I've been rather unkind about La Roux in the past, calling them La Poo and describing Elly & co as a Eurythmics tribute band. Despite all that, I actually quite like their music. I just don't think recycling 80s beats and hairstyles makes them the musical revolutionaries they are often held out to be. That's not to say they don't know their way around a four minute pop song. "Bulletproof" is utterly irresistible and their ode to La Toya ("I'm Not Your Toy") is a total grower. Anyway, I jumped at the chance when I was invited to their one and only non-festival show in Sydney. I feared the concert might be painfully pretentious and a little too cool for school but it was surprisingly fun and low key. In fact, there was something distinctly old fashioned (and dare I say it - 80s) about the minimal staging and ultra brief setlist.
As far as I'm concerned, Elly Jackson IS La Roux. It's hard to take your eyes off her when she takes the stage. There's just something wonderfully alien about her appearance. I imagine if Tilda Swinton were transported back to the 80s, she'd look a little like Elly. As effortlessly charismatic as she is, I have to admit that I was slightly disappointed with her live vocals. Elly's voice is even more thin and brittle than it sounds on record and it was often hard to hear her over the band. However, when things clicked - the show was first rate. I loved hearing "Fascination" live (this is surely the album's 5th single?), "Quicksand" was a definite highlight, "In For The Kill" had the crowd in a frenzy and "I'm Not Your Toy" gets more delightful every time I hear it. They closed their incredibly brief set (they only performed 8 songs) with "Bulletproof" and it almost brought the house down. I'm still not convinced La Roux are the second coming but after Tuesday night I have a lot more time for them and their particular brand of 80s inspired pop.
Welcome to possibly the weirdest Pop Panel yet. I'm not really talking about the song selection (although it is very random) but the judging. There's always a broad spectrum of opinion but we usually agree on a couple of tracks. Not this week. There were a lot of 5/5 ratings - albeit all for different artists! It's probably my fault. This is the first time I've just submitted 8 songs that I really like without any consideration for big new releases and hyped tracks. My taste is notoriously... eclectic, so I should have expected something like this! Anyway, I really love the winner and think she's a true Pop Trash Addicts diva. The following bloggers helped determine our deserving champion:
Even more exciting is the participation of one of my favourite Australian divas - the fierce and fabulous Robyn Loau. Robyn has featured on my blog many, manytimes over the years and I'm proud to welcome her as a celebrity guest judge. In case you've been living under a rock or are 12 years old, Robyn first came to fame in Australia as part of the legendary girlband Girlfriend. Take a walk down memory lane and check out their stunning #1 hit "Take It From Me". When those ladies parted ways (random fact - Siobhan is now a pole dancing instructor!), Robyn embarked upon her solo career and delivered one of the seminal pop tracks of the late 90s, the still amazing "Sick With Love". The diva's latest offering is a very unexpected change of pace. Robyn has teamed up with Josh Abrahams (of "Addicted To Bass" fame) for a dance track about the Columbine high school shootings! The song comes from Robyn's forthcoming second solo album. Check out the brilliant clip below and download it from iTunes now. I guess, it's time to get on with the judging. As usual the songs are listed from least to most popular.
This popular Dutch girlband filmed their video on location in... Morocco!
D'Luv: This makes that worthless hooker who sang "My Ass" sound like Maria Callas. 0/5 Mike: It's so refreshing to see a group of happy-go-lucky sluts dance around to a tacky party anthem without being styled to within an inch of their lives. I love them! 3.5/5 Paul: I'm not really sure what to make of this. It sounds a bit dated and a lot like something else but I can't really put my finger on what. It's still a million times more interesting than the Saturdays comeback song so it gets a 3/5. Poster Girl: Most of the Panel is going to hate this, aren't they? 3/5 Rob: I love Djumbo but Caracola got there first. This is sweet though. I'm not sure this is gonna travel well though with stories in the press regarding the relative strict religious regulations on parties. Nice attempt though. I would have picked Majorca though. They don't tend lock up gays there. 2/5 Robyn Loau: This track & video clip really gives me an insight to what it would be like to be blonde, skinny (with a sugar daddy)..."PARTY PARTY HO"!! 1/5 Tommie: Oh, they're singing about their hooking experiences in Dubai? I hear tranny cock is quite expensive there, so good for them! 4/5 Total: 16.5/35
UK cult icon Marc Massive is back with a cover of the Depeche Mode classic "Master & Servant".
D'Luv: Who tossed Pete Burns' slumped-over carcass into a shopping cart and wheeled him up to a microphone again? 1/5 Mike: Fuck off, haters! This is brilliant. I can almost smell the lube and leather in the air. Enjoy this anthem from the comfort of a sling in your favourite S&M dungeon. 5/5 Paul: Oooh Depeche Mode are the band to cover this year aren't they? Red Blooded Women, The Saturdays and now Massive Ego who sound more like Depeche Mode than Depeche Mode currently do! I'm always up for a good old S&M session (the tune, pervs!) and I suppose this is what the song would sound like if Marilyn Manson covered it. Not awful per se. 2.5/5 Poster Girl: Depeche Mode are one of those groups whose songs I tend to love in any modern incarnation--cover, sample--but of whom I've never listened to an album, which says a lot about both the quality of their songwriting and how, to my ears, the songs benefit from modern production. I kind of like this, but maybe we could just cut to the chase and have DepecheMode*Teens instead? 2.5/5 Rob: Okay, I really like this. For sure it's a cover, but this is how pop should be these days even when the texture of the sound isn't necessarily original. I love a bit of electroclash. It's also nice to hear the band tease out some early 90's-esque house wonderful trinkets of baselines in this pop polemic. Well done! 3/5 Robyn Loau: I think I'd need to take enormous amounts of drugs to really get the full effect of this track, but I'm currently breastfeeding so...no can do, boys! 3/5 Tommie: Fuck off and die. This Marilyn Manson wannabe does not even deserve to exist in the same universe as the awesome Depeche Mode! I feel aurally raped. 0/5 Total: 17/35
The Australian electro keeps on coming with the 4th single from EOTS’s debut album.
D'Luv: Daft Punk did this song ten times better. It's called "Digital Love." And, sorry, kids, but doing white-haired Adam Lambert drag in the video doesn't make the music any better. 1/5 Mike: Empire Of The Sun are one of my favourite bands but this is a curious single choice. It's a bit too soft and atmospheric for radio and too slow for the clubs but I do love it. 4/5 Paul: God the first forty seconds are some of the most boring pretentious music I've ever heard but then mercifully it gets marginally more interesting. Not much though. 2/5 Poster Girl: I put this on play while I was doing something else and was surprised when what felt like twenty seconds later I heard it fading out. If I force myself to focus, there are things I like, but if it's so easy for a song to blend into the background when there is no other background noise, I don't think I can justify giving it as high a score as I'd like. 2.5/5 Rob: Finally some class. This is one of my favourite songs from "Walking On A Dream". It's more subdued than their previous epic singles but this subtlety is its warmest element. Sometimes you don't have to scream it - you just have to whisper. 5/5 Robyn Loau: Nice art direction in this clip. I've always had a thing for blond haired/blue eyed guys... I wonder if he'd go out on a date with me? 3/5 Tommie: Did he just sing "no, no sheeps at all"? Are they from New Zealand? I do not approve of fucking animals, thank you very much! 0/5 Total: 17.5/35
@m8er – Kill The Bitch (Below)
Sydney’s @m8er is generating controversy with her debut single – which lists the celebrities she would like to kill.
D'Luv: This chav broad should go to England and visit Lady Sovereign, because that pussy ain't gonna eat itself. 1/5 Mike: I can't help feel that @m8er is jackin' CC Martini's swagga but I'll forgive her for producing the year's first LOL-worthy anthem. I sense a future Pop Trash icon in the making. 5/5 Paul: Oh. My God. Not only has she stolen the riff from MJ's "They Don't Care About Us", but the feisty little minx isn't pulling her punches lyrically either. I don't know whether to be horrified or highly amused so I will go for the latter. As someone on youtube commented, personally i'd like to fuck this song up the ass! What a compliment! The song is actually shit, but just for the audacity of it... 4.5/5 Poster Girl: 3 points awarded for a good beat, 1 deducted for awful, lazy lyrics, and 1 more for @m8er's noncomittal singing style - if you're going to be engaging in a controversy-courting list of all the ways you'd like to kill people, shouldn't there be some more vitriol in it? Sorry, but the girls you're listing off here have released better singles than this. That beat is worth rescuing, though. 1/5 Rob: Ah, I am absolutely sick of this sort of crap. Give this silly excuse for a human being a Simone de Beauvoir book. I mean it's sorta funny to hear celebrities being ripped to shreds but this attempt has been heard and seen all before. It would nice to see another woman celebrating her sisters rather than appropriate male heterosexist norms in a feeble bid to annihilate the successes of her very own gender. 0/5 Robyn Loau: Yes @m8er, these girls are annoying. Respect goes to anyone that can rebel against being politically correct. 3/5 Tommie: NOW we're talking! It's catchy, controversial and lyrically funny! This is what Pop Trash Addicts is all about. 5/5 Total: 19.5/35
Elly just punched another hole in the ozone layer getting her hair ready for La Roux's latest video.
D'Luv: I love this broad for the fact that, like Lady GaGa, she's reviving flamboyancy in pop. (That's right, haters — GaGa's gonna fuck you into the ground!) The song's a 4/5, but it gets an extra point for Elly's hair. 5/5 Mike: I like this song because it reminds me of La Toya. 3/5 Paul: Sigh. I just don't like her or her cheap casio sounding pop at all. Which makes it quite difficult for me to review this song. I don't hear anything innovative or particularly enjoyable for me here, Ugh, no I can't even get to the end of it, but thousands disagree with me, so I'm sure La Poux won't lose any sleep over it! 1/5 Poster Girl: Elly and Ben's steel drums and super-kitschy electro bleeps are entertaining for three minutes, but the song doesn't have any real sticking power for me. Listening to the rest of this week's singles got me to give this song an extra half point, though. 3/5 Rob: Everything about this grates on me. 1/5 Robyn Loau: This track has that "computer geek working in home/bedroom studio sound" to it & that's why I LOVE LOVE LOVE IT! 5/5 Tommie: Yes, I get it, she's so androgynous, alternative and cool and I should like her. But I'm indifferent. And despite her trying to win me over with a La Toya reference, I'm not buying it. 2/5 Total: 20/35
Melbourne based pop duo switch things up with a ballad for their 4th single.
D'Luv: The only thing that keeps this from being completely dull is the fact that it sorta rips off Hole's "Malibu." Otherwise, it gets a little painful. 2/5 Mike: I love Dash & Will. Their album is amazing and this is a great little single. I just wish they'd hurry up and release "Too Young Too Dumb" and get the commercial breakthrough they so richly deserve. 4/5 Paul: How unassumingly charming. I mean it doesn't come out and hit you over the head as a brilliant song, but it's not entirely awful either. Sounds like the type of song the CW network execs would be clamouring over themselves to put in the new Melrose Place. All a bit pleasant really with no real va va voom. 2.5/5 Poster Girl: Pleasantly - but not more - sung, pleasantly - but no more - written female-vocalled singer-songwriter song that, without any sort of entry point for me, has gone in one ear and out the other. 2/5 Rob: Somewhat like watching paint dry. 2/5 Robyn Loau: I had seen their "Out Of Control" video on TV and thought that it was much more PAINFUL than this 4th single which I actually like very much. Great line... "sometimes it gets a little painful, cause it's real!" Well done, girls. I'm a sucker for pop! 4/5 Tommie: This actually reminds me of something No Doubt would record in 1996 - and that's no insult. Surprisingly good pop/rock tune. 4/5 Total: 20.5/35
Ozone's Dan "Crazy Loop" Balan returns with a typically quirky pop tune. The Romanian sensation gets a UK release in October.
D'Luv: Who needs the Beatles when we have this rock legend creating another smashing pop anthem? I'd bang this guy, but only if he's wearing the Domino's Pizza outfit. 5/5 Mike: An instant seratonin boost. It's great to have Dan back with his own unique brand of fabulous non-sensical lyrics and outrageous fashion. More please! 4/5 Paul: I was actually expecting some dreadful novelty hit sounding tune, not this quite accomplished electro pop tune that just charms from start to finish. I know I'm a bit schizophrenic when it comes to liking eurotrash pop dance tunes - I either get them (this one) or I don't (Kim Sozzi). So overall, I'm quite chuffed with this. Wonder whether he busts any of those moves in the sack?! 4/5 Poster Girl: Dan Balan's ditching of the guitars and returning to the Europop fold means more joyous synths and ridiculous yodeling-style vocal melodies, which is really what he's meant to be doing. It's do "Dragostea din tei," but really, what is? 4/5 Rob: Wow this is trashy. As in it's shit. 1/5 Robyn Loau: Well, I couldn't stop smiling throughout this clip so I guess it's got something going for it. I love the fact that this guy can dance. 2/5 Tommie: When I first saw "Mm-Ma-Ma" in the title I for some reason just assumed it would sample "Surfin' Bird" and automatically be amazing, but no one has thought of that idea yet it seems (JUST PUTTING IT OUT THERE). As it is now, it's a bit of a novelty song and nothing special. 2/5 Total: 22/35
American dance queen's latest floorfiller is starting to get mainstream top 40 airplay.
D'Luv: Proof that boring dance music doesn't just come from Germany. Despite an okay beat, this is really a snooze. Of course, looking over the rest of this week's offerings, I see the worst is yet to come. 2/5 Mike: I used to think Kim was the poor man's Kristine W, which is probably as low as it's humanly possible to go. Thankfully, "Feel Your Love" has finally slapped some sense into me. This is one of the year's best dance tracks - pretty, floaty and instantly catchy. An extra half point for looking so fucking sexy in the video. 5/5 Paul: Sozzi Kim but I am not being won over by your cheap and cheerful brand of Cascada dance pop. If this was a supermarket, she would be in the own name budget brand aisle of the store. I do like her triangular earrings though so a solid 1.5/5. Poster Girl: This is pretty, but it doesn't press hard enough towards either tear-filled dance or the uplifting kind, which means, probably unfairly, it left little mark on me. 2.5/5 Rob: Okay, the styling is amazing but people are just gonna refer to Lady GaGa. The song is pleasant though. Tina Cousins was doing this years ago. 3/5 Robyn Loau: Classic dance floor anthem, beautiful voice. Stunning clip, so brilliantly simple but looks big budget. Love her mirror ball wedge platforms. I would mug her for those, then wear them at Stonewall! 4/5 Tommie: Anyone registered at FlopPop.com has been brainwashed to like Kim Sozzi and I'm no exception! "Feel Your Love" is a dance triumph and makes Dannii stab her vagina with a dildo in frustration that she didn't record it first! 5/5 Total: 23/35
Welcome to my very first Pop Panel! I've been thinking of a way to make this blog more collaborative for a while now, so I thought I'd ask some of my favourite bloggers to help me decide on a 'Single Of The Week'. The concept couldn't be more simple. All the panellists have to do is rate a bunch of recently released pop tracks out of five. The idea is still very much a work in progress but so far it's been a lot of fun - even though I utterly detest the winner. My poor blog may never recover! Anyway, it's time to introduce this week's panel:
D'Luv (US) - The man behind the hugely popular and extremely fabulous Chart Rigger. Pablo (Spain) - The classiest (*cough*) blogger ever to emerge from Huesca. See Peibols for proof. Paul (UK) - Everyone knows and loves this blogwhore, making Fizzy Pop a must read. Robpop(UK) - The internet would be a wasteland without the genius of Don't Stop The Pop. The Prophet(Aus) - The Prophet is THE place to be for fans of urban music.
And myself (Mike) of Pop Trash Addicts "fame"!
So here there are, ranked according to their votes:
D'Luv: No. (1/5) Mike: Dear Mimi, close your precious eyes and think of pretty, pink unicorns. These ignorant haters are obviously blind to your greatness! (3.5/5) Pablo: Boooooring! I've seen videos made from Power Point with better music and more love. Like this Gypsy Wedding in Huesca. (1/5) Paul: Unlike Mariah's ever expanding jugs, this will not be massive. Hideous. She's milking that album more than she is her new husband. Get back to your wifely duties woman! (1/5) Prophet: "E=MC2" is easily the worst album that Mariah Carey has ever recorded. 'Love Story' is just another one of "E=MC2's" generic, boring and stale ballads. (1/5) Robpop: I want retro Mariah back. When she mentally declared to her departed lover that she would be his baby. (0/5) Total: 7.5/30
D'Luv: This song would be a grower if any radio station were actually playing it enough to force you to like it. But thankfully... (2/5) Mike: There's a reason why this was left off "Body Language". It's fucking shit. (0/5) Pablo: Almost as boring as Mariah. If Paula isn't drunk, I don't pay her any attention. (1/5) Paul: I'd rather munch out a sweaty Beth Ditto than listen to this abomination again. (0/5) Prophet: The rumours about Paula's drug use are obviously true because only somebody pumped full of meds would think it was a good idea to cover a Kylie Minogue song. At least do something by her sister who's actually half decent. What happened to the "Cold Hearted Snake" I used to know and love? (1/5) Robpop: Completely fun. This is what its about. Fuck its history and context. Judging by the song alone, it hits my pleasure principle. Hard. (5/5) Total: 9/30
D'Luv: Peaches always seems like a good idea on paper, but let's face it; her songs have consistently sucked for six years now. (1/5) Mike: A true pioneer at the very height of her game! (4/5) Pablo: Dark! (4/5) Paul: I feel bilious just listening to it. More angry girl rock. (2/5) Prophet: Peaches is a pretentious twat but I absolutely love her music and this is no exception. Not quite as good as "Kick It" but fabulous nonetheless. (3.5/5) Robpop: Yawn. (1/5) Total: 15.5/30
D'Luv: This clip leads me to believe James has wiled away many sleazy hours. (3/5) Mike: Beautifully simple and melodic. James Leon is an electropop force to be reckoned with. (4.5/5) Pablo: Any more 90's and it'll explode. (2/5) Paul: Although I think the lyrics should say "my purple head will heal you" there's a lot of melody and loveliness in the chorus. (4.5/5) Prophet: Oh please, I can't stand this pretentious gay indie-electro trash. Maybe if I was manking out on a vial upstairs at the Midnight Shift then I could appreciate this - but until that day comes, this gets a (1.5/5) from me. Robpop: Beautiful electro soft pumped up ballad that is magically sparse & deserves more attention. (3/5) Total: 18.5/30
D'Luv: Clay Aiken actually looks quite butch in this video, so I'm giving it a good rating. (4/5) Mike: There's something painfully pretentious about this duo but "Bulletproof" is an undeniably delicious serve of electropop goodness. (3.5/5) Pablo: The ugly daughter from Nicola Roberts from Girls Aloud and Siobhan Donaghy remaking Robyn's video. Sticky. (3/5) Paul: My god she looks scary in the video. Why is she singing over the backing track from 80s video game classic "Frogger"? Sort of works though. (3/5) Prophet: When this started I thought "Ohh, finally some electro I like". Unfortunately some screaming ginger dyke had to come along and ruin it all. (2/5) Robpop: Part-Grange Hill, Part-Robyn, Bulletproof is a rather nice ditty from a terribly English singer who tries far too much to fit in with the Shoreditch crowd. It works however. A success. (4/5) Total: 19.5/30
D'Luv: There's only one Cut Copy in my book, but these guys come off as their brattier second cousins. Not bad. (3/5) Mike: An absolute corker of a song. Fucking stunning from beginning to end. One of Australia's most promising bands. (4.5/5) Pablo: Quite surprising. I didn't expect this kind of music could come out of Australia. (4/5) Paul: It lost points for not being a cover of the Steps classic. (2.5/5) Prophet: "What are wire hangers doing in this closet when I told you no wire hangers EVER!" Sorry, I ran off to watch "Mommie Dearest" so I could escape this audible hell. I hope these Presets knock offs make like their name and Vanish. (1.5/5) Robpop: Absolutely amazing. (4/5)
So there you have it. Annie's latest flop is my very first 'Single Of The Week'! Do you think the Pop Panel should be a regular feature or was once enough?
I've been rather unkind about La Roux in the past, calling them La Poo and describing Elly & co as a Eurythmics tribute band. Despite all that, I actually quite like their music. I just don't think recycling 80s beats and hairstyles makes them the musical revolutionaries they are often held out to be. That's not to say they don't know their way around a four minute pop song. "Bulletproof" is utterly irresistible and their ode to La Toya ("I'm Not Your Toy") is a total grower. Anyway, I jumped at the chance when I was invited to their one and only non-festival show in Sydney. I feared the concert might be painfully pretentious and a little too cool for school but it was surprisingly fun and low key. In fact, there was something distinctly old fashioned (and dare I say it - 80s) about the minimal staging and ultra brief setlist.
