Ricki-Lee, Jess & Paulini

I think it's time for a long overdue update on three of my favourite Australian Idol alumni. Jessica Mauboy, Ricki-Lee and Paulini have all been regulars on this blog over the years, were all members of Young Divas and all currently have new music out. Unfortunately, for Ricki-Lee and Paulini - that's where the similarities end. 2009 has been Jessica Mauboy's year. She's released a platinum album, scored five top 20 hit singles and somehow survived wearing the most unflattering outfit in ARIA history with her reputation still intact. I love Jess and think she has almost limitless potential but Sasha Fierce via Target is not the look! Anyway, Sony has squeezed out a 6th single from "Been Waiting" and it's one of the best so far. "Let Me Be Me" is a cute, mid-tempo urban pop tune written by long-time Kylie collaborator Karen Poole and new Sugababe Jade Ewen. I'm guessing it might have been intended for Jade at one point but it suits Jessica perfectly. The lyrics are sweet and the production (courtesy of The Deni's former righthand man 'Fingaz') is slick without being sterile. The video clip completely rips off Beyoncé's "Halo" but Jess has never looked lovelier. I wouldn't be surprised if this is yet another top 20 hit.

At the other end of the success spectrum is Paulini, who was dropped by her record label and reduced to appearing in tragic gay clubs across the nation. It's a shame because I honestly believe Paulini has the best voice to come out of Australian Idol. She just hasn't had a lot of luck selecting appropriate material or marketing herself as a pop star. Unfortunately, I don't think her latest release is much of an improvement on either front. "Scarless" is a beautifully performed ballad and showcases her glorious pipes but it doesn't exactly scream hit. I know it was released independently to raise money for victims of domestic violence but it would be great to hear Paulini belt out another upbeat pop tune ("Rough Day" or "Last Love") or an urban club banger like the fabulous "So Over You". The proceeds of "Scarless" go to charity, so download it from iTunes. The film clip is a surprisingly classy affair and deserves a look. Fingers crossed that this is the start of a full blown comeback next year.

Last but not least is Ricki-Lee. There was a time when I was completely obsessed with Ricki. I loved her second album and wrote about her every other week on Pop Trash Addicts. However, my interest has really waned this year. Returning to Australian Idol as a host was embarrassing, "Don't Miss You" left me cold and her turn as a Ralph cover girl reeked of desperation. It got so bad that I didn't even bother checking out her latest track until the physical single (above) arrived in the post. Imagine my surprise when I gave it a spin and realised that it was actually a stunning return to form. "Hear No, See No, Speak No" sounds like a cross between Ke$ha and Katy Perry. It's an effortlessly catchy serve of electro dance-pop with lashings of guitar to keep things interesting. The production is top notch and Ricki-Lee tears up the vocal. Disappointingly, the song is shaping up to be the biggest flop of the diva's career - stalling at a lowly #46 thus far. I blame the hilarious dominatrix video (below). Ricki needs to save the leather corset and riding crop for her home movies! "Hear No, See No, Speak No" is a future trash classic. I just wish there were remixes.

The Holly Van

After taking a 6 year hiatus to pursue acting, which included playing a corpse on CSI and a Russian stripper on Prison Break, Holly Valance is busily planning her return to the music scene. The former Neighbours star recently revealed that she's working on songs with Frankmusik for her third album and I couldn't be any more excited. Holly always stood out from the other pop zombies. For better or worse, usually the latter, she spoke her mind and refused to play by the rules. This is a woman who basically killed her own career by calling the British public "bitter and twisted" (during a UK promotional tour no less!) and was told off by a Judge for excessive publicity whoring. The amusing list of anecdotes goes on but there's one I can't help but mention - the tragic case of the Holly Van!

Whenever I think about Holly, my mind instantly races to a Christina Aguilera concert in December 2003. It was Christina's first visit to Australia and a huge crowd was starting to build outside the Entertainment Centre. Just as we were getting ready to go inside, someone started playing "State Of Mind" at near deafening volume. I half expected to find a demented fan with a boombox but was surprised to discover the music coming from a van covered in Holly Valance posters, which had just pulled up outside the venue. Using a vehicle to promote an artist is hardly out of the ordinary (Flo Rida's record company recently hired a tank to drive around Sydney blasting songs from his latest album) but actually crashing another diva's concert has to be a first! Naturally, I was drawn to the Holly Van like a rat to the Pied Piper and struck up a conversation with one of the promoters who was trying to give away merchandise to disinterested Christina fans. I think I got a couple of posters but the most fabulous gift was a model replica of the van itself - pictured above on my computer. It remains one of my favourite pieces of music memorabilia, perfectly summing up the sad desperation of Holly Valance circa 2003.

The depressing thing is that Holly really had no reason to be sad or desperate. I personally thought her debut album was a hideous trainwreck but I've been singing the praises of "State Of Mind" to anyone who will listen for years. In my opinion, it's one of the great pop albums of the noughties, right up there with "Neon Nights" and "Fever". "State Of Mind" was also a hugely influential album, not that anyone will admit it. Holly was the first commercial pop star to mix electro into her pop - years before Lady GaGa and Robyn got around to it. In fact, it's quite startling how fresh the album still sounds. The magnificent lead single wouldn't be out of place on radio today, while the stunning video (below) is still a million times hotter than anything Britney has ever come up with. That Ramones singlet is THE SEX!

The rest of "State Of Mind" is just as impressive. Jeff and Mark Taylor (Metro) contribute the dark and brooding "Desire", which was originally slated as the second single before the project was scrapped. Kylie's favourite collaborator, Steve Anderson, delivers the goods on "Hypnotic" and "Curious" but really strikes gold on the incredibly fierce "Roll Over". I'm not surprised that Holly has a writing credit on the track. It's got her mouthy attitude stamped all over it. Chris and Drew Peters (Electric Six) are the biggest surprise. I can't believe these guys haven't been snapped up by every pop tart on the block. They contribute the sublime "Everything I Hate" and fiery "Tongue Tied" as well as my favourite song on the entire album - the gorgeous "Ricochets", which displays a softness and subtlety that I would have thought beyond Holly.

With any luck, "State Of Mind" will be re-visited and re-evaluated by pop fans if her comeback is a success. I just hope the Holly Van stays locked in the garage!

Ricki-Lee's UK Makeover From Hell

Ricki-Lee's amazing "Can't Touch It" has been butchered, almost beyond recognition, for its UK release on the 9th of June. Not only has the song been given the dubious new title "U Wanna Little Of This", it's been remixed into an unremarkable dance bore. Don't get me wrong, this kind of shit usually has me salivating but "Can't Touch It" is such a perfect pop song that this kind of treatment feels completely sacrilegious. Everything I love about the original is gone. The fabulous rolling drum beats, the quirky pop production and the subtle R'n'B flavour have all been ditched in favour of thudding dance beats and a cut and paste chorus. I would probably be singing the praises of "U Wanna Little Of This" if it were a remix but as the version being promoted to UK radio, it just doesn't cut it. It's such a shame because the original version has huge hit potential. "Can't Touch It" is perfect pop. The song is fresh, original and utterly infectious. "U Wanna Little Of This", on the other hand, sounds like a Booty Luv B-side. That's not a bad thing as such but Ricki-Lee deserves better than this. Decide which version you prefer, the new and unimproved version above or the original version below.

Tina Arena Goes Disco!

It's been a busy couple of weeks for Tina Arena. First came the surprise announcement that she will host the UK auditions of Australian Idol with Darren Hayes (I can't wait to see Tina back on Australian TV but can someone please explain why we need UK auditions?) and the news that her magnificent "Songs Of Love & Loss" album is being re-released on the 21st of April complete with a bonus disc of live performances. However, the most exciting Tina development as far as I'm concerned is her brilliant cover of the Bee Gees' "Night Fever" for a French film soundtrack.

"Night Fever" is perfect fodder for this woman's formidable pipes and she delivers a stunning interpretation. I love Tina's recent output but it's fantastic to see her in a less serious mood. Watching Tina perform the song on a French TV show (below) gave me flashbacks to the glory days of Young Talent Time! The camp sequined costumes, the obvious miming (Edit: I'm told this was actually performed live. All I can say is - WOW!!), the hilarious dance routine - the only thing missing is Johnny Young! As far as I'm aware there are no plans to release "Night Fever" as a French single but that shouldn't stop her Australian label snapping this disco delight up as fast as they can. Tina hasn't produced anything this fabulously entertaining since the trashy "Symphony Of Life" remixes and it should be made available to legally download by her legion of loyal fans!

Buy A Piece Of Courtney Act!

Courtney Act is an Australian pop trash icon, so I was more than a little chuffed when she dropped by to leave a comment about my recent Kylie post. It was also something of a coincidence because I had been meaning to write about this fabulous diva for some time. Courtney shot to prominence in the first season of Australian Idol, bringing her own unique brand of dragtastic fabulousness to the masses. It's safe to say that nothing this entertaining has graced Australian Idol since Courtney's departure! Despite being eliminated in the wildcard round by the narrowest of margins, I believe Ms Act was the first Idol star to be signed by Sony Australia and was the only non-finalist invited to join the inaugural Australian Idol tour, where she memorably performed "Kids" with Rob Mills. Kylie would be proud!

Shortly after, Courtney's released her stunning debut single "Rub Me Wrong", which became a top 30 hit and an instant scene classic. The original version is great but the remixes are heavenly. The video was also a spectacular affair. Similar in theme to Kylie's "On A Night Like This", sexy Courtney is escorted to a mansion where she dances for an old pervert. At least she doesn't end up in the pool like poor Kylie! Since parting ways with Sony, Courtney has become an Oxford St icon - performing drag shows and hosting parties as well as staging the fantastic one woman show "Boys Like Me" (her jazzy Spice Girls' cover is particularly fabulous).

Courtney as Amy Winehouse

In exciting news for long suffering "Rub Me Wrong" fans, Courtney recently announced that she is returning to the recording studio and, in an ingenious marketing ploy, is selling pieces of herself to help her finance it! Well not literally but for the bargain price of $10 (AUD) you get to own a piece of the digital mosaic on Courtney's website on which you get to write a personal message. The $10 also buys you an autographed, limited edition copy of the proposed EP as well as a digital copy of the single (postage is included in the $10 and that also goes for international buyers). Most importantly, however, you get the satisfaction of helping a truly unique talent create fantastic music outside the restraints of a record company. Courtney is one of the hardest working local divas in the business and she deserves our support.

To buy a piece of Courtney Act, simply click here and the follow the instructions. Basically, you select the piece of Courtney's face that you wish to purchase (I'm the proud owner of a small plot on her right cheek!) and a yellow square will appear on the box. All you have to do after that is click "Pay for selected blocks", submit your details and complete the purchase via Paypal. There is a money back guarantee in the event that the EP is not completed - so what have you got to lose?! I can't wait to hear what Courtney comes up with. In the meantime, check out the brilliant "Rub Me Wrong" video clip (below). They certainly don't make 'em like that anymore!

Can't Sing A Different Song

Pop trash favourite Ricki-Lee releases the third single from her fabulous "Brand New Day" album on Saturday. Ms Coulter took her career to a whole new level in 2007, scoring top 5 hits with "Can't Touch It" and "Love Is All Around". It was always going to be hard to live up to flawless pop of that calibre but "Can't Sing A Different Song" comes very close. After the pure pop detour of "Love Is All Around", Ricki-Lee returns to her soulful roots with "Can't Sing A Different Song". Similar in sound to "Can't Touch It", the track is another expertly produced call to the dancefloor showcasing Ricki-Lee's powerhouse vocals. It's not as instant as the previous singles from "Brand New Day" but it is a grower and has a contemporary edge missing from a lot of homegrown pop.

The video for "Can't Sing A Different Song" (below) is a typically classy affair that finds our favourite diva wandering around a carpark with some very dodgy dancers. It's a lot of fun and Ricki-Lee looks amazing. I'm sick of the fat jibes - the woman is smokin' hot! If you need any further proof watch this amazing clip of Ricki-Lee singing "Summer Nights" with some has-been tennis player on "It Takes Two". Now that's quality viewing! Hopefully "Can't Sing A Different Song" will be another substantial hit. I'm yet to hear it on the radio but Ricki-Lee's current tour should give it a boost. Remember to buy or download your copy this Saturday!

The Week In Pop!

It's time for another rundown of recent events in the Aussie pop world. By far the biggest revelation of the past week (if not the past century) is news that Melissa Tkautz is kicking off her 37th comeback with a new single to be released on the 10th of March! I mentioned the rumours regarding Mel's comeback in my recent Cherry post and for a change, the whispers turned out to be correct. Melissa's comeback single is indeed a cover of Transvision Vamp's "I Want Your Love"! The sure to be amazing anthem is credited to Nick Skitz featuring the sublime Ms Tkautz, which is a rather clever way of marketing this fabulous diva to the club scene. Pre-order your copy here. "I Want Your Love" is going to be a hit if I have to steal several hundred copies from JB Hi-Fi myself!

Melissa Tkautz isn't the only pop icon embarking on an impressive comeback. Michael Jackson's 25th Anniversary edition of "Thriller" was released in Australia yesterday. I've expressed my reservations about "Thriller 25" in the past but the final product is surprisingly good. Expect a full review soon. The album's first single, "Wanna Be Startin' Somethin' 2008", climbs to #8 on the singles chart - giving Michael his first top ten hit in Australia since "You Rock My World" debuted at #4 in 2001. In another interesting development, the original "Thriller" re-enters the album chart this week at #44. Could we be on the brink of another breakout of Jackson mania? La Toya needs to gets her shit together ASAP!

Speaking of fabulous plastic surgery addicts, Fergie has another smash hit on her hands as the 6th single from "The Dutchess" storms into the Australian top 30. I can't get enough of "Here I Come". It's another so horrible it's genius effort that somehow manages to work a reference to Fergie's humps into a butchered Motown classic. As far as I'm concerned this amazing diva can do no wrong! I just wish they would hurry up and release the physical single. Other American divas releasing new material in Australia include Mandy Moore and Jordin Sparks. Mandy Moore's lovely 2007 album "Wild Hope" has been picked up by a local distributor to coincide with her upcoming tour with Kelly Clarkson. "Wild Hope" is released on the 25th of February and can be pre-ordered here. Speaking of Kelly, it's bad enough that heffer releases her rubbish in Australia but what have we done to deserve her dreary American Idol alumni Jordin Sparks? "Tattoo" is the worst single I've heard from the entire AI franchise - and that includes William Hung's offerings! Sadomasochists can buy Jordin's snoozefest from the 10th of March.

From American Idol to Australian Idol, The Sunday Telegraph reports that Carl Riseley (above) has been signed to Universal Australia. Carl is basically a Michael Buble tribute act but still managed to place 3rd in the most recent season of Australian Idol. His album is said to contain swing covers of "We've Only Just Begun" and "The Letter". I think I'll pass. In more depressing news, the article also reveals that Dulta's fiance, Brian McFadden, has also signed a local deal. I guess Dulta really was the kiss of death for his UK career. Speaking of the dull one, "You Will Only Break My Heart" has been announced as the third single from her shiteous album.

A vastly more appealing local diva is Vanessa Amorosi. I really wanted to like her comeback single, "Kiss Your Mama", but I just couldn't get into it. The second single "Perfect", however, looks rather more like my cup of tea if Vanessa's new look (above) is any indication! Someone who knows all about (slightly more flattering) makeovers is Kylie. Rob expertly recaps the latest Minogue developments on Don't Stop The Pop. I agree with everything except the criticism of Kylie's venture into the world of bed linen. Am I the only one who doesn't give a fuck what she does outside of music? Kylie can flog Vagasil and dental dams for all I care! If she's having fun and making money, good luck to her. However, I totally share Rob's excitement for "All I See" being considered for release in Canada. It's still my favourite track from "X". Meanwhile, the current Australian single will be released on Saturday. Pre-order your copy of "Wow" here and check out the fabulous film clip. The behind the scenes footage (below) gave me a whole new appreciation for time, effort and fabulousness involved in making the video.

Life According To Marcia Hines

Marcia Hines is one of my all time favourite singers. I've worshipped Marcia for as long as I can remember and recently named her one of my top 10 pop trash divas. Naturally, I was rather excited when my signed copy of Marcia's new album, "Life", arrived in the post yesterday. Marcia's last album was THE trashy pop moment of 2006 and I expected this collection of covers to have a similar flavour. It's something of an understatement to say that I was wrong. "Discotheque" had the humble goal of getting you on the dancefloor. "Life", however, boldly aspires to be the musical equivalent of a self-help book. It even comes with a booklet of life lessons penned by Marcia herself! Putting the CD into my stereo, I expected the worst but "Life" is a spiritual experience. I decided to put my cynicism aside for an hour and immerse myself in the Marcia Hines guide to happiness and enlightenment.

Preface - Listen

"Life" works on two separate levels. There is a written booklet with Marcia's words of wisdom and an accompanying song on the album. Marcia's musical self-help book kicks off with "Listen", a bizarre one minute intro that involves a lot of chanting. In the booklet, Marcia introduces the album by setting out her life philosophy ("I allow my spirit to create my imagination") and describes the album as a celebration of "love, loss, family, friends, strength and survival". So far, so good!

Chapter 1 - No Need To Fear

"Everybody Hurts" has to be one of the most grating songs ever recorded. REM's original makes me gag and I didn't expect much from Marcia's version. Therefore, it came as a massive surprise that the track not only works, it sounds rather lovely. Marcia writes "if we weren't meant to cry, we wouldn't have tear ducts" and recounts her battle with diabetes. I'm beginning to feel strangely emotional.

Chapter 2 - Mr And Mrs Each Day

The album continues with an astonishingly beautiful cover of Lisa Stansfield's "All Woman". Few songs written after 1970 capture as much soul as Lisa's modern classic and Marcia does the song proud with one of her finest vocal performances. Marcia singing "I may not be a classy lady but I'm all woman" gives me chills. A definite album highlight. Marcia writes "one man's trash is another man's treasure". Amen, sister! Marcia also notes that she's been married 4 times and engaged another two times.

Chapter 3 - The Path We Walk

The world doesn't need another cover of John Lennon's "Imagine" as Madonna aptly proved with her horrendous rendition. Marcia's beautiful voice does the song more justice but the choir backing is too over the top - even for me! "Some days are diamonds, some stone" muses Marcia in the booklet before describing being visited by spirits as a child. I'm serious!

Chapter 4 - No Matter What

Oleta Adams' "Get Here" is one of my all time favourite songs and its message of determination is the perfect choice to illustrate Marcia's lesson about overcoming the obstacles to love. This is a near perfect cover version, exquisitely produced and expertly performed. Marcia advises "if you inhale love, you will exhale love". I'm starting to get misty eyed again.

Chapter 5 - Unrequited Love

Marcia covers Toni Braxton and hilarity ensues. "Breathe Again" stands out from other 90s R'n'B ballads due to Toni's unusually deep vocal register and Babyface's deft production. Marcia's interpretation is too restrained. "Breathe Again" is a song for desperate lovesick whores, not classy ladies like Ms Hines. One of the album's few missteps. However, Marcia's advice is as admirable as ever, stating "you don't always get the relationship you want, you sometimes get the relationship you deserve". I must have done something bad in a past life to deserve the cast of clowns that I've dated!

Chapter 6 - Making Your Own Way

One of the highlights of "Life" is Marcia's version of "God Bless The Child". The song choice is particularly interesting because Marcia's superstar daughter covered Billie Holiday's classic on her recent "The Other Woman" album. Who wins the battle of the Hines? I'd have to give it to Deni's understated effort but this is fabulous too. Marcia writes "pick your mark, strike your pose and go for it!" Fierce! This chapter of the booklet is by far the most revealing. Marcia comments on bringing up Deni, addresses the criticism that has been directed at her judging style on Australian Idol and even takes Dicko to task on his treatment of Paulini for wearing that gold dress. Fascinating!

Chapter 7 - Through Thick And Thin

Few modern songs have been covered as often as The Pretenders' "I'll Stand By You". Most of them are god awful (the Girls Aloud abomination, for example) but Marcia's version gets it right. This is a lighter in the air anthem of the highest order. Marcia devotes this chapter to the importance of friendship, describing friends as "angels" and "treasure chests". Fabulously, Marcia manages to throw in a sly reference to her induction to the ARIA Hall Of Fame. By this stage, I had come to realise that Marcia speaks the truth and find myself well and truly under her spell.

Chapter 8 - The Inner Beauty Shining

Removing my tongue from my cheek for a minute, chapter 8 is truly inspiring. Marcia says "treasure the darkness and look towards the light" before commenting on her friendship with the recently deceased Belinda Emmett. The message couldn't be more beautiful but I'm not sure how Marcia's raunchy interpretation of Aretha's "You Make Me Feel Like A Natural Woman" is representative of it! I really hope Marcia's next album is a collection of soul covers. She breathes new life into this classic.

Chapter 9 - Leaving To Live

Marcia turns her attention to The Beatles with an inspired cover of "She's Leaving Home". This is perhaps the most adventurous song on the album. The production is intricate and really quite eccentric. "She's Leaving Home" is really quite epic. Marcia writes about Deni moving out of home and touchingly recounts sitting in Deni's empty room, wondering how "the years had passed so quickly". Awwww!

Chapter 10 - Words Unspoken

Mike & The Mechanics took "The Living Years" to number one in Australia in May 1989. I was too young to fully understand the lyrics at the time but I always found the song strangely confronting. As such, it's a perfect choice for Marcia's most confronting lesson - coping with death. Marcia recalls both her father's death and her brother's suicide. This is a heavy chapter but Marcia's direct approach is comforting.

Chapter 11 - Sex The Drug

From death to sex, Marcia's walk through the pitfalls and joys of life is nothing if not comprehensive. I have to say, reading Marcia's views on sex is the equivalent of watching porn with your parents (or so I imagine)! However, I was greatly amused by Marcia's reminder that sex isn't "just for the young folks" and her very rational advice of consulting a tarot reader when you have a new suitor! Marcia's sexual adventure is accompanied by a delightful cover of Sade's "No Ordinary Love". Hot!

Chapter 12 - Empty Hearts And Empty Rooms

The penultimate song in Marcia's musical self-help book is a cover of Dionne Warwick's "A House Is Not A Home". This gorgeous seven minute opus is the soundtrack to Marcia's chapter on forgiveness and saying sorry. I love the original track and Marcia's version is suitably bittersweet. A treat.

Conclusion - I Am

Don't faint but Marcia has actually included an original song to end the album - one that she even wrote herself! "I Am" is more of poem or prayer set to music but it's gospel tone sits well with the other tracks and brings the album to an inspiring conclusion. Marcia really needs to record more original material if this is any indication of what she is capable of as a songwriter. Outstanding!

It would be easy to put on my "bitchy queen" hat and tear "Life" to shreds. I'm sure that would make for an amusing post but it would also be a cop out. Marcia wears her heart on her sleeve and communicates with such overwhelming sincerity that I can't help but be moved - often against my better judgement. "Life" is the musical equivalent of a Hallmark card. It's unbelievably corny, has nothing new to say and more often than not makes you cringe with embarrassment but at the same time there is a kernel of truth to the message and you're glad that somebody took the time to send it to you. It goes without saying that cynics need not apply. If, like me, you cry at long distance telephone commercials and get slightly hysterical at weddings and other major celebrations, then Marcia's homespun wisdom comes highly recommended! You can order a signed copy of "Life" from JB Hi-Fi. I strongly advise against downloading "Life", you really need the booklet to appreciate Marcia's spiritual message!

The Gayest Album Ever?

I honestly thought the Young Divas' debut album was the gayest thing I had ever heard. An endearing collection of camp pop classics ("Gloria", "Woman In Love", "What A Feeling" etc), the album struck a chord with homosexuals and bored housewives across Australia and became an unexpected double platinum smash hit. Twelve months have passed since then and the band has undergone some cosmetic changes. Ricki-Lee Coulter left the band to pursue a solo career and was replaced by last year's Australian Idol runner up, Jessica Mauboy. The line up might be different but end product is very much the same. The girls have delivered another fabulous album of reworked gay classics. The critics will deride their lack of development and credibility but I applaud the young divas for serving up another feast of the low brow magic. The rest of the world can have Girls Aloud and the Sugababes, I'm more than satisfied with our local superstar girlband! Here is my track by track review:

Got To Be Real - 9/10

Few songs make you want to get up and dance more than Cheryl Lynn's "Got To Be Real". As such, Cheryl's much loved disco classic is the perfect opening track for "New Attitude". The divas make it blindingly obvious from the very first song that the album's one and only objective is to get you out of your seat and "Got To Be Real" conveys that message in great style. Disco purists will be horrified by the trashy rap but I think it works wonderfully. It's complete inappropriateness renders the song even more camp if that is even possible.

If I Can't Have You - 8/10

The nod to disco continues with a dashing and surprisingly faithful cover of Yvonne Elliman's "If I Can't Have You". The song is a welcome blast of pure pop but the girls bring nothing new to the track. In fact, their version is virtually interchangeable with Kim Wilde's 1993 version - only with better vocals. Expect this to be a party favourite over the Christmas season.

Turn Me Loose (Ft. Savage) - 9/10

The first single from the album is a sublime dance cover of Loverboy's "Turn Me Loose". It will be interesting to see how the song performs on the charts but download sales have been promising. "Turn Me Loose" is the divas' biggest concession to current music trends with its slight urban edge and hilarious rap. It might sound like a mess but "Turn Me Loose" works surprisingly well. The vocal performance is particularly impressive.

I Can't Wait - 10/10

The Young Divas pillaging Stevie Nicks' back catalogue should be wrong in so many ways but "I Can't Wait" is a blistering work of pop brilliance. Stevie's original is one of my favourite songs. The inspired mix of guitars and synths was so far ahead of its time that a modern remake feels almost appropriate. I'm not sure what Stevie would make of this version but I love it. "I Can't Wait" works remarkably well as a dancefloor anthem and the surprisingly sleek production distinguishes the track from the rest of the album. Exquisite!

Jump (For My Love) - 9/10

Just when you think "New Attitude" couldn't possibly get any gayer, the divas ramp up the camp factor with a fabulous cover of The Pointer Sisters "Jump (For My Love)". It's hard to destroy pop as perfect as this but it is possible as Girls Aloud proved with their lifeless destruction of the track. Thankfully, the Young Divas show this classic the respect it deserves and serve up a glorious slice of trashy fun.

Love Will Lead You Back - 8/10

I still can't believe that the girls cover Taylor Dayne twice on the one album. That fact alone should be enough to convince most gays to buy "New Attitude". The first Taylor Dayne interpretation is "Love Will Lead You Back". As the only ballad on an album of upbeat dance anthems, "Love Will Lead You Back" makes a welcome change of pace and allows the girls to show off their big voices. Taylor would be proud.

Chain Reaction - 10/10

After a short romantic breather, the divas return to their bread and butter. A camp as tits cover of a gay classic. This time around the lovely ladies give Diana's "Chain Reaction" a makeover and deliver one of the album's highlights. After hearing Steps' abysmal cover I always thought "Chain Reaction" was one of those songs that shouldn't be fucked with. I'm happy that the divas have proved me wrong. Absolutely epic.

New Attitude - 10/10

The title track is a delicious cover of my favourite Patti LaBelle song. "New Attitude" was fierce in 1985 and the song is still a knockout more than 20 years later due to some snappy production and inspired vocal performances by all four divas. I hope this irresistible call to the dancefloor is considered for a single release at some stage.

I'm So Excited - 8/10

Few songs recall the 80s quite like The Pointer Sisters' "I'm So Excited". The original is one of my all time favourites and the Young Divas show the song the respect it deserves. However, I can't help but feel some of the original's magic has been lost in the manic production of the divafied version. Not as good as their version of "Jump" but still a treat.

Tell It To My Heart - 10/10

I have a feeling someone in the Young Divas camp is a massive fan of Kelly Llorenna. Firstly the ladies follow in Kelly's footsteps by covering "This Time I Know It's For Real" on their first album and now update another classic that has previously received the Llorenna treatment. Taylor Dayne's "Tell It To My Heart" obviously lends itself to trashy club queens with big voices and the Divas turn in a stunning performance that will have Kelly and Taylor scratching their weaves in astonishment. This is a blast of pure poptastic fun and hopefully a future single.

Dear Santa (Bring Me A Man This Christmas) - 10/10

The Young Divas meet The Weather Girls and campy brilliance ensues. The Weather Girls' "Dear Santa" is the gayest Christmas carol ever recorded and it somehow feels appropriate that the torch has been passed to the Young Divas. Fuck "Silent Night", "Dear Santa" will be pumping out my stereo this holiday season.

There's nothing new about the Young Divas' attitude on their second album. Considerably more money has been spent on the production and artwork (I LOVE the cover!) but the formula hasn't changed a bit. The songs are still all cover versions of much loved pop classics. Some might call the album artless. I call it smart - and fucking entertaining! "New Attitude" is released on November 26 and belongs in every poof's collection. Pre-order your copy from Chaos, Sanity or iTunes.

Cosima - This Is Now

The music industry can be a cruel place. A couple of years ago, Cosima was sitting close to the top of the heap. After placing 3rd on the first season of Australian Idol, Cosima scored a multi-platinum #1 hit and a gold selling debut album. Cut to 2007 and Cosima's second album, "This Is Now", misses the top 100 altogether. The irony is that Cosima has lifted her game. Words can not describe the sheer terror that 2004's "Cosima" induces. A collection of overwrought Diane Warren penned ballads, the album is almost criminally mundane. I wouldn't have even bothered listening to "This Is Now" if the first single hadn't turned out to be completely fabulous against all expectations. There's nothing as brilliant as "Keep It Natural" on the album but it is a massive improvement on her first offering and deserved to fare much better than it did. I blame the hideous cover. Here's a track by track rundown.


Keep It Natural - 9.5/10

I couldn't believe my ears when I first heard the Taylor Square remix of "Keep It Natural" in a club. Cosima not only proved that she could do more than belt out a power ballad, she managed to completely reinvent herself as a club diva. I'm still surprised by how well the new sound complements Cosima's big voice. Everything about "Keep It Natural" is excellent, from the production to the vocals and lyrics. It's a shame the Taylor Square remix isn't included on the album but this version is still high quality pop, if not quite as breathtaking.

Movin' On - 7/10

The second single from "This Is Now" is a fairly traditional break-up song. I have a feeling that this was meant to be the modern day answer to "I Will Survive" but it falls well short. That's not to say that it's not a good pop song. "Movin' On" is 4 minutes of highly enjoyable fluff. It's just not the anthem it needed to be. Cosima's voice sounds great and I like the chorus but the production is uninspired and the song is missing a hook. The Taylor Square remix from the CD single is also, surprisingly, something of a let down.

I Deserve Better Than That - 7.5/10

I ache for shit like "I Deserve Better Than That". Of all the tragic urban makeovers I can think of, this is possibly the least convincing. Cosima's ghetto groove makes "Red Blooded Woman" sound like a cut from "Straight Outta Compton". The song lacks all credibility but "I Deserve Better Than That" is not without charm. In fact, if you put Cosima's prim image to one side, the song is a lot of fun and proves yet again that the lady is at least trying to change things up. I like it - a lot!

I'm Free - 3/10

The old Cosima raises her ugly head. "I'm Free" is a dull, mid-tempo ballad with a hugely dated latin influence. My mum would probably love it but I'll give this crap a miss. The flamenco guitar is pleasant enough but "I'm Free" sounds at least a decade out of date.

Take Me Back Home - 8/10

I love a soppy ballad as much as the next fag, particularly one as understated and delicate as "Take Me Back Home". Cosima's greatest asset is her big voice (lord knows she can't rely on her charisma) but also her Achilles heal. Like most divas with powerful pipes, Cosima has a tendency to bludgeon the emotion out of a song by oversinging it. Thankfully, there is no sign of that here. Cosima has reigned her voice in and, ironically, has never sounded better. "Take Me Back Home" is unusually crisp and delicate. In fact, the song's simplicity reflects a country music influence. The result is one of the year's most charming and accomplished ballads.

I Forgive You Not - 6.5/10

You have to give the woman points for trying. 6 songs into the album and Cosima has already dabbled in 6 different musical genres. "I Forgive You Not" is Cosima's attempt to jump on the Kelly Clarkson rock/pop bandwagon and it's a pleasant, if somewhat generic and manufactured change of pace. I gave the song an extra half point for the dramatic "not" which ends the song!

Never Be A Woman In Chains - 5.5/10

"This Is Now" really is a mixed bag. Cosima's plan to demonstrate her versatility is commendable but it doesn't make for the most coherent album. "Never Be A Woman In Chains" begins like a rock anthem before sliding into a fairly innocuous girl power territory. Cosima's voice sounds great but the song sounds like something Tina Arena recorded in 1993. That's not a bad thing by any means but Cosima can do better.

So Alive - 6/10

Another ballad. "So Alive" is rather more overwrought than "Take Me Back Home" but it's strangely comforting to hear some old school Cosima. The opening piano line is lovely but the production soon becomes unnecessarily overbearing. Nevertheless, "So Alive" is a well crafted power ballad and Cosima's vocal gymnastics will have Celine Dion fans dripping.

Left Watching - 4.5/10

This really is an odd, little album. "Left Watching" begins with a guitar riff and dodgy lyrics about about Cosima wanting to keep her man before launching into a rather dreary mid-tempo chorus. It's still the early 90s in Cosima's world. "Left Watching" is a mess of styles, all of which are at least a decade past their used by date. No thanks.

Forever Young - 4/10

No, not another Alphaville cover but a boring piano ballad, complete with strings and an almost operatic vocal performance. I'm sure Cosima finds "Forever Young" deeply moving, I just find it a disappointing end to an otherwise interesting album. "This Is Now" is by no means the best pop album of the year. It's an incoherent mess of different genres and styles but this musical dog's breakfast offers the listener an intriguing insight into a talented performer who is trying hard to discover her sound. Cosima hasn't found it yet but "This Is Now" is a step in the right direction.

You can order "This Is Now" from Chaos and listen to a couple of the tracks on Cosima's Myspace. More information about this struggling diva can be found on her website.

An Australian Icon And Four Fabulous Divas

All hail the return of a true Australian icon! Tina Arena has been snapped up by EMI and is planning to release new material in Australia for the first time since being dumped by Sony in 2004. I'm incredibly excited by this. Tina has been a favourite of mine since Young Talent Time and no other local diva comes close to matching her powerful pipes. The new album is titled "Songs Of Love And Loss" and appears to be a covers album of tracks by the likes of REM, Burt Bacharach, Carole King and Dusty Springfield. What's more, Tina is about to embark on a national tour with a 35 piece orchestra to celebrate her return. You can order your tickets from Ticketmaster. Wild sex with George Clooney couldn't keep me away!

In other happy news, my favourite girlband - Young Divas - are back with a fierce new track, "Turn Me Loose". The song is a cover of Loverboy's 80s classic and is another slice of pop trash heaven. The presence of an obese rent-a-rapper just makes the whole experience even more hilarious. Girls Aloud and the Sugababes wish they could be this fabulous. New member, Jessica Mauboy, fits in nicely and the song is a fantastic choice. The divas' sexy stylist Gary Leeson has been working overtime. The ladies all look amazing. Paulini's "sex hair" weave is the hottest thing I've seen in ages. I just hope Team Sony open their wallets and commission some decent remixes this time around. "Turn Me Loose" is released on the 19th of November and can be pre-ordered here. Welcome back, girls! Make sure you check out the Divas' amazing performance of the song on last night's Australian Idol.

Ricki-Lee's Brand New Day

Any doubts surrounding Ricki-Lee's decision to leave Young Divas disappeared when "Can't Touch It" debuted at #2 on the Australian singles chart. With the album's brilliant first single an undisputed smash hit, "Brand New Day" swiftly became one of the year's most highly anticipated pop releases. With good reason, as it turns out. Ricki-Lee's second album shrewdly pitches her as Australia's answer to Christina Aguilera. Like Christina, Ricki-Lee has a huge voice and explores musical genres traditionally dominated by black artists. Unlike Christina, Ricki-Lee never forgets her pop roots. "Brand New Day" has a shiny veneer of urban credibility but Ricki-Lee's pop sensibility is never too far from the surface.

From the very first song, it's immediately apparent that "Brand New Day" is massive step forward from Ricki-Lee's debut album. The production is sharper, the songs are better and Ricki-Lee's voice has developed a gravelly edge that it previously lacked. The album kicks out with "Can't Sing A Different Song", a rollicking anthem that sounds like a cross between Christina Aguilera and Gwen Stefani. While "Can't Sing A Different Song" sits on the cutting edge of urban pop, the album's title track is a gorgeous soul pastiche which owes more to Stevie Wonder than Pharrell. The funky instrumentation and perky backing vocals make "Brand New Day" a sunny treat. One of my concerns for the album was that it might get bogged down with dreary ballads and vocal acrobatics. For the first half of the album, Ricki-Lee keeps the overwrought balladry to a minimum. "Melody Of Life" is one of the disc's best ballads. It showcases Ricki-Lee's exquisite voice without any false sentiment. The production is breathtaking with a gorgeous blend of instruments and orchestration.

The album's best song and a smash hit in waiting is a cover version of a Swedish pop tune. "Love Is All Around" was first sung by the winner of Swedish Idol, Agnes Carlsson. Her version was the standout track on an otherwise dismal album but was ultimately hampered by Agnes' reed thin voice and the overly clinical production. Ricki-Lee has breathed life into "Love Is All Around", transforming the song into warm and uplifting pop anthem. Some critics have likened "Love Is All Around" to Janet Jackson and there is more than a hint of "Together Again" in Ricki-Lee's version. I hope that Janet hears "Love Is All Around", remembers her glory days and decides to stop singing about her cunt. The quality of the tracks on "Brand New Day" is consistently excellent but "Love Is All Around" is spectacular and positively screams to be released as a single. The same can not be said for Ricki-Lee's reggae jam, "Real Good Time". The song is perfectly enjoyable but I don't think Ricki-Lee's future lies in Jamaican dance halls.

"Can't Touch It" deserves all the praise that has been lavished upon it. Ricki-Lee's party anthem will be heating up nightclubs for years to come with its killer beats and fierce lyrics. The pounding drums, hand claps and brassy vocals make "Can't Touch It" an instant Australian pop classic. One of the album's most appealing qualities is the bold mix of musical genres. The very modern sounding "Can't Touch It" is followed by "Take Me To A Place", an appealing anthem that wouldn't sound out of place on a Motown compilation. While the first seven tracks on "Brand New Day" are uniformly outstanding, the second half of the album loses some momentum. There's not a bad song to be found but "Brand New Day" becomes slightly bogged down in one too many mid-tempo grooves. "Alone No More" is beautifully sung but ultimately a rather standard ballad. "Clouds" breezily documents a case of writer's block, while "World Go By" recalls the days when Mariah Carey still made good music. Ricki-Lee's voice really is a sublime instrument.

The pace briefly picks up with the funky "It's Just Life". The throbbing beats are a welcome change after a string of slow jams. The song shares the same zen message as "Clouds" and "World Go By" but it has more bite. However, the five minute plus running time feels slightly excessive. The album's final song, "I Appreciate You", stands out from the other ballads with its beautiful strings and intimate subject matter - the song is a touching account of Ricki-Lee's relationship with her mother. "I Appreciate You" is a fitting conclusion to a very personal album. Ricki-Lee has obviously grown immensely as an artist and as a human being.

Final Verdict: Highly Recommended

Standout Tracks: "Can't Sing A Different Song", "Love Is All Around" and "Can't Touch It".

My Gripe: The hideous "Ricki-Lee as Enya" album cover.


"Brand New Day" can be purchased from Chaos, Sanity and iTunes. To find out more about Ricki-Lee check out her Myspace. Ricki-Lee also has a website but it doesn't appear to have been updated for a very LONG time!

Roxane Is Sexy!

I thought I'd quickly post this before I run off to find some cut-off gloves for tonight's Samantha Fox concert! Roxane's debut solo single has been plagued with more drama than an entire season of "Bold & The Beautiful". "Sexy", a glorious slice of pop trash built around a throbbing sample of Salt 'N' Pepa's 80s classic "Push It", was almost scrapped when Sophie Monk performed the same song in a lingerie commercial. Sanity finally prevailed and Roxane's stunning anthem was released on Monday. All of the remixes are great but I've settled on the trashy Electro 7", although the House 7" is just as worthy. I know I've declared my love for "Sexy" several times already but I find it more fabulous with each listen.

You can purchase a copy of "Sexy" from Chaos, Sanity or iTunes. Don't forget to check out the amazing video clip.

Sophie Monk Vs Roxane LeBrasse

Salt 'N' Pepa's "Push It" became gossip column fodder last week when it was announced that Sophie Monk and Australian Idol contestant, Roxane LeBrasse, had both recorded versions of the 80s rap classic. The "Push It" battle was really quite amusing at first. In a truly classy display, Sophie recorded the song to promote a new range of push up bras (pictured above), while Roxane's version was intended to launch her music career. Unfortunately, that plan came to a screeching halt when Universal Australia announced that they were scrapping Roxane's single due to the "unfair" competition.

Universal's response strikes me as being rather heavy handed. Firstly, the songs are completely different. Sophie's is a standard cover version, which is basically a poor excuse to wear as little as possible and gyrate like a whore. Roxane's "Sexy Girls", on the other hand, is not really a cover at all - it just samples "Push It". Then there is the fact that Sophie's rendition was never scheduled for a commercial release. As far as I can tell the song will be given away in stores selling the Monk push up bra. Universal should be sending Sophie a box of her favourite diuretics as a thank you for all the publicity instead of destroying Roxane's pop dream. You can read about the saga and watch a clip of Sophie's fantastically slutty video here. Roxanne's "Sexy Girls" is playing on her Myspace. I love Sophie but Roxane's song is vastly superior.

I guess it is back to the drawing board for poor Roxane. The woman deserves some good luck after suffering the indignity of finishing 9th on Australian Idol and then losing her record deal to a lingerie commercial! The shame is that Roxane's new material sounds fantastic. Anyone who still needs convincing should check out "I Ain't Playin'", a song she recorded with the Rockmelons way back in 2002. I think "I Ain't Playin'" is one of the group's best non-Deni songs. It was included on their album "Rockies 3".

Good Grief, Cosima's Back!

Cosima De Vito returns to the pop scene this week with a brand new single and to my complete surprise, it's entirely fabulous! "Keep It Natural" is Cosima's first single in two years and represents a completely new musical direction for the diva who placed 3rd on the first series of Australian Idol, behind Guy Sebastian and Shannon Noll. The dreary ballads have given way to a thumping dancefloor anthem, which is easily the best Australian Idol solo single since Paulini's "Rough Day". "Keep It Natural" is already gaining popularity on the club scene and could be the start of a whole new career as a trashy dance diva!

I have said a lot of nasty things about Cosima in the past, describing her as the poor man's Tina Arena and likening her face to a slapped arsehole. I might have been overly unkind but anyone who suffered through Cosima's notorious debut album will understand my grudge. For those lucky enough to have escaped "Cosima", the album's notoriety lies with fact that it was comprised almost exclusively of lame Diane Warren penned power ballads, the majority of which had already been released by other artists. In a nutshell, it was a dreary pile of shit. To make matters worse, the project was self-funded and is rumoured to have pushed the De Vito family close bankruptcy when the album flopped. It's great to see that Cosima has learned from her mistakes and found a whole new sound.

I've had my misgivings about Cosima's choice of material but never about the quality of her voice. I still think she sounds like Tina Arena but that is a massive compliment. It makes a nice change to hear someone who can actually belt the fuck out of song instead of talking their way through it. In fact, Cosima's voice is so big that "Keep It Natural" reminds me of Deborah Cox at her best. I was also impressed to learn that Cosima co-wrote the song with Trevor Steel. Hopefully, this means no more Diane Warren! You know a song is being aimed squarely at the gays when a "Taylor Square Remix" is included (Taylor Square is a meeting point on Sydney's gay scene) and I couldn't be happier - the remix is a trashy delight!

You can purchase Cosima's dancefloor anthem from Sanity, Chaos and iTunes. The single includes an interesting Italian version of the song. Check out this fantastic live performance on the Today Show or visit Cosima's website for further information.

Young Divas - Searchin'

The Young Divas released the third single from their self-titled debut album in Australia today and, being only slightly obsessed with the band, I rushed out to buy it. I'm still annoyed that "Searchin'" was chosen as a single when it is one of the weakest tracks on the album but the sexy single cover eases some of the pain. It's truly amazing what airbrushing and a soft lens can accomplish! Unfortunately, the Divas continue their run of releasing stingy singles with no B-sides. At least "Searchin'" has a couple of remixes, unlike their ultra-cheap previous offerings. None of the remixes are world shattering but I'm rather enjoying the "Pop Embassy Remix" and I've uploaded it for your listening pleasure.

Make sure to support Australia's classiest girl group by purchasing the single at Chaos or Sanity.