The Chief's Fisting Anthem

I guess I should be ashamed of liking Paul "The Chief" Harragon's craptastic cover of Spandau Ballet's "Gold" but I'm not. This kind of fabulous rubbish only comes along once every couple of years, so I'm savouring each glorious second of it. The song is pretty abysmal but it's better than I expected from an ex-footballer/host of Channel 9's Footy Show. The standard version is so bad it's good but I seriously love the fagtastic dance mixes on the CD single! Mike Felks, who recently remixed some tracks for Slinkee Minx, has transformed The Chief into a Hi-NRG dancefloor diva! The addition of the lyric "if you've got a hand and a fist, you're indestructible" ups the gay factor to an unprecedented level. The bizarre lyrics apparently relate to Paul's trademark hand gesture but all those fist references mean something else entirely in this part of town. Sit back and enjoy the year's first fisting anthem!

You can purchase this future darkroom classic from Chaos, Sanity and iTunes. Make sure to check out the glamorous video clip. Nothing gets me going like a butch footballer wearing mascara!

Ricki-Lee's Brand New Day

Any doubts surrounding Ricki-Lee's decision to leave Young Divas disappeared when "Can't Touch It" debuted at #2 on the Australian singles chart. With the album's brilliant first single an undisputed smash hit, "Brand New Day" swiftly became one of the year's most highly anticipated pop releases. With good reason, as it turns out. Ricki-Lee's second album shrewdly pitches her as Australia's answer to Christina Aguilera. Like Christina, Ricki-Lee has a huge voice and explores musical genres traditionally dominated by black artists. Unlike Christina, Ricki-Lee never forgets her pop roots. "Brand New Day" has a shiny veneer of urban credibility but Ricki-Lee's pop sensibility is never too far from the surface.

From the very first song, it's immediately apparent that "Brand New Day" is massive step forward from Ricki-Lee's debut album. The production is sharper, the songs are better and Ricki-Lee's voice has developed a gravelly edge that it previously lacked. The album kicks out with "Can't Sing A Different Song", a rollicking anthem that sounds like a cross between Christina Aguilera and Gwen Stefani. While "Can't Sing A Different Song" sits on the cutting edge of urban pop, the album's title track is a gorgeous soul pastiche which owes more to Stevie Wonder than Pharrell. The funky instrumentation and perky backing vocals make "Brand New Day" a sunny treat. One of my concerns for the album was that it might get bogged down with dreary ballads and vocal acrobatics. For the first half of the album, Ricki-Lee keeps the overwrought balladry to a minimum. "Melody Of Life" is one of the disc's best ballads. It showcases Ricki-Lee's exquisite voice without any false sentiment. The production is breathtaking with a gorgeous blend of instruments and orchestration.

The album's best song and a smash hit in waiting is a cover version of a Swedish pop tune. "Love Is All Around" was first sung by the winner of Swedish Idol, Agnes Carlsson. Her version was the standout track on an otherwise dismal album but was ultimately hampered by Agnes' reed thin voice and the overly clinical production. Ricki-Lee has breathed life into "Love Is All Around", transforming the song into warm and uplifting pop anthem. Some critics have likened "Love Is All Around" to Janet Jackson and there is more than a hint of "Together Again" in Ricki-Lee's version. I hope that Janet hears "Love Is All Around", remembers her glory days and decides to stop singing about her cunt. The quality of the tracks on "Brand New Day" is consistently excellent but "Love Is All Around" is spectacular and positively screams to be released as a single. The same can not be said for Ricki-Lee's reggae jam, "Real Good Time". The song is perfectly enjoyable but I don't think Ricki-Lee's future lies in Jamaican dance halls.

"Can't Touch It" deserves all the praise that has been lavished upon it. Ricki-Lee's party anthem will be heating up nightclubs for years to come with its killer beats and fierce lyrics. The pounding drums, hand claps and brassy vocals make "Can't Touch It" an instant Australian pop classic. One of the album's most appealing qualities is the bold mix of musical genres. The very modern sounding "Can't Touch It" is followed by "Take Me To A Place", an appealing anthem that wouldn't sound out of place on a Motown compilation. While the first seven tracks on "Brand New Day" are uniformly outstanding, the second half of the album loses some momentum. There's not a bad song to be found but "Brand New Day" becomes slightly bogged down in one too many mid-tempo grooves. "Alone No More" is beautifully sung but ultimately a rather standard ballad. "Clouds" breezily documents a case of writer's block, while "World Go By" recalls the days when Mariah Carey still made good music. Ricki-Lee's voice really is a sublime instrument.

The pace briefly picks up with the funky "It's Just Life". The throbbing beats are a welcome change after a string of slow jams. The song shares the same zen message as "Clouds" and "World Go By" but it has more bite. However, the five minute plus running time feels slightly excessive. The album's final song, "I Appreciate You", stands out from the other ballads with its beautiful strings and intimate subject matter - the song is a touching account of Ricki-Lee's relationship with her mother. "I Appreciate You" is a fitting conclusion to a very personal album. Ricki-Lee has obviously grown immensely as an artist and as a human being.

Final Verdict: Highly Recommended

Standout Tracks: "Can't Sing A Different Song", "Love Is All Around" and "Can't Touch It".

My Gripe: The hideous "Ricki-Lee as Enya" album cover.


"Brand New Day" can be purchased from Chaos, Sanity and iTunes. To find out more about Ricki-Lee check out her Myspace. Ricki-Lee also has a website but it doesn't appear to have been updated for a very LONG time!

Dannii's Lesbian Love Toy Speaks Out!

England's fabulous News Of The World newspaper has scored an exclusive interview with the stripper at the centre of Dannii's Lezzigate scandal. Classy Janine reveals how Dannii groped her breasts and was invited home for a threesome! Check out the article in full here.

A STRIPPER has spoken for the first time about the night she turned Kylie's little sister into Dannii MinOH-OH-OH-gue with some very dirty dancing.

Janine Marshall has broken her silence about the encounter at the Puss In Boots nightspot in London and told us: "Dannii devoured me during that dance like a ravenous tiger."

Janine, 24, revealed how 35-year-old Dannii:

BEGGED for the stripper's attention
GROPED her breasts and bum.
GAWPED as naked Janine put her privates on parade.

Dannii, now rating fresh singing talent with Simon Cowell on X Factor, gave Janine's performance a perfect 10. When she arrived at the club in September 2005 with her boyfriend and another couple, the Aussie star immediately singled out the stripper. Janine said: "She picked me for a private dance so I led them to a quiet corner in the VIP area and they settled into the sofas. Then I began my routine."

First the lapdancer concentrated on the guys in the party, but soon turned her attention to Dannii. "She was calling out for me, so I sauntered over and squeezed my breasts as I danced seductively in front of her," said Janine. "I've got a three-foot rule — I never go closer than that with clients. But with Dannii it was different. I pushed the boundaries more than I would with other clients because she's a woman and I felt safe."

Dannii's Lesbian Lover - Janine

She then moved on to the star's female pal. "I gyrated between her legs and that sent Dannii even wilder — she kicked her leg out in sheer excitement." When Janine started work on Dannii's boyfriend—who she's since split from—the singer was transfixed. "I kept my eyes locked on Dannii's the whole time I was dancing for him and she loved it. She was grinning like a Cheshire cat. I don't know if it turned her on seeing her man with another woman but she was totally cool with it."

Then Janine pushed her performance up a notch. "I teased down my skirt and was dancing in my panties and halter-neck bikini top, which I unknotted. "My boobs fell out of my top and I peeled off my knickers before stepping out of them." By then, all Janine was wearing was a pair of four-inch, glass-heeled stilettos. "Dannii admired me. She said, ‘Wow, look at that body.' I knew I looked fantastic. At one point she grabbed a curl of my hair and twiddled it around her finger. And she said, ‘You've got such sexy hair'.

"Then she whispered, ‘You're stunning, you're turning me on so much'."

Janine knew just how to turn up the heat even more. She grinned: "Table dancing is all about the tease, so one minute I was five feet from her and the next just one millimetre separated us. I leaned towards her with my face pressed against hers. Then I moved away. It was a case of, ‘Look at me, I'm beautiful, but you can't have me'."

But Dannii didn't have to wait long to get closer. Janine explained: "I moved nearer again, this time on my knees. "Dannii adored my boobs and couldn't believe they were natural, so she reached out and her fingers played with them gently. I kneeled and my hands glided up the side of her waist. She kept leaning forward to nestle her face in my breasts. I turned around to face a mirrored wall and as I arched my back my bottom pushed out towards Dannii," she recalled. "And it felt so sexy when she put her palms flat against my butt cheeks. I could see her through the mirror grinning at her boyfriend, like a cat that had got the cream."

Then, as if that wasn't enough, Janine gave an x-rated on-the-floor show.

"I laid on my back and gyrated my body against the carpet. Then I kneeled on the floor and leaned back on my heels. My arms were above my head and I could see Dannii getting a good view of everything. I was totally naked. She was flicking her hair like an excitable teenager as she gawped at me."

So Janine gave Dannii, who was lying flat on the sofa by that point, a closer inspection. She said: "I lifted her leg up towards me and clasped my fingers around her ankle. Then I used my lips to trace a line from her ankle to the middle part of her calf. It tickled her into a frenzy because Dannii couldn't stop moving— she was too turned on to sit still."

When the dance was over, Janine claims the star's boyfriend at the time then invited her to go home with them. "That's not the kind of girl that I am. I never went home with clients—men or women—and I wasn't about to start then." But Dannii booked the dancer to sit with them for a further hour and during that time the conversation centred on one thing — stripping.

"Dannii said she loved watching me dance naked and admitted she'd had pole dancing lessons herself," said Janine. "She said she enjoyed pole dancing and it made her feel sexy."

Janine, who has given up lapdancing and now runs a successful agency in west London, later gave her mobile number to the star after Dannii invited her to a fashion show that night.
But she never heard from her until February 2006, after the News of the World revealed the gob-smacking video footage. "She sent a message through a friend saying she hoped I was OK," said Janine, from south London. "It was nice of her to think of me." But Janine admits she was shocked and upset when the CCTV stills from her dalliance with Dannii became public.

"It hurt me that I was exploited but I'm running my own dance academy and teaching regular women the art of seduction and pole dancing. I've moved on with my life."

Check out Dannii's Dirty Box for more stunning Dannii news!

Brielle - SSO Interview, Album & Tour News

The local gay press is always a great read but this week's edition of the Sydney Star Observer is extra special. Cabaret legends, Kiki & Herb, appear on the front cover and there is a feature interview with one of my favourite divas, Brielle Davis. Brielle reveals details about her album, talks about her connection to the gay community and announces an upcoming gig at The Vanguard on September 9. I can't wait! Check out Sunny Burns' excellent article:

You can purchase tickets to Brielle's Vanguard gig here. The paper also mentions Holland's bear boyband, Bearforce 1. I was intrigued and slightly turned on by the prospect, so I decided to check them out.

I'm not sure what I expected but this tragifabulous pop gem exceeded all expections! Basically, their debut single is a megamix of 80s hits including Sabrina's "Boys" and Dead Or Alive's "You Spin Me Round". The video (below) is so fucking camp it makes The Village People seem butch in comparison! You can download Bearforce 1's materpiece from their website.

Roxane Is Sexy!

I thought I'd quickly post this before I run off to find some cut-off gloves for tonight's Samantha Fox concert! Roxane's debut solo single has been plagued with more drama than an entire season of "Bold & The Beautiful". "Sexy", a glorious slice of pop trash built around a throbbing sample of Salt 'N' Pepa's 80s classic "Push It", was almost scrapped when Sophie Monk performed the same song in a lingerie commercial. Sanity finally prevailed and Roxane's stunning anthem was released on Monday. All of the remixes are great but I've settled on the trashy Electro 7", although the House 7" is just as worthy. I know I've declared my love for "Sexy" several times already but I find it more fabulous with each listen.

You can purchase a copy of "Sexy" from Chaos, Sanity or iTunes. Don't forget to check out the amazing video clip.

Stop Press - Melissa Tkautz News!

I almost fell off my chair when I saw this article in Wednesday's Daily Telegraph. Melissa Tkautz and flesh eating zombies? As far as I'm concerned, "Dead Country" is now the most highly anticipated film in cinema history! I've been wondering how they could possibly weave Mel's cameo into the movie and I think I've come up with a likely scenario.

After being dumped by her heartless record label, Melissa sets off on a tour of regional RSL clubs funded by her premature ejaculation advertisement earnings. Only the tour is cancelled due to poor ticket sales and Mel finds herself wandering around the Victorian countryside in vinyl hotpants, begging for diuretics and botox injections. On the brink of exhaustion, Melissa stumbles into the nearest town on broken stilettos and finds a job in the local gay bar collecting glasses. Several months later, Melissa finally scrapes together enough money to catch the bus back to Sydney and decides to put on a farewell show for the local queens, inadvertently raising the dead with an acapella version of "Read My Lips".

No?

An Angel With An Attitude - Samantha Fox

Samantha Fox is the embodiment of everything I love about music and trash culture. I've worshipped Sam since first hearing "Touch Me" in the 80s, been amazed by her stunning urban makeover courtesy of Full Force in the 90s and joyfully observed her return to dance music. I've been meaning to write a post about the Fox since starting this Blog but how do you summarise the 20 year career of living legend in a couple of paragraphs? Sam's arrival in Australia to participate in the latest Countdown Spectacular tour has given me the push I needed. The very thought of being in the same venue as Samantha Fox and Sharon O'Neill has thrown me into a complete frenzy! I've spent the past few days watching Sam's clips on YouTube and listening to her 2005 album, "Angel With An Attitude", which has been given a belated Australian release to coincide with the tour.

Before I review the album, here are 6 reasons why I believe Samantha Fox deserves the same legendary status as Dannii, La Toya and Melissa Tkautz:

1. Sam's signature tune "Touch Me" is one of the best songs of the 1980s and contains the classic line "like a tramp in the night".
2. The Fox did the impossible and improved on Dusty Springfield's "I Only Wanna Be With You".
3. Stock/Aitken/Waterman were so impressed by Sam's stunning talent, they produced her brilliant 80s anthem "Nothing's Gonna Stop Me Now".
4. Samantha also hooked up with Full Force to record a string of fierce urban classics including the leather queen anthem "Hurt Me, Hurt Me (But The Pants Stay On)"!
5. Like any aging diva worth her weave, Samantha returned to dance music and had the good taste to cover Tatjana's "Santa Maria".
6. The Serbian town of Cacak recently erected a statue in Sam's honour!

Ok, now that I've got that out of my system, let's get back to "Angel With An Attitude"!

Samantha Fox made a brilliant return to the pop world in 2005 with her first new studio album in almost a decade. Unfortunately, "Angel With An Attitude" was only released in Canada and failed to generate much interest outside her loyal fanbase. After a two year wait, the album has finally been released in Australia and it holds up admirably as a bold and daring change of musical direction. The combination of rocky guitars and dance beats remains oddly seductive and the addition of "Touch Me 2007" is a trashy delight.

Lingerie in church!

"Angel With An Attitude" opens with the memorable title track, which is a microcosm of the entire album. A soft piano refrain gives way to moody electro beats before a raft of guitars kick in for the chorus. Samantha has thrown convention out the window. The eclectic mix of styles is occasionally clumsy but, for the majority of the album, very satisfying. "Angel With An Attitude" is also notable for its highly amusing video clip which finds Samantha strutting around a church in white lingerie! The title track is followed by a couple of more traditional pop songs. "To Be Heard" is a slickly produced electro anthem, while "Destined To Be" re-introduces the guitars for an epic slice of guitar pop with a sweet chorus. "I Give Myself To You" mixes both genres and throws in a bizarre array of computerised effects for good measure. The result feels slightly jumbled but is nothing less than intriguing.

If I had to select a favourite track from the album it would be "The Power". The song is an intricately constructed guitar-pop gem, which blends strings, piano and electro beats. I admire the originality of "The Power" and love Sam's hugely endearing inability to hit the high notes but its greatest appeal lies in its deeply personal nature. From the first line - "in the morning I put on my make-up, to hide the sadness deep inside" - it's clear that Samantha is singing from personal experience. "You And Me" continues the reflective mood by making reference to her homosexuality but ultimately lacks the charm of "The Power". "Threw Our Love Away" then introduces some Latin flavour into mix, while "Move On" is one of the album's best dance songs.

The tempo slows momentarily for "Breathe", a slightly disorientating trip-hop misadventure which meanders along for five bizarre minutes. Thankfully, Samantha returns to her fiery best for the awesomely trashy "Nice And Slow". It positively warmed my heart to hear Samantha sing about "nasty toys and dirty Polaroids"! This would have made a great single. The next song, "Cause An Effect", is the closest that Samantha has ever come to dabbling in metal. It's not particularly heavy but it does rock! "Cause An Effect" sounds like something Lita Ford recorded in the 1980s and I mean that as a compliment.

With Sam's outrageous image, it can be easy to overlook her amazing vocal talent. Samantha doesn't have a big voice but she does have a very sweet one and it is displayed to fine effect on the lush ballad "Dreams Unfold". "Time" was originally included as a bonus track on the Canadian release of "Angel With An Attitude" in 2005 and appears again on the Australian version. If you ignore the male vocalist, "Time" is a rather appealing electro jam with a distinct urban influence. The final track on "Angel With An Attitude" is yet another remix of "Touch Me". Santiago Cortes has crafted a brilliant update of Sam's enduring classic, which closes the album in great style.

"Angel With An Attitude" is highly recommended and can be purchased from Chaos, Sanity or iTunes. I've also noticed some very cheap copies on Australian Ebay.