to see what this crazy broad comes up with next. Watch Chloe throw it down:

I Hate Everything About You

I'm not sure of the show's format but I hope the contestants are eventually allowed to perform original material. Chloe is yet to post a song on a her myspace that hasn't completely blown me away. I love her dark electro sound and the depressing yet strangely catchy lyrics. I didn't think Chloe would ever surpass the brilliance of "Delicious" but her latest offering does just that. "Make It Stop" is one of the best songs I've heard all year. The crashing synths and driving beats provide an epic backdrop for Chloe's pleading voice and bittersweet lyrics. Think of this exquisite anthem as the bleak and bitter sister of Robyn's "Be Mine". Chloe had better win Rock The Cradle so I can finally get my hands on her fucking album!

A low quality unmixed demo of "Make It Stop" was made available on Chloe's Myspace and I don't think anyone from her camp would mind me posting it. The sound is a bit rough but it gives you a good idea of the track's unlimited potential.