Lady Gaga's Monster Ball - Live In Sydney

What a week! I thought Ami Suzuki's 30 minute DJ set of radio hits from 2009 would be hard to top but Lady Gaga's Monster Ball was even more riveting. Love her or hate her, it's impossible to deny the Picasso-esque beauty's incredible impact on popular culture and last night was a celebration of everything that makes Gaga so special - her stage theatrics, outrageous costumes and undeniable talent. Call the woman pretentious if you will but try telling that to the thousands of teenage girls, housewives and homosexuals who travelled from the suburbs to honour their icon in full Gaga dress. Before I get stuck into my review, I have to get one thing off my chest. As much as it pains me to say anything nice about Madonna, the fame monster owes Madge some new chicken cutlets for ruthlessly pillaging her Blond Ambition tour. It's not a criticism as such - Blond Ambition "borrowed" heavily from Liza With A Z (watch it if you don't believe me) - but the debt should be acknowledged. However, while Madonna did it first, Lady Gaga does it better. The Monster Ball chews up a seemingly endless string of influences and spits them out to create something new and wonderful.

Gaga's best angle

The show begins with a fairly grungy projection on plain white curtain. Lady Gaga then appears in silhouette to perform "Dance In The Dark" (one of my favourite songs from the album). As far as entrances go, it's actually quite dull. Someone lend her a DVD of Kylie's Fever tour so this can be rectified ASAP! Things rapidly improved when the curtain fell and Honey Bee's partner in crime strutted down a staircase to belt out "Glitter and Grease", "Just Dance" and "Beautiful Dirty Rich". The highlight of that tasty trio was definitely "Just Dance", which Gaga sang while playing a car shaped piano. It was at this time that the dirty diva introduced the show's theme - a Wizard of Oz inspired journey to the monster's ball, a place where freaks and weirdos are not only welcome but the norm. From that moment on the concert transformed into something akin to a rock opera. Only with really gay dance tunes. I loved the narrative and found it a perfect match for Gaga's theatrical aesthetic. The treatment was a little heavy handed in places - bitch, we get that your message is all about inclusion without you telling us every 5 minutes - but it worked and provided the perfect canvas for her imagination to run riot.

Stunning choreography!

To be honest, I'd never heard "Vanity" before last night's concert and I (rather shamefully) own 6 or 7 different editions of "The Fame". Gaga introduced the song saying she had been performing it since she was 18 - so I guess that makes it about 20 years old. Despite the track's astounding vintage, it's a brilliant punk infused pop/rock anthem that I desperately need on my iPod. I love it when Lady Gaga rocks out. Her ability to genre hop so effortlessly is what makes her so interesting. It also strikes me as vastly more authentic than her Madonna inspired rendition of "LoveGame" in a plastic nun's habit. On the bright side, it gave me "Like A Prayer" flashbacks, which remains my favourite old hag anthem. Much more exciting was her performance of "Boys Boys Boys" - in my opinion the best song on "The Fame" after "Poker Face" and "Just Dance". That was followed by a track I didn't recognise ("Money Honey" according to other reviews I've read) before an angel appeared to drag the concert to previously undreamed of heights. "Telephone" is amazing enough on its own but I was wondering how she would cover Beyoncé's verse. As it turns out, she just played a recording of her part and sang along. Hearing the true Queen of American pop's voice gave me chills and I loved Gaga's quip about Beyjesus busting her out of gaol. Seeing the choreography from the video performed with startling accuracy was also a sight to behold. Epic!

Good witch Glenda

From here on in things got a little weird. The Lady sat down at a flaming piano to perform a couple of ballads and really brought "Brown Eyes" to life. Next up was "Speechless", another of my favourite tracks from "The Fame Monster". I love the song and her performance was extraordinary until she stopped halfway through and started rambling about her struggle to make it, feeling like a freak and loving her fans so very much. She then burst into tears before finishing the song. I'm not sure if the outburst was genuine (it would be interesting to know if she does it at every show) but it was nice to catch a rare glimpse of Stefani Germanotta. She quickly disappeared as Gaga re-emerged dressed as good witch Glenda to perform "So Happy I Could Die" on a platform that was elevated high above the crowd. Her costume was spectacularly beautiful and the set design was equally exquisite. While that might have been the concert's prettiest moment, "Monster" was probably the best choreographed and performed number. I've always like the song but she really took it to the next level and I haven't been able to stop listening to it since. Please release this as a single!

An exclusive pic of Gaga sans make up!

Another song that sounds vastly better live than on record is "Teeth". I can't even listen to it on "The Fame Monster" but it was bearable last night. More appealing was the delightful "Alejandro", which I believe is now officially going to be the third single. This segment was completely over the top - with Gaga pretending to die before demanding the audience to recognise her endless sex appeal (stop laughing!) and being dropped in a fountain spraying blood or red wine. It was completely ludicrous and pretty ridiculous to anyone old enough to know the various films, artists and performers she's ripping off but I loved every second of it. Unlike most fans, I actually think Gaga is in on the joke. Next up was another costume change - Kylie's catsuit from the "Telephone" video! - for "Poker Face", followed by an anime/King Kong inspired performance of "Paparazzi". Both were brilliant but the staging of "Paparazzi" was so simple yet effective (love the blow up monster!) that it left more of an impact. For the big finale Gaga dragged out "Bad Romance" and proved yet again why that is one of the greatest pop songs of all time. The costume was amazing but I'm constantly surprised how that anthem continues to develop and evolve. I could whinge about the increasingly long costume changes, the insipid speeches about being true to yourself and her general artistic thievery but that would be to deny her undeniable talent as a performer and her current status - like it or not - as one of pop music's greatest visionaries.

Touched By The Hand Of Amigod!

Japanese pop icon Ami Suzuki rocked the Gold Coast to its very foundations on Sunday night without even picking up a microphone. At first I was slightly disappointed that I'd flown from Sydney to listen her holiness play a bunch of CDs but just being in her presence was enough to turn the evening into a semi-religious experience. That and the fact that she accidentally spilled some water on my head. Yes, bitches - I've been baptised by Amigod! Apart from that life changing moment, the highlight of the evening was undoubtedly hearing Ami play a fabulous mash of "Free Free" and "Can't Get You Out Of My Head". I wish she played more of her own music but at least she picked the two best songs from her vast catalogue of hits. Other tracks spun by the pop legend include "Just Dance", "Sexy Bitch" and "Boom Boom Pow". Ami is so cutting edge! There isn't actually that much I can write about a DJ set, so I thought I'd let the pictures do the talking.

While lesser stars play at common venues like Acer Arena and the Entertainment Centre, Ami prefers to keep it real by rocking Bedroom Nightclub. Conveniently located near Condom Kingdom and a kebab store.

Ami-mania even spread to the urinal. Pissing in public has never been more glamorous!

The divine diva looked absolutely stunning in her floral dress. Love the sequined headphones.

Ami was the picture of concentration...

But eventually let loose and drove the crowd into a frenzy with her amazing tunes.

She changed her own CDs and everything!

"How did it come to this?"

In all seriousness, I think more pop stars should do DJ sets. Just think how much more enjoyable an Annie or Little Boots concert would be if you didn't have to hear them sing. Ami is such a trendsetter! As much as I'd love to see Lady Suzuki perform live, it was enough just to be in the same room as her. She's doing another show in Brisbane on Thursday, so head along to catch a glimpse of Japan's true Queen of pop. You might even run into these lovely girls!

George Michael - Live In Sydney

As you can tell, I had amazing seats!

It's not easy being a fan of 80s pop icons with highly publicised drug habits. I spent Wednesday night bathing in Whitney's sweat soaked glamour before doing it all over again on Friday at George Michael's Sydney show. The concerts couldn't have been more different - George was actually lucid and sang in tune - but I enjoyed them both equally. Albeit for very different reasons. Whitney was a hot mess but there was something unusually intimate about her trainwreck of a tour. George, on the other hand, was the epitome of professionalism. Everything from the staging to the setlist was immaculate and he cemented his reputation as a consummate live performer. Having just stumbled home from Mardi Gras, I'm not quite up to writing a proper review but here are some random thoughts on the George Michael experience:

1. The man still looks hot - especially for a middle aged pothead. George, call me if you get bored. We'll smoke a bowl and cruise some beats!

2. Time has not wearied the brilliance of "Fast Love", "Too Funky" and "Freedom" one iota.

3. Dita Von Teese almost stole the show with her saucy video montage.

4. "My Mother Had A Brother" gets me every time. Without a doubt one of the most heartbreaking songs about homosexuality ever written.

5. Speaking of gayness, dedicating "Amazing" to (his partner) Kenny was a nice touch. I also liked the banter about Mardi Gras and his amusing warning about over-zealous policemen.

6. I wish he'd leave "Roxanne" to Sting. It was one of the night's few misfires.

7. The ballad section was lovely. George has one of the most underrated voices in pop music.

8. "Wake Me Up Before You Go Go" and "I Want Your Sex" were glaring omissions. I would have also loved to hear "Monkey" and "Precious Box".

9. Vodka and Johnny Walker don't mix. Believe me, I learned the hard way.

10. The highlight of the night was "Outside". The video projections were amazing and George rocked that police uniform.

Whitney's Hot Mess Tour

I grew up listening to Whitney Houston. Her debut was the soundtrack to every dinner party my mother held in the mid-80s (along with Sade’s “Diamond Life”) and 1987’s “Whitney” was the first album I bought. My interest waned during the Bobby Brown years but “I Look To You” reignited the flame and I couldn’t wait to see the legendary diva drag her crack ravaged carcass around the stage despite the abysmal reviews. Critics have ridiculed Whitney’s voice, questioned her professionalism and mocked her wardrobe. And it’s hard to disagree. Her rendition of “The Greatest Love Of All” was a travesty, she often appeared as high as a kite disorientated and returned to the stage after intermission looking like she had just crawled out of Ke$ha’s luxury dumpster. The thing is – I still loved every minute of it. Whitney’s voice has taken more of a beating than Madonna’s vagina but her vocal shortcomings somehow made the show more intimate and raw, evoking an unexpectedly emotional response from the audience who took over singing duties when she couldn’t. It would have been easy to come on stage and mime like Britney but Nippy kept it real, flaws and all.

The show started promisingly. Whitney looked amazing in a slinky gold dress and launched straight into two of my favourite songs from her latest album – “For The Lovers” and “Nothin’ But Love”. Her voice was shaky but nowhere near as bad as the reviews would have you believe. It was great to see her looking so radiant and I was happy to see her (clumsily) perform some choreography. Someone needs to sign her up to the Kylie school of hand-dancing! There was a palpable sense of relief from fans when she finally made her way though “I Look To You” after a dodgy start and things genuinely looked up when she performed a brilliant reggae tinged version of “My Love Is Your Love” (one of my all time favourite songs) and endearingly hummed a few lines from “Like I Never Left”. Introducing her daughter to the crowd was a nice touch and I loved her diva tantrum before “It’s Not Right But It’s Okay”. The sound apparently wasn’t up to scratch and she had three false starts before belting out the song in rather fabulous style. A spot on rendition of “If I Told You That” closed the first act, which more than exceeded my expectations.

Unfortunately, the Whitney express was destined for a head on collision. The intermission was her first big mistake. It was great to hear her brother sing and I loved her band’s version of “Queen Of The Night” but the “One Moment In Time” video montage was a potent reminder of the sad decline in Whitney’s voice. She didn’t help her cause by returning to the stage wearing a transparent black top and what at first glance looked like a fluffy car seat cover. Her hair was also sweat soaked and limp, making the entire ensemble less than flattering. The acoustic section that followed was very hit and miss. “Saving All My Love For You” was rough but poignant, while “The Greatest Love Of All” was heartbreakingly bad. Whitney redeemed herself somewhat with a respectable take on “All At Once” before really coming through on “I Learned From The Best”, which was probably her best vocal performance of the night.

More enjoyable still was her increasingly erratic behaviour – she inexplicably stopped singing in the middle of songs, congratulated a lesbian couple holding a 25 Year anniversary banner on being “friends” as long as she has been making music, turned her back on the audience to speak to the band for extended periods, said that she was pleased to see so many people “as old as her mother” in the crowd and talked about missing Michael Jackson before ranting about fans talking to her while she’s trying to eat. It was a complete car crash but I couldn’t take my eyes off her.

Less fun was her extended sermon about Jesus and her woefully inept rendition of “I Love The Lord”. It was around this time that people started to walk out but it was their loss because (the remainder of) the crowd was completely swept up in the warm nostalgia of “I Wanna Dance With Somebody” and “How Will I Know”. Her voice was pretty croaky by then but Whitney’s energy and obvious delight in getting her fans on their feet was compensation her vocal problems. I was genuinely worried when she launched into “I Will Always Love You” but it turned out to be surprisingly competent - if you overlook the two minutes of silence mid-song when she strolled to the back of the stage to grab a drink. Whitney’s upper and lower register are intact, it’s just everything else she has a problem with. I loved hearing her belt out her biggest hit and was moved when she hit the big note at the end. She probably should have left things there but she returned for a fun but sloppy version of “Million Dollar Bill”, followed by “I’m Every Woman”. That is until she turned around and left the stage halfway through the song without saying a word, leaving her band and dancers red faced. It was a fittingly twisted end to an emotional rollercoaster that I’d happily take again. Whitney is a lot of things. Boring isn’t one of them.

Florence & The Machine 26/01/10

Ok, I have to get two things off my chest. Firstly, if Florence is 23 - then Lady GaGa is sweet 16 and never been kissed. I don't care that she resembles Nicki French circa 1998 (I actually find it endearing) but at least pick a believable stage age. Like 37. Secondly, Florence & The Machine are completely fucking brilliant live. Last night's show was one of the most electric pop/rock concerts I've ever seen. I didn't think "Lungs" could get any better but dirty, old Flo breathed new life into the album, taking each and every song to dizzying new heights. After hearing the indie pop Queen's unfortunate Live Lounge cover of "Halo", I had my doubts about her vocal chops but halfway through the opening number (a wicked rendition of "My Boy Builds Coffins") they disappeared. Florence's voice is an amazing instrument - at times raw and rough ("Kiss With A Fist"), occasionally soft and fragile ("I'm Not Calling You A Liar"), always gripping and powerful. There's just something special about this woman. She's got the love (and hype) from critics but also has the talent back it up.

It's hard to select a single highlight from a concert this good but, if pressed, I'd probably choose the band's primal rendition of "The Drumming Song" or their shambolic sing-a-long version of "Dog Days Are Over". Another favourite was "Howl". Can this catchy anthem please be the next single instead of "Hurricane Drunk"? They're both great songs but one is a sure fire radio hit, while the other is a #87 smash in waiting. I guess it doesn't matter when you already have a #1 album. One of the best things about the show was gaining a new appreciation for tracks I stupidly ignored in the past. I finally get the brilliance of "Between Two Lungs", while "Cosmic Love" is quite possibly the prettiest song Flo has ever recorded. As much as I enjoyed the album tracks, it was only fitting that she keep her two biggest hits for the encore. "You've Got The Love" (one of the band's few duds) sounds much less shit live, while "Rabbit Heart" (their best track) was absolutely explosive. I'm trying to think of criticisms but all I can come up with is the relatively short duration (they played for less than an hour). The band was tight, the setlist was pretty comprehensive and Florence was mesmerising. I have a feeling the next time they play Sydney it will be somewhere a lot less intimate than The Metro.

Still my favourite Florence track

Sia - Live At The Enmore

Sia Furler is one of those singers I love but never write about for the simple fact that she's too high brow for this joint - or so I thought until she opened last night's show with Olivia Newton John's "Xanadu", before sticking random objects into her underpants. Needless to say, Sia is not your typical critically acclaimed singer-songwriter. She's more than a little eccentric, loves to chat with the audience and is very, very funny. It speaks volumes for her skill as a performer that she can move effortlessly from telling a joke about being ignored at the ARIAs to singing about love, heartbreak and everything inbetween with so much emotion and empathy. I would have liked to hear a few more songs from "Healing Is Difficult" and "Colour The Small One" but Sia was pretty hard to fault. The band was great, she sounded amazing and I got free beer from the lesbians standing next to me. Result.

Anyway, here are my top 10 reasons to see Sia live (in no paprticular order):

1. Her signature glow in the dark version of "Buttons".
2. "You Have Been Loved" sounds even more beautiful and heartbreaking live than on the album. Which I didn't think possible.
3. The distinctly electronic direction of her new material.
4. She still performs the odd Zero 7 classic.
5. Her description of "I Should Be So Lucky" as awesome when someone (sarcastically) requested it.
6. "Lentil", "Soon We'll Be Found" and "Day Too Soon".
7. The hilarious anecdotes about working on Christina Aguilera's new album. Especially the bit about being too fat to borrow Xtina's stripper bikini.
8. Her cute reminder to stick around for the encore.
9. "Breathe Me" still represents everything Adele, Sarah Blasko and Dido have spent their entire careers trying and failing to write.
10. That voice.

The 2009 Australian tour edition (complete with bonus DVD, behind the scenes footage and video clips) of "Some People Have Real Problems" is now in stores.

Chris Sorbello - Sydney Showcase

The thing I love most about Chris Sorbello is the fact that she gets it. And by it I mean the brave new world of pop music where having a pretty face and a handful of decent songs doesn't cut it anymore. To make a real impact you need to be the complete package and stand out from the crowd - be it by focusing on image a la Lady Gaga, creating a new character (see Beyoncé's Sasha Fierce) or simply by recycling and reinterpreting the sounds of those that have gone before you in a new and interesting way like La Roux and Ladyhawke. It's a hard formula to get right but if last night's performance is any indication, Chris Sorbello is well and truly on her way. The costumes and choreography were faultless, she sounded amazing and the songs were all top notch. I've been to a lot of showcases in Sydney and London over the past couple of years and this definitely ranks as one of the most audacious and impressive.

From the moment a pair of PVC clad dancers carried the microphone on stage in a series of robotic dance moves, it was pretty clear that this wasn't going to be your standard industry event. Last night was all about putting on a show and introducing the audience to Chris Sorbello the artist. It debuted her hot new look and demonstrated how far she's come as a performer. The opening number definitely highlighted latter. Chris' version of Donna Summer's "I Feel Love" is usually a highlight of her live shows but I was completely distracted by the sexy costumes and intricate choreography (courtesy of Ramon Baynes and Marko Panzic - Beyoncé and Britney). The backing dancers were phenomenal and Chris didn't miss a beat. I managed to pull myself together for the preview of her soon to be released debut single "So Lonely", which has been given a radical overhaul by Sam La More (Empire Of The Sun, Sneaky Sound System and Pnau). I love the edgy new mix and I'm confident it will be burning up dancefloors across Australia all summer long.

The icy electro beats continued to flow with "Symbiotic". I have to admit the song never really appealed to me in the past but last night's arrangement was brilliant and suited the staging and choreography perfectly. It seemed only fitting that Chris close the show with "Dangerzone". After all, it is the title track of her recently unveiled free promo EP! I still think "Dangerzone" has huge potential and could have been a hit with a bit of polish by the right producer but I'm glad it's finally getting a release - no matter how low key. The song sounded amazing live and allowed Brisbane's finest to show off her voice and hot dance moves. As someone who has followed Chris from the start it was staggering (and more than a little touching) to see how far she's come. I can't wait for the release of her official debut single but make sure you check out "Dangerzone" in the meantime. It's too good to ignore!

Ladyhawke Live 07/11/09

The last time I saw Ladyhawke she was playing at a pub in Chatswood. Admittedly, that was prior to the release of her album and she was still better known as the (ex-)frontwoman of Teenager. Pip has had a pretty wild ride since then. She's gone on to become the poster girl of the synth-rock/pop revival and finally achieved a much deserved commercial breakthrough with the top ten hit "My Delirium". I guess last night's sold out show at The Enmore was something of a homecoming and the concert definitely felt like a party. One of the coolest things about Pip's transformation into Ladyhawke is the fact that she's carried her rock sensibility into the pop world. There's not a lot of fuss - no staging, no costume changes or special effects. Just a woman with a guitar and bunch of really, really good songs. In fact, I think she performed the entire album. The highlights for me were "Crazy World" (why wasn't this dreamy gem ever released as a single?), the brilliant "Oh My" and the best song that Pat Benatar never recorded "Back Of The Van". The encore was the evening's only misstep. Ladyhawke payed homage to her NZ countrymen with a cover of Split Enz's "Message To My Girl" before launching into a strangely sedate version of Patti Smith's "Free Money". Winding up the concert with a ballad and a song that half the crowd had never heard before was slightly awkward. Not that anyone cared when Pip closed the show with "My Delirium". All in all, a pretty fucking awesome night!

La Roux Live - 29/09/09

I've been rather unkind about La Roux in the past, calling them La Poo and describing Elly & co as a Eurythmics tribute band. Despite all that, I actually quite like their music. I just don't think recycling 80s beats and hairstyles makes them the musical revolutionaries they are often held out to be. That's not to say they don't know their way around a four minute pop song. "Bulletproof" is utterly irresistible and their ode to La Toya ("I'm Not Your Toy") is a total grower. Anyway, I jumped at the chance when I was invited to their one and only non-festival show in Sydney. I feared the concert might be painfully pretentious and a little too cool for school but it was surprisingly fun and low key. In fact, there was something distinctly old fashioned (and dare I say it - 80s) about the minimal staging and ultra brief setlist.

As far as I'm concerned, Elly Jackson IS La Roux. It's hard to take your eyes off her when she takes the stage. There's just something wonderfully alien about her appearance. I imagine if Tilda Swinton were transported back to the 80s, she'd look a little like Elly. As effortlessly charismatic as she is, I have to admit that I was slightly disappointed with her live vocals. Elly's voice is even more thin and brittle than it sounds on record and it was often hard to hear her over the band. However, when things clicked - the show was first rate. I loved hearing "Fascination" live (this is surely the album's 5th single?), "Quicksand" was a definite highlight, "In For The Kill" had the crowd in a frenzy and "I'm Not Your Toy" gets more delightful every time I hear it. They closed their incredibly brief set (they only performed 8 songs) with "Bulletproof" and it almost brought the house down. I'm still not convinced La Roux are the second coming but after Tuesday night I have a lot more time for them and their particular brand of 80s inspired pop.

Beyoncé - Live In Sydney

It's kind of scary how much my opinion of Beyoncé has changed since the release of "If I Were A Boy"/"Single Ladies" in the middle of last year. I'd always enjoyed her singles but never really made it the whole way through an album without falling asleep and was genuinely mystified by her incredible success. After all, everyone knows that Kelly and Michelle were the talented ones in Destiny's Child! Things finally clicked for me with "Sasha Fierce", which I think is pretty close to the perfect urban pop album and have basically transformed into a hardcore Bey stan. Even so, I wasn't expecting to enjoy her concert nearly as much as I did. I love her "Beyoncé Experience" live DVD and have watched it several dozen times but still found it a little boring in places. Well, I can't fault a single aspect of the "I Am…" tour. About half way through the concert I told my friend that I thought it was one of the best shows I'd ever seen and by the end of it, I was struggling to think of a better performance. Kylie puts on a bigger extravaganza, Pink is more acrobatic, Madonna was a better dancer and Barbra Streisand's voice is in a league of its own but Beyoncé pulls all four skills together better than anyone else. This post reviews the show on Friday the 19th of September at Sydney's Acer Arena. I took the pics myself (as you can probably tell).

Before I get on with reviewing the concert, I guess I should say a little something about the support acts - Jessica Mauboy and Flo Rida. Everyone knows I'm a huge fan of Jess and she proved yet again why she's currently one of the country's biggest pop stars. Her voice was in fine form and she's learning to use the stage a lot better than the last time I saw her but I have to get this off my chest. Can Sony please hire her a new stylist? Jessica is the proverbial girl next door, dressing her like a common whore - complete with thigh high vinyl fuck me boots straight from the bargain bin at Adult World - just makes her look ridiculous. Apart from that, it was a fun little showcase. I wish I could say the same for Flo Rida, who spent most of his excruciatingly long set throwing towels, shoes and jewelry into the crowd. I would have gone for a piss but I didn't want to lose my spot at the front of the stage. Things finally picked up when they started playing a Solange medley over the PA to warm up the audience (international $ucce$$ at last!) but by 9pm I was very ready for her big sister to take the stage.

I had chills when Beyoncé finally opened the show with the first verse of "Déjà Vu" and they just kept on multiplying when she burst into "Crazy In Love". The first thing that grabs you about Beyoncé is how breathtakingly beautiful she is person. I seriously got wood when she strutted down the stage in her gold Tierry Mugler corset. She was accompanied by a half naked man, so I'm giving myself the benefit of the doubt! Speaking of the stage, it was pretty simple - just a huge screen, a cat walk and her band. It was actually refreshing to see a show focus on the performer instead of trying to distract from their shortcomings with special effects and explosions. Next on the setlist was an extremely sexy rendition of "Naughty Girl" followed by two of the highlights from "B'Day". I was very happily surprised to hear the amazing #1 single that never was "Freakum Dress" live and positively beside myself when she performed "Get Me Bodied", which is one of my all time favourite Beyoncé songs. Her dancers even did the Naomi Campbell walk!

The next segment perfectly illustrates where Beyoncé has matured and developed as an artist over the past year. She's always been at home belting out catchy club bangers but I'm loving the softer, more organic side that's emerged recently. "Smash Into You" is one of the many highlights on "Sasha Fierce" and it sounds even better live. Beyoncé's voice really is a thing of beauty when she's not trying to oversing the lyrics like Leona Lewis and Celine Dion. I think she's finally realised that and turned the vocal gymnastics down a notch. In one of the concert's most fabulous over the top diva moments, she changes into a completely ridiculous see through wedding dress to perform a medley of Sarah McLachlan's "Angel" and "Ave Maria". The former was a nice surprise and the latter gave me a whole new appreciation for a song I've strangely chosen to ignore until now.

The concert then completely switched gears when Beyoncé brings sexy back in a tiny leather mini skirt to belt out a pitch perfect rendition of "If I Were A Boy". The song is given a slightly surreal rock twist by mashing it with Alanis Morrisette's "You Outta Know". Hearing Bey sing "Are you thinking of me when you fuck her?" was one of the highlights of my night! A video interlude of the diva battling a leopard (while dressed in little more than body paint) to the soundtrack of "Sweet Dreams" is visually breathtaking but I really would have preferred to see her perform it on stage. After a quick costume change, Beyoncé returned to belt out "Diva" - my least favourite song from "Sasha Fierce". I don't know if it was the fabulous bikini with headlights outfit or just hearing the crowd sing along to the ridiculous lyrics but I really enjoyed it and have been playing the track at home ever since. I'll have to edit my previous nasty comments because I think I'm finally under its tragic spell. The next song is a completely different story. "Radio" is the best track Rihanna has never released and needs to be the album's next single. It's criminal to waste something this catchy and poptastic. The segment finished on a high by revisiting one of my favourite tracks from "Dangerously In Love" - the highly underrated "Me, Myself & I", which Beyoncé dedicated to all the high and dry, desperate bitches in the audience. Bless.

After ditching the headlights, Bey performed her fabulous ode to monster cocks otherwise known as "Ego". Interestingly, it was the Kanye West remix. Next up was the great but strangely ignored "Sasha Fierce" track "Hello". I really love the lyrics and think it would have made a much better single than "Broken Hearted Girl". It was then time for a new costume, which allowed Beyoncé's buxom backing singers to take over the stage. I don't think I've ever enjoyed a costume change more in my entire life. Someone needs to give The Mamas their own record deal - they are utterly amazing in their own right. Speaking of amazingness, Beyoncé then re-appeared in a gold dress and was wrapped in harness before being hoisted above the crowd on wires. Seeing the rich man's Solange perform spins in mid-air while singing "Baby Boy" was one of the night's most spectacular moments.

My favourite part of the show took place after Bey landed on the runway and started interacting with the crowd. I know Beyoncé has a reputation for being fake but there was something undeniably real about this segment. Few performers look like they're enjoying themselves so thoroughly and it was a thrill being so close to a true superstar. Hearing the crowd loudly sing along to "Irreplaceable" was strangely touching, while "Check On It" is one of those songs I never go out of my way to listen to but always enjoy when I hear it. That tune was followed by a medley of Destiny's Child's hits, which almost brought the house down. I love it that Beyoncé embraces her past unlike some other divas I could mention. I thought the next song - "Upgrade U" was a strange choice but it was fun to hear one of the more obscure "B'Day" album tracks. Things got more than a little sexy when Bey broke into "Videophone", another piece of "Sasha Fierce" filler that has grown on me a lot over the past year. The segment ended with Beyoncé performing "Say My Name" to an audience member. All in all it was probably the best 20 minutes of any concert I've ever seen.

By the time Bey returned to perform "At Last" (complete with footage from Barack Obama's inauguration), the show had already been going for almost 2 hours and she was yet to miss a single note or dance move. Beyoncé really is pop music's ultimate professional, which strangely is the reason I think so many people hate her. She's simply better than their faves. "Dreamgirls" finally got a look in with a fabulous rendition of "Listen" but the biggest highlight was still to come. I loved seeing all the "Single Ladies" youtube videos on the big screen but watching Beyoncé perform the "Single Ladies" dance was something I'll never forget. She had the entire audience singing along and doing the hand shake. I get why Kanye dropped his bundle at the MTV Awards. I love Taylor Swift but "Single Ladies" is a true pop culture phenomenon. For the big finale, Bey performed an extended version of "Halo", which she dedicated to Michael Jackson before inviting a child on stage and singing the song to her. It was extremely cheesy and I'm not sure it's entirely tasteful to sing lyrics like "I hope you don't fade away" to a young girl obviously suffering from cancer but it was clearly heartfelt and all the people around me were crying, so maybe I'm just being a horrible cynic. Anyway, it was little more than a tiny blip on probably the best concert performance I've ever seen. Fingers crossed they release this on DVD because I already know what I want for Christmas!

Grace Jones - Hurricane Live

Fierce is a chronically overused adjective but it is the only one that adequately describes Grace Jones. She is the epitome of the word, the embodiment of all things fabulous and ferocious. Which other 60 year old diva could prowl the stage in little more than a g-string and corset, talk incessantly about her tight pussy and still come across as sexy and relevant? Given her iconic image, I fully expected the Grace Jones experience to be dark, edgy and effortlessly stylish. It was. However, I wasn't prepared for the rawness of last night's concert, the pure emotion and the grittiness. There were no production values to speak of - just an incredibly tight band, several dozen hats and Grace in all her breathtakingly bold glory.

Upon arriving, my friend quipped that the Enmore Theatre resembled "an elephant graveyard for old gays". An unkind reference to the decidedly MAG-tastic crowd. A wide spectrum of fans turned up but I'm guessing the majority still own "Warm Leatherette" on vinyl. Respect! After knocking back a few too many drinks, we navigated our way through a sea of drag queens, baby faced hipsters and grey haired gays to find the best vantage point. It wasn't long before the show began with Grace hovering above the crowd, belting out her 80s classic "Nightclubbing". The effect was mesmerising. Grace looked like an Amazonian goddess as she was lowered to the stage in her skimpy outfit and outrageous headgear. More importantly, her voice was in fine form and the band was incredible. It was apparent from the beginning that we were in for something extraordinary.

As the opening number came to a close, Grace disappeared off stage to change into a different hat - a pattern that would continue for the entire concert. It should have been disconcerting or jarring but it worked for the simple fact that Grace left her microphone on and used the opportunity to talk to the crowd from the wings. Some early highlights include "I'm just swallowing something... and it's not what you think" and "this jacket is tighter than my pussy". She returned to sing a menacing rendition of "This Is Life" from her new album "Hurricane", before pleasing the faithful with 1982's still magnificent "My Jamaican Guy". The performance was amazing but her straw man hat and potato sack ensemble constituted the first and only time that Grace crossed the line between fabulous and slightly ridiculous.

The next few songs all came from "Hurricane". Grace mentioned that "Sunset Sunrise" was written by her son and pointed him out to the crowd (he was part of the band). She then introduced "Love You To Life" by revealing that it was the first song recorded for the album and was the reason "I'm here and not smoking a spliff in Jamaica". The latter performance was fantastic but still paled in comparison to her stunning rendition of "William's Blood", which was as raw as it was spectacular. Ms Jones described it as "church music" and the arrangement really beefed up the song's gospel overtones. That track more than any other showcased Grace's deep, rich voice - the quality of which often gets overlooked in favour of her startling image. While the new material was inspiring, my highlight from the first half of the concert was "La Vie En Rose", which Grace performed while rotating around a stripper pole! It speaks volumes for quality of Ivor Guest's updated arrangement that a 70s disco anthem fit seamlessly into the funk heavy cuts from "Hurricane".

Grace donned horns to belt out a dark and menacing version of "Devil In My Life" before bringing the crowd to their feet with "Pull Up To The Bumper". Appropriately, given the song's rumoured anal sex subtext, Grace spent most of the song shaking her bare arse at the crowd like a 20 year old Brazilian stripper before inviting the audience to dance with her on stage. I feared it might be the big finale but she swiftly returned for the gentle reggae jam "Well, Well, Well" after humorously bitching about Sydney's weather ("It's hotter than fucking Jamaica!") and shark infested beaches during yet another costume change. It was then time for another classic in the form of "Love Is The Drug", which was beautifully staged with green lights reflecting off the diva's sequined top hat. I thought that would be hard act to follow but Grace upped the ante again by singing "Slave To The Rhythm" while rotating a pink hula hoop around her waist for the entire song. Quite a sight to behold!

The concert concluded with a truly epic performance of her new album's title track. Grace squeezed every inch of emotion from her voice as she sung "Hurricane" while walking towards a giant fan, long black cape billowing behind her. It was clear from her facial expression that this is more than just a song to Grace - it sums up her whole life philosophy. "Hurricane" was the most theatrical moment of the evening and the perfect end to an exceptional concert. I left the Enmore with a whole new appreciation for Grace Jones and her entire body of work. I've been inspired to fill the holes in my collection and dig deeper into this amazing woman's life. She is one of a kind and still undeniably, sometimes almost unbearably fierce.

Note: The first photo is mine, the remainder come from D-Listed.

X2008 - Opening Night In Sydney

The first Kylie show I ever saw was her "Enjoy Yourself" tour way back in 1990. It was my first ever concert and I went with my mum. Those memories have blurred over the years but I still vividly remember Kylie's ugly Australian flag outfit and bursting into tears when she left the stage. Even as a child, I guess I was immune to Minogue overload! Almost twenty years (fuck!) have passed since then but I still get just as excited about seeing Kylie. Sunday night was no exception. Despite already seeing the show in London (and having watched the UK televised broadcast at least a dozen times), I couldn't wait for Ms Minogue to hit the stage. X2008 is, quitely simply, an exquisitely conceived pop concert. The staging is fresh and original, the setlist is brave (superbly showcasing "X", while still incorporating the big hits as well as new material) and Kylie further cements her reputation as the consummate live performer by holding everything together perfectly. There have already been some amazing reviews of the concert (I suggest reading this), so I won't bother with a full rundown but here are some my random thoughts about last night's extravaganza:

* I'm cursed when it comes to cameras. Mine broke halfway during the opening act. I just can't believe it happened when I finally managed to get amazing seats for a Kylie show. The pics (above and below) were taken by my friend and fellow Melissa Tkautz devotee, Chris.

* Acer Arena is a really shit venue. The building is clinical and the facilities (particularly the food outlets) leave a lot to be desired. The stadium is also too big for the disproportionately small stage. I miss the Entertainment Centre!

* Kylie concerts provide shocking foresight into what happens to flamboyant homosexuals when they hit middle age. Note to self - Sequins, feather boas, exposed midriffs and cigarette extenders should be avoided at all costs over the age of 30.

* I love Kylie's bizarre fanbase. The mix of outrageous gays, bogan housewives and pre-pubescent girls is an experience in and of itself.

* The opening sequence is epic and Kylie's new outfit (black instead of purple) is much more flattering. Mixing "Boombox" into "Can't Get You Out Of My Head" was an inspired decision.

* No matter how hard I try to get into it, I still think "Ruffle My Feathers" is a pile of stinking shit. I'm so glad it was left off "X". Last night's version of "In Your Eyes" was also a bit of a disaster. They were either playing the wrong backing track or it's the remix from hell. I think they may have had technical difficulties because Kylie's voice was completely lost in the mix.

* The live version of "Heart Beat Rock" brought the house down - even without the complete stage. This is the perfect example of how to reinvent and improve upon a relatively ordinary album track.

* I was slightly surprised by the rapturous response to "Wow" given its less than impressive Australian chart run. It was the first song that really got everyone dancing and singing along.

* Time has not wearied the genius of "Shocked"!

* The boat from the "Beach Party" segment is missing but it doesn't really make a huge difference. "Love Boat" is as fabulous as ever but the big revelation was "Copacabana", which Steve Anderson has almost entirely re-worked for this leg of the tour. It's longer and has new lyrics. The choreography has also been changed. Kylie does a lot more dancing and there were gasps and howls of appreciation when she was spun upside down by one of the dancers. At least half the people I spoke to afterwards named "Copacabana" as their favourite part of the show, which just goes to prove how out of touch fansites like SayHey are with the general public. Australia, it seems, prefers Kylie as camp as possible.

* Personally, I think "Copacabana" is genius - working on so many different levels. Many people will just appreciate it as Kylie singing a camp classic (she throws at least one into every concert) but it's also an incredibly wry nod to Kylie handing over her own showgirl crown before she ends up like poor Lola - the name of her character in "The Delinquents", no less. I just love the irony and self-reflection on display.

* I must be hallucinating because I think Kylie mentions "darkrooms" during "Copacabana"! Did anyone else hear it? It was towards the end when she talks about Lola's fate and sings something along the lines of: that's when there was still a show but now there's just a disco and a darkroom! Maybe my drink was spiked...

* Combining elements of "Got To Be Real" into "Spinning Around" turns one of my least favourite Kylie hits into something very special.

* "Like A Drug" on the skull is perfection. This should have been a single.

* Unless I'm mistaken, last night's version of "Slow" didn't contain the sample of "Free" that was used in Europe.

* The child Kylie dragged on stage (above) was actually quite cute this time around. At least she didn't break into a medley of obscure Kylie album tracks.

* "2 Hearts" is destined to become a live classic. I think it will be the "Kids" moment of all future tours.

* Kylie spent so much more time talking during this concert than the London show. I particularly love how she tries to throw in the occasional Australianism. It's as endearing as it is unconvincing. My favourite was when she declared that she needed a "cut lunch" to get from one end of the stage to the other. Charlene would be proud!

* Intermissions are good. (Deep, I know!)

* More than 6 beers on an empty stomach makes Mike a very loud and very embarrassing boy, who is prone to dancing like an idiot.

* The Manga section didn't really work as well as I remembered. "Come Into My World" was stilted, while "Nu-Di-Ty" and "Sen-SHIT-ized" had people sitting back down in their seats. I still love the staging and costume (I think there were more acrobatics last night than in London) but putting the two worst songs on "X" together was never the brightest idea.

* "Flower" is one of the most beautiful songs Kylie has ever performed. I got chills and goosebumps! It's a complete scandal that this didn't make the cut for "X". Kylie was born to sing this anthem.

* I still don't like "I Believe In You" as a ballad.

* Act 7 was AMAZING. "On A Night Like This" got the party started, while "Your Disco Needs You" had people dancing in the aisles. The response to "Kids" was incredible (can someone please explain why this song only works live?) and "Step Back In Time" drove all the pissed mums from the Western Suburbs into a frenzy. I've never seen so many Breezers swaying through the air!

* The fun continued with "In My Arms", which was received like a #1 hit - not a massive #35 flop. Act 7 closed with a re-worked version of "Better The Devil You Know", which was missing from the London concert I saw. I'm not a huge fan of the Latin overhaul but Kylie seemed to have a lot of fun blowing that damned whistle.

* Having so many obscure songs in the seemingly endless encore section is perhaps unwise. I know Kylie loves it but "No More Rain" really is a stinker and it went down like a lead balloon. Following that up with (an adorable acoustic version of) her international flop "All I See" left some fans looking a little confused but I loved it.

* I like the version of "The One" she performed last night much better than her rendition in London. It started acoustically before the dancers joined her for the remixed version and ended with Kylie kneeling on stage singing "love me, love me". Amazingly, she actually looked like she was enjoying the song for a change.

* I have serious "Love At First Sight" fatigue. Kylie could happily stop performing it for a couple of years as far as I'm concerned. "I Should Be So Lucky", on the other hand, was an absolute treat and brought the house down.

* Who do I have to fuck to get Kylie to perform "Word Is Out" or "Never Too Late"?

In conclusion, X2008 is every bit as fantastic as I remember. Last night's concert wasn't quite as polished as the show I saw in London but it was warmer and much more personal. It's quite amazing to think how much material is covered. This kind of value for money is almost unprecedented. The Australian setlist might be a bit too generous (it does drag in places) but the overall effect is still breathtaking. Most importantly, the concert brilliantly showcases an excellent and sadly misunderstood album that deserved a better reaction from fans and critics alike. X2008 is the crowning jewel of the entire "X" era and makes the shitty single choices, dodgy videos and cheap cash-in albums seem insignificant. This extravaganza is not to be missed.

Isabel Guzman's UK Debut

There aren't too many acts I would leave my hospital bed to go and see but I literally did just that for Isabel Guzman, discharging myself from Charing Cross A&E at 6pm to make it to the concert on time - complete with hospital wristband and ECG tags still attached! While perhaps not the wisest decision, there was no way I was going to miss the Swedish sensation's UK debut. From the moment I heard "Love Song" on Rob's brilliant Don't Stop The Pop way back in July 2007, I've been completely smitten. I hate to think how much time Rob and I have spent dissecting Isabel's brilliant demos and planning her future world domination. Needless to say, the opportunity to see the woman strut her stuff at Pop Justice Live was positively irresistible and she did not disappoint. Isabel was completely fucking AMAZING. Sadly, the same can't be said about the other acts on the bill.

Antigone - doing Australia proud

I don't want to waste too much time writing about the rest of the line up because, quite frankly, they were all shit. 15 year old Charli XCX displayed no discernible talent apart from the ability to roll around on a table with her legs in the air. The next performer to hit the stage was my much hyped compatriot Antigone, who rocked up looking like Ronald McDonald's banged up love child. The girl definitely knows how to work a crowd but her voice was shaky and none of her other tracks live up to the promise of "More Man Than Man", which she memorably sang to a blow-up doll lying on an ironing board. Kudos though for dragging Pop Justice Live further down into the gutter. I was actually looking forward to the third act. I saw a Red Blooded Women showcase a couple of months ago and was quite impressed with the girls but they weren't up to scratch last night. The highlight was Candy complaining of a mouth ulcer between songs. Enough said.


After listening to the dregs of the pop world ply their trade for two hours, Isabel's UK debut couldn't come quickly enough. Mercifully, it was worth the wait. From the moment Isabel took to the stage with her fantastic (and very hot!) three piece band, it was immediately clear that we were about to witness something special. The set opened with a stunning new track called "There Must Be Something", which perfectly showcased Isabel's impressive pipes and her knack for writing an insanely catchy chorus. The song has hit written all over it. Next up was Isabel's UK debut "Mysterious". I really like the studio version (check out my review) but the band breathed new life into the track. It sounded darker and heavier - with no trace of "My Sherona" to be heard! Speaking of re-worked tunes, "All In Your Head" has also been given a complete makeover. I wasn't a huge fan of the original version but the new edit packs one hell of a punch.


If I had to choose a highlight of the evening it would be Isabel's exquisite rendition of "Love Song" - without a doubt THE best unreleased pop anthem of recent years. I'm sure I've listened to the track at least once a day for the past 15 months, so finally hearing it performed live (with Rob, no less!) was utterly magical. If the electric response from the audience is any indication, "Love Song" has the potential to be absolutely massive. One of the most interesting aspects of the show was the extent to which previously leaked songs have been refined and improved. I loved "The First Time" when Isabel briefly posted it on her Myspace several months ago but the version she performed on Monday night was in a completely different league. Imagine a cross between 80s Madonna and Dannii circa "Neon Nights" and you get some indication of the track's brilliance. The final song was an edgy dance anthem called "In The Heat Of The Night", which expertly displayed Isabel's versatility and crazy dance moves. In fact, the Swedish diva was a revelation from beginning to end. Isabel is deceptively tiny but she has real presence and a killer set of pipes. It doesn't hurt that she's also gorgeous and an absolute sweetheart! Consider the UK well and truly rocked.