The Gayest Album Ever?

I honestly thought the Young Divas' debut album was the gayest thing I had ever heard. An endearing collection of camp pop classics ("Gloria", "Woman In Love", "What A Feeling" etc), the album struck a chord with homosexuals and bored housewives across Australia and became an unexpected double platinum smash hit. Twelve months have passed since then and the band has undergone some cosmetic changes. Ricki-Lee Coulter left the band to pursue a solo career and was replaced by last year's Australian Idol runner up, Jessica Mauboy. The line up might be different but end product is very much the same. The girls have delivered another fabulous album of reworked gay classics. The critics will deride their lack of development and credibility but I applaud the young divas for serving up another feast of the low brow magic. The rest of the world can have Girls Aloud and the Sugababes, I'm more than satisfied with our local superstar girlband! Here is my track by track review:

Got To Be Real - 9/10

Few songs make you want to get up and dance more than Cheryl Lynn's "Got To Be Real". As such, Cheryl's much loved disco classic is the perfect opening track for "New Attitude". The divas make it blindingly obvious from the very first song that the album's one and only objective is to get you out of your seat and "Got To Be Real" conveys that message in great style. Disco purists will be horrified by the trashy rap but I think it works wonderfully. It's complete inappropriateness renders the song even more camp if that is even possible.

If I Can't Have You - 8/10

The nod to disco continues with a dashing and surprisingly faithful cover of Yvonne Elliman's "If I Can't Have You". The song is a welcome blast of pure pop but the girls bring nothing new to the track. In fact, their version is virtually interchangeable with Kim Wilde's 1993 version - only with better vocals. Expect this to be a party favourite over the Christmas season.

Turn Me Loose (Ft. Savage) - 9/10

The first single from the album is a sublime dance cover of Loverboy's "Turn Me Loose". It will be interesting to see how the song performs on the charts but download sales have been promising. "Turn Me Loose" is the divas' biggest concession to current music trends with its slight urban edge and hilarious rap. It might sound like a mess but "Turn Me Loose" works surprisingly well. The vocal performance is particularly impressive.

I Can't Wait - 10/10

The Young Divas pillaging Stevie Nicks' back catalogue should be wrong in so many ways but "I Can't Wait" is a blistering work of pop brilliance. Stevie's original is one of my favourite songs. The inspired mix of guitars and synths was so far ahead of its time that a modern remake feels almost appropriate. I'm not sure what Stevie would make of this version but I love it. "I Can't Wait" works remarkably well as a dancefloor anthem and the surprisingly sleek production distinguishes the track from the rest of the album. Exquisite!

Jump (For My Love) - 9/10

Just when you think "New Attitude" couldn't possibly get any gayer, the divas ramp up the camp factor with a fabulous cover of The Pointer Sisters "Jump (For My Love)". It's hard to destroy pop as perfect as this but it is possible as Girls Aloud proved with their lifeless destruction of the track. Thankfully, the Young Divas show this classic the respect it deserves and serve up a glorious slice of trashy fun.

Love Will Lead You Back - 8/10

I still can't believe that the girls cover Taylor Dayne twice on the one album. That fact alone should be enough to convince most gays to buy "New Attitude". The first Taylor Dayne interpretation is "Love Will Lead You Back". As the only ballad on an album of upbeat dance anthems, "Love Will Lead You Back" makes a welcome change of pace and allows the girls to show off their big voices. Taylor would be proud.

Chain Reaction - 10/10

After a short romantic breather, the divas return to their bread and butter. A camp as tits cover of a gay classic. This time around the lovely ladies give Diana's "Chain Reaction" a makeover and deliver one of the album's highlights. After hearing Steps' abysmal cover I always thought "Chain Reaction" was one of those songs that shouldn't be fucked with. I'm happy that the divas have proved me wrong. Absolutely epic.

New Attitude - 10/10

The title track is a delicious cover of my favourite Patti LaBelle song. "New Attitude" was fierce in 1985 and the song is still a knockout more than 20 years later due to some snappy production and inspired vocal performances by all four divas. I hope this irresistible call to the dancefloor is considered for a single release at some stage.

I'm So Excited - 8/10

Few songs recall the 80s quite like The Pointer Sisters' "I'm So Excited". The original is one of my all time favourites and the Young Divas show the song the respect it deserves. However, I can't help but feel some of the original's magic has been lost in the manic production of the divafied version. Not as good as their version of "Jump" but still a treat.

Tell It To My Heart - 10/10

I have a feeling someone in the Young Divas camp is a massive fan of Kelly Llorenna. Firstly the ladies follow in Kelly's footsteps by covering "This Time I Know It's For Real" on their first album and now update another classic that has previously received the Llorenna treatment. Taylor Dayne's "Tell It To My Heart" obviously lends itself to trashy club queens with big voices and the Divas turn in a stunning performance that will have Kelly and Taylor scratching their weaves in astonishment. This is a blast of pure poptastic fun and hopefully a future single.

Dear Santa (Bring Me A Man This Christmas) - 10/10

The Young Divas meet The Weather Girls and campy brilliance ensues. The Weather Girls' "Dear Santa" is the gayest Christmas carol ever recorded and it somehow feels appropriate that the torch has been passed to the Young Divas. Fuck "Silent Night", "Dear Santa" will be pumping out my stereo this holiday season.

There's nothing new about the Young Divas' attitude on their second album. Considerably more money has been spent on the production and artwork (I LOVE the cover!) but the formula hasn't changed a bit. The songs are still all cover versions of much loved pop classics. Some might call the album artless. I call it smart - and fucking entertaining! "New Attitude" is released on November 26 and belongs in every poof's collection. Pre-order your copy from Chaos, Sanity or iTunes.

He Used To Give Me Roses....

I have spent 168 hours of 2007 watching the first 14 volumes of "Prisoner (Cell Block H)". That equates to spending an entire week in the company of Wentworth's finest and I've enjoyed every single second. In my opinion, "Prisoner (Cell Block H)" is the greatest show in the history of television. Running from 1979 to 1986, "Prisoner" revolutionised Australian drama and set new benchmarks in quality and originality. I'm constantly in awe of the brilliant writing and fully fleshed characters. The latest installment (above) deals with Vera "Vinegar Tits" Bennett's departure from the show and I doubt we'll ever see a character as small, petty and painfully human as Vera ever again. I can't remember squirming as much as I did during Vera's farewell. The episode should be sent every soapie writer around the globe as a "how to" guide for quality television. I could write an essay about the show's amazing characters, groundbreaking storylines and enduring cult appeal but the "Prisoner" phenomenon is something you have to experience for yourself. Instead, I'm devoting this post to the show's much loved theme song, "On The Inside".

Is there anything more achingly depressing than hearing Lynne Hamilton's morose ballad juxtaposed against the slamming of prison gates at the end of each episode of "Prisoner"? Despite its gloomy tone, "On The Inside" immediately struck a chord with viewers and became a #4 hit for Lynne in Australia in 1979. The song found a whole new audience ten years later when "Prisoner" became a cult hit in Britain. "On The Inside" was an even bigger hit in the UK, reaching #3 in 1989. Make sure you check out this amusing clip of Jason Donovan introducing the song on Top Of The Pops! Amazingly, Lynne's depressive signature tune was revived for the third time in the 1990s when it remixed and released as a tragic dance anthem. I love all of the appalling remixes but I've decided to share the unbelievably camp "Breakout Mix".

You can purchase all 14 volumes of "Prisoner" from Chaos. Volumes 15 and 16 are scheduled for released on Monday. Fanatics can pick up the entire boxset if you have a spare $1,500. I would do some bad things to get my hands on that shit!

A Short Post About Kylie

After spending most of last week busily updating Dannii's Dirty Box, my focus has now shifted to the elder Minogue. This morning I picked up a Kylie single for the 45th consecutive time. I should be getting a thank you card in the post for that kind of brand loyalty! It's always a kick to see a new Kylie release on the shelves and the "2 Hearts" package is rather lovely. The Alan Braxe remix of "2 Hearts" is a little bit too cutting edge for my taste but the B-sides are a treat. "I Don't Know What It Is" reminds me of Kylie's crazy, guitar driven "Light Years" B-sides, while "King Or Queen" ranks as one of the best things I've heard from the "X" sessions. It's the kind of sexy dancefloor anthem that Kylie does best. I love it!

Happily, "X" promises treat after treat if "The Kylie Show" is any indication. The new material showcased on Kylie's variety hour was absolutely amazing. I'm blown away, in particular, by the pure poptastic fabulousness of "Wow" and "The One". Both songs are future Kylie classics. They are so good, I bet Kylie stole them from Dannii! "Wow" is three minutes of 80s infused magic. I love the performance but the less said about Kylie's Baby Spice inspired costume, the better! While "Wow" is 100% pure bubblegum, "The One" is distinguished by its bittersweet edge. The song conveys a sense of longing and quiet desperation usually not found in a straightforward pop song. I find it almost unbearably lovely.

"Wow" from The Kylie Show:




"The One" from The Kylie Show:



"2 Hearts" is released in Australia today and can be downloaded from iTunes or ordered online from Chaos, Sanity and JB Hi-Fi. My next post will be Minogue free - I promise!

Kylie & Jason - Together Again

I've been preoccupied with the other Minogue this week, with the release of "Club Disco", "Unleashed", "The Video Collection" and two re-released albums (!!) but Kylie's reunion with Jason Donovan (pictured above) for ITV's "The Kylie Show" grabbed my attention and sent me into a tailspin of nostalgia and childhood memories. Like every other kid in Australia in the late 1980s, I followed Kylie and Jason with an almost religious fervour. It's hard to explain the extent of their popularity for a brief burst of time approximately 20 years ago (FUCK!!). You had to be there; following the adventures of Scott & Charlene on Neighbours, buying Kylie & Jason's singles with your pocket money and reading about their every move in Smash Hits magazine.

While Kylie has remained at the top of her game, Jason's star faded faster than his hairline. Jason never really left the spotlight completely, appearing in various TV shows and stage productions, but most of the headlines he generates involve some kind of derogatory or revealing comment about Kylie. I'm so glad that they've managed to put the bitterness behind them. Their reunion promises to be the highlight of "The Kylie Show", the idea of them coming together after almost two decades warms my heart. Kylie is even revisiting Charlene! Apparently she's now an unemployed alcoholic (pictured below)!

Kylie and Jason will always be best remembered for their massive hit "Especially For You". And with good reason. That song remains one of Stock/Aitken/Waterman's finest ballads. As much as I love to give that golden oldie the occasional spin, I've always preferred the B-side. "All I Wanna Do Is Make You Mine" is a rambling 6 minute epic that borrows strongly (ie. blatantly rips off) "You're The One That I Want". Little more than a demo, the song sounds strangely underdone but it never fails to lift my spirits. This one goes out to everyone who cried when Scott and Charlene left Ramsey Street to live it up in Brisbane!

"The Kylie Show" premieres in the UK tonight. It has been picked up by Foxtel in Australia and will air in the very near future.

Betty Boo's Floptastic Comeback

Betty Boo earned a special place is pop trash history with a string of iconic early 90s hits such as "Doin' The Do" and "Where Are You Baby?". Betty's unique combination of pop, dance and laconic rap was a revelation and she (rather unfortunately) paved the way for artists like Lily Allen and The Streets. Try not to hold that against her. Betty's debut album, "Boomania", still sounds fresh and original 15 years after its release and her massively unsuccessful second album, "GRRR! It's Betty Boo", is nothing less than a poptastic masterpiece.

While Betty's solo career went down the toilet at the speed of light, she successfully reinvented herself as a highly respected songwriter and has even penned tracks for international megastars like Dannii Minogue. After years of handing over her pop gems to other divas, Ms Boo has decided to hang on to a couple of them for herself. Betty scored her first solo "hit" in 14 years, when she peaked at #92 on the UK charts with "Take Off". Credited to Jack Rokka Vs Betty Boo, "Take Off" is an electro club stormer with a throbbing baseline and slutty lyrics about fucking in your car. Betty couldn't have hoped for a more fitting comeback!

You can order "Take Off" from Amazon UK or HMV UK. Make sure you check out the bootastic "Take Off" video. Betty hasn't aged a day!

Minogue Mania & Other Tid Bits

Minogue mania begins in earnest today with the release of four (!!) new Dannii albums in addition to the digital release of Kylie's "2 Hearts". While I wait patiently for my copies of "Girl (2CD Re-Release)", "Neon Nights (2CD Re-Release)" and "Unleashed" to arrive in the post, I've been overdosing on Dannii's new digital release "Club Disco" - a collection of B-sides, remixes and unreleased material from the AATW sessions. Check out my review over at Dannii's Dirty Box. I'm truly in awe of Dannii's greatness - even her unreleased rubbish is a cut above anything else I've heard so far this year! Poor Kylie must be so jealous of Dannii's stunning good looks and amazing vocal ability. She can take some comfort in the fact that "2 Hearts" has already landed at #15 on the Australian iTunes chart less than a day after being released, pretty much guaranteeing a top 20 debut next Sunday on the strength of downloads alone.

Robyn News

Robyn is returning to Australia! The Swedish pop queen's last visit rocked my world and I'll do my best to witness her return - despite the fact that tickets to her Sydney show (supporting local dance band, Sneaky Sound System) have already sold out. Robyn's visit will no doubt bolster the chart chances of "With Every Heartbeat", which this week reaches a new peak of #4 on the Australian club charts. Read more about Robyn's visit and her kooky tour rider here. Speaking of Sneaky Sound System, their self-titled album shoots into the top 5 this week on the back of their recent ARIA victories. The album appeared on my best of 2006 countdown almost a year ago (sorry, I just wanted to brag!) and I couldn't be happier that it's finally receiving the recognition it deserves.

Tina Arena's "Songs Of Love And Loss" Tracklisting

I couldn't possibly be any more excited about Tina Arena's upcoming covers album - that is, until I saw the amazing tracklist:

I Just Don't Know What To Do With Myself
The Look Of Love
So Far Away
I Only Want To Be With You
To Sir, With Love
Theme From Mahogany (Do You Know Where You're Going To)
Love Hangover
The Windmills Of Your Mind
The Man With The Child In His Eyes
Everybody Hurts
Until
Woman

The idea of Tina belting out the "Theme From Mahogany" and "Love Hangover" blows my mind. Let's just ignore the unnecessary inclusion of REM's "Everybody Hurts". The album comes out on the 3rd of December and can be pre-ordered from Chaos.

Young Divas' "New Attitude" Tracklisting

Tina Arena isn't the only Australian diva with a fierce album of cover versions on the horizon. There are at least four more in the form of the fabulous Young Divas. The tracklist of their new album, "New Attitude", makes me want to touch myself:

Got To Be Real
If I Can't Have You
Turn Me Loose
I Can't Wait
Jump (For My Love)
Love Will Lead You Back
Chain Reaction
New Attitude
I'm So Excited
Tell It To My Heart
Dear Santa (Bring Me A Man This Christmas) (Bonus Track)

This masterpiece looks even gayer than their first album and I honestly didn't think that was possible. I can't believe they are covering Cheryl Lynn, Taylor Dayne (twice!), Diana Ross, The Pointer Sisters (twice!), The Weather Girls as well as my favourite Patti LaBelle song on the one album. I'm tempted to name "New Attitude" my album of the year and just get it over and done with! The album hits stores on the 26th of November and can be pre-ordered here.

Goddess Celine

Up until very recently, Celine Dion was one of the few divas gay icons that I simply couldn't stomach. I believe I may have even called Celine's music a crime against humanity. Well, I take it all back. I'm still not convinced about her music and I'll never entirely forgive that disturbing Anne Geddes album but Celine is love. If you don't believe me - watch this interview with Larry King. I started to simultaneously laugh and cry when Celine rants about letting looters steal in New Orleans. The woman is positively certifiable but she clearly means every word and that is refreshing in this day of crippling political correctness. Thankfully, Celine's new single is as fabulous as that giant wig on her head. "Taking Chances" is amazing and the trannytastic video is majestic. Celine emerging from a helicopter in drag queen stilettos and jaunty leather cap is just too fierce! "Taking Chances" is released in Australia today. Bring on the album!

Other Random Hotness

I'm man enough to admit when I'm wrong. A couple of weeks ago I wrote off The Veronicas' new song as a major disappointment. It took about 25 listens to sink in but "Hook Me Up" is really rather wonderful. I love the TATU inspired faux lesbian, incest video too. The Veronicas released their second album in Australia today.

I'm not a huge fan of Alicia Keys but I've been humming "No One" ever since I slow danced to it with a female Justin Timberlake impersonator at The Flinders' lesbian R'n'B night on Saturday. Which is pretty impressive, considering I'm on crutches. Alicia is everything that Leona Lewis wishes she could be if she wasn't so painfully mediocre. "No One" is released today.

Last but not least, Nelly Furtado is set to release her 5th single from "Loose" in Australia. "Do It" is one of my favourite tracks from the album and I'm glad it's finally getting its moment in the sun. "Do It" is released on the 12th of November in Australia.

The Spice Hags - Remixed

I'm finally getting excited about the Spice reunion and it has nothing to do with their putrid comeback single, "Headlines". That song is a four minute reminder of exactly how mediocre the Spice Girls were at their worst. Personally, I'd prefer to remember the good times - the non-stop hilarity of "Spiceworld", the gorgeous "Viva Forever" video clip and the wasted hours I spent memorising Mel B's "Wannabe" rap! That takes me to the subject of this post. In order to generate some buzz about the Spice reunion, the old bags have commissioned remixes of their old hits. I'm a complete whore for the Soul Seekerz and I immediately fell for their reworking of "Wannabe" - which has been restored to its former glory with a dazzling makeover. I believe that the Soul Seekerz remix might appear as a B-side on the "Headlines" CD single. I guess that means there is at least one good reason to buy it. On the bright side, the "Headlines" video clip (picture below) looks tantalising indeed!

The Spice Girls' "Greatest Hits" is released in Australia on the 12th of November. Strangely, "Headlines" is released one week later on the 19th. Both can be pre-ordered from Chaos.