Japanese pop icon Ami Suzuki rocked the Gold Coast to its very foundations on Sunday night without even picking up a microphone. At first I was slightly disappointed that I'd flown from Sydney to listen her holiness play a bunch of CDs but just being in her presence was enough to turn the evening into a semi-religious experience. That and the fact that she accidentally spilled some water on my head. Yes, bitches - I've been baptised by Amigod! Apart from that life changing moment, the highlight of the evening was undoubtedly hearing Ami play a fabulous mash of "Free Free" and "Can't Get You Out Of My Head". I wish she played more of her own music but at least she picked the two best songs from her vast catalogue of hits. Other tracks spun by the pop legend include "Just Dance", "Sexy Bitch" and "Boom Boom Pow". Ami is so cutting edge! There isn't actually that much I can write about a DJ set, so I thought I'd let the pictures do the talking.
While lesser stars play at common venues like Acer Arena and the Entertainment Centre, Ami prefers to keep it real by rocking Bedroom Nightclub. Conveniently located near Condom Kingdom and a kebab store.
Ami-mania even spread to the urinal. Pissing in public has never been more glamorous!
The divine diva looked absolutely stunning in her floral dress. Love the sequined headphones.
Ami was the picture of concentration...
But eventually let loose and drove the crowd into a frenzy with her amazing tunes.
She changed her own CDs and everything!
"How did it come to this?"
In all seriousness, I think more pop stars should do DJ sets. Just think how much more enjoyable an Annie or Little Boots concert would be if you didn't have to hear them sing. Ami is such a trendsetter! As much as I'd love to see Lady Suzuki perform live, it was enough just to be in the same room as her. She's doing another show in Brisbane on Thursday, so head along to catch a glimpse of Japan's true Queen of pop. You might even run into these lovely girls!
I grew up listening to Whitney Houston. Her debut was the soundtrack to every dinner party my mother held in the mid-80s (along with Sade’s “Diamond Life”) and 1987’s “Whitney” was the first album I bought. My interest waned during the Bobby Brown years but “I Look To You” reignited the flame and I couldn’t wait to see the legendary diva drag her crack ravaged carcass around the stage despite the abysmal reviews. Critics have ridiculed Whitney’s voice, questioned her professionalism and mocked her wardrobe. And it’s hard to disagree. Her rendition of “The Greatest Love Of All” was a travesty, she often appeared as high as a kite disorientated and returned to the stage after intermission looking like she had just crawled out of Ke$ha’s luxury dumpster. The thing is – I still loved every minute of it. Whitney’s voice has taken more of a beating than Madonna’s vagina but her vocal shortcomings somehow made the show more intimate and raw, evoking an unexpectedly emotional response from the audience who took over singing duties when she couldn’t. It would have been easy to come on stage and mime like Britney but Nippy kept it real, flaws and all.
The show started promisingly. Whitney looked amazing in a slinky gold dress and launched straight into two of my favourite songs from her latest album – “For The Lovers” and “Nothin’ But Love”. Her voice was shaky but nowhere near as bad as the reviews would have you believe. It was great to see her looking so radiant and I was happy to see her (clumsily) perform some choreography. Someone needs to sign her up to the Kylie school of hand-dancing! There was a palpable sense of relief from fans when she finally made her way though “I Look To You” after a dodgy start and things genuinely looked up when she performed a brilliant reggae tinged version of “My Love Is Your Love” (one of my all time favourite songs) and endearingly hummed a few lines from “Like I Never Left”. Introducing her daughter to the crowd was a nice touch and I loved her diva tantrum before “It’s Not Right But It’s Okay”. The sound apparently wasn’t up to scratch and she had three false starts before belting out the song in rather fabulous style. A spot on rendition of “If I Told You That” closed the first act, which more than exceeded my expectations.
Unfortunately, the Whitney express was destined for a head on collision. The intermission was her first big mistake. It was great to hear her brother sing and I loved her band’s version of “Queen Of The Night” but the “One Moment In Time” video montage was a potent reminder of the sad decline in Whitney’s voice. She didn’t help her cause by returning to the stage wearing a transparent black top and what at first glance looked like a fluffy car seat cover. Her hair was also sweat soaked and limp, making the entire ensemble less than flattering. The acoustic section that followed was very hit and miss. “Saving All My Love For You” was rough but poignant, while “The Greatest Love Of All” was heartbreakingly bad. Whitney redeemed herself somewhat with a respectable take on “All At Once” before really coming through on “I Learned From The Best”, which was probably her best vocal performance of the night.
More enjoyable still was her increasingly erratic behaviour – she inexplicably stopped singing in the middle of songs, congratulated a lesbian couple holding a 25 Year anniversary banner on being “friends” as long as she has been making music, turned her back on the audience to speak to the band for extended periods, said that she was pleased to see so many people “as old as her mother” in the crowd and talked about missing Michael Jackson before ranting about fans talking to her while she’s trying to eat. It was a complete car crash but I couldn’t take my eyes off her.
Less fun was her extended sermon about Jesus and her woefully inept rendition of “I Love The Lord”. It was around this time that people started to walk out but it was their loss because (the remainder of) the crowd was completely swept up in the warm nostalgia of “I Wanna Dance With Somebody” and “How Will I Know”. Her voice was pretty croaky by then but Whitney’s energy and obvious delight in getting her fans on their feet was compensation her vocal problems. I was genuinely worried when she launched into “I Will Always Love You” but it turned out to be surprisingly competent - if you overlook the two minutes of silence mid-song when she strolled to the back of the stage to grab a drink. Whitney’s upper and lower register are intact, it’s just everything else she has a problem with. I loved hearing her belt out her biggest hit and was moved when she hit the big note at the end. She probably should have left things there but she returned for a fun but sloppy version of “Million Dollar Bill”, followed by “I’m Every Woman”. That is until she turned around and left the stage halfway through the song without saying a word, leaving her band and dancers red faced. It was a fittingly twisted end to an emotional rollercoaster that I’d happily take again. Whitney is a lot of things. Boring isn’t one of them.
Was robbed of Album Of The Year at today's Grammy Awards by ratfaced Taylor Swift but she still managed to score a record haul for a female artist. All 6 were well deserved but I'm particularly happy about "Halo" getting some love. I have a feeling that song is going to stand the test of time even better than "Single Ladies". Anyway, it's a fitting end to the already iconic "Sasha Fierce" era... although does anyone else think Sony might return to the well one last time and release a "Grammys Edition" of the album - complete with a bonus disc featuring Solange breaking wind to the beat of Kelly Rowland scrubbing floors at the House Of Dereon?
Song Of The Year - Single Ladies
Best Female Pop Vocal Performance - Halo
Best Female R&B Vocal Performance - Single Ladies
Best Traditional R&B Vocal Performance - At Last
Best R&B Song - Single Ladies
Best Contemporary R&B Album - I Am... Sasha Fierce
A belated congratulations to Dannii for breaking the Minogue curse and getting knocked up before her uterus rusts over. I wish her and Kris every happiness!
I used to think there were two kinds of live albums. A select few give you a whole new insight into the artist, while the vast majority are best thought of as souvenirs for hardcore fans. In the past Kylie has delivered one of each. As far as I'm concerned 1998's "Intimate & Live" is an essential milestone in the pop icon's career. It's a vibrant snapshot of the diva at her most brave and creative. When friends question Min's artistic credentials I play them "Take Me With You" or "Free" and watch their jaws drop. The same can't really be said for "Showgirl Homecoming Live" - regardless of how much I love it. Sure, there are some gems (the original and BEST version of "White Diamond" and the truly epic mash of "Light Years" and "Turn It Into Love") but most of the time I just watch the DVD. After all, the concert was created as a visual extravaganza and it definitely loses something in translation. So to which category does the recently released "Live In New York" belong? Well, neither. It doesn't really offer anything new but it's bursting with such a sense of joy and occasion that it's impossible to resist. Think of this as a celebration for the singer and her fans alike - and as a perfect end to the (in my opinion) highly underrated and intriguing "X" era.
"For You, For Me" is only the second Kylie tour I've missed in the past 20 years (the other being 1991's UK only "Let's Get To It" extravaganza), so I can't comment on the dancers, costumes or special effects but the setlist is a pleasing hybrid of "Showgirl Homecoming" and "X2008". The highlights of "X" are carefully sprinkled between the legend's greatest hits - with a medley and a couple of mash-ups thrown in for good measure. You've basically heard it all before if you attended either of Kylie's previous tours but it must have been a heady mix for the Minogue starved American gays! The quality is uniformly excellent, so it's hard to pick favourites but I particularly love the new arrangement of "Confide In Me", while joyous renditions of "The One" (the lo-fi guitar intro is a great touch), "In My Arms" and "Wow" are a testament to enduring appeal of "X". However, if I had to choose the highlight of "Live In New York" it would be the "Everything Taboo" medley. This is a wet dream for old school fans. Time has not wearied the brilliance of "Shocked" and "What Do I Have To Do?" one iota, while "Spinning Around" always sounds remarkably better live (it's one of the very few Kylie songs that I absolutely hate).
Criticisms? Well, it's a scandal they didn't drag Jazzi P out of retirement to rap on the aforementioned rendition of "Shocked" but apart from that there's not a lot wrong with the album. I am slightly annoyed that Kylie's stunning US smash hit "All I See" missed the cut and I feel the urge to point out that the "Red Blooded Woman/Where The Wild Roses Grow" mash didn't work that well to begin with (and still sounds shit). If I was going to be an extremely picky bitch I'd complain about the increasingly tired jazz interpretations of "I Should Be So Lucky" and "The Locomotion" and express my annoyance at the omission of the amazing new track "Better Than Today". I assume that means it will be appearing on the diva's next studio album but I'll be writing a strongly worded letter to KDB Pty Ltd if it's discarded like "Flower", "Ruffle My Feathers" and the original "White Diamond"! However, all this nitpicking seems incredibly petty, particularly when you consider the album's greatest achievement - documenting the sense of celebration that permeates every second of the concert. Kylie is clearly having the time of her life and it's almost impossible not to go along for the ride. "Live In New York" is available to download from iTunes now.
An edit of Kylie's fabulous retro "Everything Taboo" Medley
If strong winds ruined your hairstyle and blew the washing off the line on Monday morning, never fear. It's not the onset of a hurricane - just music lovers around the world breathing a collective sigh of relief that Dannii's "The 95 Sessions" has finally been released. As most of you are probably aware, the Queen of Club's latest X Factor cash-in compiles material originally recorded for her third album way back in 1994-1995. Unfortunately, the album was scrapped (I blame Kylie's then waning popularity - that thoughtless bitch!) and the songs have spent the past fifteen years gathering dust. Probably in a box under Dannii's bed, next to her vibrators and lesbian porn... but I digress. I've always been hugely intrigued by the so called 'lost years' of Dannii's career and was genuinely excited about this release. So the big question is: Was it worth the wait? The answer is a resounding yes.
I hate to speak ill of Australia's greatest living talent, so I'll get a couple of criticisms out of the way first. Namely, a handful of tracks sound like rejects from "Get Into You". The faux R'n'B ballads will only appeal to Dannii's hardcore fans and the entire album sounds brutally dated. The thing is - I love "Get Into You" and of course the production is rougher than Britney's voice without autotune. After all, this shit is nearly 15 years old! Now for the good news. The majority of the album is a treasure trove of trashy 90s dance anthems. Songs like "Free Your Love", "Crazy (For Your Love)" and the original version of "Everlasting Night" are classics that deserved to be loved and cherished by fans. More importantly, "The 95 Sessions" documents Dannii's transformation from white Janet into the holy patron of gay nightclubs. It was during this period that our beloved icon began to explore club beats in earnest and first worked with long time collaborators Ian Masterson and Terry Ronald. The results are a bit patchy but the potential for pop greatness is palpable. Here is my track by track review:
Free Your Love
Of all the unreleased trash clogging up Nathan's iPod, this is the song I've been most desperate to hear. The prospect of Dannii collaborating with the Rapino Brothers had me salivating and the track took on an almost mystical status among fans after Dannii performed it along with the original "Everlasting Night" at several Pride events in the mid-90s. I'm pleased to say "Free Your Love" more than lives up to the hype. This exquisite dance anthem blends 90s house beats with Eurodance elements to stunning effect. I love Dannii's vocals and the soaring chorus is sublime. It has to be said that "Free Your Love" is better than anything the Rapino Brothers ever produced for Kylie ("Difficult By Design", "Gotta Move On" and the trashtastic "Aston Martin").
Skin Deep
I'm highly amused that the man behind@m8er's "Kill That Bitch"cut his teeth producing cheesy club anthems for Dannii. Ollie J certainly knows how to sniff out unique talent! The first of his two contributions to "The 95 Sessions" is a full blooded blast of 90s club goodness. The cheesy keyboards push all my buttons and the lyrics are typically inane dancefloor fodder. This reminds me of the early output of American divas like Kristine W and Ultra Nate. Not the best thing on the album but definitely worth checking out.
Love & Affection
Now this is cute. "Love & Affection" is a cheerful little pop tune with a catchy chorus and some of the album's crispest beats. It reminds me of an M People remix, which has to be a good thing.
Let Love Into Your Life
I feel like I'm repeating myself but "Let Love Into Your Life" is another unexpectedly accomplished dose of 90s dance music. This time around the sound is distinctly American - think Dannii meets C&C Music Factory - but it works brilliantly. The Queen of Club's unleashes one her strongest vocal performances and the backing vocalists add another layer to the song. The production is a little clumsy but this is a minor triumph.
Everlasting Night (Original Version)
"The 95 Sessions" is worth buying for the original "Everlasting Night" alone. The remake (a #42 smash hit in 1999) is a gay classic in Australia. I still remember the media furore over Dannii's lesbian kissin the videoand the song automatically evokes happy memories of Mardi Gras parties and clubbing adventures. However, as much as I love the 99 version, it pales in comparison to the original. I've had a demo of this (below) for years but hearing the song in high quality underlines its vast superority. I know the Droids will be out for blood when I say this but "Everlasting Night '95" strikes me as being very much a Kylie record. There's a vulnerability to Dannii's vocal delivery that I normally only associate with her sister. The song's melancholy/whimsical undertone - despite the perky lyrics and upbeat nature of the track - is also a Kylie trademark. I can't express how much I love this. It could have been Dannii's "Better The Devil You Know", making it almost as much of a missed opportunity as "Come & Get It".
The demo version of "Everlasting Night '95"
Crazy (For Your Love)
"Crazy (For Your Love)" is another contribution from One World (the producers behind "Everlasting Night") and it's only slightly less fabulous. I love the splashes of disco amongst all the Hi-NRG goodness and even pick up a faint hint of Stock Aitken Waterman. My only complaint is that it sounds unfinished. The verses are a little underdone and the production isn't as tight as it could be. This is a treat nonetheless.
Take My Time Loving You
You can basically copy everything I wrote about "Crazy (For Your Love)" and paste it here. Only "Take My Time Loving You" is slightly more commercial and has an ever so subtle Motown flavour. Good, solid pop.
Love In Me
I was wondering if the Queen of Club's would flaunt her sexy side on this collection and, as it turns out, she does. There's something innately fabulous about Dannii singing sultry lyrics like "Baby, take control" and "I wanna get your love in me tonight". Not exactly subtle! As much as I like sleazy Dannii, I think this is slightly disappointing - particularly given the involvement of the Rapino Brothers. The production is woefully dated and the chorus fails to fire. One of the few tracks I've been skipping.
Exclusively
Ollie J's second contribution to "The 95 Sessions" is a perky urban club jam. I think @m8er should cover "Exclusively" for her album - it's cute and holds up remarkably well. It's a bit of a throwback to "Get Into You" but if you like urban Dannii, this is very much worth checking out.
Love Will Find A Way
Another "Get Into You" type mid-tempo pop song with a smooth R'n'B sheen. I personally love this sound but I know a lot of fans hate it and the song doesn't fit particularly well with the dance anthems. The highlight is definitely the beautiful vocal. Terry Ronald really knows how to bring the best out of Dannii's heavenly pipes.
Don't Wanna Leave You Now
The poor man's "I Don't Wanna Take This Pain". The production is lush and Dannii's voice shines but "Don't Wanna Leave You Now" sounds like it should be blasting from an elevator. Dull and boring.
Coconut (Original Version)
This mess is an insult to the 98 version. Avoid at all costs!
Free Your Love (Extended Mix)
Blissful, even better than the album version. Dig out a lime green t-shirt, polish your glowsticks and dance to this jam like it's 1995.
"The Dance Sessions" was released in the UK on the 7th of December. You can order the CD from Amazon, HMV and Play.
This is quite simply THE most amazing thing I've ever seen in my entire life. It captures the essence of Dannii, her stunning artistry and undeniable genius perfectly. Watch this and weep tears of pure joy.
You know it's November when Dannii releases her annual batch of X Factor cash-in albums. This time around the Queen of Clubs is unveiling deluxe editions of her stunning debut "Love & Kisses" as well as her 1993 #52 UK smash hit "Get Into You". However, the real gem is "The 95 Sessions" - possibly Dannii's most exciting fan release ever! I don't usually have a lot of nice things to say about Nafensays but I think he's done a great job on this. I just hope it doesn't sell out on iTunes like "The Early Years" because Dannii's lost 1995 album is the holy grail of pop music as far as I'm concerned!
After the phenomenal worldwide success of "Get Into You", the prettier Minogue swiftly started work on her third album for MCA Records. Dannii mentioned in interviews that she was experimenting with club beats after revolutionising urban music on her previous two masterpieces and rumours began circulating that she was working with hot 90s dance producers Love To Infinity, Soul II Soul and Motiv 8. Promotion for the album was underway by mid-1995 and the Empress of X Factor even performed the original version of "Everlasting Night" and another new song called "Free Your Love" at various gay pride events. Both of those songs appear on "The 95 Sessions" - along with "Don't Want To Leave You Now", which Dannii performed on her sold out (according to Droid statisticians) 1998 tour. I LOVE the original and vastly superior version of "Everlasting Night", so if the rest of the album even comes close to matching those heights I will be in 7th heaven! The official tracklist is below:
Free Your Love Skin Deep Love And Affection I Got This Feeling Let Love Into Your Life Everlasting Night Crazy For Your Love Love In Me Exclusively Love Will Find A Way Don't Wanna Leave You Now Free Your Love (Remix)
This the first Dannii fan release that doesn't feel like a cheap X Factor cash-in and Nathan deserves a lot of credit for putting it together. I think I'm going to get a spray tan (setting - Kelly Llorenna orange) and wear a plunging V neck t-shit in his honour! "The 95 Sessions" is available to pre-order now from Play. I already know what I want for Christmas.
Every now and again the universe turns around and kicks you in the teeth for no apparent reason. Take this weekend. I received some pretty devastating news, passed out in the backstreets of Darlinghurst and took out my frustration on someone who really didn't deserve it. Seriously, there's enough egg on my face at the moment to whip up a family sized omelet. At times like this, I recommend grabbing the nearest bottle of liquor and listening to your favourite soothing song. I'm not particularly selective when it comes to alcohol but there's only one tune that calms me down when everything turns to shit. "No One Is Alone" has seen me through the death of a loved one, more break-ups than I care to remember and the general bullshit that goes along with being a 21st century poofter.
"No One Is Alone" originates from Stephen Sondheim's brilliant musical Into The Woods but don't make the mistake of lumping it (or anything else composed by Sondheim for that matter) with other showtunes. The song is dark and disconcertingly honest - yet ultimately beautiful and reassuring. I don't think anyone writes with more perception into the human condition than Stephen Sondheim and, in my opinion, this ranks as his greatest work alongside "Johanna", "Being Alive" and "Not A Day Goes By". Over the years "No One Is Alone" has become closely associated with the divine Bernadette Peters, who contrary to popular belief didn't perform the song in the original 1987 Broadway production. However, I simply can't stand the thought of anyone else singing it. Bernadette doesn't just deliver the lyrics, she acts out every line with her beautiful voice. One of these days I'll dedicate a proper post to Bernadette because I firmly believe she is one of the greatest singers to ever pick up a microphone. Just watch this amazing live performance (below) for proof. I know this kind of music isn't popular with most people under the age of 65 but I can't imagine life without it.
I've been feeling so miserable today, dealing with various dramas but someone up above has obviously taken pity on me and decided to bring a little sunshine back into my life in the form of new music from Kylie and the first preview of Goddess Toy's stunning comeback "Home". I can't believe I'm being treated to new stuff from my two favourite divas in the one day. It feels like Christmas!
Moving on now to the Dutchess of Dance. Toy Toy has just unveiled a preview of her "Home" video clip and it looks suitably classy. I'm slightly disappointed that she's not at least holding a framed photo of Michael but the layers of vaseline on the camera lens more than make up for it. La Toya looks absolutely phenomenal. I can't believe she's older than Madonna - Toy could honestly pass for one of her adopted Malawi babies! My favourite part of the preview is when our queen walks along holding the candle. She looks like a supermodel and her diva strut puts Miss J to shame. I just wish she didn't look so damn happy. This is supposed to be a dedication to her dead brother not "Sexual Feeling - The Sequel"! Toy works in mysterious ways, so I guess all will be revealed when the clip debuts on the 1st of September. I can hardly wait.
It's been a while since my last La Toya update so I thought it was about time I devoted another post to world's greatest living vocalist. Since emerging from her self-imposed exile to personally hunt down Michael's killer, Toy has swiftly kicked Janet to the curb as the world's favourite remaining Jackson. The public simply can't get enough of our goddess. She's all over the gossip blogs and has been inundated with offers to appear on every US television show from Dancing With The Stars (Toy Toy just said no) to The View. The Pope of Pop accepted the latter invitation and will join the panel on the 16th and 18th of September. I just hope Whoopi can keep her hands to herself because La Toya's sexual energy is notoriously hard to resist and our girl doesn't open her front door for any old has-been!
As excited as I am about Toy Toy's publicity whoring rampage, I'm more interested in her musical comeback. Everything is going full steam ahead on that front with news that "Home" is currently storming up the iTunes (R'n'B) chart (in Germany)! If that isn't reason enough to celebrate, the sure to be iconic video debuts on the 1st of September. That's less than two weeks until La Toya officially makes Madonna, Britney and Lady GaGa redundant! I know you're thinking that Dutchess of Dance couldn't possibly have anything else up her sleeve but Australia's 4th greatest musical export, Peter Andre, recently announced that he's working on a Michael Jackson tribute with Toy! Talk about a clash of the titans! This has #47 smash written all over it! Peter mentioned the decade's most highly anticipate duet in a recent interview with TMZ (below). Fast forward to 1:40 mins to hear all the exciting details. You just know Michael shed tears of joy in heaven when he heard about this duo joining forces in his honour!
I still remember the first time I heard "Body Language". My blood ran cold and I'm pretty sure a part of me died inside. In all my years as a Kylie fan, I don't think I've ever been so disappointed - and that includes the time I fell into a boredom induced coma listening to her first Deconstruction album. In retrospect, my expectations were ridiculously high. At the time I honestly thought Kylie could do no wrong. After a decade of hard knocks, she had somehow kicked and scratched her way to the top of the pop pile with "Fever" - even Jesus was jealous of her career resurrection! Kylie had seemingly found the winning formula and I naively hoped "Body Language" would deliver more of the same. It didn't. I was ready for just about anything apart from the eclectic mix of mid-tempo electronic jams, 80s funk and bizarre American-centric pop tunes. "Body Language" was the anti-"Fever" in just about every respect and it took me a long time to get into. Strangely, it now holds a special place in my heart. It's not the masterpiece that some deluded fans proclaim it to be but Kylie's 9th studio album is a daring and complex pop opus that houses some highly underrated gems.
A large part of my initial negative reaction to "Body Language" stemmed from the fact that it seemed to be a nasty case of false advertising. The lead single put off a lot of fans but I've always thought that "Slow" was the natural progression from "Fever". That track is so sleek, sophisticated and cool - while still being quintessentially Kylie. I love the minimalism. It's unbelievably low key, yet deceptively insistent and catchy. Team that up with the gay porn video clip and you have one of Kylie's finest singles and an exciting new musical direction. However, someone at Kylie HQ had other ideas. The Alexis Strum penned "Still Standing" is more reflective of the album's tone. Many fans consider this something of a diamond in the rough but I feel like there's something missing - like a chorus! The lyrics are great and suit Kylie perfectly but this should have been a hands in the air dance anthem, not a quirky mid-tempo electro number that goes nowhere faster than Dannii's career. "Secret (Take You Home)" is more like it. Often dismissed as a cringeworthy attempt to break America, I prefer to think of this catchy trash as one of Kylie's most fabulous guilty pleasures. I love the Lisa Lisa & The Cult Jam sample, while the rap is sheer camp genius - buckle up baby feel my speed, take you from zero to sixty!
So much was made of Kurtis Mantronik's involvement in the album that I was expecting something seriously brilliant. Instead, we got the stillborn "Promises" - a track that bores me as much today as it did 6 years ago. I will never understand why the gays on Say Hey were campaigning to get this released as a single, hell even "Nu-Di-Ty" has more commercial appeal! Speaking of hit potential, I think "Sweet Music" had plenty. It's perhaps the most straightforward pop tune on the album. I love the 80s references in the lyrics and the chorus is very catchy. Much like the sublime "Red Blooded Woman". I could write a thesis on the way this song divided fans but I loved it from the first listen. Bitches lamented the blatantly American sound - a criticism that seems ridiculous today when everyone with a recording contract is busily trying to jump on Rihanna's urban pop bandwagon. Then there were claims that Kylie was too old (at an ancient 35, mind you!) to sing lyrics about "freakin' around". Strangely many of the same people had no problem with 49 year old Madonna singing about her "sticky and sweet" candy shop. As far as I'm concerned, the song is a high camp triumph. I don't think anyone was buying the American makeover but I can't imagine my Kylie collection without this rubbish. The Whitey remix, in particular, is a trip to gay heaven. Happily, Kylie had the last laugh with this one. "Red Blooded Woman" is the only Kylie song apart from "Can't Get You Out Of My Head" that still gets played on Australian radio with any frequency (and that includes all the singles from "X") and the song has entered the national consciousness thanks to Kath & Kim. Who will ever forget Kim belting it out at Epponnee's wedding? Check it out below. The song starts at 1:20 mins. AMAZING!
The selection of "Chocolate" as the album's third and ultimately final single was a big mistake. I love the song - although I prefer the hilarious ghetto version with Ludacris that leaked a while ago - but fans were crying out for an upbeat dance track not a ballad, however dreamy and delicate it might be. The remixes were god awful and the promotion was non-existent, making the whole thing feel like some kind of contractual obligation. The only saving grace in my book is the kooky and extremely classy video that still pushes all my buttons. I was pretty harsh about "Promises" but Kurtis Mantronik redeems himself with "Obsession". This is 80s tinged electronica that actually works. The staccato beats are catchy, the lyrics are cute and I love the chorus. With a slightly beefier remix this could have been amazing. I feel exactly the same way about "I Feel For You". This track is so frustratingly close to being spectacular. The 90s piano is a surprising delight and the chorus is sublime but the verses don't quite work and that vocal sample annoys the hell out of me. It's almost like they tried a little too hard to make it cool and cutting edge. That being said, I always look forward to the pretentious thunder and rain in the last 30 seconds.
If I had to select a track from "Body Language" that deserves to be re-visited and re-evaluated by pop fans, it would have to be the big lump of sultry gorgeousness that is "Someday". I sometimes feel like the only card carrying Al Kylieda member that loves this but it's probably my favourite song on the whole album. Emiliana Torrini brings out a side of Kylie that I didn't know existed. The lyrics are so mature, the production is complex and eccentric (in a good way) and the cameo from Scritti Politti frontman Green Garside is a great touch. Whenever I find myself wishing "Body Language" had turned out differently, I just listen to "Someday" and get over it. That little gem is followed by the equally brilliant "Loving Days", which has to be in the running for Kylie's greatest ever ballad. Richard Stannard and Julian Gallagher create such a lush and dreamy canvas for one of Kylie's best vocal performances. Everything about this sublime gem just works. I wish I could say the same for the stinking turd that closes the album. "After Dark" is one of the worst songs of Kylie's entire career. Cathy Dennis should have been forced to sit on her Ivor Novello award as punishment for unloading this dire shit on poor, unsuspecting Kylie. What a disappointing way to end an uneven but extremely enjoyable album. At least the Australian edition finished with the lovely "Slo Motion", which is a favourite of mine despite sounding a little too similar to "Loving Days".
Half the problem with "Body Language" is knowing how different it could have been. Pascal Gabriel's "I'm Sorry" was an unexpected return to the introspectiveness of the Deconstruction era, while "Trippin' Me Up" is the dance anthem that "Body Language" was crying out for. When you throw "I'm Just Here For The Music" (recently raped by Paula Abdul), the trashtastic "My Image Unlimited" and the super catchy "On The Up" into the mix - you have the ingredients for one hell of a pop album. That's not even mentioning "BPM" and "Boombox", which were both originally recorded for "Body Language". However, even if I could wave my magic wand and completely overhaul the album, I don't think I would. Perhaps I'd ditch some of the tracks that needlessly pander to the American market (those decisions were clearly more corporate than artistic) but on the whole I'd leave it alone. Kylie has recorded enough killer dance-pop tunes for ten divas. Another dozen would have been nice but I'd miss the kooky shit on "Body Language". I respect that Kylie tried something different. A few of the risks came off and a lot of them didn't but that's what makes the album so frustrating and so fascinating.
I know I'm drowning you all in Toy this week but given that she only releases new material once every second decade, I hope you'll forgive me. The latest milestone in La Toya's stunning comeback is a moving video tribute (above) to Michael. The Pope of Pop talks about keeping her brother's dream alive and promotes one of his favourite AIDS charities - by plugging her latest single! It's all very sweet. There's a strange innocence about La Toya that reminds me of Michael. I don't think it enters her pretty little head that some people might find her actions slightly tasteless. I honestly believe she's just trying to be a good sister and this is the only way she knows how. By the way, how completely fucking amazing does our Goddess look? Toy Toy has always been a vision of heavenly beauty but she looks absolutely breathtaking here. I swear she looks half Janet's age - and weight. I love the new hair and I think she's had some of her nose reinstated. Either that or they filmed this through a lens with enough Vaseline to lube up Cheryl Cole's prolapsed arsehole.
Today is a toytastic moment in the history of pop music. Mark the 28th of July down in your diary as the day the (highly disputed) Queen of Pop released her first single in over a decade. Yes, bitches - the legendary La Toya Jackson is back! I've been waiting for this moment ever since Toy Toy first announced that she was startin' over way back in 2002 and now after a decade of false starts, she's finally ready to throw it down and put the haters in check. It's just a shame that it took such sad circumstances for the High Priestess of Pop to reclaim her throne. With any luck, the overwhelmingly positive response to "Home" will inspire Toy to get her big back door into the studio to record new tracks. That is after she hunts down Michael's killer and forces Debbie Rowe to get correct. In the meantime, I've put together a special one off mid-week Pop Panel to celebrate the release of "Home". Today's completely unbiased judges are:
Here's what this fabulous group of high brow music scholars had to say about Toy Toy's heartbreaking tribute to Michael Jackson.
Bomitoni: Toy has touched many with her music over the years. This previously unreleased gem is a true testament to what Toy truly is, a music force to be reckoned with. What a lovely tribute to Michael Jackson! 5/5 Chicago Sexbox: Somewhere up above Michael Jackson is smiling down from a celestial Neverland as he is greeted by the sounds of La Toya Jackson's power ballad and soon to be epic anthem for Michael Jackson fans everywhere, "Home". Michael's closest and most talented sister releases this gem from her vault to not only honor her brother and the childhood home they shared growing up but to donate all proceeds to Michael's favorite AIDS charity. While Janet is probably already corrupting poor Michael's children with her collection of S&M anal porn, La Toya appeases the King of Pop's spirit much like she has done with her fans with her previous musical ventures. For those of you who didn't believe roll up your sleeves......cuz La Toya is throwing down with her new spiritual and uplifting sound! 5/5
Jamie: For many years the thinking man's Jackson has tantalised us with pop gems like 2003's Billboard Dance/Club Chart smash "Just Wanna Dance", "Free The World", and her ghetto throwdown to pimps and dealers across the globe - the seminal "I Don't Play That". On her latest opus La Toya gives us a glimpse of the good old days of growing up in the Jackson family home surrounded by the only people she ever really knew. It's just lovely, syrupy, over the top, and melancholy all at the same time. What a poignant and fitting time to release this fan favourite which serves as a perfect tribute to Michael, the King of Pop - 5/5!
Jay: The Pope Of Pop returns to bless us all with a heavenly anthem and a touching tribute to her recently departed brother. What makes this even more touching is Queen Toy showing her forgiveness for him once again sabotaging her career as him dropping his clogs has ensured the much anticipated "Startin' Over" has been delayed indefinitely... just like he ruined "Night Time Lover" and stole "Thriller"! Though I still think a re-issue of "Free The World" would have been far more fabulous. 5/5
Mike: Music fans are used to Jackson sisters being pudgy frumps like Janet and Rebbie. La Toya's curse has always been her exquisite looks and unrivalled sex appeal but hopefully the tragedy of Michael's death will allow people to look past her divine body and finally embrace the powerhouse vocals that have driven Toy Soldiers wild for three decades. "Home" truly is a toyriffic tune. The production is epic, the lyrics are tender and Toy Toy turns it out vocally. A work of genius. 5/5
Tommie: A true triumph in good taste and artistry! Anyone who disagrees has clearly listened to Janet's pussy ballads for too long and shouldn't be taken seriously. 5/5
Total: 30/30
That's highest score in Pop Panel history! I always knew Toy Toy had it in her. "Home" is now available from US and UK iTunes. Please do the poor bitch a favour and download it! The rest of us can bask in the glory of Toy's stunning "Home" by watching the video (below).
Haters need to get correct or La Toya will put you in check! That's the message the priestess of pop sent to the world's media this week when she clarified some details about her stunning Michael Jackson tribute. In a press release Toy struck back at claims that "Home" is tasteless and poorly timed, explaining that all proceeds are going to an AIDS charity that Michael supported. Just imagine the difference that ten dollars could make to someone's life! Furthermore, La Toya is refusing to promote the song - which torpedoes the theory that she is releasing it just to get back in the spotlight. Seriously, anyone who doubted the thinking man's Jackson needs to hang their head in shame and beg forgiveness!
The most exciting thing about the past week for me has been surprisingly positive online reaction. Perez Hilton and D Listed have both been rocked by "Home" and the comments weren't nearly as hateful as I expected. The video has now been watched over 90,000 times on youtube and the song is currently the 56th most viewed music video of the week - in Italy! Dannii wishes she had that much $ucce$$! Interestingly, it's not the first time Italians have bathed in the glory of Toy Toy. A clip recently surfaced of La Toya performing at the 1990 San Remo song festival and it has to be one of the most toygasmic things I've ever seen in my life. "You And Me" has always been one of my favourite Toy anthems and it's a joy to see her perform the gorgeous ballad live. She sounds adorable, looks like an angel (who has just been attacked with a bedazzler) and holds the audience in the palm of her lovely hand. I believe that La Toya only came second that year but the voting was obviously rigged by Janet. Revel in Toy's stunning performance below:
Michael Jackson is crying tears of joy in heaven tonight with news that his favourite sister is about to embark on the most anticipated comeback of the century. On Tuesday the 28th of July, La Toya will finally claim her rightful place at the forefront of popular music with the release of her first official US single in over a decade. "Home" is a touching ballad that perfectly showcases the stunning beauty of Toy Toy's voice. It's also a fitting tribute to Michael and will no doubt bring a lot of comfort to his army of mourning fans. It's official - iTunes is gonna get rocked!
As much as I love "Home" and wholeheartedly approve of it being released as a single, it isn't exactly new. In fact, I voted it the best song of 2006 in my end of year countdown! At the time I wrote:
To fully appreciate this song, it helps to know a bit about Toy's life story - that she married a psychotic gangster who beat her up, drugged her, cut her off from her family and generally made her a worldwide laughing stock. La Toya wrote this song about growing up with the Jacksons and missing them during her time in exile. The result is a bittersweet ballad, which is reminiscent of Michael's "Childhood" - only good.
I feel a bit bad about that final sentence now but I stand by it. "Home" stands toe to toe with anything her siblings have recorded. It's a tender love letter to Havenhurst and has only become more poignant in light of recent events. The line about missing Joker (Toy's nickname for Michael) is so incredibly sad. You can hear the new single edit over at Bungalow Records. I prefer the four and half minute version that leaked in 2006 but it's still a triumph. No comment on the toytastic artwork (above) though!
I really hope the song is treated fairly. Insecure Janet fans are already questioning the timing of Toy's comeback - calling it tacky and tasteless but as Michael would say, that's ignorant. While Damita Ho sits on her couch eating donuts and watching anal porn, La Toya has been bravely investigating the circumstances of her brother's death. It's only right that the family looks to her for solace in their time of need and hopefully "Home" does the trick. The 28th is still three weeks away, so check out this amazing promo in the meantime. Be warned, this footage has been known to generate explosive toygasms!
I firmly believe anything Kylie can do, Dannii can do better. Well, with the obvious exception of being successful and having hits. However, there's another chink in Dannii's otherwise fabulous armour - her B-sides, more specifically her lack thereof. Earlier this year I wrote a long post about Kylie's amazing pop offcuts and thought it was about time I did the same for the younger Minogue. Unfortunately, they are harder to find than Dannii's dignity. I count 10 meagre tracks over her 20+ year career, 12 if you count the bonus interview on "Success" and Album megamix on "I Begin To Wonder" (which I don't). It's suddenly clear to me why Dannii always has 35 shitty remixes and no B-sides. The tight bitch has been stockpiling them for her endless string of budget compilations! Anyway, I've decided to order these decidedly slim pickings from best to worst. Here goes:
1. Someone New ("Coconut" - 1998)
"Someone New" isn't just my favourite Dannii B-side, it's one of the best songs she has ever recorded. Everything about this dance anthem is completely epic, from the running time to the spectacular production. Despite coming in at nine and a half minutes, the Green/Masterson penned track never sounds like a remix. Instead, it perfectly blends dance and pop elements. I particularly love the little splashes of piano and the ruthless way the track keeps building and building. I remember reading about "Someone New" being the possible lead single from "Girl" before the album was even released, so I'm mystified as to why it was left off altogether outside Japan. It's an amazing track that would have made a great album even stronger.
2. Feel Like I Do ("So Under Pressure" - 2006)
In my opinion this is the saving grace of Dannii's sorry stint at AATW. Unlike most of the music she released at the house that K Lo built, "Feel Like I Do" isn't watered down dance trash. JCA and Hannah Robinson delivered a meaty pop gem that was the logical progression from "Neon Nights" - dark and dirty pop with killer beats and an almost haunting chorus. I think JCA always bring out the best in Dannii and I hope she considers working with him again if she ever comes out of retirement.
3. Hide & Seek ("I Begin To Wonder" - 2003)
Can someone please build me a time machine so I can go back to 2002 and re-live the "Neon Nights" era? It was so perfect, it almost feels like a dream. The music, the artwork and Dannii's hair - all faultless. The magic even extends to the B-sides. While "Nervous" and "Goodbye Song" are favoured by most fans, I slightly prefer "Hide & Seek". It's such an odd little pop song with its Eastern influences, strange chanting and minimal chorus. The track was probably a bit too abstract for "Neon Nights" but it's definitely one of the most interesting tracks Terry Ronald and Ian Masterson have created for Dannii.
4. It's Time To Move On ("This Is It" - 1993)
This is probably the hardest Dannii B-side to come by given that it has never been released on CD or as a digital download. The "Early Years" fiasco could have remedied that situation but the song was conspicuously absent from the tracklist before the album sold out on iTunes. A couple of years ago a friend ripped me a copy from my "This Is It" cassingle and I've really warmed to it. Unlike many fans, I love Dannii's crazy mid-90s experiments and this is a corker. "It's Time To Move On" is a fairly typical 90s dance track with some subtle R'n'B elements to give it an American sound. It's fairly dated but I love Dannii's vocals and the chorus is very cute. This is better than many of the tracks that made it on to "Get Into You".
5. Nervous ("I Begin To Wonder" - 2003)
I was obsessed with this Ronald/Masterson gem when I first heard it. I think I've played it several hundred times too often over the past few years and have grown a bit tired of it. However, of all the "Neon Nights" B-sides, this is the only one that would have seamlessly slotted into the album. I love the slightly darker dance sound and the chorus has real bite. "Nervous" has an edge that makes it stand out from the crowd. It's depressing to think that a song this good couldn't even make the cut a couple of years ago while noise pollution like "Touch Me Like That" is now considered singleworthy.
6. No Secret ("This Is The Way" - 1993)
I ache for Dannii's mid-90s R'n'B phase and this trashtastic urban jam is fairly typical of the period. It's not quite as charming as "It's Time To Move On" but I love the tinny beats and the cheesy chorus. Maybe it's time for New Jack Dannii to stage a comeback?
7. Goodbye Song ("Don't Wanna Lose This Feeling" - 2003)
The third of the "Neon Nights" B-sides produced by Terry Ronald and Ian Masterson is something of a camp classic. I love the bitchy lyrics ("I've got more to say to the girl who does my nails" and "I think I've got a moment in 2029") and the loopy production but the chorus is MIA. That said, this is still a great little pop song and indicative of the creative high that Dannii and her collaborators were riding at the beginning of the decade.
8. Hallucination ("Jump To The Beat" - 1991)
I'm not even sure this technically qualifies as a B-side. Was the US CD single an official release or just a promo? Anyway, I'm not exactly spoiled for choice so I'm including it. Most fans will be familiar with this from "The Remixes" - the remixed greatest hits package (don't laugh) with the wonky nose on the cover. That version is labelled the "LA Mix" but I can't tell any difference between it and the original. Speaking of LA Mix, that dance outfit wrote and produced "Hallucination". This is probably the wildest thing Dannii recorded in the early part of her career. It's kind of like a poor man's "Do You Dare?" only with a whispered rap. It's very quirky but a lot of fun.
9. Est-Ce Que Tu M'Aimes Encore ("I Begin To Wonder" - 2003)
This is a tough one. The original is one of my all time favourite Dannii tracks but the French language version doesn't quite sound right. In fact, it's almost as clunky as Kylie's French version of "Confide In Me". On the other hand, I'm a sucker for foreign language versions of pop hits and I listen to this quite frequently. It definitely has novelty appeal!
10. I've Been Waiting For You ("Perfection" - 2005)
The B-side to "Perfection" is curiously underwhelming. I love Terry Ronald and Ian Masterson but this just sounds tired - like every other faceless dance track being churned out of AATW. The production is a bit flat, the chorus doesn't quite click and Dannii could be reading from the phone book, she sounds so disinterested. Kind of sums up the entire AATW era really.
Bonus Track
I Don't Wanna Take This Pain (Saxtrumental) ("I Don't Wanna Take This Pain" - 1990)
This doesn't really count as a B-side but I re-discovered it recently when I was going through my Dannii collection. The "saxtrumental" version was only released on vinyl and is one of the trashiest things I've ever heard. Think Kenny G covering "I Don't Wanna Take This Pain" and you get the picture. I recommend hunting this down for comedic value alone!
Michael Jackson was the Peter Pan of pop, the man who refused to grow old. It seems completely unfair that something as unremarkable as a heart attack should put an end to a magnificent career that survived scandal after scandal relatively intact. Unlike the majority of increasingly macabre media reports currently flooding the internet, I refuse to focus on the tragic side of Michael's life. The King of Pop clearly had his demons but he achieved more by the time he was 10 than most of us will accomplish in a lifetime. Instead, I'd like to pay tribute to an amazing artist by writing about my brief stint as one of his many devoted disciples. My love for Michael's music might have waned over the years but he never lost my admiration.
In the mid-80s my family finally got around to buying a VCR and one of the first videos we owned was "Thriller". I have no idea who chose it but I'm guessing it was my older sister. The clip was frightening stuff for a 5 year old and I had nightmares for a week. However, as I got older, it became one of my favourites and I watched that battered VHS compulsively. "Thriller" got me hooked on Michael and by the time "Bad" was released in 1987, I was already a loyal fan. More than twenty years have passed but I still remember purchasing the cassette with my pocket money and literally playing it until the tape broke. I listened to the album today and it isn't quite the masterpiece I remember. While "Bad" doesn't match the brilliance of "Off The Wall" or "Thriller", it's so intricately connected with my childhood memories that I find it hard to be objective. There's a bit of filler but time has been very kind to "Man In The Mirror", "Smooth Criminal" and "The Way You Make Me Feel".
I discovered Stock Aitken Waterman in the late 80s and my musical taste evolved radically (many would say in the wrong direction). By the time "Dangerous" was released in 1991, I had already lost interest in Michael. That's not to say I gave up on him entirely. Once you've caught the Havenhurst bug, there's no going back. Instead, I increasingly focused my attention on his fabulous siblings. My undying love for La Toya is pretty well known but I keep my admiration for Rebbie, Jackie, Jermaine, Marlon and Randy on the downlow. I'm starting to ramble now but I just don't know how to end this post without sounding completely trite or overly dramatic. I guess I just want to thank Michael for being the soundtrack to so many happy childhood memories. My deepest condolences to his family and army of faithful fans.
Last week's post covered Barbra's early 70s transformation into a contemporary pop artist with albums like "Stoney End" and "Barbra Joan Streisand". While those gems certainly got the ball rolling, Babs' evolution into a modern pop diva was in full swing by the mid-70s. This is one of my favourite periods in Streisand's long and fabulous career. She started taking bigger creative risks (some paid off, others didn't) and explored a plethora of different musical genres. The results were mixed but never boring. This is definitely an era that newcomers should consider checking out - if only for her stunning Bob Marley cover! Reggae Barbra, anyone?
I finished off the last installment by examining 1974's "The Way We Were" (not to be confused with the film soundtrack). Barbra reverted to a more traditional mix of standards and power ballads on that album and scored herself a massive #1 hit. It would have been easy to repeat herself on the follow up but Babs was determined to be down with the kids. Encouraged by her then boyfriend (and producer) Jon Peters, the great diva embarked on what would be her most eclectic album yet. "Butterfly" is a gorgeous little oddity. I love everything about it from the witty cover art to the downright bizarre song selection. After four years of writing this blog, I'm ecstatic to finally have a reason to write about this underrated trash classic.
"Butterfly" probably qualifies as a covers album given that 9 of the 10 tracks have previously been released by other artists but I don't think that term even existed in the mid-70s. A fascinating part of researching this post has been discovering the extent to which songs were recycled back then. Barbra had thrown in a couple of unusual choices on previous albums but "Butterfly" is a veritable treasure trove of bizarre covers. The most infamous cut is probably her fabulous destruction of Bob Marley's "Guava Jelly" but my favourite has to be Babsi's haunting version of David Bowie's "Life On Mars". I love the simple production and think it holds up well against the original. Unfortunately, David wasn't as enthusiastic, describing it as "atrocious" and "awful". I'm surprised Babs didn't have him whacked! Other highlights incude the three R'n'B numbers (Bill Withers' "Grandma's Hands", Paul Anka's "Jubilation" and Ray Charles' "Crying Time") and Barbra's lovely interpretation of "I Won't Last A Day Without You" - made famous, of course, by The Carpenters. "Butterfly" doesn't get a lot of love from the Streisand faithful but I can't recommend it highly enough.
Her next project couldn't be more different to "Butterfly". Barbra packed away her flares to star in "Funny Lady", the tragically titled sequel to "Funny Girl". It's no secret that Babs was contractually obliged to make the film and you can tell that her heart wasn't really in it. In fact, I'm surprised "Funny Lady" turned out as well as it did given the strange cast (who really wants to hear James Caan sing?) and the uninspiring tunes. There's no doubting the genius of Kander & Ebb (Cabaret, Chicago etc) but this has to be the most underwhelming score of their illustrious career. As far as I'm concerned, there's only one brilliant song and that's the bittersweet "How Lucky Can You Get". Having said all that, "Funny Lady" was a box office hit and scored 5 Academy Award nominations. So what the hell do I know?
It's funny how time can change your opinion of an album. I always thought 1975's "Lazy Afternoon" was only good for two things - the hilarious cover photo and Barbra's first foray into disco. However, earlier this week I listened to the album (in full) for the first time in years and was really surprised by how much I enjoyed it. I still think "Lazy Afternoon" is wildly uneven and lacks direction but it contains some real gems. "Widescreen" is totally epic, while "My Father's Song" makes me teary every time I hear it. However, my favourite track is still Barbra's disco debut. "Shake Me, Wake Me" is glorious cover of an earlier hit by The Four Tops but it seems to have been largely forgotten by disco fans. A 12" single was released but I've never heard the extended version. I imagine it's pure disco heaven! "Lazy Afternoon" is also notable for the self-penned "By The Way" and the gorgeous "I Never Had It So Good". Unfortunately, the rest of the album is languid to the point of being stillborn.
Does anyone actually like "Classical Barbra"? I seriously hate to think how many gays are using the album to prop up uneven furniture. Just take my word for it and avoid this opera-lite debacle at all costs! As unfortunate as Barbra's classical detour was, I still admire her for trying something different. Happily, her next musical project was a completely different affair. I'm referring to her multi-platinum selling "A Star Is Born" soundtrack. While the film has its merits, Judy Garland's version is better and I usually find myself fast forwarding between the musical numbers - which are uniformly excellent. I love that they set out to make a rock musical and somewhat surprisingly, Barbra thrives in the genre.
There really isn't a bad song to be heard on "A Star Is Born", perhaps with the exception of Kris Kristofferson's "Hellacious Acres". However, I can forgive that because he was so fucking hot. The soundtrack will always be best remembered for "Evergreen" (below), which earned Babs a Grammy and an Academy Award for Best Song. I worship that gem as much as the next Streisand diehard but I actually prefer the tracks she performs with The Oreos (her backing singers in the film). "Queen Bee" is a funktastic jam of epic proportions, while "Everything" has to be heard to be believed. This camp ballad has some of the classiest lyrics ever committed to record. My favourite line is "I'd cure the cold and the traffic jam. If there were floods, I'd give a dam"! For a completely different side to Barbra check out the rockin' medley "With One More Look At You/Watch Closely Now". Phew! That's all for now. Check in for more Babs next week.
It's been three long months since the high priestess of pop last graced Pop Trash Addicts and I'm starting to have serious withdrawals. People always think I'm being ironic when I write about La Toya but I honestly can't imagine life without her fabulous flops. Over the past few years I've paid tribute to most of them with one glaring exception - Toy Toy's stunning 1987 duet with Japanese "superstar" Jed. Say what you like about the thinking man's Jackson but you have to admit it takes a special talent to sing out of tune in two languages simultaneously! "Yes, I'm Ready" isn't La Toya's finest moment but it definitely ranks as one of the funniest.
"Yes, I'm Ready" was unleashed on the unsuspecting Japanese public in early 1987, not long after Toy's infamous duet with Cerrone. You think she would have learnt her lesson after that (admittedly fabulous) debacle but I'm pretty sure the Duchess of dance was just happy to be working. There's not a lot I can tell you about La Toya's foxy duet partner - Jed appears to have been a complete nobody. In fact, as far as I can tell, "Yes, I'm Ready" was his first and last recording. The poor guy obviously decided to quit while he was ahead! If anybody has any information on this international man of mystery, please get in touch.
As for the song, it's a surprisingly faithful cover of Barbra Mason's classic 60s pop hit - only with the occasional verse sung in Japanese! Toy Toy's pronunciation apparently leaves a lot to be desired but she gets through it with her dignity somewhat intact. As for Jed, I'm guessing he's not a native speaker either. The result is one hell of an amusing trainwreck. However, it's not all bad. I love the toygasmic chorus and the minimal production allows you to hear La Toya's beautiful voice in all its exquisite glory. If you think you can cope with this much fabulousness check out the magic of "Yes, I'm Ready" below (you might have to press the button twice):
Yes, I'm Ready
In another toytastic development, fans have created a petition to get "Startin' Over" released. The album has been gathering dust for almost 7 years, so I think Dannii has a better chance of scoring a worldwide smash hit than Toy's opus has of seeing the inside of a record store. Life as a Toy Soldier is never easy!
Japanese pop icon Ami Suzuki rocked the Gold Coast to its very foundations on Sunday night without even picking up a microphone. At first I was slightly disappointed that I'd flown from Sydney to listen her holiness play a bunch of CDs but just being in her presence was enough to turn the evening into a semi-religious experience. That and the fact that she accidentally spilled some water on my head. Yes, bitches - I've been baptised by Amigod! Apart from that life changing moment, the highlight of the evening was undoubtedly hearing Ami play a fabulous mash of "Free Free" and "Can't Get You Out Of My Head". I wish she played more of her own music but at least she picked the two best songs from her vast catalogue of hits. Other tracks spun by the pop legend include "Just Dance", "Sexy Bitch" and "Boom Boom Pow". Ami is so cutting edge! There isn't actually that much I can write about a DJ set, so I thought I'd let the pictures do the talking.
While lesser stars play at common venues like Acer Arena and the Entertainment Centre, Ami prefers to keep it real by rocking Bedroom Nightclub. Conveniently located near Condom Kingdom and a kebab store.
Ami-mania even spread to the urinal. Pissing in public has never been more glamorous!
The divine diva looked absolutely stunning in her floral dress. Love the sequined headphones.
Ami was the picture of concentration...
But eventually let loose and drove the crowd into a frenzy with her amazing tunes.
She changed her own CDs and everything!
"How did it come to this?"
