(How Does It Feel) In My Arse?

Well, I haven't had too many complaints but enough about my miserable sex life. The title of this post actually refers to Deirdre Halliwell's brilliant new anthem, which is dedicated to yours truly! This is one of the proudest moments of my life. I still can't believe an internationally renowned megastar like Deirdre wrote a song in my honour - and what an amazing song it is! I've been harassing the stunning Ms Halliwell to cover a Kylie track for her next smash hit EP (her last offering was certified plastic in at least 3 former Soviet states) for ages but I wasn't expecting anything as fabulous as this. "In My Arms" has been transformed into the ultimate gay sex anthem with classy lyrics like "the KY's open and it's up my bum, hurry up and get a condom"! The whole thing is sublime, from Deirdre's angelic but completely out of tune vocals right through to the hilarious clip. It's only a matter of time before Sony BMG comes knocking on this woman's door, mark my words! In the meantime, Deirdre is flogging her latest album on Ebay for the bargain price of 1 pound and has started an amazing new blog. A huge thanks to Deirdre for this amazing honour!

Gimme Cock!

No, I haven't confused my blog with my gaydar profile. "Gimme Cock" isn't a horny plea on my behalf (I'm at least a day away from being that desperate!) but rather the name of Deirdre Halliwell's stunning new single - a breathtaking cover of Britney's "Gimme More". Deirdre is one of the internet's true originals. Her fabulous mission is turning pop songs into smutty anthems and Britney's latest hit was always going to be ripe for the picking! "Gimme Cock" is Deirdre at her sleazy best. It's witty, filthy and performed with more panache than Britney could ever muster. I think my favourite part is the line about Deirdre flashing her hairy gash. Classy!

Give an old bird a cheap thrill and say hello to Deirdre on her Myspace or Bebo listing!

The Return Of Cheesy Pop Music!

As Deirdre Halliwell's official number one fan, I feel it is my obligation to inform you that the old boiler's fabulous pop Blog, Cheesy Pop Music, is back! Deirdre has re-opened her Blog with a post about some old whore who had a couple of decent tunes in the 1980s. However, I'm sure she will soon delve into her box of tricks and pull out something suitably demented. I want some Marilyn if you've got any, my love!

In honour of Ms Halliwell's return to the Blogosphere, I'm posting her stunning cover of Nelly Furtado's "Maneater". In true Deirdre fashion, the song has received a few minor tweaks and is now called "(I've Got A) Mangina". From what I hear, half of Scotland can verify that. I can only imagine how green with envy Nelly would be if she heard "Mangina". Deirdre's unique vocal delivery and arresting good looks create one hell of a package! Welcome back, Deirdre. You were sorely missed!

In other news, the Deni Hines concert was fabulous. That women should be bigger than Mary J. Blige, not performing shows at the Old Boatshed in Manly! I've also been listening to the recently leaked Kylie tracks and I'm in awe. The bitch has obviously been stealing from Dannii again because the new material is beyond fabulous. "Stars" and "In My Arms" give me goosebumps. Bring on the album!