Telephone Vs Videophone

As I'm sure everyone with an internet connection is already aware, the world's two biggest pop stars recently teamed up for not one but two duets. As an an ardent Lady GaGa supporter and Beyoncé's self-proclaimed number 1 Australian fan, the prospect of these fierce bitches joining forces got me more than a little hot under the collar. It's not just that I love their music. I genuinely believe Beyoncé and Lady GaGa are pop circa 2009. Lady GaGa did the impossible by making Madonna redundant in the space of a year and continues to take dance-pop to dizzying new heights, while Beyoncé staked her claim as the undisputed Queen of the urban scene and revolutionised the way albums are marketed in the process with her dual singles and Sasha Fierce alter ego. That's not even touching on the impact of their iconic styling and music videos.

Well, both duets finally leaked and my expectations have not only been met but well and truly exceeded. Admittedly, that wasn't particularly hard when it came to "Videophone". I'm still fuming about that trash being selected as the 8th single from "Sasha Fierce". Beyoncé's album is bursting with songs that most divas would kill for ("Radio", "Smash Into You" and "Disappear" come to mind) and she goes with the stinker about leaving a filthy video message on someone's iPhone. Smart thinking. There's not a lot Lady GaGa could do to improve this apart from press the delete button in the studio but I like the new verses and GaGa's rap isn't as embarrassing as it could have been. I'm pretty sure "Videophone" was only chosen as a single to link in with "Telephone", so I guess it does what it's supposed to and all Beyoncé tracks are eventually rescued by a fagtastic dance remix - so I'll happily make do with this until then.

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The real triumph, however, is Lady GaGa's "Telephone". I've spent the entire afternoon listening to "The Fame Monster" and I vastly prefer it to "The Fame". Each track is brilliant and this duet is no exception. According to rumours, GaGa actually wrote "Telephone" for Britney's "Circus" album and the world's favourite mime artist must be kicking herself for turning it down. This song is the shit. I'm probably the only person who loves (the unremixed version of) "Beautiful Liar" but unlike that superstar duet, "Telephone" delivers what fans want from their two favourite pop divas - an insanely catchy club anthem with quotable lyrics and almost endless remix potential. Funnily enough, even though this is most definitely a Lady GaGa track, Beyoncé's verse steals the show. I love it when B unleashes her inner angry black woman (see the underrated but amazing "Ring The Alarm") and I get tingles when she yells "cause this is a disaster!" Darkchild deserves a lot of credit. I used to think he was a spent force but this is his best production in years. Bring on the video clip/s!!

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