Ke$ha's Animal - Pop Trash Review

This review took me about six weeks to write. At this rate, I'll be commenting on "Sweet 7" some time in December. The reason for the delay is actually quite simple. Basically, I can't decide whether I should build a shrine to Ke$ha in my bedroom or view her exploding popularity as a sure sign that the Apocalypse is nigh. I initially thought of her as a canny Lady GaGa wannabe but I couldn't have been more wrong. I wouldn't be surprised if the fame monster begins each recording session by pouring over Italian Vogue before masturbating to the latest Lars Von Trier film in a John Galliano gown to get in the mood, while Ke$ha just rolls out of the gutter and sings about her hangover and overworked vagina. The thing is - I really want to be on team Ke$ha. She's a dirty skank who just wants to fuck and party, which makes her indistinguishable from 90% of my friends. The problem is that she's a one trick pony. "Animal" is by no means a bad album - in fact, parts of it compare favourably to "The Fame" - it's just incredibly limited in its scope. I like songs about getting drunk, fucking and fame whoring as much as the next gay but by the 15th ode to excess, I just wanted to gulp down a litre of carrot juice and scrub my genitals with industrial strength disinfectant. I'm not hating on Ke$ha because I genuinely admire her idiosyncratic lyrics, catchy hooks and fuck you attitude. I just hope she follows Lady GaGa's lead and takes things to the next level on her sophomore album. In the meantime, I'll give her the benefit of the doubt. Here is my track by track review:

Your Love Is My Drug

"Maybe I need some rehab or maybe just need some sleep" really sets the tone for the album. However, the opening track is actually kind of sweet. "Your Love Is My Drug" is probably the closest thing to a straightforward pop song on "Animal". The production (courtesy of heavyweights like Dr Luke and Benny Blanco) bounces along happily, while Ke$ha's lyrics are surprisingly cute. I like the line about having "a slumber party in her basement"... on second thoughts that could be a really nasty metaphor! This is an obvious choice for the album's third single but I'd prefer "Animal", "Stephen" or "Kiss N Tell".

Tik Tok

There isn't much to say about this polarising party anthem. I know a lot of people consider it juvenile trash but I think "Tik Tok" is a modern classic that will still be on high rotation at 40th birthday parties in 2030. Give the song's fabulous parody a listen. It's already top 5 on Australian iTunes, which is a testament to the extent to which "Tik Tok" has already become ingrained in popular culture.

Take It Off

Is this jam really about a sex on venue premises? Ke$ha should do a tour of gay saunas. Bitch would be in 7th heaven! I know I complained about the number of slut anthems on "Animal" but this is one of the album's best and holds up as a crisply produced pop gem. Moreover, "Take It Off" has my favourite lyric of 2010: "got my drunk text on, I'll regret it in the morn". I thought I was the only person who goes clubbing and shamelessly spends half the night sending inappropriate texts. I feel so validated!

Kiss N Tell

Max Martin's first contribution to the album is a real standout. Something special happens when the Swede combines with Dr Luke and "Kiss N Tell" is no exception. The production is an interesting Katy Perry meets Britney mash, while Ke$ha's amusing lyrics offer a witty take on the cheating boyfriend genre. Instead of playing the victim, homegirl goes on the offensive by memorably calling her man a slut and ridiculing his manhood. Fair play. Think of this as an inferior but still extremely enjoyable version of "Hot N Cold".

Stephen

Ok, by this point I was ready to devote my life to stalking Ke$ha at underground sex parties. "Animal" begins very impressively but it's all downhill after this song. However, there's no denying the poptastic brilliance of "Stephen". It's so different from everything else on the album. There are glimpses of genuine emotion and even a moment or two of vulnerability. I particularly love the lyrics, which range from amusingly delusional ("I watched your ugly girlfriend sneer across the room, as if I really care that she's here with you") to wonderfully demented - "I'll knit you a sweater, I'll wanna wrap you up in my love forever!" Another highlight is David Gamson's oddball production, which reflects his 80s glory years with Scritti Politti. I'd love this to be a single but it's probably just a tad too weird and wonderful.

Blah Blah Blah (Featuring 3OH3!)

The title sums up this aural turd perfectly. Sorry, slut but Katy Perry did this first and slightly better on admittedly awful "Starstrukk". Whoever chose this as the second single deserves a bullet.

Hungover

Dr Luke and Max Martin return to helm the pop tart's first attempt at a ballad and it's not as awful as some critics would have you believe. Admittedly, autotune is Ke$ha's friend and the lyrics are abysmal ("even my dirty laundry smells like you") but there's an edge to her voice that I actually find appealing and the subtle synths work nicely. Think P!nk's "Sober" sung by a trashed bitch at karaoke and you get the general idea.

Party At A Rich Dude's House

This song is so bad it's amazing! Apparently Ke$ha wrote the song after vomiting in Paris Hilton's closet while laying down backing vocals on "Nothing In This World" - one of my all time favourite songs! For that alone this trash deserves a Grammy. The driving guitar and punk attitude also make a nice change. I would probably enjoy "Party At A Rich Dude's House" a lot more if I were a drink away from passing out in an alley but listening to it sober, there's no denying that it's quite shit. Chalk this up as a twisted guilty pleasure.

I actually imported this shit from Italy!

Backstabber

"Backstabber" is a total grower. I hated it at first but now the song reminds me of the electro-rock experiments on Ashlee Simpson's criminally under-appreciated "Bittersweet World" album. That said, Ke$ha isn't quite in the same league as Ashlee when it comes to musical genius but everyone can identify with these lyrics. In fact, I could dedicate this anthem to quite a few people and probably will when I get my drunk text on! Not exactly single material but accomplished filler nonetheless.

Blind

Copy and paste everything I said about "Hungover". Ballads are clearly not Ke$ha's forte but the guitar driven chorus at least helps "Blind" stand out from the rest of the album.

Dinosaur

If nothing else, "Dinosaur" proves that even Max Martin still has a few new tricks up his sleeve. I can't think of anything in his canon of hits that even sounds remotely similar to this. The production rips off pays homage to that classic Was Not Was jam "Walk The Dinosaur" (fuck, I'm old!) and the lyrics are hilarious - "not long till you're a senior citizen and you can strut around with a sexy tank of oxygen"! It's about time someone wrote a song about dirty old men and I suggest this be played on a weekly basis at The Midnight Shift.

Dancing With Tears In My Eyes

This is a surprisingly insightful dance anthem about regret. After half a dozen mediocre tracks about partying, it's a relief to hear something with a bit of heart. Lyrics like "on the floor I'm just a zombie, who I am is not who I want to be" and "I've wasted the love of my life" are surprisingly self aware by Ke$ha's standards and the Dr Luke/Benny Blanco production is admirably restrained. Fans of Lady GaGa's "So Happy I Could Die" should enjoy this. A definite step in the right direction.

Boys & Boots

Of the 40 or so Ke$ha demos floating around the internet prior to the album's release, Tom Neville's "Boys & Boots" is one of the few to make the final cut. I would have gone with "Friday Night Bitch Fight" for pure comedy value or the surprisingly lovely "CUNxTuesday" (don't be put off by the fabulous title!) but this slinky little pop tune is catchy and cute. It also shows off the diva's versatility. She's not all quirky one liners and autotune.

Animal

I love Greg Kurstin. Anyone who can contribute gems to talents as diverse as Kylie, Sia and Ladyhawke is clearly a genius and he doesn't disappoint here. The album's title track is a shiny pop gem with a genuine hands in the air chorus that doesn't rely on studio trickery or filthy lyrics to be memorable. Ke$ha clearly has a lot of potential, songs like "Animal" stand up to anything on "The Fame". I just wish she'd stop trying to be America's answer to Lily Allen and put a lid on the bratty lyrics.

BONUS TRACKS

V.I.P.

Another song that has been floating around the internet for the best part of a year. It's not particularly good and makes you wonder who culled Ke$sha's impressive stash of demos.

Dirty Picture (featuring Taio Cruz)

Now, this is a fun. I love Taio Cruz and his voice combines surprisingly well with Ke$ha's. The song sounds like a reject from David Guetta's "One Love" album but that's not a bad thing. At all. I like the electro beats and can imagine a decent DJ turning this into something wonderful. Definitely worth hunting down for dance fans.

RATING: 7/10

Livvi Franc's Automatik Classic

I could turn you loose, baby what's the use?
I come back to you like automatic

Last year I chatted with a little known singer called Livvi Franc about her debut single "Now I'm That Bitch". In the interview the upcoming diva boasted about working with super producer RedOne (Lady GaGa, Little Boots, Sugababes etc) on her next single and promised to show a different side of herself by delivering "a club banger". Well, lovely Livvi was true to her word. "Automatik" is a breathtaking dance anthem that should be the Barbadian beauty's calling card to mainstream chart success. I'm not RedOne's biggest fan - it seems like everyone but Lady GaGa gets served up the same old shit - but Livvi obviously caught the Swede on a very good day. The production is less intrusive than usual, showcasing the surprisingly vulnerable lyrics with pristine beats and pretty synths. I love upbeat pop songs with a slightly bittersweet twist (think Kylie's "Better The Devil You Know") and "Automatik" is a superb addition to the genre. I'm not sure about the video (below), which is trying to be Beyoncé on a Michelle Williams sized budget but who cares when the song is this good? Strike up Livvi's jam as one of the first killer pop tunes of 2010.

Tania Foster & The Best Unreleased Song Of 2010

One of the best things about writing this blog is occasionally stumbling across a truly brilliant unreleased pop track. I still remember the first time I heard Isabel Guzman's "Love Song". There was just something incredibly special about it and I'm convinced it would have been huge if Isabel hadn't turned into the Swedish Kate Bush and gone into self-imposed exile. Chris Sorbello's "So Lonely" is another gem that immediately comes to mind. With a sexy video in the can and a major label now behind her, you can expect to hear a lot more of that stunning anthem over the next few months. The latest addition to my list of future hits is Tania Foster's fabulous "Supawoman" (below). The British diva is probably best known for providing back-up vocals for Tinchy Stryder but if her demos are any indication, it's only a matter of time before she hits the big time herself. I'm a huge fan of the current urban dance explosion (think Taio Cruz, Jason DeRulo and Iyaz) and "Supawoman" is striking example of someone putting their own spin on the genre by introducing electronic elements and a pure pop chorus. Imagine Keri Hilson crossed with Sugababes circa "Sweet 7" and you get the general idea of Tania's sound. The production needs a bit of a polish and the rap interlude is slightly unnecessary but "Supawoman" is an incredible calling card for a major talent. This has radio hit written all over it.

Check out Tania's Myspace for more info on this amazing diva

How On Earth Did This Flop?

In my own little universe Mini Viva's "I Wish", or more specifically the gorgeous Cahill radio edit (below), is a multi-platinum #1 smash hit. I love everything about the poptastic duo's second single. There's an unusual softness to the wistful lyrics, which are perfectly cradled by a lush symphony of synths before exploding into the kind of joyous chorus not heard since the disco era. Just when you thought Xenomania's creative well had run drier than Susan Boyle's ladybits, the producers serve up their best song since Kylie's "Made Of Glass" - only to see it stall at a floptastic #73 on the UK charts. What the fuck? The track is infinitely superior to "Left My Heart In Tokyo" and that landed safely in the top 10. I know "I Wish" was released during the hectic Christmas period but did everyone with taste flee Great Britain in its week of release? If nothing else, Mini Viva's stunning flop makes me less apprehensive about Kylie's rumoured collaboration with Xenomania on her next album. Something along the lines of "I Wish" would suit her perfectly - even if it is chart poison! Hopefully, the girls bounce back with single number three. They put The Saturdays and Girls Aloud to shame.

Mercan Puts The Needle On Dannii

Mercan is officially my new favourite diva. Not only does she have a name that sounds suspiciously like a pubic wig, the hot mess has just unveiled a stunning cover of Dannii's 2002 international smash hit "Put The Needle On It" - in Turkish! Despite minutes of painstaking research, Mercan remains a total mystery to me. I have no idea if she's a superstar or complete nobody in her homeland but if "Sana Değil Kardeşine" is any indication, the platinum blonde goddess deserves to be bigger than Beyoncé. Her version is as slinky and slutty as the original, while her ability to dress like an even less feminine Lady GaGa is quite an achievement. You just know Dannii got her vibe on when she saw Mercan dolled up in that feathered monstrosity! Watching this masterpiece makes me miss the "Neon Nights" era even more than usual. How could the Queen of clubs go from making decade defining hits like "Put The Needle On It" to churning out butchered club instrumentals that would Kelly Llorenna hang her head in shame? I guess that's a question for another day but hopefully this Turkish tribute inspires Dannii to reach for new heights when she finally returns to the studio. A big thanks to Diva Incarnate for bringing Mercan to my attention!

La Toya Covers Whitney - Live In Poland!

I don't know how we all survived before Youtube. One minute you're aimlessly trawling through old Taka Boom videos, the next you stumble across a freshly uploaded clip of the Pope of Pop belting out "I Just Wanna Dance With Somebody" in 1993. Needless to say, Toy Toy's stunning performance is a sight to behold. Anyone lucky enough to own a copy of "Live At Balleys" knows the unparalleled brilliance of a La Toya concert and she really brought her A game to Poland. Believe me, the former Eastern Block was well and truly rocked by our Queen's electric dance moves and magnetic stage presence - not to mention the high budget production values (ie. a smoke machine) and a costume which redefines the very essence of glamour! The highlight for me is Toy's hilarious disclaimer at the beginning that she doesn't require audience participation, closely followed by her orgasmic squeals. The thinking man's Jackson really does have the voice of an angel using a vibrator. I don't think it's a coincidence that Whitney went off the rails in early 90s. She clearly caught wind of this performance and knew that La Toya had her beat in the beauty and talent stakes. It's not easy living in Toy's shadow - just ask Janet!

Sony Drops Amy Pearson

Amy Pearson's next gig?

In the year's most unsurprising development, Amy Pearson has been kicked to the curb by Sony Australia. Rumours have been circulating for a while now but sources close to the singer have confirmed that she has officially "parted ways" with her record company. I'm gutted. Amy's first album was a Delta-lite abomination but I loved her new direction. I know I ridiculed her desperate transformation from girl next door to sleazy dance diva in a post last October but I also hailed "Butterfingers" as the "best song about arse play since Pull Up To The Bumper" and included it in my best of 2009 countdown. Unfortunately, the rest of Australia wasn't as willing to overlook Amy's tragic makeover or her frigid librarian on GHB dance moves. "Butterfingers" ultimately failed to dent the top 100 despite its A List producer and top notch remixes - leaving everyone with egg on their face.

It's a shame because I think Amy was just starting to grow into her new sound. The rest of "Aftershock" (her scrapped album) is much less confronting than "Butterfingers" and contains some killer tunes - especially the title track and "Ten Steps". Either would have made a more appropriate lead single, showcasing the diva's new style but not completely alienating her old fans. Happily, it's not all doom and gloom for Amy. There are rumours that she might release the album "via other means" and I know she recently collaborated with one of Australia's hottest dance outfits on a track to be released later in the year. Until then, I'd like to pay tribute to singer's stint at Sony and wish her all the best for the future. "Butterfingers" might have sank like the Titanic but it made me a fan!

2007 - Don't Miss You (#19)
2007 - Not Me (#37)
2008 - Ready To Fly (#40)
2009 - Butterfingers (Did Not Chart)

Oh and here's Amy working her fabulous butterfingers in a rare live TV performance of her notorious flop. I actually think this is great. She seems much more at ease with the dance steps and her voice sounds amazing.