Toni Collette's Music Career Looks Up

No matter how hard I try, I can't seem to separate Toni Collette from Muriel Heslop, the titular character from "Muriel's Wedding". It's not like Toni has been sitting on her arse since 1994. She received an Oscar nomination for "The Sixth Sense", stole the show in "Little Miss Sunshine", matched it with Nicole and Meryl in "The Hours" and played a frighteningly convincing drag queen in "Connie & Carla". And yet, Toni will always be that silly, fat mole from Porpoise Spit to me. And I mean that as a compliment. "Muriel's Wedding" is one of my favourite movies, I must have watched it at least 20 times and can quote most of the dialogue verbatim. Maybe that's why I was initially disappointed by Toni's music. I almost expected her to release an album of ABBA covers, preferably with Toni dressed as Agnetha on the cover. Instead, she delivered a sedate set of self-penned tunes, aimed squarely at people who don't fall asleep listening to Sarah Blasko.

Toni released her debut single, "Beautiful Awkward Pictures", in September last year on a small indie label. To be completely honest, if the song had not been performed by Toni Collette, I doubt I would have listened to it twice. It's not that "Beautiful Awkward Pictures" is terrible. In fact, it's evocative and quite pretty in a morose kind of way. Toni is obviously a gifted songwriter and has a fine voice. "Beautiful Awkward Pictures" is just not my cup of tea. If I want to feel depressed, I'll put on some Aimee Mann instead. At least she is consistent in her misery. The song does have a lovely video clip, which involves Toni strolling along an empty beach, and it grew on me enough to purchase Toni's debut album, also titled "Beautiful Awkward Pictures".

"Beautiful Awkward Pictures" got a few spins on my stereo - usually when I was drunk or stoned - but it never really clicked for me until I saw Toni in concert. I think I needed to see her on stage with a group of musicians to dispel the lingering thoughts of Muriel from my mind and be able to take Toni's music on its merits. Toni is a charismatic woman and hearing her perform the album live really helped me put the songs in context. One of the highlights of the album is the recently released second single, "Look Up". I much prefer "Look Up", with its literate verses, sweet chords and delicate instrumentation, to the first single. "Look Up" is an excellent pop song and deserved a higher chart placing than #61. The video is also cute. Check out Toni's killer red heels. I'm guessing she stole those from the set of "Connie & Carla"!
Toni's album is definitely a grower and she makes a welcome addition to the Australian music scene. She's not exactly in Dannii Minogue's league of fabulousness but I'd take Toni over dreary bitches like Missy Higgins and Dullta any day. I have uploaded album versions of the first two singles and one of my favourite live tracks. Give Toni's music a listen, you might be pleasantly surprised.

You can still purchase both singles and Toni's album from Sanity and Chaos or download them from iTunes. Both singles are worth purchasing for their bonus tracks, the "Beautiful Awkward Pictures" single includes an interesting song about "The Hours".

Ride On Dolly's Peace Train!

The best (and only!) present I received this Easter came from my dear friend and tranny icon, Deirdre Halliwell. Knowing my appreciation for all things Dolly, Deirdre thoughtfully sent me the US Maxi single of Ms Parton's "Walking On Sunshine" - highly regarded among Dolly's fagtastic fanbase for the fabulous dance remixes of "Peace Train". In addition to the divine reworkings of Cat Stevens' 70s anthem, the single also contains four remixes of Dolly's classic "Two Doors Down" and three mixes of "Walking On Sunshine".

Dolly's versions of "Peace Train" and "Walking On Sunshine" first appeared on her 1996 album, "Treasures". I'm not sure how the amazing remixes came about but I remember there were rumours that Dolly was working on a "dance" album, which sadly never eventuated. I adore Dolly's country output but even a brief return to her disco pop glory days would have been a massive treat. Unfortunately, it wasn't to be.

I love the mixes of "Walking On Sunshine" and "Two Doors Down" but the highlight is definitely "Peace Train", which is still on high rotation in gay clubs around the globe. The African chanting on the Junior Vasquez Mix is interesting, the Bounce Euro Mix is trashtastic and Junior's Arena Mix will satisfy clubbers. However, as far as I'm concerned, it's all about the poptastic Holly Roller remix!

These remixes are a slice of pop trash heaven and I had to share them. Thanks again, Deirdre! I also need to thank MSB for lovely picture. You can try looking for the single on Ebay or Amazon but it is becoming increasingly hard to find.

I should also point out that Dannii's Dirty Box has had a couple of minor updates over the past couple of weeks.

The King Of Queer Pop - Pete Burns

Pete Burns is an enduring oasis of originality and wit in the increasingly dull world of pop. As the outrageous driving force behind Dead Or Alive, Pete stands alone as the only gay pop star to represent the queer community with any sense of flair or authenticity. If Boy George would put down that bowl of ice cream and do something apart from making bad house records under a seemingly endless stream of aliases, he might actually provide Pete with some competition. I have also become fond of George Michael as he has transformed into a fat drug addict with a beat fetish. However, the boring nature of his music negates his increasingly fabulous image. That leaves us with a pack of pathetic cunts like Will Young, Mika, Elton John and Anthony Callea. They should all be locked away in a soon to be demolished building as a public service to the gay community. In a gay pop star battle royale, Pete Burns would be the only queen left standing.

Many people disagree with the high esteem in which I place Pete Burns. His detractors usually refer to the fact that he was married to a woman for 25 years before coming out, ridicule his supposed plastic surgery addiction and claim that he has been milking one song ("You Spin Me Round") for almost a quarter of a century. I would reply by pointing out that Pete has had the same gender-bending image since day one. The videos for early Dear Or Alive songs are so overtly gay that I can hardly believe they were ever shown on morning television. Pete is far from the only gay man to have been married before coming out and he has been incredibly open about his sexuality since meeting his long term boyfriend. As far as the plastic surgery comments are concerned, any ageing diva worth their gay fanbase has been under the knife. If anything, Pete's changing visage only adds to his fabulous allure. The final criticism is interesting because until very recently, I would have agreed. Despite being a fan, my knowledge of Dead Or Alive came to a screeching halt with 1988's "Nude" album. I was aware that the band had continued releasing material in Japan but assumed it must be second rate junk. I have Max to thank for opening my eyes to the delights of Dead Or Alive's brilliant Japanese material and I am devoting this post to covering the band's output from 1990's "Fan The Flame (Part 1)" to 2000's "Fragile".

Dead Or Alive's success in Japan in nothing less than astonishing. If Wikipedia is to be believed, the band has scored nine #1 albums in Japan and seventeen #1 singles. I'm sure these were #1 hits on the Japanese International Chart but that makes the achievement no less impressive. Dead Or Alive's first Japan only album was 1990's excellent "Fan The Flame (Part 1)". The album marked a departure from the band's usual output in both sound and lyrics. The sound had evolved from the typical Hi-NRG beats of their early material to explore a richer sonic pallet. The result is something akin to Stock Aiken Waterman on acid. I particularly love "Unhappy Birthday" with its darkly amusing tale of a fucked up birthday party. I can definitely relate. The theme of shitty celebrations continues with "Blue Christmas", which I believe is the band's very first ballad. I'm surely I'll have this on high rotation in December. The gorgeous "Lucky Day" finds Pete in a much lighter mood. The video for the album's lead single, "Your Sweetness Is Your Weakness", is worth checking out for Pete's La Toya Jackson inspired outfit!

It took several line-up changes and five years until the release of "Nukleoptra", which was not only released in Japan but also found its way to Australia and a couple of other countries due to popularity of the club hit, "Sex Drive". "Nukleopatra" is my favourite of Dead Or Alive album. It is surely one of the campest recordings ever released and shows off the band's fabulous new dance pop sound to great effect. The album was Pete's first since leaving his wife and officially coming out and these events are reflected in the lyrics. For example, the title track sends up Pete's gender bending image with a fabulous lyric about forming a "she-male race", while "I'm A Star" contains hilariously bitchy lyrics about George Michael and Take That. It also boasts several memorable lines about "riding" a DJ. "International Thing" is a more straightforward dance pop song, while "Sleep With You" is a down and dirty slut anthem. Throw in the international club hit, "Sex Drive" and the band's cover of David Bowie's "Rebel Rebel" and you have one of the most enjoyable pop albums of the 1990s.

Dead Or Alive released "Fragile" in Japan in 2000 and, rather predictably, it hit #1. The first single, "Hit And Run Lover" also reached the top spot and the video clip is a thing of beauty. "Fragile" is predominantly a remix album but also includes several new tracks. The new tracks are interesting and find the band experimenting with a harder club sound. "Fragile" is a very good record but there is a bit more filler than killer. Nevertheless, "I Paralyze" is something of a club stomper, while "Isn't It A Pity" provides another commentary on his evolving image. Pete's talent for witty lyrics are on full display with several funny lines. In my opinion, the album's best pop song is the anthemic "Just What I Always Wanted", which strikes me as being more than a little autobiographical.

It has now been almost a decade since Dead Or Alive released their last completely new studio album. There have been greatest hits compilations, remix albums and various re-releases of "You Spin Me Round" to keep fans satisfied but it is high time that Pete made a proper comeback and put all the pretenders back in their place. Thanks again to Max for opening my eyes to this fantastic period in Dead Or Alive's amazing career.

Help cover Pete's plastic surgery fees by purchasing one or all of these fabulous albums from Amazon or Ebay.

Craptastic Covers Vol 2 - Motown Re-Visited

There are few things as enjoyable as a craptastic cover version of a classic song. As far as I'm concerned, the more inappropriate the interpretation, the better! I posted a collection of wonderfully tragic Supremes covers a couple of weeks ago and I thought I would continue the Motown theme with three intriguing interpretations of "I Can't Help Myself". I elaborated on the pitiful circumstances behind La Toya's appalling yet irresistible album of Motown classics in my last post. Toy Toy's take on "I Can't Help Myself" was only single released from that album. I am told it sold about five copies to deaf people in Germany. The song is as terrible as everything else on the album but as a slice of ridiculous pop, you will be hard pushed to find something that matches La Toya's incredibly disinterested, Euro-house interpretation of The Four Tops' classic. I love it!

I devoted a post to the Teen Queens late last year. In short, the Teen Queens were a successful 90s Australian girlband who specialised in covers of hits from the 1960s. The girls not only covered old classics but continued with the vintage theme for their outfits and videos. The fabulous bitches look like they have just raided Gidget's wardrobe. "I Can't Help Myself" was one of the Teen Queens' final singles before they parted ways. The song is quite faithful to the original, perhaps a little too faithful.

I am completely disgusted with myself that this is the first appearance of the inimitable Dolly Parton on Pop Trash Addicts. I worship the ground that Dolly totters across in her sky high stilettos. My mother is a huge Dolly fan and I grew up listening to the sweet sounds of "Coat Of Many Colours", "Jolene" and "Here You Come Again". One of the fun rarities in Dolly's vast catalogue of music is her album of 60s cover versions, "The Great Pretender". The album is unusually hit and miss by Dolly's lofty standards but let's be honest. The woman could sing the NaTRASHa Bedingfield songbook and make it bearable. Dolly's version of "I Can't Help Myself" almost sounds like a demo, such is the minimalism of the production. I have the feeling that Dolly was thinking about more important matters like world peace or getting her nails done when she recorded this. Nevertheless, it is Dolly and it is therefore monumentally fabulous.

The Gayest Video Ever?

I was immediately intrigued when I received an e-mail with a link for Ultra Nate's new video, "Automatic". I love Ultra Nate and had a sneaking suspicion that it might be a cover of the old Pointer Sisters' classic, which is one of my favourite songs. Well, my suspicion was right. Ultra Nate has done The Pointer Sisters proud with a stunning cover version that has the potential to not only conquer dance floors around the globe but also make the transition to pop radio. Ultra Nate is one of the most sorely underrated divas in music today and this stomping dance anthem is a reminder of just how good she can be when given the right material. I can't wait to hear the remixes!

And then there is the video. Warning - you may need a cigarette and a lie down after watching this! Ultra Nate looks absolutely stunning but it's hard to pay too much attention to her with that naked man typing on his keyboard. It's even more distracting when the said naked man looks like Gerard Butler after a stint in prison! I think it's fair to say that Ms Nate is appealing to the gays and the fabulous bitch has got me hook, line and sinker! My favourite part begins at about 2.40 minutes (or at 45 seconds in reverse). You wont see that on Video Hits! Just between you and me, I have the same reaction every time I check out The Church Of La Toya. I was also very impressed by the blow up doll outfit, which I interpret as a fitting tribute to the legendary and sorely missed Leigh Bowery. Expect to see this playing on screens in a gay club near you!

The Australian Club Smash Of 2007

TV Rock are currently sitting at #15 on the Australian Charts with their 3rd single, "The Others". They are experiencing even greater success on the Club Chart, where "The Others" is still #1 after already spending two months at the summit. TV Rock is made up of Grant Smillie and Ivan Gough, two of Australia's best known DJs. Apart from being rather easy on the eyes, the boys have a habit of creating catchy dance anthems that are simultaneously annoying and highly addictive. Like every other Australian poof, I spent the majority of 2006 getting down to TV Rock's debut single, "Flaunt It". That song ended up being the highest selling single of 2006 and won the group a handful of ARIA Awards.

I wasn't particularly impressed with the group's debut album and their second single, "Bimbo Nation", was astoundingly awful. Therefore, it was something of a surprise when TV Rock emerged early this year with a new sound and another killer track. "The Others" is actually credited to TV Rock Vs Dukes Of Windsor and is basically a remix of an old Dukes Of Windsor song. You can hear the original version of "The Others" on Dukes Of Windsor's Myspace. TV Rock have transformed an unusually catchy indie rock song into a dance floor stomper. I have no idea what the song is about because, quite frankly, the lyrics make no sense. I can't help thinking of that Nicole Kidman ghost movie of the same name! Whatever the song's inspiration, it is undeniably fantastic. I have uploaded the excellent Kam Denny Mix.

You can purchase the single from Chaos and Sanity. Check out TV Rock's funky website for more information on the band.

Requiem For An Orange Goddess

Kelly Llorenna cuts a striking figure on the stage. Her lean, orange body glows like a Renaissance sculpture dipped in a barrel of fake tan, her ever-present sunglasses create an air of alluring mystery and her measured strut announces the presence of a true diva. The mere sight of Kelly is enough to throw her core audience of unwed teenage mothers and derelict homosexuals into an uncontrollable frenzy, which only abates when Ms Llorenna deigns to open her gorgeous trout pout and unleash those golden pipes. Make no mistake. Kelly Llorenna, or K. Lo to her army of devoted fans, is pop trash royalty and this tribute has been long overdue. As Kelly's star plummets faster than Halley's comet in the wake of her recent chart disaster, take a moment to reflect on the musical gifts that Kelly Llorenna has enriched our lives with over the past 15 years.

In 1992 a tremor of genius shook the pop world when Kelly provided vocals for the N-Trance anthem, "Set You Free". The song flopped twice before finally becoming a massive hit in 1995. The success of the song resulted in Kelly signing a solo deal. Her first single, the divine "Brighter Day" made the top 40 but AATW Records quickly decided that Kelly would be more suited to collaborating with N-Trance. However, before returning to the band, Kelly recorded two of the most fabulous unreleased singles of the 1990s. Kelly's cover of the classic "One Day I'll Fly Away" represented a huge change of pace. The choice of song was a stroke of genius and the remixes were excellent. Strangely, the song was scrapped just after promos were released. Unfortunately, Kelly's equally fabulous "All I Wanna Do" (not a Dannii cover!) suffered a similar fate. I first heard the song on Deirdre Halliwell's criminally under-appreciated music blog, Cheesy Pop Music. "All I Wanna Do" really is something of a lost dance classic. This stunning anthem was another hit in waiting but sadly, was also scrapped.

Given Kelly's seeming inability to actually get a solo single released, she returned to the N-Trance fold and scored a multitude of hits over the next 5 years. However, Kelly was still desperate to establish her solo career. So, she released a cover of Taylor Dayne's "Tell It To My Heart" in order to re-launch herself as solo star and scored a deserved #9 hit on the UK charts in 2002. The follow up, a re-worked version of her earlier flop, "Heart Of Gold", made the top 20 and remains one of my all time favourite K. Lo anthems. In true diva style, Kelly's debut album was also a greatest hits compilation. "All Clubbed Up" rocketed to #62, announcing Kelly as a pop princess to be reckoned with!

Kelly returned to charts in a blaze of glory with the release of her craptastic cover of Donna Summer's "This Time I Know It's For Real" in 2004. While not in the same league of pop fabulousness as the Young Divas' recent version, Kelly's cover is a true guilty pleasure and the staple of many an aerobics class. The tragic video is a trash classic, with Kelly camping it up with some of the worst dancers Great Britain has to offer. "This Time I Know It's For Real" was intended to be followed by the release of "Nobody Like You" last year. I personally think "Nobody Like You" is one of the most poptastic dance singles of recent years. It's instantly catchy and more importantly, is slightly more pop orientated than Kelly's usual club sound. The song spent over a year in limbo before being scrapped. If it had been released, I can't help but think Kelly's career would not be in its current shambles.

Instead of twiddling her thumbs while AATW debated whether to release "Nobody Like You" or not, Kelly re-applied her fake tan and recorded a couple of tragic songs for Klone Records, including a fabulously awful cover of Rita Coolidge's Bond anthem "All Time High". Early this year, AATW decided to proceed with a new Kelly Llorenna single and they settled on a dance version of Lara Fabian's hit ballad "I Will Love Again". The song is far from terrible. In fact, I love the chilled Twilight Mix. The problem lies with the fact that the song plays right into all the negative stereotypes surrounding K. Lo - that she specialises in cheap dance covers and never releases anything original. Given the limited promotion and difficulty fans experienced finding a copy of the single in stores, it came as little surprise when "I Will Love Again" stalled at #105. Hopefully, this is not the last we hear of K. Lo. She may be slightly tragic bitch and have the fashion sense of a blind prostitute but Kelly is one of the few interesting personalities to emerge from the English pop scene over the past decade or so. If this is the end, let us remember Kelly in all her orange glory.

You can buy "All Clubbed Up" and "I Will Love Again" from Amazon and HMV. Purchase a copy today and help keep K. Lo in fake tan. A big thank you to Jamie for helping me out with the sexy Kelly pictures and mixes.