So La Roux scored a Mercury Prize nomination for best British album. Are you kidding me? They have a couple of good tunes and make a fairly convincing Eurythmics tribute band but that's about it. If you want a truly classy electro/synth-pop listening experience look no further than Spain's La Prohibida. The stunningly gorgeous drag sensation has recorded the album that La Roux and Little Boots tried and ultimately failed to make. "Sr. Kubrick, ¿Qué Haría Usted?" ("Mr Kubrick, What Would You Do?") is a beautifully conceived exploration of different dance sub-genres from the 70s, 80s and 90s - blending elements of space disco, Hi-NRG, Italo disco, Eurobeat and French house music. I guess you could even call it a concept album of sorts. The predominant themes are sci-fi and space related, making it an extremely fabulous homage to David Bowie's "Ziggie Stardust". However, don't make the mistake of dismissing "Sr. Kubrick, ¿Qué Haría Usted?" as a camp novelty. La Prohibida has created one of the year's best pop albums. An astonishing achievement when you take into account the fact that she probably funded it by giving blow jobs in the toilets at Polana. Here is my track by track review:
Terechkova
Valentina Terechkova was the first female astronaut and this beautiful song pays tribute to that Soviet maverick. In fact, I think La Prohibida is channelling Valentina on the album cover as well. The track itself is an incredibly convincing attempt at reviving the now defunct 70s genre of space disco. I love the wistful chorus, which shines against a galaxy of beautiful bleeps and beeps. This is stunning opening number.
Cuando Dos Electrones Chocan (When Two Electrons Collide)
The 80s synths arrive for this brilliant dance anthem. "Cuando Dos Electrones Chocan" is one of the most straightforward pop numbers on the album and I think it would make a great single. At times I even hear a slight Stock Aitken Waterman influence but overall the sound is definitely more continental. The likes of Sandra and Spagna would be proud to call this track their own.
One Way Interrail
Eurovision fans might remember this as La Prohibida's entry in Spanish qualifying a couple of years ago. The fact that it wasn't selected is the biggest scandal since Las Supremas de Móstoles were robbed in 2005. Anyway, it's probably for the best. Eurovision isn't ready for this much glamour. "One Way Interrail" is the campest thing on "Sr. Kubrick, ¿Qué Haría Usted?" but it's still a great hands in the air anthem. I'd love to meet La Prohibida at Atocha for a nice train ride.
La Conexión (The Connection)
"La conexión" proves that La Prohibida is not a one trick pony by belting out this touching ballad with as much conviction her dance anthems. I love the space imagery, the soft synths and the sweetness of La Prohibida's vocal delivery. Despite the fact that I can't understand the lyrics, I want to walk down the aisle to this song when I marry Miguel from "Física o Química". This and Tina Turner's "Better Be Good To Me"!
La Química Me Ha Dado Lo Que Tú No Me Das (Drugs Give Me What You Don't)
I think the title translates as "Drugs Give Me What You Don't" and I couldn't agree more. MDMA with a Vodka chaser is better than any man. That aside, this is one of my favourite songs on the album. The intro sounds like it has been lifted straight from Kylie's "Love At First Sight" and the rest is just as Minogue-tastic. Little Boots wishes she could rip off Kylie with this much flair! I love the floaty beats and catchy chorus.
Estas Donde Tienes Que Estar (You Are Where You Have To Be)
This song is so relentlessly joyous and cheerful that it's impossible not to get swept up in its Eurobeat fabulousness. There's also a touch of 90s Hi-NRG about this little gem, which makes it even more endearing. Not the greatest song on the album but it's the kind of filler Soraya would sell her Botox needles to get her lovely hands on.
Esto No Es Amor (This Is Not Love)
There are so many stunning tracks on this album that need to be translated into English and covered by Dannii. My first choice would be "Esto No Es Amor" because it kind of reminds me of "I Begin To Wonder". La Prohibida dusts off synths not heard since the days of Dead Or Alive and Human League on this throbbing little pop number.
Yo En Saturno, Tú En Aranjuez (I'm on Saturn, You're in Aranjuez)
I'm pretty sure Aranjuez is a town near Madrid, so I think this little number deals with long distance relationships - from space! The production is really cute. It's retro without sounding dated. This scintillating 80s inspired dance anthem would have sounded amazing on "Miss Sanchez" instead of all those boring ballads. Maybe La Prohibida can write her next album.
Nunca Más - Dúo Con Spunky (Never Ever - Duet With Spunky)
Speaking of Marta, "Nunca Más" is the upbeat, trash equivalent of "Colgando En Tus Manos" - only La Prohibida is more glamorous than Miss Sanchez and Spunky is less sexy than Carlos Baute. Well, I assume because I have no idea who Spunky is. Anyway, I love this duet. It's cute and catchy with a very memorable chorus. My only problem is distinguishing La Prohibida from Spunky in the verses.
Menos Mal (Thank Goodness)
"Menos Mal" is four minute trip to camp Europop heaven. I love the 80s drum machine and the Stock Aitken Waterman-esque production. Even the shooting star sound effects sound like they have been dragged kicking and screaming from the 80s. There's a sweetness and simplicity about this track that I find extremely appealing. Las Hermanas Goggi should cover this and make a comeback.
Sr. Kubrick, ¿Qué Haría Usted? (Mr Kubrick, What Would You Do?)
The title track returns to the slinky space disco beats of "Terechkova". Only this is slightly more distinctive and eccentric. I love the waves of 80s synths and keyboards. "Sr. Kubrick, ¿Qué Haría Usted?" is a beautifully constructed track. The production is sparkling and the space elements are convincing, making this an unusual yet irresistible piece of sci-fi disco/pop!
El Mundo Alrededor (Around The World)
It seems only fitting that La Prohibida finish such a great album on a high and "El Mundo Alrededor" more than fits the bill. This is a real opus. The song re-visits the space theme that runs through the album but on a completely different scale. The space disco elements are strongly represented but they are mixed with French house beats and even a gospel component towards the end. Few songs ever manage to sound as epic and beautiful.
ALBUM RATING: 9.5/10
More talented than Malena Gracia, prettier than Rosana and younger than Isabel Pantoja - La Prohibida is a unique and wonderful addition to the canon of amazing Spanish pop divas. "Sr. Kubrick, ¿Qué Haría Usted?" is highly recommended and is now available to download from Australian, US and UK iTunes.
Kate Miller-Heidke first featured on this blog way back in 2007 and you can tell from the tone of that rather ambivalent post that I wasn't exactly about to start a fanclub in her honour. I liked "Words" but feared Kate might be a bit too quirky for my trashy taste. Those suspicions were confirmed when I heard her debut album, which rivals Florence & The Machine's "Lungs" as the most desperate attempt I've ever heard to channel Kate Bush. I was so turned off that I didn't even bother checking out her second album when it was released last year despite enjoying the surprisingly poptastic lead single. The follow up caught my attention but even the excellent "Caught In A Crowd" couldn't shake me out of my Kate hating ways. It was going to take something extraordinary to change my mind and, happily, that's exactly what "The Last Day On Earth" delivers.
It's rather uncouth that such a talented singer owes her commercial breakthrough to a Neighbours commercial but like most of the rest of Australia that's how I first heard "The Last Day On Earth". That old ploy has been used a thousand times in the past but this is the only time I've got goosebumps from hearing a twenty second clip and immediately downloaded the song from iTunes. Kate has hit a once in a career home run with "The Last Day On Earth". It's like she's overcome her need to be eccentric and finally found her true voice. The subtlety of the track is what makes it so stunning. There's no over the top emoting or vocal gymnastics. Just some very simple piano and Kate's starkly beautiful lyrics. I'm extremely pleased to see the song sitting at number 2 on Australian iTunes and wouldn't be surprised if it's a future number 1 hit. There isn't an official video yet and it doesn't need one. I implore Kate to use this stunning fan made video clip (below) instead. It's utterly brilliant and completely epic. Can this genius please turn his attention to Dannii next?
Andy Bull is the odd man out on the Australian music scene. His music sounds like it has been transported from the 1970s in a time machine and he sings in a pitch that often gets him mistaken for a female vocalist. However, what really makes Andy stand out is the quality of his beautiful piano driven songs. They positively ooze melancholy melodies and almost always boast a catchy, sing-a-long chorus. And let's not forget his lyrics, which have an honesty and warmth that recall a bygone era when songs were crafted by songwriters instead of pasted together by A&R teams. I've been a fan of Mr Bull since first hearing "Small Town Girl" on the radio. That song is one of those rare anthems that stops you in your tracks with its brilliance and makes you want to run home and jump on Myspace to find out more about the singer (yes, I really am that sad). Since then Andy has released another fine single and is currently promoting his debut album "We're Too Young". That opus has been 7 years in the making and finally hits shelves on the 7th of August. I couldn't wait to probe Andy about the recording process and tackle the really big issues like his amazing hairstyle. Check it out.
Andy, your debut album is set to drop in August. Has it really been 7 years in the making? (Andy was kind enough to also address this question in avideo blog) Well, it's hard to say. I started writing songs when I was 14. That’s when I first decided I wanted to be somebody who made albums. But yes, seven years ago is when I met my producer, Tony Buchen, who throughout this process has been my creative “other half”. He has played a key role in bringing all this to fruition and he has been in the picture for 7 years. Anyway, there are songs on this album that are up to 7 years old, like “Young Man”, which I wrote when I was 18, and then much newer songs like “Girls!” and “She’s a Ghost” which I wrote late last year. The actual recording process (separate from the writing process) for this album took place over the last 3 years. We had four sessions in the fully decked out studio over that time. The first session was that incredible session in 2006 where Kanye West happened to come by while on tour with U2 and offered up some advice. In the end the only song to make it from that initial session is “Young Man”.
While 7 years of writing and 3 years of recording was a very long time, I hope that it was of good use. You cover a lot of ground in that time, try a lot of things. There were so many things about music I wanted to discover. The other interesting thing about making an album over that time is that so many styles come and go through the public consciousness in that period. The pop world travels as the speed of light. I mean, bands can go from obscurity to world domination and then back to obscurity in a single year. Seven years is a lot of time to spend under the radar. So all the while you are watching the world pass you by and spin in circles and explode and disappear; as you just slowly chip away unnoticed, trying to figure out what it is you want to say should you ever have your moment.
Do you have a favourite song on the album? Depending on the day. I think all of the songs on the album have been my favourite at one time or another. Usually when you’ve just written a song you are so excited by all the possibility you hear in it that it's at least a favourite for a short while. Then you record them, and you get such a vibe from listening to them that you play them to death! So then you need to write a new song… Some songs on the album, especially the more reflective ones like “Grown Folk” or “One Thing You Should Know” I must have played in my car 1000 times. It’s a very warm feeling when you can listen to a song you have recorded and think “I achieved exactly what I wanted to achieve, and I wouldn’t change this”.
I read your dad taught you how to play the keyboard when you were just 7. When did you realise that you wanted to be a musician? I think I was about 14 years old. I was a bit of a geek in school, you know, I liked writing and drama and was crazy about drawing and all of those drastically uncool things you should never admit too. I had always really liked music, but as a boy never considered that I could actually write it myself. I had no idea how to write a song. Where do you even begin? When I was 14, everything on the radio was alternative rock, all guitar stuff. Hip Hop was also stepping into the mainstream in a huge way. And there was all that nu-metal stuff too, which wasn’t really ringing my bell. So I was looking around thinking “what the hell am I meant to do? All I have is a piano and a weird voice” And, like a god send, Ben Folds Five, who shall be herein known as the Patron Saints of Andy Bull, appeared amongst the fray. I became smitten with the band’s music. Basically it opened my mind up to the possibility of piano being used in contemporary pop music, which I found incredibly encouraging. Piano wasn’t just something people used in the 70’s, it could be used now. So I started listening to Ben Folds Five and trying to understand what their songs were made of. That’s when I first started trying to write songs and that’s when I decided I wanted to be a “proper” musician I think.
There has been a big revival of so called "blue eyed soul" lately. Does that help or hinder you? How do you stand out from the crowd? That’s an interesting question. Actually it's made no difference here at home. I still feel as if I somehow need to apologise for the way my voice sounds, or for playing piano and not guitar, etc. I really did not set out to be the odd one out, but sometimes I feel the crushing weight of the awareness that I am, as if I need to intellectually justify it to others. This might all just be a function of my own insecurity, however! My objective mind tells me it’s a good thing! I think that despite the inherent terror in putting yourself out in front of the world, the internet, the newspaper, the blogs, the twittering etc, you have to just be yourself, succeed and fail on your own terms and try not to take it personally if you are ‘teased’ by the jocks for being a nerd (the press is like one giant high school, I am telling you). Just do your thing. That’s what all the greats did. That’s one of the things Kanye West stressed to me in our conversation."
Talk about your sound. The piano plays such a big role, there are strong retro influences but it still sounds so fresh. Did it all just come together naturally or was it a long process to reach this point? That’s kind of you to say, thank you. I guess there are a few reasons for that “retro but new” sound. Firstly the piano; you don’t hear a lot of it nowadays. There is a sensitivity in the sound of the piano that predates the punk, metal and grunge aesthetics, and a lot of the major pop developments of the last 30 odd years, so it automatically carries and old fashioned reference. Also there are rules with a piano. You cant bend notes, you cant distort the sound, no whammy, you can’t mess with the tuning. Physically, if it falls on you, it will kill you. There is an order, a heirachy when you play piano, and it goes ‘piano first, you second’. This is a very un-modern attitude. The modern attitude is “Me-first, and everybody else can stick it”. You really have to respect the piano. Its hard to pick it up an smash it into your Marshall stack. As well as that, Tony Buchen and I spent time really trying to record the music with a warmth and sensitivity that reminded us of “the feeling music gave you as a kid”. We took care in the more technical aspects of recording, like trying to leave space in the tracks so you can hear the room sound, making sure we didn’t over-compress stuff. That’s sort of thing.
Who are your influences? I have a feeling you must have a pretty amazing record collection. Yes, there has been many. I have already mentioned Ben Folds. I won’t go on dropping names, but lots of stuff, from a lot of different periods of time and styles. Recently iTunes asked me to put together a list of my top 20 songs of influence. Only 20? Impossible. Top 500 would have been easier! Sorry I haven’t gone into more detail here, but it would just become tedious and boring to read! On the whole however, I am really attracted to unique voices.
I think "Small Town Girl" is one of the best Australian pop songs of the decade. What was the inspiration behind it? Will you be releasing it overseas? That’s *incredibly* flattering, thank you. It’s a coming of age song, I suppose. Over the last seven years I busted my guts trying to go back and forth between here and the US, mainly New York. As everybody tells you, it’s a really busy city, and it can really kick you in the guts. I suppose it just became symbolic of somebody trying to outgrow themselves, and how that’s generally the kind of experience that brings you face to face with your own shortcomings. "Small Town Girl" is a story about trying to outgrow your environment and how you make a lot of errors along the way while doing that. That old chestnut! When you’re young, you’re full of youthful bravado, which is just naivety really. You’re ready to kick down the doors and conquer the world; as if the world is going to just give it all to you without a fight. “Wait ‘til they see me coming!” you think! “Nobody’s ever seen anything like me before!” Then, the years go by and you reflect on all you’ve done and you just can’t help but think “hmmm, I wish I had known a little more about the ways the world actually works.” Of course, I still have hopes of releasing that song overseas. Working on it now!
Tell us about"Small Town Arsehole". Do you often get abused by "fans"?! Ha! Well actually, it's not the fans who abuse. It’s the small town assholes! That guy was just a permanent drunk bastard who is a fixture at the venue in question, so he wasn’t a punter. I’ve seen him again since then though, and I think he’s a bit brain-damaged. Too much alcohol. At first I was like “damn, how many more times can I get called a faggot?” and then I discovered, by talking to friends in other bands, that being called a faggot is pretty commonplace stuff. Can you imagine abusing a total stranger? I would never do that. You should only abuse friends and loved ones! Ha. But I’ve gotten pretty good at heckling back, and occasionally it makes good material for a song. The funny thing is, people often really aggressively point out to me that my voice is high, as if I somehow hadn’t noticed yet. You gotta just let that stuff go, or it’ll make you nuts. Its not very nice. That’s why I take real pleasure in seeing bands like The Presets, who may have once been abused as jazz-trained fags, become the utter toast of the town. Now all those roid-raging, Ed-Hardy wearing party boys who used to heckle them are out there popping E’s to “My People”, haha. Generally though, the people who come to my shows are so super lovely and beautiful and wonderful to talk to. I only want nice fans with good hearts, and I think that’s how it’s shaping up.
Your latest single "Young Man" explores a recurring theme ("My First Love", "We're Too Young" etc) in your music - the pressures of youth, for want of a better explanation. Is that accurate or just a coincidence? A lot of my music has to do with coming to terms with your own youth, about dealing with the first cuts (which, as they say, are the deepest). When you are young, as I mentioned, you are full of notions, ideals, romances and so forth. The friction comes when you smash up against the force of the real world, and you suddenly have to begin consolidating all of that with the hard facts of life. That’s what it means to grow up. You have to begin taking responsibility for you own life, owning your decisions, engaging with the real world in a real way. You have to become morally responsible for your choices. You have to stop waiting for that million-dollar cheque to come in the mail. You have to ask yourself “ok, I know what I appear to be doing with my life, but what am I really doing?”
I love your cover of MGMT's "Electric Feel". Do you have any more up your sleeve? I’ve played a handful of covers over the years. Another one I frequently like to whip out is "New Slang" by The Shins but I’ve done that one quite a lot, so I think I need to find a new one. I was thinking about a Jackson 5 cover, in respect to Michael. In a couple days time I’m heading into the studio to record a song for Island Records 50th Anniversary CD. I’m recording "Common People" by Pulp.
Speaking of Michael, you wrotean amazing blog postabout his death. What did you make of the macabre aftermath? Oh man, you know what I read in the tabloids the other day? Some creep spinning more rubbish about Michael Jackson “secret obsessions”… Are you for real? He’s dead now, so you can leave him alone. Listen, I’ve been thinking about this whole thing a lot. It really makes me sad. It's like Michael Jackson had to deal with way too many small town arseholes saying awful things about him, and in the end, it made him rot from the insides out. It is very macabre. I don’t know what to make of it all. All I can say is that I am continually disappointed and saddened.
Oh, and I have to ask - who does your artwork? Your single/album covers are amazing! Ah yes, it's amazing isn’t it! Basically, we took photos of me, and sent them to a woman named Sara Hingle, who illustrates for FRANKIE magazine, which is how I initially became aware of her work. Then she draws the photo. The “Piano Machine” was originally compiled like a collage, with different images we’d put together and arranged. Then, Sara drew the collage in the same way. I have been very, very fortunate to have had such wonderful artists involved; the artwork has really made an impression on people.
Last but not least tell us about your amazing haircut! The truth is, I used to have long hair, no fringe, just long and over my face. I didn’t really like it but I didn’t know what to do with it. Now, a few years ago I was in a long distance relationship with a girl in Europe. Anyway I went over to see her after being separated for about 10 months and met her in Rome. She told me I needed a haircut. I think I had been hiding behind all that hair because I was basically miserable and depressed and had been for about, let's see, 10 months. Anyway, I went to the hairdresser and he gave me this haircut. I felt like my life had begun again. I left Rome and I left the girl. I sometimes joke that all that suffering, all the misery of that long distance relationship and that final, horrible break up in Rome all happened for a purpose; to lead me to this haircut, haha. Since then, its become my signature. Ridiculous story, I know, but fate has very dark sense of humour.
"We're Too Young" is released on the 7th of August. You can order an amazing deluxe edition that comes with exclusive tracks and a t-shirt fromhis website.
Haters need to get correct or La Toya will put you in check! That's the message the priestess of pop sent to the world's media this week when she clarified some details about her stunning Michael Jackson tribute. In a press release Toy struck back at claims that "Home" is tasteless and poorly timed, explaining that all proceeds are going to an AIDS charity that Michael supported. Just imagine the difference that ten dollars could make to someone's life! Furthermore, La Toya is refusing to promote the song - which torpedoes the theory that she is releasing it just to get back in the spotlight. Seriously, anyone who doubted the thinking man's Jackson needs to hang their head in shame and beg forgiveness!
The most exciting thing about the past week for me has been surprisingly positive online reaction. Perez Hilton and D Listed have both been rocked by "Home" and the comments weren't nearly as hateful as I expected. The video has now been watched over 90,000 times on youtube and the song is currently the 56th most viewed music video of the week - in Italy! Dannii wishes she had that much $ucce$$! Interestingly, it's not the first time Italians have bathed in the glory of Toy Toy. A clip recently surfaced of La Toya performing at the 1990 San Remo song festival and it has to be one of the most toygasmic things I've ever seen in my life. "You And Me" has always been one of my favourite Toy anthems and it's a joy to see her perform the gorgeous ballad live. She sounds adorable, looks like an angel (who has just been attacked with a bedazzler) and holds the audience in the palm of her lovely hand. I believe that La Toya only came second that year but the voting was obviously rigged by Janet. Revel in Toy's stunning performance below:
This was a very unusual Pop Panel for the simple fact that I actually like all 8 songs and would have been happy for any of them to win, which is definitely a first. There is some real variety this week ranging from an 83 year old diva to a couple of pop superstars on the comeback trail as well as the return of a legendary 80s girlband. Is it just me or is the pop world suddenly churning out more treats than usual? Helping me choose our "Single Of The Week" are:
D'Luv couldn't make it again but he promises to be back next week. Taking his place is the glamorous Jennifer (US) writer of the incredibly brilliant Adventures Of An Audio Diva and my fellow trash connoisseur Bomitoni (US), writer of the amazing Milk Carton Pop Stars. Here are the results in order from least to most popular:
Bomitoni: Mariah Scarey indeed. I think Mimi's producers are obsessed with American Top 40 radio because this sounds like all the shit on the radio. Bitch you're not 21 anymore. Hell you're not 31 anymore. Stop trying to sound hip. Face it honey, you're never gonna match the fabulousness that was "Prisoner"! 0/5 Jennifer: This is what happens when Nick Cannon forgets to refill her crazy pills. What a STEAMING pile of rancid excrement. I'm at my Lamb chops end with Mariah as she nosedives into possibly the shittiest single of her career. 0/5 Mike: Leave Mimi alone! Somewhere a pink unicorn just lost its horn from all this hateration. "Obsessed" isn't Mariah's finest moment but it's a grower and the lyrics are unintentionally hilarious. Bring on the second single! 4/5 Pablo: I don't like Mariah. This song sounds like a Victoria Beckham demo. Really. 0/5 Paul: Had you asked me to review this a few weeks ago, I probably would have scored it a lot lower. I hated it at first. Which is tragic cos Mariah was one of my fave 5 90s female singers. However, it's grown on me quite a lot and I find myself humming it here and there. Plus her mentalloid fans are always amusing. So I guess it's quite catchy and she can be semi-witty so I give her a 3/5. Rob: I like it that Mariah is stepping outside the box. Its a pretty boring song though. 3/5 The Prophet: I was really against this song in the beginning, thinking that it was a desperate attempt at relevancy on Mariah's part, but after seeing the video I'm now in love. I feel like this is the first time that Mariah has had me laughing WITH her and not AT her. "He's all up in my George Forman" deserves line of the century! 4/5 Total: 14/35
Honor Blackman – The Star Who Fell From Grace (Video)
83 year old diva releases her first new single since the 1960s.
Bomitoni: Look Madonna without the botox! The trash lover in me wants to love this but I just can't. Can someone do a faggy remix please? Her dress is fabulous though! 2/5 Jennifer: Should I be kind to my elders? Fuck no. Cut the depressing shit, lady, and sing songs about playing bingo and spiking the prune juice bowl at Shady Pines Retirement Center. Now that's what I call a comeback. 2/5 Mike: If an 83 year old diva can't get some love on Pop Trash Addicts then I might as well shut it down! Honor is ten kinds of fabulous and I love her classy ballad. I know it's a musical dinosaur from a different era but that's part of its immense appeal. 4/5 Pablo: Mike, seriously... what's this? Even Madonna looks younger than this woman. 0/5 Paul: There's a joke in her name somewhere. She's probably not going to set the charts alight with this, and that's a bit of a tragedy really. While her best song ever remains the evergreen "Kinky Boots", this - well, it's a bit amazing. Love the orchestra too - makes it all pompous and grand. 3.5/5 Rob: Finally, a touch of extreme class. Utterly speechless. Personally, I feel this is the best song ever land on the table of the pop panel. "The Star Who Fell From Grace" is amazing. Honor release the album now. Please. 5/5 The Prophet: I love the lyrics and she looks great for age, but I'm not a fan of the vocal delivery or the tone of her voice. 3/5 Total: 19.5/35
A massive hit in their native Germany last year, the group are now trying their luck in the UK.
Bomitoni: I liked it for the first minute or so but then that fucking chanting got on my nerves! Can we have a chantless version? 2.5/5 Jennifer: *sticks big American honker in the air* I feel that I'm too American to truly appreciate this...not bad, just, eh… 3/5 Mike: "Allein Allein" featured in my best songs of 2008 countdown and I'm still obsessed with it 7 months later. Everything about this track is epic, from the chorus to the spectacular video. The Killers wish they had something this good on "Day & Age". 5/5 Pablo: I'm so sick of these bands that sound and look like Coldplay/the Killers/Keane. Seriously. And they are not even cute! 1/5 Paul: Oh! I was fully expecting not to like this. And I do. It's quite good indeed. The chorus is as catchy as all out doors and could quite easily be a football anthem (even drunken yobs can remember "allein allein" most of the time). Tip - there is a brillo mash up of this floating around where it has been seamlessly weaved into The Killers "Human". Tip top notch. 4/5 Rob: Its good to see Polarkreis 18 finally make their way in other countries. To be sure, they sound like a mish-mash of Rosenstolz and The Killers but that isn't actually a bad thing. 3.5/5 The Prophet: I know this is wrong to say but something about German voices makes me physically ill. I was getting ready to give this a 4.5 and then when I heard their thick accents on the chorus I almost heaved. I don't fucks wit Germany! 3/5 Total: 22/35
MSTRKRFT Ft John Legend – Heartbreaker (below)
John Legend gets a dance makeover in this club smash.
Bomitoni: It's a bit hectic but nothing über exciting. I just wish they could have gotten a real East LA chola to play the cashier in the video. Or better yet John Legend's schlong should have played the cashier. I would have paid to see that shit! 3/5 Jennifer: Been saying for years that soul artists need to ditch the rap shit and go into electro-pop mode… this is a fine example of seeing those two worlds colliding. Very good. 4.5/5 Mike: The standout track on "Fist Of God" is finally released as a single. I love the combination of John's soulful voice and MSTRKRFT's expertly arranged dance beats. The WAWA remix is completely fucking amazing. 4/5 Pablo: I don't get it. Too noisy, no rhythm and nonsense. And a video with a guy wearing Wayfarer sunglasses deserves the worst. 1/5 Paul: Like the Jocelyn single, John's silky smooth vocals lift this above your generic club fare. It's all very decent and quite good at the beginning, but by the end it's slightly boring and monotonous. It would be quite exciting though if John suddenly ditched his suits and turned up to perform in a skin tight tank top and skinny jeans though wouldn't it? (Er, no). 3/5 Rob: Very catchy. A nice try but I sense there's something missing in it? A bit of soul? A bit of emotional perhaps? 3/5 The Prophet: Legend has such a masculine and soulful voice and he sings and emotes perfectly over the dance beat. I love that it's two different genres coming together to create something new. Definitely one of my faves of the year. 5/5 Total: 23.5/35
Bomitoni: I heart the 'Nanas and I heart this song! I can just picture Sara and Keren in the video now as cougars in 'da club looking for young studs! 4/5 Jennifer: These bananas haven’t shriveled up and rotted yet? Shit, they must be sealing themselves in those green plastic fruit bags to keep fresh. Whatever, this is actually not bad, very catchy…but I'll stick to their '88 masterpiece "WOW!" 3.5/5 Mike: I feel like a bad gay for saying this but I found "Drama" slightly underwhelming, so I'm especially relieved that the world's greatest girlband has finally found material worthy of them. "Love Comes" is the best thing Sara and Keren have put their name to since 1995's amazing "Every Shade Of Blue". Stunning. 4.5/5 Pablo: OK, so... they're back again. With a sound that's S Club 09 but with women who are older than me. Something doesn't quite fit here. But the song is quite nice for a summer. Cruel summer. 4/5 Paul: Hurrah hurrah hurrah. Bananarama have returned. Love Comes! And so did I when I heard this slinky little dance number. Ian Masterson has done a great job with the girls on this track, and I'm loving the evolution of dance sound from their brilliant "Drama" album. I've everything crossed that come September this will be very huge indeed. 4/5 Rob: "Love Comes" is sticky, sweet and full of pop protein. This is a wonderful slice of irresistible pop music which is made for the summer. The only thing missing in "Love Comes" is a key change towards the end but it's a tight production which will leave you wanting the twelve inch. Ahem. 4/5 The Prophet: Lame, but I've heard worse before. 2.5/5 Total: 26.5/35
The Swedish diva is single-handedly bringing back Italo disco.
Bomitoni: Anyone who wants to revive Italo disco is A-ok in my book. However I was expecting something punchier and her voice was a bit too whispy for my tastes. Can someone mash it up with some Divine perhaps? 2.5/5 Jennifer: Wow. This song just wraps you up in all of its hypnotic spledor. Beautiful. 5/5 Mike: Sally is everything that Annie wants to be but doesn't have the talent to pull off. While not quite as brilliant as "Miracle", this dreamy little track still runs rings about the other electro divas with its pretty layers of beats and touches of Italo disco. 4/5 Pablo: Sorry, no offence but this is a "wannabe-Annie". Actually, Annie used the Italodisco sound in "Anthonio", so this is nothing new. The video is absolutly delicious! 2/5 Paul: Love her. She's quite Annie I suppose and I may not be the only one to say that, but this tune is rather lush and floats along plinkity plonk. Yes those are valid music review expressions! It's the return of italio-disco-house and I'm lapping it up. 4/5 Rob: Sally Shapiro can be too good sometimes. However, "Love In July" works just right. Not as good as Cloetta Paris though. 4/5 The Prophet: This is the most amazing and defining thing that I've ever seen or heard in my life! 5/5 Total: 26.5/35
Legendary dance diva Joceyln returns with another club smash.
Bomitoni: This song is so gay I can't stand it! It's almost gayer than the neon leotards worn in the video. The chorus reeks of the late 80s and that is why I adore it. Plus do I hear early 90s piano creeping its way back? Someone hand me a fruity cocktail and lead me to the stickiest dance floor! 5/5 Jennifer: Infectious. Electric. Jocelyn Brown. The main ingredients of a great club track. 4.5/5 Mike: Fabulous dance trash alert! Jocelyn is a goddess and this is wonderfully camp dancefloor fodder. Love the chorus and the nod to early 90s house. 4/5 Pablo: I love Jocelyn Brown since the 90s. Actually I haven't heard from her since then. Anyway, the song is quite summerish and very danceable. But these so-straight videos really bore me. 4/5 Paul: Oh lordy, I thought. Another dime a dozen club thumper that producers seem to shit out every other week or so. However, I love Jocelyn's voice and energy in most songs and it soars in this lifting it above your average boom boom thump thump. 3/5 Rob: This week is incredibly strong and "Love Alibi" is very good. The video lets its all down so I'll forget the tragic affair and focus solely on the song. Naturally it will be big in the charts however it could have done with some more synths. If your going to re-hash a classic with Joceyln on the vocals you've got to make it special. Epic. By the second chorus it seems to be going through the motions. Nice try though. 2.5/5 The Prophet: Is this video a Z-grade version of Eric Prydz "Call On Me" or Heidi Montags "Overdosin"? Whatever it is I love it! The song is great and the girls are beautiful. The only thing I could've done without were the occasional camel toe flashes. 4/5 Total: 27/35
SINGLE OF THE WEEK
Shakira – She Wolf
The Colombian superstar explores office equipment and disco in her latest hit!
Bomitoni: Reminds of "Ready For The Goodtimes" or "Timor" but I don't mind. I love me some Shakes. Just wish she'd go back to dark hair. I'm glad she didn't resort to a rent-a-rapper this time. It's got a catchy beat. I have high hopes for her new album. 4.5/5 Jennifer: Somewhere Donna Summer is ripping her hair out in clumps, as this song would've fit her better than that Melted Crayons album. Love that Shakira is trying some electro-disco, though. 4/5 Mike: As a crazy Shakira fan I'm pretty biased but I think "She Wolf" is an outstanding pop song. It's incredibly original, incorporates disco elements and has quirky lyrics about being abused "like a coffee machine in an office". What more could you want? 5/5 Pablo: Shakira... Shakira is this tiny woman who sings in Spanish and you think she is singing in English. Most of her lyrics are just noise. In Spain, we only like one thing from Colombia and it's not their singers. I must say I like "She Wolf" but I totally hate "Loba". And the "auuuuuuuuuuuu" sound is the stupidest thing I've heard since the "no lo sé" in Aleks Syntek's version of "In My Arms". 4/5 Paul: Mike totally got me back into Shakira by fully explaining how to merge her various oral fixations back into one super album. Personally I like my Shakira "Illegal" or "Underneath Your Clothes", but I'm happy to embrace the hip shimmying, disco humping diva back into my life. This should, nay, needs to be absolutely massive. 4/5 Rob: Hmmm. As with all Shakira songs it has taken some time for me to like this. Yeah, its not bad & the chorus is cute. Sounds like Fleetwood Mac meets Nelly's "Maneater". 3/5 The Prophet: Although I'm not finding this as brilliant as I did when it first leaked, I still love it and I have to applaud Shakira for trying something so different with her sound. Not only is it new for her, but there's also nothing like this in commercial music right now. Fierce! 4.5/5 Total: 29/35
A 20 second preview of the soon to be released "She Wolf" video
I was introduced to Tom Zacharias' infamous 1975 smut opus "Belinda" a couple of weeks ago and I'm still listening to it on repeat. Originally recorded in Swedish, the album was later translated into English with the sole intent of selling it in the classified sections of Hustler and Playboy - which is not particularly surprising given songs like "Nice Cocks", "Gay Club" and "The Hooker". Those gems are audio heroin for a pop trash addict but there's one track I can't seem to enjoy for the simple reason that it reminds me of Madonna. Seriously when I hear this tune the cover of "Hard Candy" immediately flashes before my eyes and images of Madonna's sinewy old biceps haunt my dreams. The lyrics are even more Madge-tastic given the recent leak of the musical turd doubling as her new single. Anyway, misery loves company, so I thought I'd share my pain by streaming:
An Ode To Madonna
Please note - you may need to press the button a couple of times before the song plays. Tom Zacharias' stunning pop/punk/porn album is now available to download from iTunes. It's highly recommended for sluts and perverts of all persuasions!
When Peter Wilson recently announced that 80s dance diva and Hit Factory alumni Sid Haywoode was embarking on a comeback, I knew I had to speak with her. Haywoode is an underground pop icon. She's probably best remembered for working with Stock Aitken Waterman and recording "Getting Closer" before Kylie but her appeal extends far beyond that. The English songbird recorded some of the catchiest tunes of the 80s ("Roses", "I Can't Let You Go" and "A Time Like This") and developed a strong cult following with her outrageous outfits, glamorous hair extensions and camp sensibility. Haywoode represents everything fun and fabulous about the 80s and if her amazing comeback single "Kiss Me Good" is any indication, she's picked up right where she left off. I'm honoured and proud to bring you Sid's first interview in 20 years.
First of all, welcome back! It's been twenty years since your last single, what have you been up to? Well Mike. First of all, I am in denial about the 25 years! I have been living in NYC for almost 20 years and just realized that a month ago.
Did you miss making music? What sparked your decision to make a comeback? I am always around music. My production company has been involved in providing music for events. As for me, I am always performing live and writing songs but had not been recording myself at all. Rumours about where I had disappeared to, people asking me to get back to recording and of course Peter Wilson finding me, inspired my decision to comeback. T1 Music are such a joy to work with.
Speaking of Peter, he tells me that you're updating some of your 80s classics and working on new tracks. Can you tell me a bit about your new sound? Will you be reclaiming your throne as Queen of the dancefloor? Yes, we have re-recorded "Getting Closer" and may do one more of my old tracks, we have been writing new songs too which I think you will enjoy. Musically I am looking forward and would describe my sound as being pop/dance/soul. Now regarding the dancefloor I will just say this… Once a dance queen always a dance queen! So yes… I will be looking to reclaim my dancefloor crown!
Which pop stars do you admire today? Well I am a massive MJ fan (RIP) and always will be. I am crazy about Janelle Monae, I also like Gwen Stefani and Mary J Blige and Beyoncé.
Do you have any idea when we'll be able to hear your new songs? It's been a long wait! We are looking to release a single this year and an album in 2010.
I hope you don't mind if I ask a few questions about the early part of your career. You were signed to CBS in 1983 and scored a top 5 US dance hit with your debut "A Time Like This". How were you discovered and how did you cope with instant fame? I was working as a dancer on Top Of the Pops with the troop Zoo and had recorded some songs for a producer who played them to CBS and they signed me. I have been around the entertainment business since I was little, I went to a Stage school, my step-dad was an artist, my sisters and brother are artists, we were bought up to have a huge respect for our audience and not get taken in by the "hype". Although I used to get a little unnerved when my fans would get too excited if they met me on the street, joyfully screaming at me. I always found a way to communicate organically with them.
The campest video of the 80s?
I need to ask you about 1984's brilliant "I Can't Let You Go". It's one of my favourite songs and the video is amazing! Whose idea was it to use semi-naked men as furniture and how can I rent that apartment? LMAO Mike!! I am so glad you like that song, me too. The idea to use the men was mine and the audition was so exciting as I am sure you can imagine! I was inspired by some art I had seen, it seemed quite original and modern at the time. People on set were saying that the guys were stuffing socks (if you know what I mean)! Very enjoyable!
"Roses" was your biggest hit and became your signature tune. Do you remember performing it on Top Of The Pops? Who were the other guests that week? You know I don’t remember the other guests!! I think I was too excited and nervous. Performing as a singer on TOTP was really gratifying, it felt like my graduation because I had worked on the show so much as a dancer and at the time used to watch the other singers/bands thinking that I would do the same one day, so when I did, it was great.
How did you hook up with Stock Aitken Waterman? They reached out and approached my management.
What were they like to work with? How involved were you in the two tracks they wrote and produced on your album? SAW were great to work with and they definitely had their own winning formula of producing hits. My involvement was simply to do the vocal - so we recorded the vocals, two tracks on one Sunday afternoon. I loved "Getting Closer".
Did you get to meet any of the other SAW acts? I did meet many of the SAW artists at the time, Rick Astley, Princess, Mel and Kim and others.
Were you disappointed that "Getting Closer" and "You'd Better Not Fool Around" weren't bigger hits? I imagine if you had hooked up with SAW a couple of years later those songs would have flown up the charts. I was disappointed and thought that "Getting Closer" was a track that was ahead of its time. I still like it today.
"Getting Closer" was later covered by Kylie. What did you think of her version? It is ultimate Kylie doing Kylie. I like her, she is great.
A New Zealand band called True Bliss also released a cover of the song. Have you heard it? No but I am off to find it now!
"Arrival" is such an amazing debut album but it's so hard to find. Is there any chance of re-releasing it? I need "Jelly Baby", "Missing You" and your lovely version of Prince's "I Wanna Be Your Lover" on my Ipod! You are so kind, I don't even have a copy. LOL. Ask Peter!!! I have heard rumblings about a re-release of "Arrival" but don't know the date. It makes me happy that you enjoyed my debut album and I promise you that my next album will be even better.
You released a couple of singles in the late 80s. "Boogie Oogie Oogie" includes a remix by Pascal Gabriel. Do you remember working with him? Yes I do, he is so brilliant.
I also noticed that 1989’s “He’s Got Magic” has a Harding/Curnow (PWL) mix. How did that mix come about? I wish to the high heavens that I could remember, but I cant!
Your sister also had a couple of hits in the 90s (I loved "Don't Poison Me"). How is Emzee? Is she still making music? Emzee is still doing music and thank you for asking about her, she is a great artist. I am very proud of her.
Thanks for the chat. I wish you every success with your comeback. Thank you so much Mike, it has been my pleasure.
Sid's biggest hit - check out the amazing vinyl dress!
So La Roux scored a Mercury Prize nomination for best British album. Are you kidding me? They have a couple of good tunes and make a fairly convincing Eurythmics tribute band but that's about it. If you want a truly classy electro/synth-pop listening experience look no further than Spain's La Prohibida. The stunningly gorgeous drag sensation has recorded the album that La Roux and Little Boots tried and ultimately failed to make. "Sr. Kubrick, ¿Qué Haría Usted?" ("Mr Kubrick, What Would You Do?") is a beautifully conceived exploration of different dance sub-genres from the 70s, 80s and 90s - blending elements of space disco, Hi-NRG, Italo disco, Eurobeat and French house music. I guess you could even call it a concept album of sorts. The predominant themes are sci-fi and space related, making it an extremely fabulous homage to David Bowie's "Ziggie Stardust". However, don't make the mistake of dismissing "Sr. Kubrick, ¿Qué Haría Usted?" as a camp novelty. La Prohibida has created one of the year's best pop albums. An astonishing achievement when you take into account the fact that she probably funded it by giving blow jobs in the toilets at Polana. Here is my track by track review:
Esto No Es Amor (This Is Not Love)
