Kylie & The Curse Of Xenomania

You'd think ruining the Pet Shop Boys' career would have been enough for Xenomania but, if media reports are accurate, they are now looking to drag Kylie into their two man flop machine. Honestly, the thought of Brian and Miranda producing the majority of Kylie's next album makes my blood run cold. Isn't the hideousness of "Giving You Up" warning enough that Kylie shouldn't be allowed within 10 Kilometres of Xenomania? It's by far the worst single of her 20 year career - and she wants to make half the album with them? Someone please call Susan Powter because we need to STOP THE INSANITY!

I agree that Kylie's next offering needs a more cohesive sound. "X" is my second favourite Parlophone album after "Light Years" but it did suffer from too many cooks in the kitchen. Hiring one or two producers is a great idea but Xenomania isn't the answer. Kylie needs to push her boundaries and keep trying new things, while everything that Brian Higgins touches has that same boring old sound. I'll gladly put up with the occasional "Nu-Di-Ty" for the pristine pop of "The One", "In My Arms" and "2 Hearts". Xenomania is a spent force. Working with them would be two huge steps back. Artistic merit aside, it would also be commercial suicide. Their sound is so English. Exactly how many hits have the ugly trolls from Girls Aloud scored outside the UK? I think you'll find the answer is 0. Has poor Kylie finally given up on international chart success in order to score a few cheap hits in Britain?

If the Xenomania revelation wasn't bad enough, the same sources state that Kylie will work on the other half of the album with Nerina Pallot. Seriously, was Lisa Scott Lee busy? I'm lost for words. I quite liked the flop diva's last album (particularly her cover of "Confide In Me") but I sure as hell don't want Kylie to emulate her sound. Kylie has made such edgy choices in the past, working with the likes of Emiliana Torrini and Kish Mauve. Why is she bothering with this middle of the road has-been? While I run to church and pray that this is all a big hoax, check out Nerina's only "hit" (below). Can't you just imagine this as a Kylie anthem? No, me neither.