Gimme Cock!

No, I haven't confused my blog with my gaydar profile. "Gimme Cock" isn't a horny plea on my behalf (I'm at least a day away from being that desperate!) but rather the name of Deirdre Halliwell's stunning new single - a breathtaking cover of Britney's "Gimme More". Deirdre is one of the internet's true originals. Her fabulous mission is turning pop songs into smutty anthems and Britney's latest hit was always going to be ripe for the picking! "Gimme Cock" is Deirdre at her sleazy best. It's witty, filthy and performed with more panache than Britney could ever muster. I think my favourite part is the line about Deirdre flashing her hairy gash. Classy!

Give an old bird a cheap thrill and say hello to Deirdre on her Myspace or Bebo listing!

Comeback Of The Decade - Melissa Tkautz!

Australia's queen of trash is on the comeback trail - yet again! Melissa Tkautz really is the most determined diva in show business. The last I heard, Melissa was lining up to play herself in a zombie movie after being dropped by her short sighted record company. As much as I love the idea of Mel running from zombies in hotpants and high heels, I was even more excited to learn that this living legend is back in the studio!

I started to get suspicious that Melissa had something on the boil when she re-surfaced on the social scene, looking breathtaking at the Urban Music Awards and appearing as a costume judge at this year's Sleaze Ball. Classy! I did a bit of digging and discovered that Melissa is indeed poised for yet another comeback. Apparently, Melissa is busy recording an album of DJ collaborations. I'm not sure what that means exactly but Melissa and dance music sounds like a winning combination to me! I'll be interested to learn if any of the songs from her recent scrapped album are included. I was lucky enough to hear some of the tracks from it recently and they are, without a doubt, some of the best material she has ever recorded. "Fake It Good" and "Not Enough" are both potential smash hits!

Jade Macrae - In The Basement

Jade Macrae's pop makeover is as fabulous as it was unexpected. Jade was launched as Australia's answer to Beyonce a couple of years ago and instantly became the poster girl for our surprisingly diverse urban scene after a string of top 50 hits - most notably the magnificent Kelis rip-off So Hot Right Now. I liked Jade's debut album but her latest single takes her to a whole new level.

"In The Basement" represents a huge change of direction for Jade. Recorded in Stockholm's famous Maratone studio and produced by Max Martin's associate Arnthor Birgisson, Jade's new single is a slinky pop extravaganza. Gone are the urban adornments of her first album, "In The Basement" is unashamedly POP! Jade's new sound is a perfect fit for her voice and glamorous image. I can't help but feel that this fabulous diva has found her true calling. "In The Basement" has all the hallmarks of a pop classic - smutty lyrics, killer beats, a camp spoken interlude, high quality production and an insanely catchy chorus!

If Britney came up with something half as good as this song it would be number 1 for months. Which takes me to my next point. Australian radio is run by a pack of arseholes. "In The Basement" is undoubtedly one of the best Australian tracks of the year and could not be any more radio friendly. And yet, all I hear when I turn on the radio is that crack whore stripper, Ne-Yo and Rihanna. What does a local artist have to do to get some airplay? It doesn't help that the single is impossible to find in stores. In the circumstances, it's amazing that Jade managed to chart at all. The single is well worth ordering from Chaos for the remixes and B-side. I actually quite like the ghettotastic MPHAZES Remix but the club mix is more my style. I was expecting the usual tacky dance anthem but this is surprisingly dark and sexy. The link will only be up for a short time. If you like it, do this poor diva a favour and order the song or download it from iTunes.

Jade is about to embark on a string of live shows to promote her upcoming album "Get Me Home" - which is described as sexy electro-pop! Pre-order your copy here. To learn more about this fabulous talent, check out Jade's website and Myspace. Don't forget to watch the sexy video!

Brace Yourself For Jeannie Dee!

Every so often you hear a song that stops you dead in your tracks with its sheer magnificence. Jeannie Dee's "Bed Of Nails" is one of those rare tunes that stands out as a classic from the very first listen. I was sent Jeannie's masterpiece a couple of months ago by the lovely Deirdre Halliwell but never got around to listening to it until last week when "Bed Of Nails" popped up on my Ipod during a random shuffle. I was completely transfixed by the song's epic fabulousness and immediately set about researching the sultry chanteuse behind it.

Who wouldn't want to wake up next to sexy Jeannie?

Jeannie Dee is an all singing, all dancing drag sensation from Kent, England. Unlike other drag divas who mime to popular hits, Jeannie performs her own material - live! I'm not only blown away by Jeannie's stunning vocal ability and magnetic charisma, I also really admire what she stands for. This sexy minx is living proof that you're never too old to reinvent yourself. Jeannie only started performing 5 years ago - at the ripe, old age of 58. Yes, it's hard to believe that this gorgeous specimen is 63 years old! At an age when most blokes are getting prostate exams and contemplating retirement, Jeannie slipped on her sexiest wig and recorded one of 2007's best pop moments!

"Bed Of Nails" is a corker of a song, which manages to be both hilarious and insanely catchy. From the opening prologue about Jeannie being a demonic goddess, to the hilarious spoken verses and explosive chorus - this is a first class pop anthem! I'm glad that Jeannie eventually found her calling in life as a pop star. The Spice Girls should hire Jeannie as a consultant for their comeback tour. I'm sure she could teach those lazy tramps a thing or two about stage presence. Just watch this astonishing life performance of "Bed Of Nails" - what a pro!

Visit Jeannie's Myspace to learn more about this stunner. Make sure you check out Jeannie's latest tune, "Jesus On A Motorbike"!

Pop Goddess Joanne - Volume 4

Welcome to the latest installment of my continuing retrospective on the career of Australia's fabulous Joanne. The first three volumes have covered Joanne's legendary "Jackie" as well as her next two (highly underrated) singles and "Breakin' There's No Stoppin' Us" - Joanne's collaboration with Ilanda. Amazingly, the best was yet to come for this extraordinary talent!

"Busted" was Joanne's first solo single in over two years and it represented a major change in direction. The techno influence that shaped her earlier material had given way to a polished pop sound with subtle R'n'B elements thrown in for good measure. Joanne clearly had her eye on Kylie's pop crown and for a while there she seemed as likely a contender as anyone. "Busted" is a blissful piece of pop music. From the opening schoolyard taunts to the camp lyrics and Joanne's formidable vocal delivery, this is top shelf pop. The song received considerable radio airplay and peaked at #36 - Joanne's second biggest single at that point. I can't help think that it would have fared considerably better if it had been released sooner.

Stay tuned for further Joanne installments. "So Damn Fine" and "I Don't Know" stand out as two of the best Australian pop moments of the decade!

Pop Trash Addicts - The Website & Forum!

A few months ago I had a conversation with my good friend (and famed Church Of La Toya creator) Jamie about starting a new blog together. The idea didn't really go anywhere until we were rudely thrown out of our favourite La Toya forum for posting erotic fan fiction and decided we would make our own damn website! Somewhere along the way Jamie convinced me to expand on idea behind this blog and after months of swapped e-mails, MSN conversations and our fair share diva tantrums - it's finally fit for public display!

I plan to continue with this blog as normal. The new site is just more of the same - only with extra tragic flavour courtesy of Jamie! I can take or leave the main page (sorry Jamie!) but I'm very proud of our A-Z diva gallery. I'm quite sure it's the only site on the internet to showcase the talents of Bionda, Liza Minnelli, Dannii, Nicki French, Brielle Davis, Robyn, La Toya, Millie Jackson, Melinda Jackson and Deni Hines (among others)!

Other features include our banned La Toya fan fiction, reviews and an overview of upcoming releases. We've even managed to twist Deirdre Halliwell's arm to be our resident agony aunt! I'm also pretty excited about our forum. We're not trying to be Pop Justice or Togerland. I'll be very happy if we can bring together 10 trash loving fans for cosy conversations about our favourite budget divas. Please feel free to register and say hello!

Neither Jamie or I are particularly good with computers and it shows. The site looks pretty cheap but I think it suits the low class divas we're showcasing! Please keep in mind that this is very much a work in progress. I really hope you like it!

Enter the new and improved Pop Trash Addicts

Grease Remixed

I stumbled home early this morning and faced the usual post-party dilemma of not being able to sleep. I cleaned the bathroom, did some ironing and then settled down to watch Grease for probably the 5000th time. Some people have comfort food, I have 1978's highest grossing movie musical! I still remember being completely transfixed the first time I watched Grease on TV. In a disturbing sign of things to come, I identified with Rizzo and thought Sandy was a bit of a bore until that magical movie moment when Olivia unleashes her inner slut and pussy whips Danny with her tight, black spandex pants and dashing new perm. No matter how many times I see the film, I never get sick of that moment or the magnificent song that accompanies it. "You're The One That I Want" was written by Olivia's long-time collaborator John Farrar and became a world wide smash hit, reaching #1 in the US and spending 9 weeks at the top of the UK charts. The song has been covered numerous times but I'm not really interested in hearing the song performed by other voices. I'm much less averse to tragic remixes of the original and "You're The One That I Want" has been butchered by some of the trashiest DJs in the business. The masterminds behind Almighty need no introduction and their interpretation is as fabulous as you would expect. However, the prize for the best remix belongs to Dr Dre & Snoop Dogg Vs Grease! I'm not sure which demented mind created this unholy mix but they are clearly some kind of evil genius. Enjoy!