All I See - The Video

Forget Citizen Kane, Kylie's zero budget "All I See" film clip sets a new benchmark for cinematic excellence! Before I get too carried away, I should put the video in context. It's cheap. Let's get that out of the way first. I'm convinced Dannii threw this fabulous crap together on her laptop after finishing off her last Great Wall diary entry! It's also not an official clip but a "promo video". Splitting hairs, I know, but there is a small difference (basically, the video was concocted to promote "All I See" online). Lastly, it wasn't paid for by Kylie's record company - the copyright belongs to Darenote, the holding company managed by Kylie's dad. In other words, this is Kylie's lowest budget offering since the amazing "Your Disco Needs You" and in my opinion, is all the better for it. "All I See" is a trash lover's wet dream!

I really don't know where to start because I adore every second of this tat. I guess the costumes are as good a place as any. I love the fact that Kylie couldn't be fucked buying something new but simply dusts off her Dancing With The Stars outfits. That Village People inspired leather queen look is just too fabulous. Freddie Mercury is looking down from heaven and he has a boner! The sparkling mini-dress is gorgeous and I laughed out loud when the camera pans down to Kylie's hooker stilettos as she sings "had to make sure I'm lookin' hot". Then there's the very welcome presence of Kylie's insanely hot dancer Marco Da Silva, who mercifully spends the entire clip shirtless. Marco must have a pretty good sense of humour because I haven't seen dance moves like that since the glory days of C&C Music Factory!

The black and white photography is lovely and I approve of the multiple Kylies (obviously a homage to the previously mentioned "Your Disco Needs You" video clip) but the undisputed highlight for me is the star sequence. I've watched it about 30 times and I still can't stop laughing. Poor Kylie looks like she's hiding behind a curtain in an evil drag queen's lair! This is my favourite moment in a Kylie video since her slow motion slide down a fireman's pole in "Please Stay". "All I See" is still scheduled as an American only single but I'd love for it to be released worldwide, if only to spite Kylie's increasingly humourless fanbase. Enjoy!