Karen Danzig - La La La La La

From the lofty heights of Kylie to the more... common delights of Karen Danzig. Well, this place is called Pop Trash Addicts for a reason! The lovely and highly glamorous (see above) Karen first came to my attention a couple of years ago when she teamed up with Styles & Breeze for the UK top 20 hit "Heartbeatz". That song was surprisingly picked up for an Australian release by Central Station and swiftly became a firm favourite of mine. It even placed in my best of 2006 countdown, where I lamented that "Karen should be as massive as Kelly Llorenna"! Unfortunately that might be too great a mountain to climb but this plucky diva is giving it her best shot with another trashtastic dance anthem called "La La La La La". If anything this is an even bigger pile of fabulous Hi-NRG crap than "Heartbeatz". The song is pure tat with a chorus so cheesy it would shame Whigfield but I love it and I think fans of the genre will be equally smitten by Karen's little ditty. Make sure you check out the video clip (below). I want some of what she's on! To conclude, here are three facts you may not know about this stunning talent:

1. Karen appeared on the first series of X Factor with her girlband Tula.
2. She worked with Mike Stock and Matt Aitken as lead singer of The Park.
3. Her resume includes "performing" as a lapdancer!

The Return Of K Lo!

Bow down, bitches. According to industry whispers, the orange goddess is currently bathing in a vat of golden glow in preparation for her magnificent comeback! The pop world just isn't the same without Kelly Llorenna's stunning pipes and luminescent fake tan. She is British pop music and I, for one, can't wait for her return to the lower reaches of the UK top 75. Despite her absence, sultry K Lo has been a busy girl since her last flop single, "I Will Love Again", peaked at a lofty #105. She has recorded a HI-NRG cover of a James Bond theme song for Klone Records, been hired as the vocalist du jour for legendary dance outfit Love To Infinity and most excitingly, re-joined forces with N-Trance - the group that rocketed her to international superstardom all those years ago.

The new N-Trance record, "Nothing Lasts Forever", is a glorious return to form. The beats come hard and heavy, while Kelly's exquisite vocals waft above the track like a gift from sweet baby Jesus. Seriously, listening to this you would be forgiven for thinking it was 1997 all over again and I mean that as a huge compliment. I hope the song is a smash hit for Kelly and the boys but given AATW's (her record company) recent track record, I wouldn't be surprised if this brilliant anthem never sees the light of day. So make sure you listen to it here. It really is quite fabulous. While we wait with baited breath for K Lo's glorious return, why not check out her last opus - a trashtastic cover of Donna Summer's "Hot Stuff". I finally worked out how to stream music (thanks Jennifer!), so you can bask in Ms Llorenna's magnificence below. This stunning masterpiece appears on the classily titled "Gay Days 5" compilation and is available to download from Australian iTunes. Welcome back, Kelly. You have been sorely missed!

Hot Stuff

Bow Down To Billiam

My prayers have finally been answered. Britain's trashiest boyband has returned to revolutionise the music world with another scintillating pop classic! "My Generation" is a perfect example of the fabulous crap Billiam is (not that) famous for. A hands in the air chorus, meaningless lyrics, gloriously cheesy production courtesy of ex-PWL programmer Ian Curnow and a video clip (below) that makes Kylie's "All I See" look like Ben Hur in comparison. All we need is another nude photoshoot! That's not to suggest that the Billiam boys are resting on their laurels and serving up the same old shit. There has been a line up change and their sound is slightly less tragic this time around. "My Generation" actually sounds like it could have been recorded this decade! Happily, the highly recommended Sleazesisters Mix is the slice of pure trash heaven that I have come to expect from the UK's greatest living band. You'll find that remix, along with 29 - yes, TWENTY NINE - other remixes on Australian iTunes! Excitingly, the song looks set to debut in the UK top 30 on Monday.

ATTENTION Take That. You are a pack of boring, old cunts with bad hair and double chins. It's time to step aside for Billiam before you send yet another defenceless granny into a sugar coma with your shitty ballads and dreary mid-tempo jams. I thank you.

Sirens Are Back!

Unfortunately I'm not referring to the legendary Australian girlband of the same name but the slightly less fabulous foursome of pommy slappers. While not possessing the charisma or stunning vocal ability of their antipodean counterparts, the English Sirens still managed to carve out a loyal cult following with their 2004 debut album. The girls flopped miserably in the UK but they found an appreciative audience in Japan, where their attitude filled dance anthems were lapped up by pop fans.

I loved Siren's first album and firmly believe it was ahead of its time. Hopefully, their reincarnation as an urban dance trio (one poor bitch got the boot) will bring them the success they deserve. The trashy tarts should be vying for chart dominance in no time if their stunning comeback single is any indication. "Club La La" is being released in two formats, an urban version and a dance radio remix. No prizes for guessing which I prefer! The dance version of "Club La La" (below) is a cracking electro feast. I love the trashy lyrics and the completely nonsensical chorus. This is the best 'la la la'-ing since "Can't Get You Out Of My Head"! The video is a zero budget extravaganza complete with unconvincing thugs and bad breakdancing. I love it! The Jody Den Broeder Club Mix was released on UK iTunes this week, so get downloading! There's no word yet on an Australian release but you can download their first album ("Control Freaks") from Aus iTunes.

Move aside Whores Aloud, you are now completely redundant!

Keeley Hazell - Voyeur

Bow down to Keeley Hazell, the UK's new queen of pop! Seriously, where has this tragic bitch been all my life? Keeley, currently the 3rd sexiest woman alive according to FHM magazine, is an English "glamour model" best known for her massive knockers. However, that's all about to change with the release of her stunning debut single "Voyeur". From now on this shy maiden will be known for her huge tits - and her appalling voice! Not that "Voyeur" is a bad song by any means. In fact, I think it's a trash classic in the making. Keeley "sings" naughty lyrics in a robotic voice against a backing track that desperately apes Bloodshy & Avant. The result is something akin to Britney Spears, only with a sense of humour and some charisma. Then there's the saucy video, which basically involves Keeley rolling around in bed in various states of undress. Classy! Unfortunately, there's only a one minute preview of the film clip (check it out below) doing the rounds in order to prevent perverts whacking it on their Ipods. Make sure you help fund Keeley's fabulous music career by downloading the song from 7digital. Sadly, there are no plans for a physical release as yet but I'll keep on praying for a 12" picture disc!

Rebecca Loos - Urban Diva!

I almost passed out with delight when I heard that Rebecca Loos was embarking on a pop career. For the uninitiated, Rebecca is best known for carrying on a torrid affair with David Beckham behind Victoria's back - before selling the gory details to the News Of The World. And who could blame David? Posh is a dried up bag of bones with bad teeth and a stretched uterus, while stunning Rebecca is all woman. Since riding David, sexy Bec has gone on to become a global trash icon with her seemingly endless publicity whoring. Here are some of her highlights:

- Masturbated a pig on UK reality TV show "The Farm"
- Had sex in the toilets with Calum Best on "Celebrity Love Island"
- Married a woman on the TV show "Power Lesbian UK"
- Placed third on Spanish Survivor
- Presented entertainment news on Dutch TV
- Played a bisexual masseuse on "Dream Team"
- Was reprimanded for performing oral sex on an Air New Zealand flight
- Posed nude for Playboy magazine
- Appeared on "Temptation Island" and "Extreme Celebrity Detox"
- Publicly declared that Victoria Beckham lacked class and elegance

What's more, this dignified lady appeared on all those trashy reality TV shows for humanitarian purposes. Caring Rebecca declares on her website that she is saving money to open a school in Sri Lanka. What a saint! Hopefully the sales from Bec's stunning music career - if it ever takes off - will help pay for a few textbooks or at least some new breast implants. Her debut single, under the glamorous stage name Phoenix, has finally appeared on youtube and it's even more fabulous than I could have imagined. "Your Boyfriend" is an enchanting ode to Rebecca's endless sex appeal. No man (or woman, for that matter) is safe with Bec on the prowl and she's letting the competition know it! The biggest surprise is Rebecca's amazing vocal ability - her dulcet tones are a thing of great beauty. Poor Victoria must be seething that Rebecca's attempt at R'n'B is so much better than her own. Now, when is this glorious crap hitting stores? My collection is crying out for some Loos!

Risk It For A Biscuit

The music industry could show the rest of the business world a thing or two about recycling. I'm not talking about the rampant sampling that goes on or the flood of cover versions but the popular practice of reviving old ideas. That's not necessarily a bad thing. Take the UK's fabulous new girlband Electrovamp - they strike me as the reincarnation of Shampoo with a touch of Daphne & Celeste thrown in for good measure. We've heard it all before but in comparison to their lacklustre pop contemporaries, Electrovamp sound positively groundbreaking. Despite a mixed response to their debut single in the UK, "I Don't Like The Vibe In The VIP" has been picked up for an Australian release - probably to cash in on the success of another electropop duo, The Veronicas. Yes, familiarity is a highly prized commodity in the pop world!

Electrovamp are two naughty teenage sisters from Cardiff. I can't find a lot of information about Tammy and Kally on the net but it appears they previously performed under the name Cookie and Kute - and suffered the indignity of supporting Sluts Aloud on their "Waking Up The Neighbours" tour. In fact, there is more than a touch of Xenomania about "I Don't Like The Vibe In The VIP". The formulaic beats, pounding bass and guitar are all on display. Thankfully, the song is saved from being another electro-bore by the fun lyrics and Electrovamp's cheeky attitude. The dirty dollies chirp "I'll be your schoolgirl dream" before promising "I'll make you scream like you ain't done it in ages!" This is exactly the kind of cheerfully tawdry filth Shampoo would be making if they were still around today. As much as I like the song, the video (below) sealed the deal for me. Girls flashing their tits, a lesbian orgy in the pool, coke snorting and simulated oral sex - for a while there I thought I was watching an episode of "Skins"!

"I Don't Like The Vibe In The VIP" is released in Australia on the 3rd of March. You can pre-order your copy here. I particularly like the Jack Rokka mix, which you can hear on Electrovamp's myspace.

Britain's Trashiest Boyband - Billiam

Every now and again I stumble across an act so amazingly trashtastic that I'm almost lost for words. A perfect example is Britain's latest boyband "sensation", Billiam. Thrown together during a nationwide talent search, the boys spent 2007 busily raising their profile by partaking in homoerotic photoshoots (above) and touring schools and chavtastic discos across the UK. I'm usually not a boyband fan but Billiam's stunning musical talent and classy image won me over instantly. Take the band's #32 smash hit debut single, "Beautiful Ones". Most boybands stick to the tried and tested route of dreary ballads and uninspired mid-tempo grooves to sell records. Not Billiam! They chose an unfathomably camp Hi-NRG dancefloor anthem reminiscent of something the Vengaboys recorded in 1997. As much as I worship the artistry on display in "Beautiful Ones", I'm even more taken with the B-side "Boyz Text Girlz" (currently streaming on their myspace). This stunning anthem about love via mobile phones is a pop trash classic with brilliant lyrics like "your ringtone says one message received, so open up your mail and see that it's from me"! It should have been a single! In the meantime enjoy Billiam's jaw dropping "Beautiful Ones" video clip. You can buy "Beautiful Ones" from Amazon UK or download it from 7digital.

Brace Yourself For Jeannie Dee!

Every so often you hear a song that stops you dead in your tracks with its sheer magnificence. Jeannie Dee's "Bed Of Nails" is one of those rare tunes that stands out as a classic from the very first listen. I was sent Jeannie's masterpiece a couple of months ago by the lovely Deirdre Halliwell but never got around to listening to it until last week when "Bed Of Nails" popped up on my Ipod during a random shuffle. I was completely transfixed by the song's epic fabulousness and immediately set about researching the sultry chanteuse behind it.

Who wouldn't want to wake up next to sexy Jeannie?

Jeannie Dee is an all singing, all dancing drag sensation from Kent, England. Unlike other drag divas who mime to popular hits, Jeannie performs her own material - live! I'm not only blown away by Jeannie's stunning vocal ability and magnetic charisma, I also really admire what she stands for. This sexy minx is living proof that you're never too old to reinvent yourself. Jeannie only started performing 5 years ago - at the ripe, old age of 58. Yes, it's hard to believe that this gorgeous specimen is 63 years old! At an age when most blokes are getting prostate exams and contemplating retirement, Jeannie slipped on her sexiest wig and recorded one of 2007's best pop moments!

"Bed Of Nails" is a corker of a song, which manages to be both hilarious and insanely catchy. From the opening prologue about Jeannie being a demonic goddess, to the hilarious spoken verses and explosive chorus - this is a first class pop anthem! I'm glad that Jeannie eventually found her calling in life as a pop star. The Spice Girls should hire Jeannie as a consultant for their comeback tour. I'm sure she could teach those lazy tramps a thing or two about stage presence. Just watch this astonishing life performance of "Bed Of Nails" - what a pro!

Visit Jeannie's Myspace to learn more about this stunner. Make sure you check out Jeannie's latest tune, "Jesus On A Motorbike"!

Victoria Beckham's Stunning New Low

A couple of weeks ago I posted "My Love Is For Real" from Victoria Beckham's scrapped 2004 album and was genuinely surprised by the quality of the track. I even expressed my regret that the project was abandoned. Well, I take it all back. "My Love Is For Real" was the exception to the general rule of everything Skeletoria touches turning to shit. The poor thing is not only completely lacking in talent, she's also utterly delusional if the freshly leaked "Let My Hair Down" is any indication.

Victoria clearly wasn't satisfied with her first spectacularly unsuccessful urban makeover at the hands of Damon Dash and decided to have another stab at relaunching her career as a ghetto diva. What was the crazy bitch thinking? Dannii's "Party Jam" has more street cred than "Let My Hair Down". In fact, this sorry excuse for an urban jam is even less convincing than the two bowling balls attached to Sticky Vicky's chest. I'm not sure what's worse, the cheap production or Victoria inviting her man to "bounce" with her in da club. Bitch, please! The most disturbing thing is the fact that I have listened to this three and a half minute slice of aural torture more than once. I really am a whore for a useless diva with no discernible talent!

A big thanks to Magical Froggy for his stunning cover art!

Kelly Llorenna's New Anthems

After the astonishing lack of success that greeted Kelly Llorenna's last single, it appeared that the orange goddess had finally run out of chances. Thankfully, England's greatest living musical talent has found herself a fabulous new day job as the new voice of dance outfit, Love To Infinity. According to Love To Infinity's myspace, Kelly Llorenna has been hired to help celebrate the group's 15th anniversary by re-recording their biggest hit - 1995's "Keep Love Together". I'm not familiar with the original but I'm sure it has nothing on Kelly's amazing interpretation. The queen of fake tan's powerful vocals are on full display and the track definitely has an anthemic quality. You can hear the track on the group's myspace. As much as I admire "Keep Love Together", I prefer Kelly's other collaboration with Love To Infinity. "Sweetest Day Of May" is a gorgeous slice of retro dance-pop, which is reminiscent of K Lo's brilliant "Heart Of Gold".

It warms my heart to think that Kelly Llorenna's stunning talent is finally being properly harnessed. The release date for "Keep Love Together" is yet to be announced but I'm sure it will return K Lo to her rightful place in the lower reaches of the top 100.

Victoria's Scrapped Single

I love Victoria Beckham as a celebrity. Her "reality" TV show was pure bliss and I get a warm feeling inside every time I see her emaciated figure pinned into an unflattering designer gown on the red carpet. As a pop star, however, Skeletoria was as useless as an ashtray on a motorbike. Sticky Vicky's debut album showcased her lack of vocal talent to a terrifying extent, while her subsequent urban makeover still draws snickers of laughter. Despite her musical shortcomings, the recent leak of a new VB song still managed to trigger a ripple of excitement through the Spice Girls' amazingly loyal fanbase.

I'm no authority on Victoria's career, so I asked internationally renowned Spice expert Magical Froggy to provide some details on the story behind the Cathy Dennis penned track, "My Love Is For Real". Here's what he had to say:

"The single was supposed to be released in the summer of 2004 (after the Xmas success of Let Your Head Go/This Groove), but that was when the Rebecca Loos thing happened. Victoria was put under a lot of pressure by the media saying the affair was her fault as she was away all the time working on her failing music career. She then quit her music for the sake of her marriage. The most infuriating thing in my eyes! It's not Victoria's fault if David can't keep his dick under control!"

It's a shame that Victoria decided to pull the plug on her career after finally recording a decent song. "My Love Is For Real" is a lovely mid-tempo electro number that becomes more enjoyable with each listen. An album of this kind of material would have been most welcome but I guess it wasn't to be.

Thanks to everyone who sent me "My Love Is For Real". Magical Froggy deserves a special mention for his insight into Victoria's career and the fabulous mock cover. And no, I'm not sure what the fish is all about either!

Dame Shirley's Record Breaking Hit

I was greatly dismayed by Blogland's apparent indifference to Dame Shirley Bassey's latest release. "The Living Tree" is not only Shirley's best single since "History Repeating" and camper than Julian Clary at a Kylie concert but the song also marks Shirley's 50th anniversary in the UK singles chart and gives her the record of the longest span of top 40 hits. It is truly astonishing to think that Shirley was a chart regular way back in the 1950s!

"The Living Tree" desperately tries to sound like a Bond anthem and, to a significant extent, it succeeds. There is nothing subtle about this little tune - everything is BIG, from Shirley's voice to the musical accompaniment. The track is a treat in its original state but I love a remix and the great woman doesn't disappoint. The single contains 6 remixes and 2 versions of the video clip! My favourite is the Superbass Vocal Mix, which is a slice of heaven for the discerning homosexual.

You can purchase the single from any UK online retailer (try Amazon or HMV) or download it directly from Dame Shirley's fabulous website.

Dannii fans: Please note that I have updated Dannii's Dirty Box with a truly craptastic cover of "This Is It"!

Britain's Ultimate Pop Flop - Caprice!

I'm very excited to welcome my second guest contributor, the amazingly talented Magical Froggy. Magical Froggy will be familiar to anyone who has ever braved the murky waters of Den Den or the Dannii Board. In fact, I think he is the only person to be banned more times than myself! Magical Froggy has already contributed some amazing artwork to Pop Trash Addicts and Dannii's Dirty Box but this is his first post and I am absolutely delighted by his choice of muse - a fabulous tart called Caprice. Unfortunately, Australia missed out on the undeniable magic of this shy and retiring flower. I thank Magical Froggy from the bottom of my heart for exposing me to the shining talent of this misunderstood pop genius!

Caprice Bourret. What comes to mind when you hear the name? Fantastic tits? Certainly. A Barbie figure with trashy bleach blonde hair? Definitely. Her stint on UK Celebrity Big Brother? Surely. Being Callum Best's sloppy seconds after her 'romance' with self-styled ginger 'Love God' Mick Hucknall? Perhaps.

You are probably unaware, though, of the many other strings Caprice has in her bow of talent. Firstly, she is a fashion designer. As John McCririck (don't worry if you've no idea who he is, you're better off not knowing) shrewdly pointed out to the nation on Big Brother, she was only on the show to plug her line of 'grubby knickers'. Secondly, she also fancies herself as an actress, appearing in such wonderful productions as Debbie Does Dallas - The Musical (I kid you not). Finally, what you are probably completely unaware of, once upon a time in the late 90s Caprice set her eyes upon the lucrative world of pop superstardom.

In 1999, Caprice and her perfectly proportioned mammaries signed a record deal with the then home of the Spice Girls, Virgin Records. What followed was perhaps one of the most tragically pathetic pop careers ever.

Caprice's self-penned debut single, the originally titled "Oh Yeah", was released in September 1999. When asked in TV interviews what she thought she was doing trying to launch a singing career, Caprice pointed out her role model of Sade, who was successful both as a model and as a singer. Clearly the rest of the world must have missed the phase in Sade's career where she appeared weekly in FHM and Loaded with her legs spread and a charmingly innocent 'whore' tit tattoo. And we won't mention the fact that Sade can sing, whereas Caprice's vocal talent is on a par with a tone-deaf sea lion. Needless to say, the single flopped, peaking at #22.

To get over the shock, Caprice 'did a Dannii' and stepped back from her pop career for a while. After being sent to work with Chesney Hawkes, Caprice came back with the Natalie Imbruglia-esque "Once Around The Sun" eighteen months later. Despite a pretty video with Caprice looking vacant on a US bus, and a surprisingly decent B-Side, "I Would Live For You", the single again did nothing and flopped, again peaking at #22. And that was that.
Caprice then announced that she was 'retiring' from her music career, citing the 'enormous stress' she was placed under. Allegedly she had a breakdown whilst flying back from Europe after promoting her second single there. Bless. That's even more feeble than the Danushka herself!

Enjoy Caprice's musical legacy. Appreciate or snigger, the choice is yours...!

The King Of Queer Pop - Pete Burns

Pete Burns is an enduring oasis of originality and wit in the increasingly dull world of pop. As the outrageous driving force behind Dead Or Alive, Pete stands alone as the only gay pop star to represent the queer community with any sense of flair or authenticity. If Boy George would put down that bowl of ice cream and do something apart from making bad house records under a seemingly endless stream of aliases, he might actually provide Pete with some competition. I have also become fond of George Michael as he has transformed into a fat drug addict with a beat fetish. However, the boring nature of his music negates his increasingly fabulous image. That leaves us with a pack of pathetic cunts like Will Young, Mika, Elton John and Anthony Callea. They should all be locked away in a soon to be demolished building as a public service to the gay community. In a gay pop star battle royale, Pete Burns would be the only queen left standing.

Many people disagree with the high esteem in which I place Pete Burns. His detractors usually refer to the fact that he was married to a woman for 25 years before coming out, ridicule his supposed plastic surgery addiction and claim that he has been milking one song ("You Spin Me Round") for almost a quarter of a century. I would reply by pointing out that Pete has had the same gender-bending image since day one. The videos for early Dear Or Alive songs are so overtly gay that I can hardly believe they were ever shown on morning television. Pete is far from the only gay man to have been married before coming out and he has been incredibly open about his sexuality since meeting his long term boyfriend. As far as the plastic surgery comments are concerned, any ageing diva worth their gay fanbase has been under the knife. If anything, Pete's changing visage only adds to his fabulous allure. The final criticism is interesting because until very recently, I would have agreed. Despite being a fan, my knowledge of Dead Or Alive came to a screeching halt with 1988's "Nude" album. I was aware that the band had continued releasing material in Japan but assumed it must be second rate junk. I have Max to thank for opening my eyes to the delights of Dead Or Alive's brilliant Japanese material and I am devoting this post to covering the band's output from 1990's "Fan The Flame (Part 1)" to 2000's "Fragile".

Dead Or Alive's success in Japan in nothing less than astonishing. If Wikipedia is to be believed, the band has scored nine #1 albums in Japan and seventeen #1 singles. I'm sure these were #1 hits on the Japanese International Chart but that makes the achievement no less impressive. Dead Or Alive's first Japan only album was 1990's excellent "Fan The Flame (Part 1)". The album marked a departure from the band's usual output in both sound and lyrics. The sound had evolved from the typical Hi-NRG beats of their early material to explore a richer sonic pallet. The result is something akin to Stock Aiken Waterman on acid. I particularly love "Unhappy Birthday" with its darkly amusing tale of a fucked up birthday party. I can definitely relate. The theme of shitty celebrations continues with "Blue Christmas", which I believe is the band's very first ballad. I'm surely I'll have this on high rotation in December. The gorgeous "Lucky Day" finds Pete in a much lighter mood. The video for the album's lead single, "Your Sweetness Is Your Weakness", is worth checking out for Pete's La Toya Jackson inspired outfit!

It took several line-up changes and five years until the release of "Nukleoptra", which was not only released in Japan but also found its way to Australia and a couple of other countries due to popularity of the club hit, "Sex Drive". "Nukleopatra" is my favourite of Dead Or Alive album. It is surely one of the campest recordings ever released and shows off the band's fabulous new dance pop sound to great effect. The album was Pete's first since leaving his wife and officially coming out and these events are reflected in the lyrics. For example, the title track sends up Pete's gender bending image with a fabulous lyric about forming a "she-male race", while "I'm A Star" contains hilariously bitchy lyrics about George Michael and Take That. It also boasts several memorable lines about "riding" a DJ. "International Thing" is a more straightforward dance pop song, while "Sleep With You" is a down and dirty slut anthem. Throw in the international club hit, "Sex Drive" and the band's cover of David Bowie's "Rebel Rebel" and you have one of the most enjoyable pop albums of the 1990s.

Dead Or Alive released "Fragile" in Japan in 2000 and, rather predictably, it hit #1. The first single, "Hit And Run Lover" also reached the top spot and the video clip is a thing of beauty. "Fragile" is predominantly a remix album but also includes several new tracks. The new tracks are interesting and find the band experimenting with a harder club sound. "Fragile" is a very good record but there is a bit more filler than killer. Nevertheless, "I Paralyze" is something of a club stomper, while "Isn't It A Pity" provides another commentary on his evolving image. Pete's talent for witty lyrics are on full display with several funny lines. In my opinion, the album's best pop song is the anthemic "Just What I Always Wanted", which strikes me as being more than a little autobiographical.

It has now been almost a decade since Dead Or Alive released their last completely new studio album. There have been greatest hits compilations, remix albums and various re-releases of "You Spin Me Round" to keep fans satisfied but it is high time that Pete made a proper comeback and put all the pretenders back in their place. Thanks again to Max for opening my eyes to this fantastic period in Dead Or Alive's amazing career.

Help cover Pete's plastic surgery fees by purchasing one or all of these fabulous albums from Amazon or Ebay.

Tina Cousins Is Back!

It feels like Tina Cousins has been around since the dawn of time. Tina was one of the seminal figures of 90s dance music, appearing as the guest vocalist for Sash! on classics like "Mysterious Times" and "Pray". Since the 90s, Tina has been busily working on her solo career and has built up a loyal, mostly gay, following through her club tours and appearances at various gay pride festivals. I'm a complete sucker for ageing dance divas who rely on the pink dollar to meet their plastic surgery requirements, so it is fair to say that Tina is right up my alley! As luck would have it, Tina has been focusing on the Australian market for the past few years and I have managed to catch Tina "live" in concert more than once. In fact, Tina has such a strong Australian following that all of the singles from her recent album, "Mastermind", reached the top 50 - no small feat for a minor dance diva on a tiny record label.

Ms Cousins finally released some new material in February in the form of a collaboration with 4 Strings. The single is a double A-side with a new song, "Curious", and a remix of her club classic "Take Me Away". "Curious" is the kind of fabulous dance music that we have come to expect from Tina - it's fresh, fun and makes you want to work it like a cheap whore on the dance floor. I'm very surprised that the song is yet to chart as it is one of Tina's best offerings. If you enjoy "Curious", I highly recommend you buy the CD Single from Chaos or Sanity for the multitude of excellent remixes.