Deni & Christine Go Lez!

I got a huge kick from seeing my homegirl Deni Hines and the lovely Christine Anu on the cover of this week's Lesbians On The Loose. No, they haven't come out in a last ditch attempt to revitalise their careers (although I wouldn't put it past either of them) but they do comment on gay issues and Deni talks about being the daughter of a gay icon. The main purpose of the article, however, is to promote their recent charity single - a soulful cover of The Doobie Brothers' "Takin' It To The Streets". The track was released a couple of weeks ago and failed to make any chart impact whatsover thus maintaining Deni's impeccable record of miserable flops. I swear this country has no fucking taste! Admittedly, "Takin' It To The Streets" isn't the finest thing Deni or Christine has ever recorded but it's well performed and the divas even name check each other! More to the point - it's for a good cause. Help the homeless by buying a physical copy from Chaos or downloading the track from iTunes. You can check out the amazingly craptastic video below. Deni is on fire with her fabulous scene stealing antics but Christine could have gone to a bit more effort and at least brushed her hair! Their second national tour kicks off in December - I can't wait.

Deni's Duet

When she's not abusing cheerleaders or ruining celebrity weddings, the fabulous Deni Hines occasionally finds the time to record some new material. The latest dose of aural ecstasy from Australia's reigning R'n'B queen is a sensual duet with some Z grade soul sister from America called Angela Johnson who, like Deni, is apparently "big in Japan". The song is called "Good Love" and can be found as the Japan only bonus track on Angela's latest album "A Woman's Touch". I didn't really know what to expect from this unlikely coupling but "Good Love" is a sweet slice of soul music. In fact, the song would have slotted in nicely on Deni's mid-90s masterpiece "Imagination".

"Good Love" does sound dated but quality vocals never go out of style and the breezy production makes this first class chill out material. I find it slightly strange that Deni sings the entire lead vocal. Angela obviously realised that she couldn't compete and stepped aside for the greater talent - either that or Deni was up to her old tricks and locked Angela out of the studio when they were recording! Whatever the case may be, the finished product is rather lovely. I don't think it will be everyone's cup of tea but Deni's 10 devoted fans should enjoy it. If you're really keen, you can import Angela's album from HMV Japan. Learn more about Deni's stunning duet partner by visiting her Myspace.

Random Pop Musings

Random Musing #1 - Kylie's Craptastic US Campaign

After months of fucking about, Kylie's US label will finally release "X" on the 1st of April. I was hoping for a completely revised edition of "X" with exclusive bonus tracks and new artwork. Obviously that involved too much effort because the only change to the tracklist is the addition of "All I See" featuring Mims. Speaking of Kylie's urban opus, "All I See" will now be serviced to US radio on the 15th of April - two weeks after the album is released. That means "X" will be released without a lead single and basically no promotion. Kylie has apparently put aside two whole days (48 long hours) to promote the album in the US! Help Kylie score a number 137 Billboard smash hit by pre-ordering your copy here!

Random Musing #2 - It's Deni Time!

My homegirl Deni Hines made the papers this week for all the wrong reasons. It seems Dohnyale abused cheerleaders at a Sydney Kings basketball game, screaming "Get your fucking shit out of my face"! Read about Deni's debacle here. In the wake of that stunning development, another newspaper reported that Deni almost ruined Ricki-Lee's wedding by kicking her band off stage, declaring that it was "Deni time"! I don't believe this rubbish for a second. Deni is an absolute sweetheart and I can't imagine her attacking cheerleaders in front of thousands of people! Even if it were true, it would just make me love her even more. The moral of the story is - don't fuck with the Deni!

Random Musing #3 - Cheer Up, Ricki-Lee!

I was shocked to read about Ricki-Lee's battle with depression in "Woman's Day". She's probably still pissed off about being upstaged by Deni at her own wedding! All jokes aside, I think it was really brave to talk about her mental health problems and I'm glad she's feeling better. Ricki-Lee confirmed her status as one of Australia's most fabulous divas with an amazing live performance of "Can't Sing A Different Song" on Sunrise last week. Check out their website to watch Ricki-Lee strut her stuff. Her voice is fucking amazing! "Can't Sing A Different Song" is on sale now, so order your copy here.

Random Musing #4 - The Australian Amy Winehouse

I know it's a lazy comparison but Gabriella Cilmi really does sound an awful lot like that beehive wearing crackwhore. Which is a bit of a surprise given that Gabriella is a wholesome 16 year old from Melbourne. I'm not a fan of the original Wino, let alone the ever expanding army of Amy clones (Hello, Duffy!) but Gabriella's debut single is actually quite cute. "Sweet About Me" has a subtle pop edge and a surprisingly catchy chorus. It was apparently produced by Xenomania, which would make it their first decent effort since Cher's "Believe". The song is top 20 on Australian iTunes and already charting in the UK. "Sweet About Me" is released in Australia on the 31st of March and can be ordered here.

Random Musing # 5 - A Club Cover

Another local song making waves internationally is Marco Demark's dance cover of "Tiny Dancer". Marco hails from the Gold Coast and the featured guest vocalist, Casey Barnes, is a fellow Queenslander. I'm a sucker for a good club cover, so "Tiny Dancer" is right up my alley. Elton John's 80s classic provides perfect fodder for a club update and Casey's vocal delivery is spot on. Not bad for a rocker best known until now for supporting Bryan Adams on his Australian tour! Order your copy of "Tiny Dancer" here.

Random Musing #6 - Fuck Off, Haters!

Every bitch in Australia had something nasty to say about Kate Alexa's stunning cover of "Teardrops". I absolutely love the song and it was satisfying to see it become Kate's 5th top 30 hit. When are people going to get over the fact that her father runs Mushroom Records and judge her music on its merits? "Teardrops" is fabulous and I'm glad the buying public agree. The haters can fuck right off!

Random Musing #7 - Axle Surprises

Axle Whitehead's "I Don't Do Surprises" debuted at #8 this week on the ARIA chart - no small feat for a failed Australian Idol contestant best known for exposing his cock at an awards show! The title of the song is ironic because the quality of Axle's debut single has taken everyone by surprise. People keep describing "I Don't Do Surprises" as a Coldplay knock off but I'm not convinced. I would prefer to chew off my own limbs than listen to Chris Martin's pretentious wailings but I like Axle's anthem. It's soft and pretty and Axle looks HOT in the video. I wish he'd flash that meat in my direction! Check out Adem's brilliant interview with Axle and order your copy of "I Don't Do Surprises" here.

Pop Bits

It's time for another bitch about recent events in the wonderful world of pop! I'll start with some exciting news. Despite taking a decade off between her first and second studio albums, pop trash favourite Deni Hines somehow managed to record and release her third offering in a matter of months. "The Other Woman" is a huge change of pace for Deni. Australia's urban queen has reinvented herself as a jazz diva with the help of James Morrison and the results are sublime. "The Other Woman" was released yesterday. Autographed copies are available for a limited time from Chaos. Expect a full review in the near future!

My 2 Cents On 2 Hearts

By now everyone and their fag hag has commented on Kylie's comeback single but I thought I would throw in my two cents. Despite loathing the demo, I've fallen in love with "2 Hearts". Kish Mauve have crafted the musical equivalent of watching Hedwig & The Angry Inch on Valium. "2 Hearts" is a bit glam, a bit tragic and most probably quite profound - if I knew what the fuck was going on. While the song continues to grow on me with every listen (and I admire Kylie for having the balls to come back with something completely different), I still think "2 Hearts" is an abysmal choice for the first single. Kylie needed to come back with a bang - not with a song that leaves people scratching their head until the 23rd time they hear it. No wonder Parlophone are already lining up the second single. Expect "2 Hearts" to fall down the charts faster than Dannii's knickers in a dyke bar!

The song might be somewhat perplexing but the video for "2 Hearts" won me over immediately. It's tacky, slightly embarrassing and by far my favourite Kylie video since the masterpiece that is "Please Stay"! Here is my blow by blow review:

0.10 I wonder if Carol whipped out her Bedazzler to gay up Kylie's skull microphone.

0.15 Kylie looks nice in the dark.

0.25 Camping it up on a piano. Will Kylie start a trend for glow in the dark moon tans?

0.35 Kylie's channelling her character from The Delinquents with the peroxide blond hair and home perm. I like!

0.45 Girlfriend is looking mighty fine lying upside down on said piano.

0.50 Has Kylie hired Roxette to play her band in the video?

1.05 This video is cheaper than "Perfection" - and I swear that was filmed on Dannii's mobile phone!

1.20 Kylie looks like she's wearing my grandmother's house dress and clogs. Knicker flash! That's more like it.

1.25 Those shoes are foul.

1.40 Kylie looks like a pissed housewife at karaoke. I love this tacky shit!

1.50 Almost spilled my drink. Kylie's strut to the microphone in what appears to be a sequined wetsuit is FIERCE! Work it, bitch!

1.55 Kylie's cocked eyebrow of death! That microphone would look nice in my lounge room.

2.00 Having visions of Jem & The Holograms.

2.10 Shake that money maker!

2.15 Is that a man or a woman on guitar?

2.25 Glitter explosions and a jumping guitarist! Surely this is a piss take.

2.45 Kylie was made to straddle that amp. HOTNESS!

2.50 End

At least Kylie no longer has to worry about having egg on her face if "2 Hearts" misses the top spot in the UK. The Spice Girls are now releasing their own comeback single in the same week as Kylie and are overwhelming favourites for number 1. The slappers have also announced the tracklist for their upcoming Greatest Hits compilation. It looks pretty boring to me:

1. Wannabe
2. Say You'll Be There
3. 2 Become 1
4. Mama
5. Who Do You Think You Are
6. Move Over
7. Spice Up Your Life
8. Too Much
9. Stop
10. Viva Forever
11. Let Love Lead The Way
12. Holler
13. Headlines (Friendship Never Ends)
14. Voodoo
15. Goodbye

Got GBH?

It seems poor Jade Macrae was drugged when she hit the tiles on the gay scene last weekend. Happily, Jade managed to wring some publicity out of the experience in yesterday's Sydney Confidential:

7th Single

Pink is gearing up to release the 7th single from her 8 times platinum album "I'm Not Dead" in Australia. That might sound like overkill but 5 of those singles have hit the top ten and the album remains firmly entrenched in the top twenty 80 weeks after release! The new single, "Cuz I Can", isn't as shit as the title would suggest. But then again, I'm rather partial to songs about ice cream! Good for her. Pink isn't the only pop star who is continuing to flog a not so dead horse. Justin Timberlake is promoting the 6th single from "Future Sex/Love Sounds" - a frightful duet with Beyonce called "Until The End Of Time". I think Timbaland is starting to take the piss.

Note To Robyn

What's got into Robyn? The former queen of cool has remodelled herself as the poor man's Dannii Minogue. First she steals Dannii's favourite DJs to remix "Handle Me" and then blatantly rips off Dannii's "So Under Pressure" video - only without Dannii's lack of clothing and phallic snake. The new "Handle Me" video is piss poor. Robyn looks absolutely revolting and the concept is clearly derivative. It's a pity because the original "Handle Me" video is a masterpiece. Give me Robyn riding a bike through the hood in a red cocktail gown over this Boxing Helena tribute any day.

Dulta's Un-airbrushed Album Cover


Two Fabulous Divas

One of my favourite local divas, Brielle Davis, will be performing around Sydney this week. If you missed tonight's show at the Brass Monkey, you can still catch Brielle at The Harp Hotel next Saturday. Brielle's acoustic EP is available from her website. Congratulations are in order for Melinda Jackson on reaching #5 on the AIR (Independent) Chart with her poptastic anthem "Magic". Keep an eye out for Melinda's debut album, scheduled for release later this year.

On a personal note, I'd like to thank the people who dropped by our trashy forum. I knew it was going to be outrageous but even I wasn't expecting this!

Deni Hines - Album & Tour Details

I still can't believe that Deni Hines resides in glamorous Manly Vale (not to be confused with beach side Manly). Girlfriend must really be down on her luck to live in a suburb best known for its nursing homes and Liquorland. One benefit of living in the arsehole of Sydney is the constant attention Deni receives from the Manly Daily. Friday's edition was a veritable cornucopia of Deni goodness with an appearance on the front cover, a full page picture and an interview about her new jazz album. The project sounds fantastic and Deni's latest image transformation is absolutely stunning. I'm going to see Deni perform songs from the album at The Vanguard next week, so expect to read more about delicious Deni shortly!

She's Delicious!

I was completely overcome today when I learned that my homegirl Deni Hines is not only releasing a new album in October but also launching yet another tour. It seems Deni has hooked up with James Morrison to record a jazz album! It's not exactly my favourite musical genre but I'm sure Deni will convert me. Here's an excerpt from the press release:

THE OTHER WOMAN

No, it’s not a sour grapes tell all saga of infidelity more so the joining of two worlds and two minds, one voice one instrument.

World renown Jazz artist, James Morrison and leading Soul/RNB singer Deni Hines join forces for “THE OTHER WOMAN”. A 15 track duet album stacked with classics from Ella Fitzgerald, Billie Holiday, Nina Simone, Aretha Franklin and a stellar original of their own titled “The Other Woman”.

The very thought of Deni covering the likes of Ella, Billie and Nina has got me in a frenzy! Unfortunately, "The Other Woman" is still a couple of months away so I thought I would post some vintage Deni to tide us over. "Delicious" is one of the many random singles Deni released during her ten year drought between albums. I've decided to focus on "Delicious" due to the original's slightly jazzy feel and because it has the most stunning cover art I have ever seen.

"Delicious" exudes class with every beat. Deni's vocals are gorgeous and the production is delightful. The song is heavily influenced by 70s soul and wouldn't sound out of place on Deni's sublime "Water For Chocolate" album. Shamefully, I still can't help but be drawn to the trashy club mixes. It's a sickness! I have selected the intriguingly titled "Colour System Inc White Mix" for your listening pleasure.

"Delicious" is available on iTunes and can be found on all of Deni's greatest hits compilations. So who wants to be my date for the tour?!

The Deni Is My Neighbour!

I am living in relatively close proximity to greatness! I have been completely flustered since reading yesterday's local newspaper. Imagine my surprise when I stumbled across an article about Deni Hines tucked away between riveting exposes on council elections and school fundraisers. Picture my jaw dropping to the floor after reading the first five words - "Manly Vale singer Deni Hines"! All this time I have been living less than 15 minutes away from a national treasure and was completely oblivious! I'm terrified that I've walked past Deni without falling at her feet and declaring "Frenzy" the best song ever! Maybe I'll get the chance tomorrow night. As the article explains, Deni is performing a show for the bargain price of $20. I can't wait!

The article is pretty revealing. I think it's very brave of Deni to pour her earnings from "Dusty" into her own label. I guess that explains why there have been so many singles lifted from the album without a solitary hit. Good for her! I crowned "Water For Chocolate" my favourite album of 2006 and I stand by it. The album is a stunning achievement and deserves to be heard by everyone. I just hope it doesn't result in Deni becoming homeless in the not too distant future. If Marcia won't take her in, there's always room in my flat for the odd trashtastic diva! My favourite part of the interview is Deni stating that she's massive in Japan and could fill the Tokyo Dome. I'm not quite sure about that but I thought I would provide some evidence of Deni's Japanese stardom in the form of her Japan only single "Dream Your Dream", which is now quite rare. The song itself is a sweet and gentle anthem about doing your best and all of that uplifting crap. It's lovely!

Remember to purchase your copy of "Water For Chocolate" from Sanity, Chaos or iTunes. See you all at The Deni's concert extravaganza!

The Deni's Latest Single!

The Deni unleashed the third single from her phenomenal "Water For Chocolate" album this week. I'm yet to hear it on radio and I had to specifically order my copy, so I'm guessing "5 Days Of Rain" will suffer the same floptastic fate as the previous singles. Deni is about to embark on a long stretch of small gigs, which I hope will wake Australia up to the best homegrown urban album in years. To say that "Water For Chocolate" has been criminally ignored is something of an understatement.

If, like the rest of Australia, you are yet to explore Deni's new material, then this single is a great place to start. "5 Days Of Rain" is a hot little package, containing the radio and album versions of the title track, as well as fierce remixes of all Deni's recent singles, including her duet Marcia. It's a veritable mini greatest hits package! The highlight for me is the previously unavailable remix of "Son Of A Preacher Man", which is fucking fabulous. If Deni had promoted this version, I'm sure she would have actually scored herself a hit!

"5 Days Of Rain" is not my favourite tracks from the album but it is still an exceedingly good song. If Deni has the chance to release a 4th single, I'd love to see her choose "New Day", "Cut It Up" or "That's You". Any one of those would surely inject some life into Deni's career. Fingers crossed that "5 Days Of Rain" gains Deni's album some much deserved attention.

You can order "5 Days Of Rain" from Chaos or Sanity. Check out Deni's stylish Myspace for upcoming tour dates.