Pop Panel - Week 12

I've been doing the Pop Panel for the past 3 months and I really should be used to the occasional dud song winning but it still annoys me when a big stinking poo pollutes my lovely blog! I guess this week's winner isn't quite that bad but there is a fine line between drawing influence from the 80s and ruthlessly ripping off the pop stars of yesteryear. If music fans keep encouraging this sort of behaviour it's only a matter of time before some shaggy haired dude tries to channel Michael Bolton. You've been warned! Anyway, now that I've finished ranting, I really should introduce the judges responsible for this harrowing decision. Today's Panel consists of:

D'Luv (US) writer of Chart Rigger
Mike (Aus) author of this classy blog.
Pablo (Spain) writer of Peibols
Paul (UK) writer of Fizzy Pop
The Prophet (AUS) writer of The Prophet

In addition to the usual hos, I've roped in the services of these two hot bitches:

Nasty G (Canada) writer of The Isle Of Deserted Pop Stars
Tommie (Sweden) writer of Donna Martin Graduates

I'm really excited to have these guys on board. "Isle" has to be one of my all time favourite blogs and my preferred hunting grounds for fabulous pop trash, while Tommie's new blog is on fire. I'm still reeling from his amazing Leila K extravaganza and the introduction to Norell, Oson & Bard rocked my world.

As usual the songs are listed from least to most popular.

Tinchy Stryder feat Amelle Berrabah - Never Leave You (Video)

Everyone's favourite Sugababe teams up with rising hip hop star Tinchy.

D'Luv: Didn't T.I. and Rihanna already do this song? And that hair? 0/5
Mike: Tinchy has to be the world's worst rapper since Mr President. Seriously, Peter Andre has more urban credibility. Teaming up with Amelle is a smart move but even that crazy bitch can't turn this turd into a diamond. 1/5
Nasty G: What? Another Taio Cruz track?! Oh no, it's apparently the scrawny midget rapper version of him. Bleh. But, though I initially resisted her, Amelle has become my fave non-Siobhan Sugababe, even if she’s playing the poor man’s Rihanna here. Pity that they had to spend the majority of the budget on her pay cheque and not the song itself. 2/5
Pablo: Well... the concept of "everyone's" is not that true. My favourite is Heidi, for sure. Amelle, as usual, is being so bitchy. Which I like. The song is acceptable for her first "almost solo" track so, it's ok for me. 4/5
Paul: It's Tinchy. And the fifth sugababe! What more could a person want? It's a bit in your face packed with attitude and that rather memorable and "fierce" chorus. What more could a person say? 4/5
The Prophet: Mutya would've done a way better job but I still love this. It's been on heavy rotation ever since it leaked for me. Whoa whoa I will never leave you! 4.5/5
Tommie: The most vile and unreal Sugashit teams up with this Flinchy guy and the results are WHORErendous! I would rather cut my ears off than ever listen to this tripe again! 0/5
Total: 15.5/35

Taio Cruz – Break Your Heart (Video)

Britain's urban pop sensation unleashes his latest track.

D'Luv: Uninventive chorus and the fact that it sounds like Akon aside, this is what a summer pop jam should sound like! I'll probably play this at least two times before deleting! 4/5
Mike: I've been a fan of Taio's catchy urban dance schtick since the brilliant "Come On Girl". I guess it doesn't hurt that he's ten kinds of sexy and films his videos on my favourite holiday island. This isn't his finest moment but I still wholeheartedly approve. 4/5
Nasty G: Sweet Jesus, how many songs is Ne-Yo going to release off of his latest album? What's that, it's not him? Well then, how many songs is Akon going… Oh, it's not him either? Who the hell is it then and why should I care? That's right - I don't. NEXT! 2/5
Pablo: Urban music is almost as boring as ballads. Really, I don't get it. And this video is so Ibiza style... Please! Aren't there any other islands in Spain? 0/5
Paul: The thing I like about Taio is that no matter how his songs turn out (ie which genre they are trying to appeal to) they end up being the rather good type of pop tune that Chris Brown used to make before he got all fisty. This is a sleek urban jam with pop sensibilities and it's proper good. 3.5/5
The Prophet: This alright I guess but I'm sick to death of urban artists doing dance music. Yes I know he has already done lots of dance tracks before but his R&B songs are so much better. This sounds like everything else on the radio at the moment. 1.5/5
Tommie: This is either RedOne by-the-numbers or someone trying to do RedOne by-the-numbers. It's decent enough considering it's Taio Cruz, but I wish it was more creative. 2.5/5
Total: 17.5/35

Little Boots – Remedy (Video)

Little Boots follows up her last flop with "Remedy".

D'Luv: I'm torn between thinking this song is a bit lazy with the verses—it's annoying when artists sing the same melody as the instrumentation—and quite fantastic, once it finally gets to the chorus. There's also something very ABBA-esque about said chorus. I dunno. 3/5
Mike: The sad thing about this pathetic excuse for a Kylie B-side is that it's probably the best thing on the boring cunt's sorry excuse for an album. It's enough to make you miss Ratshit STDvens! Well, almost. 0/5
Nasty G: Now we know what would have become of Dannii if she had kept her original nose. But I confess, I have a soft spot for this puss in Boots, however redundant she may seem. All of my gays are eating her shit up like it was their last meal, so who am I to resist? 3.5/5
Pablo: It's not only that I like the song. It's all it means to me. Riding in Parker's car totally screaming this song like crazy queers, reminds me of great moments in Elche. Also, a great video (copycat of "Slow", of course). 5/5
Paul: I'm not entirely sure why LB isn't more massive than she is but I'm very eager for this single to change that. It's lyrically a spiritual companion to the lovely "Heartbreak Make Me A Dancer" and equally as funky. Perhaps this should have been the first single but what's done is done. If you pass this by on prejudice then it's utterly your loss. 5/5
The Prophet: So this is Little Boots, is it? The girl everyone's been talking about? What a disappointment, she's so boring. 1/5
Tommie: I guess this qualifies as 'alright', but there's no energy to this one, is there? And the poor woman looks dead in some shots, Christ. I don't have the same kind of haterade against the girl like some people have, but her image needs serious re-tooling because the 'British Lady GaGa' thing is not working out for her! 2/5
Total: 19.5/35

BoA – Energetic (Video)

The Korean superstar's 3rd US single.

D'Luv: I liked the BoA song from last week better. He just sounds like a robot here. 2/5
Mike: I also prefer the sublime sleaziness of "Eat You Up" but this is still another cracking dance tune from Korea's second sexiest woman (Mina still holds that title). It's interesting that the lowest votes come from the oldest gays. Just saying! 4.5/5
Nasty G: At last, an Asian singer whose English voice I can actually enjoy and not just pretend to in order to honour the gay code which states that I must champion every international pop-tart underdog (sorry Utada, but I can finally say it - you suck!). Seriously, this is perhaps the best song off Britney’s album. It's a shame, though, that her failure so far in the US has resulted in her having to use Paula Abdul's abandoned dance routine and video set for "I’m Just Here For The Music". 4.5/5
Pablo: Oh, how interesting, another Asian girl. Aha, I see. And using a vocoder! How original! 0/5
Paul: Honestly, I went into this tune with an open mind expecting to perhaps be wowed. It's actually quite appalling. It's like a really weak Britney demo remixed by someone who wishes they were as successful as Cascada. Yes it's that bad. I can barely listen, my ears are bleeding. 0/5
The Prophet: This is one of the only good songs from her album. The majority of her other songs sound soulless and robotic, but that actually works in Energetic's favour. 4.5/5
Tommie: The Best of Asia does it again! "Energetic" is an amazing dancefloor filler that's set to burn up many select gay clubs across America! 4.5/5
Total: 20/35

Erika Jayne – Give You Everything (Above)

American dance diva unleashes her latest floorfiller.

D'Luv: Am I naive to still be shocked at how many of these dance broads are knocking off Lady GaGa's look? Oh, right—just comment on the music, D'luvvy. It's an OK track. I dunno. Can I go back to talking about her sunglasses? No? Sigh. 2/5
Mike: I feel sorry for Erika. She was ripping off Kylie and Lady GaGa well before Little Boots stole her act. This is typically catchy material from America's underground Queen of dance. 4/5
Nasty G: When I first discovered this timeworn tranny’s song "Rollercoaster", I had a new fave diva. Her whispery white raps had me at "Eat it up". Then she released another song in which she actually attempted to sing, over a beat that even Kylie must have rejected in her Deconstruction days. This one's a little better (though I prefer the original version and its video, which gives us more half-naked man-flesh and less creaky coochie). 3/5
Pablo: No, seriously, isn't this blonde the one from Cascada? Nonono, from September?
Nonononono, from Infernal? They all look and sound the same to me. At least, this one has bigger boobs! The song is danceable and catchy. Enough for a single in summer. 3.5/5
Paul: Poor Erika may have suffered from being listened to last after a number of dance songs that I really liked this week. After those, this sounds a bit generic though of course Moto Blanco can be relied on to add a bit of spice to an otherwise slightly dull number. 2.5/5
The Prophet: I have no idea why but there's something about this that makes me want to give it a high rating. This is dreadful but I cannot resist... 4/5
Tommie: Oh no! D'luv's drunken aunt just dressed up as Lady GaGa! Fabulous. 4/5
Total: 23/35

Ricki-Lee – Don't Miss You (Video)

Australian Idol alumni-come-host releases the lead single from her latest album.

D'Luv: Great. Another dumpy tramp knocking off Rachel Stevens. Wait, did she just say, "You can kiss my behind"? Sold! 4/5
Mike: As a complete Ricki-Lee stan (ie. stalker fan), I would have probably given this 4/5 for old time's sake even without listening to it but I'm very pleased to say that this is a stunning return to form after the shiteous "Wiggle It". And I will seriously cut the next bitch that disses Ricki-Lee's bootylicious body! 5/5
Nasty G: It's great to see the trampy untalented one from Liberty X has put on 50 pounds and embarked on a solo career. Only in the UK could a fat slag have a semi-successful recording career (well, the US does have Kelly Clarkson, I suppose…). Oops, I see this is an ex-Young Diva and that she's Australian. Well, same diff. And I’m happy to hear that Cher has dusted off her auto-tune to do back-up vocals. Of course I love it (as per the gay code mentioned above). 3.5/5
Pablo: I love this song! The girl is a S Club 7 girl + one Atomic Kitten + another singer mixed up. I like it. At least she is not that skinny as other pop stars. Usually I don't like songs where you can listen to different cities. It's quite obvious. But in her case, it's forgiveable. 4.75/5
Paul: Oh god. A motorbike in the video. How avant garde. Almost as avant garde as the song, where Rickie tries to be daring by saying piss you off and kiss me behind. How shocking. Shame really that she seems to be trying harder than a gaga in a muppet suit, cos the chorus is quite good, let down by middling verses. 3/5
The Prophet: Oh wow what a shock Ricki-Lee has put dance influences in her music. Yawn. This is like a Z-grade Rihanna. I'm disappointed because I really like Ricki and I own her first two albums, though I've never played them before! 2/5
Tommie: She moves her neck around a lot, doesn't she? Anyway, nice to see someone representing the plus-sized pop tart; this'll be my Valentines Day-anthem for sure! 4/5
Total: 26.25/35

Centerfold – Take Me (Video)

Dutch girlband's sleazy new anthem.

D'Luv: Geez, I guess we just don't give Dana International enough credit for opening the market up for transgendered pop "stars." 3/5
Mike: Oh no they didn't! This fabulous trash is offensive on just about level, which is probably the reason why I've been watching it on repeat all week. The video is like nasty Europorn - I keep waiting for Rocco Siffredi to appear. Wrong, yet somehow so right! 5/5
Nasty G: I recently vacayed in the Red Light District, and like any warm-blooded male passing by the ladies on display, the first thing I thought was "Wouldn’t it be awesome to make a pop group out of only the finest whores and film their video in the brothel itself?" And here we are! And a Youtube search reveals an 80's incarnation that will keep me in Gaytube heaven for months. It's electrowhore pop. What's not to love? 4/5
Pablo: The video is disturbing. Sometimes I thought it was the beginning of a porn movie. But with ugly girls. Are they girls? Even the guys in the video are ugly. I don't like this song. 1/5
Paul: Don't think anyone will judge me if I say i would let the skinhead guy in this vid manhandle me, tie me up and throw me blindfolded into his car. But the song! It's quite catchy, with a few remixes I can see this being quite big in the UK. Pity their voices are as thin as paper, but that's never stopped anyone before. 3.5/5
The Prophet: This is absolutely, positively, outrageous! 5/5
Tommie: So let's see if I get the plot of this video - they are three bondage sluts who happen to get kidnapped by this creepy rich guy but they all enjoy it, so it doesn't matter anyway? Genius! Win! 5/5
Total: 26.5/35

SINGLE OF THE WEEK

Preston – Dressed To Kill (Below)

Ex-Ordinary Boys singer's debut solo single.

D'Luv: Sounds like all of Duran Duran took turns ass-boinking Preston over a trash bin. Love it! 4/5
Mike: This boring waste of space has spent way too much time googling Simon Le Bon. However, there are worse acts to rip off. I guess. 2/5
Nasty G: Oh my, I'm yours for the biting, Count Morrissey. How could this tight little treasure ever be in a group called Ordinary Boys? Try extraordinary, yummm… Oh wait, there is an actual song here too? Well, it seems that Rockwell has kindly lent the boy his "Somebody’s Watching Me" keyboard riff. And really, the song could be absolute tripe and he'd still get top points from me. 5/5
Pablo: Great! At least one singer with his chest not waxed!! It's quite 80s, the song, the sound and the video. 4/5
Paul: Hurrah! I adore this tune. I loved Preston in Ordinary Boys. I loved Preston in Celeb BB Car Crash TV. I loved Preston the tabloid bait. And now I love vampire 80s Preston. This is a glorious tune, well sung, very catchy and so much more entertaining than a lot of the 80s inspired guff out there right now. Preston knows the pop game well and by golly he's gonna play it. 5/5
The Prophet: Wasn't this guy on Big Brother? I really like the song but the video is so pretentious, and seeing it has tainted the way I feel about the music. 3.5/5
Tommie: I've never heard of 'Ordinary Boys' before, but I get the feeling that I'd probably hate them, so this is most likely surprisingly good! I'm curious to what he'll come up with next. 3.5/5
Total: 27/35

La Toya's Video Tribute To Michael

I know I'm drowning you all in Toy this week but given that she only releases new material once every second decade, I hope you'll forgive me. The latest milestone in La Toya's stunning comeback is a moving video tribute (above) to Michael. The Pope of Pop talks about keeping her brother's dream alive and promotes one of his favourite AIDS charities - by plugging her latest single! It's all very sweet. There's a strange innocence about La Toya that reminds me of Michael. I don't think it enters her pretty little head that some people might find her actions slightly tasteless. I honestly believe she's just trying to be a good sister and this is the only way she knows how. By the way, how completely fucking amazing does our Goddess look? Toy Toy has always been a vision of heavenly beauty but she looks absolutely breathtaking here. I swear she looks half Janet's age - and weight. I love the new hair and I think she's had some of her nose reinstated. Either that or they filmed this through a lens with enough Vaseline to lube up Cheryl Cole's prolapsed arsehole.

Lorena Herrera - Mexican Trash Goddess

Some of you might remember that I started learning Spanish earlier this year at a shady Mexican school run by Colombian refugees. And no, they didn't mention any of that shit in the brochure! Unfortunately I had to drop out due to that whole unfortunate falling into a coma business but I finally re-enrolled and spent Tuesday night learning the names of Mexican vegetables. As undeniably fascinating as that was, I decided to dig deeper into Mexico's rich cultural heritage and hit my friend Joe up for some musical suggestions. I love all the music he sent me but one diva absolutely took my breath away with her unparalleled beauty and stunning vocal talent. Yes, I'm talking about the vision of elegance and class that is Lorena Herrera. Paulina Rubio and Thalia can fuck right off - I've officially found my Mexican muse!

Lorena really knows how to put on a show!

There's so much to love about Lorena. According to her bio, the luscious diva is a "highly acclaimed" actress who has starred in more than 50 movies. I can't be sure but I'm guessing the majority of those co-starred a donkey and were filmed in Tijuana. Somewhere along the way, lovely Lorena became a TV star and eventually began a music career in 1996. Since then she has released 6 albums and filmed some of the classiest video clips ever to grace youtube. Her latest single "Ya" is a perfect example (below). The Mexican beauty doesn't let anything as mundane as middle age (she's 42) stop her rolling around semi-naked with a snake or sucking on some guy's bulging pecs. Happily the song is just as classy as the video. "Ya" is a gloriously low brow dance anthem that sounds like something Melissa Tkautz recorded and ultimately rejected for "Lost & Found". Yes, it's THAT amazing! Apparently Lorena just released a new album in Mexico and I'm dying to hear it. Until I hunt down that masterpiece, I'll have to make do with youtube and her stunning soft porn website. If anyone has any other Mexican pop suggestions, please let me know!

STOP PRESS: More Stunning Toy News!

Somebody pass me a Valium! The Church of La Toya has just rocked my world with this report:

"La Toya recorded her first music video in over 20 years on Sunday. The clip was directed by Eric Bute and director of photography was Hollywood veteran Reed Smoot. La Toya had three costume changes for the video, all of which were completely white ensembles, keeping with the theme of the single cover. It was shot at the Golden Oak Ranch in Santa Clarita, California, which is owned by The Walt Disney Company and frequently used for film production."

I just know Toy Toy is gonna bring her "A" game to this clip! I'm expecting a variety of crazy hats, stunning costume changes and at least one incredibly tasteful cameo by Michael Jackson's ghost. Given the ranch setting, I'm also hoping to see Toy take a roll in the hay and flash her big back door to a group of lustful cowboys. If the prospect of a new video from the Duchess of Dance isn't enough to give you a screaming toygasm, check out this little tidbit:

"We're also excited for an upcoming project we're working on with a UK record label. We'll have an album full of unreleased and rare La Toya material coming your way soon!"

By unreleased and rare, I think they mean the widely available "Startin' Over" with a few new tracks the Pope of Pop recorded recently including the much talked about but never heard "Love". Not that I'm complaining. I don't care if they re-release "Bad Girl" for the 147th time - anything would be an unexpected and gratefully received treat! Oh and for those of you that didn't believe, roll up your sleeves because The Church has also revealed that "Home" is now Toy's most downloaded song ever. I don't know if I can handle all this stunning $ucce$$!

While we wait for Toy's "Home" video to debut, let's wander down memory lane to 1984 when La Toya released her first and, in my opinion, best video. "Heart Don't Lie" is a much loved camp classic and remains Toy Toy's biggest US hit reaching a lofty #56 on the Billboard chart. I'm sure the video played a large part in the song's success. Only our Goddess could get away with playing a school girl despite pushing 30 and bring in a team of dancing mime artists!

A Toymentous Occasion!

Today is a toytastic moment in the history of pop music. Mark the 28th of July down in your diary as the day the (highly disputed) Queen of Pop released her first single in over a decade. Yes, bitches - the legendary La Toya Jackson is back! I've been waiting for this moment ever since Toy Toy first announced that she was startin' over way back in 2002 and now after a decade of false starts, she's finally ready to throw it down and put the haters in check. It's just a shame that it took such sad circumstances for the High Priestess of Pop to reclaim her throne. With any luck, the overwhelmingly positive response to "Home" will inspire Toy to get her big back door into the studio to record new tracks. That is after she hunts down Michael's killer and forces Debbie Rowe to get correct. In the meantime, I've put together a special one off mid-week Pop Panel to celebrate the release of "Home". Today's completely unbiased judges are:

Bomitoni (US) writer of Milk Carton Pop Stars
Chicago Sexbox (US) writer of Chicago Sexbox
Jamie (UK) writer of Tat Parade
Jay (UK) writer of Postcards From Puerto Rico
Mike (AUS) author of this classy blog
Tommie (Sweden) writer of Donna Martin Graduates

Here's what this fabulous group of high brow music scholars had to say about Toy Toy's heartbreaking tribute to Michael Jackson.

Bomitoni: Toy has touched many with her music over the years. This previously unreleased gem is a true testament to what Toy truly is, a music force to be reckoned with. What a lovely tribute to Michael Jackson! 5/5

Chicago Sexbox: Somewhere up above Michael Jackson is smiling down from a celestial Neverland as he is greeted by the sounds of La Toya Jackson's power ballad and soon to be epic anthem for Michael Jackson fans everywhere, "Home". Michael's closest and most talented sister releases this gem from her vault to not only honor her brother and the childhood home they shared growing up but to donate all proceeds to Michael's favorite AIDS charity. While Janet is probably already corrupting poor Michael's children with her collection of S&M anal porn, La Toya appeases the King of Pop's spirit much like she has done with her fans with her previous musical ventures. For those of you who didn't believe roll up your sleeves......cuz La Toya is throwing down with her new spiritual and uplifting sound! 5/5

Jamie: For many years the thinking man's Jackson has tantalised us with pop gems like 2003's Billboard Dance/Club Chart smash "Just Wanna Dance", "Free The World", and her ghetto throwdown to pimps and dealers across the globe - the seminal "I Don't Play That". On her latest opus La Toya gives us a glimpse of the good old days of growing up in the Jackson family home surrounded by the only people she ever really knew. It's just lovely, syrupy, over the top, and melancholy all at the same time. What a poignant and fitting time to release this fan favourite which serves as a perfect tribute to Michael, the King of Pop - 5/5!

Jay: The Pope Of Pop returns to bless us all with a heavenly anthem and a touching tribute to her recently departed brother. What makes this even more touching is Queen Toy showing her forgiveness for him once again sabotaging her career as him dropping his clogs has ensured the much anticipated "Startin' Over" has been delayed indefinitely... just like he ruined "Night Time Lover" and stole "Thriller"! Though I still think a re-issue of "Free The World" would have been far more fabulous. 5/5

Mike: Music fans are used to Jackson sisters being pudgy frumps like Janet and Rebbie. La Toya's curse has always been her exquisite looks and unrivalled sex appeal but hopefully the tragedy of Michael's death will allow people to look past her divine body and finally embrace the powerhouse vocals that have driven Toy Soldiers wild for three decades. "Home" truly is a toyriffic tune. The production is epic, the lyrics are tender and Toy Toy turns it out vocally. A work of genius. 5/5

Tommie: A true triumph in good taste and artistry! Anyone who disagrees has clearly listened to Janet's pussy ballads for too long and shouldn't be taken seriously. 5/5

Total: 30/30

That's highest score in Pop Panel history! I always knew Toy Toy had it in her. "Home" is now available from US and UK iTunes. Please do the poor bitch a favour and download it! The rest of us can bask in the glory of Toy's stunning "Home" by watching the video (below).

Peter Wilson On Mandy Smith - Interview

I've always loved Mandy Smith. She was the bad girl of Stock Aitken Waterman. While Kylie wore pearls and innocently chirped "I Wouldn't Change A Thing", 17 year old Mandy posed for pictures in her knickers and belted out saucy anthems like "Victim Of Pleasure". Despite her incredible lack of UK chart success, I honestly believe Mandy's debut album is a Hit Factory classic. "I Just Can't Wait" (the lead single) is a gorgeous little pop tune that would have raced to #1 if someone less controversial had recorded it, while the ultra camp Daize Washbourne penned "Boys And Girls" was a deserved #12 smash hit (in Italy). My personal favourite is "He's My Boy", which has to rank as one of Stock Aitken Waterman's most intoxicatingly tacky efforts. Unfortunately, Mandy seemed to dropped off the face of the earth in the late 80s and never released another album. I always wondered what happened to her and now I know thanks to Peter Wilson! Apart from producing Amanda Lear and Haywoode, Peter also found the time to interview Mandy about the PWL years and the recent re-release of her album. He also asks Mandy about recording "Got To Be Certain" before Kylie, which I found particularly fascinating. If you want to read more about this fabulous diva, check out the full version of the interview over at the Hit Factory Forum. I'm just printing the highlights (with Peter's permission).

We’ve missed you! Where have you been for the past 20 years?
That's really nice, thank you! Wow! Where do I start? After signing a record deal in the USA, I became quite ill. I already had quite a weak immune system, so with a heavy workload and lots of stress from personal life issues and UK press, my mind and body could take no more. I had to take an early exit from the music biz with a heavy heart. Over the years I have concentrated on getting better and living a life doing the things that I've always wanted to do, like, getting married (twice), having children (like my beautiful son Max aged 8) being a make-up artist, and working with a charity called Five Star Appeal. I've taken time out to enjoy being a mum and just spend time living and experiencing things that I didn't when I was younger.

How did your signing with PWL come about?
I was 16 at the time and my manager had a call from Pete Waterman's office to see if we could set up a meeting and talk about making a single which is every young girl's dream. I had heard it was the idea of Pete Burns from the group Dead or Alive, who had seen and read about me and put this notion to PW. So, many thanks to PB really.

What was the first song you recorded with SAW?
I remember my first day in the studio with Mike Stock and Matt Aitken, I was nervous but tried not to show it. I was also really excited at having such a great opportunity and experience second to none. The first song I recorded was "Terry" by Twinkle, it didn't get released back then, so I went on to record "I Just Can't Wait" which was my first PWL release. "Terry", by the way, has just been added to my recent re-released album for those of you who would like to have a listen.

What is your favourite song on the album? And when did you last listen to it?
I listened to it recently, because they sent me a copy due to the re-release. My son wanted to hear it, so I put it on and gave him a mini Mandy concert just to make him giggle! I really enjoyed listening to (and singing) "Positive Reaction".

If you could have recorded any other SAW song, what would it have been?
All true SAW fans will know this track, it was by a band called Brilliant and the track was called "Love Is War". When I used to hang out at the studio, I would watch MTV or have a nose around - looking at the albums that had been recorded or get previews of the new Kylie or Jason videos. One day while nosing, I found this song by Brilliant and played it to death, it's a classic SAW production that never really hit the big time! It did in my world!

Do you have any memories of meeting and/or touring (PWL Roadshows) with other PWL acts and who was your favourite?
I suppose the main people I did mini tours with (were) Kylie, Jason Donovan, Rick Astley and Sinitta. We all worked so hard that half the time, we would get the shows done, have dinner together and fall into bed exhausted, ready for the next days work! Sometimes, depending on which town we were in, we'd go to a local club/disco for a good dance and fall into bed at getting up time! Rick Astley was my favourite person, he was so genuine and a real sweetheart.(Great voice too!)

You released 5 great singles in the UK, but the first 4 did not make the charts. However you didn't give up, that's real determination at such a young age. How did you handle it?
I was always a little disappointed when they never made the UK charts, because your home ground is always the place where you would like success! But I think with being so well accepted in Europe and the Far East, I just kept working and hoped that one day the UK would change. I was really happy though with how well the singles did abroad, so that carried me through.

"Don't You Want Me Baby" finally gave you a UK chart placing with hard work starting to pay off. Was this a proud moment for you?
Yes and No really! I think at this point in my life, I was a bit fed up with the British press, as they had given me quite a rough ride, so I was not expecting a hit - and then to have a UK chart placing was a nice surprise. My health at this time was starting to wane a little, which also took the fun out of things.

After "Don’t You Want Me Baby", no more releases followed and you kind of vanished. A lot people missed you, and expected a 2nd album. What happened?
As I mentioned earlier I went to the USA to promote the album and upon my return to the UK I was to make a video for "Don't You Want Me" and finish promoting it. Sadly, that plan didn't come to fruition. I really missed working. It was a frustrating time but I had to learn to cope, by just being positive and getting better.

2005 saw the release of SAW Gold, which included the release of your unreleased original version of "Got To Be Certain". Did PWL let you know this was coming out and how did you feel about it?
To be honest I can't remember them telling me but I do remember feeling really chuffed that people had a chance to hear my version. I did prefer the production on Kylie's though.

Apparently you turned down "Got To Be Certain", is this correct? Did you not feel right about the song at the time, or feel now looking back, that it would have been your breakthrough song in the UK, given it's success with Kylie?
I never turned it down, I think they just tried out songs from the vaults on different artists and went with the one that fitted the artist best. It would never have been my breakthrough song, Kylie had the gold touch at that time and if she'd have sung "I Just Can't Wait", I'm sure that would have been a hit too. Of course at times when I heard "Got To Be Certain" being played on the radio, I would sometimes think, that could have been me! (With a smile!)

After 21 years, your album "Mandy" has been released again in the UK, with the unreleased tracks and rare mixes. What a great CD collection and great achievement. How did you feel when you heard about the release?
With great surprise and I feel more proud of my album now, than I ever did. I was 16, 17 when I recorded most of the songs and I took it all in my stride but looking back, what an achievement/experience.

I remember you coming to Australia, winning many fans when you were here. "Victim Of Pleasure" was charting and getting a lot of radio play. Do you have any memories of coming here?
I loved Australia, I remember describing the people as being warmer than the English and more genuine than the Americans, real cool folk! Not very PC to say that, these days! One of the main memories I have are that of being really tired, because I had just done a mini tour of Japan, but I did enjoy my time there. I got to meet up with Kylie and Jason again and meet a family member of mine that I had never seen before.

You are one of rather few PWL acts who has always spoken to warmly and fondly about SAW and PWL, which is wonderful. What was the best thing about PWL for you?
They really were like a big family, everything was done in house (hence it being called, The Hit Factory) and I always felt protected and cared about, even though they had success on a big scale, they cared about the small stuff!

SAW did receive a lot of stick from the public, music snobs and sometimes even their own acts. How did you feel about that when you would hear it?
It happened to most artists who didn't write their own songs or played instruments, what I mean by that is, their egos kicked in and the critic's words kicked in and they all thought they could do better than SAW. It was a credibility thing. It happens in every walk of life, but the secret with SAW was, if it ain’t broke, don’t try and fix it!

Do you own many SAW records?
Yeah. I have some favourites like Banarama, Mel and Kim and Kylie.

The last CD you bought?
Lady GaGa.

Finally, Mandy there are a lot of fans who miss you. Do you have a message for them?
Thank you so very much for buying the songs that gave me such great opportunities in life, to travel and meet many different people. Every day I learn something new and I embrace it and my many past experiences have made me part of who I am today and that's a very contented, happy person. Thanks again and God bless.

Mandy's legendary debut single!

Pop Panel - Week 11

This is possibly the classiest Pop Panel yet. Not only is the legendary Monica Naranjo observing proceedings from the comfort of her gold toilet like an angelic prostitute but the line up also includes a 16 year old German transsexual, a Spanish bear band and a Latvian pop diva. Annoyingly, none of those acts won but I do approve of the champion and think it's a great "Single Of The Week". As an added bonus, the original panel is back for the first time in weeks:

D'Luv (US) writer of Chart Rigger
Mike author of this classy blog.
Pablo (Spain) writer of Peibols
Paul (UK) writer of Fizzy Pop
Rob (UK) writer of Don't Stop The Pop
The Prophet (AUS) writer of The Prophet

In addition to those hacks, we are joined by a fabulous celebrity guest judge in the form of Alan Connor, who is burning up the UK club chart with his summer smash "I Love The Sunshine". Over the years Alan has carved out his own little niche in the Hi-NRG dance world with hits like "Let Your Love Flow" and "Dance Away" and is currently promoting the impending release of his second album "Something Going On" on the 3rd of August. Alan was kind enough to answer some questions before getting on with the voting.

Alan, "I Love The Sunshine" has been huge in clubs and even gained support from Tiesto. How did the song come about?
"I Love The Sunshine" came about after I recorded "Let Your Love Flow". We had been shopping that track around Europe looking for partners to help promote it internationally and Deep Melange, a German production team, were very interested. They did some mixes for Germany and the track went out as Mike Melange featuring Alan Connor. They sent me this easy listening type demo called "I Love The Sunshine" which I thought had potential, so I went into the studio, changed the chord structure and added some guitars and it made the song. Beltek in Slovenia then did a mix of it which is when Tiesto picked it up and we decided then to go with it as a single. It's very different from what I have done before but it's found its own audience and introduced a lot of new people to my music.

You've really found a niche with your Hi-NRG dance/pop sound. Have you always been a fan of the genre?
I grew up in the 80s when Hi-NRG was the dominant form of chart music, thanks largely to PWL. A lot of my favourite artists were from that era - Bananarama, Dead Or Alive, Kylie, Hazell Dean, Sam Fox and Lonnie Gordon, who I got to work with. So many great records. I think I was lucky when I teamed up with 7th Heaven because they understood that sound, but were able to put a fresh spin on it as well.

Your second album is about to drop. Tell us about it. Will it feature all your club hits?
The new album is out early August and it's called "Something Going On", which is the last track I wrote for the album. I'm a big fan of Xenomania and I'd been listening to Girls Aloud "The Loving Kind" a lot, so it is my stab at writing something along those lines. It is probably my favourite track on the album. The whole record, bar two songs, is mixed or produced by 7th Heaven, and all of the hits are there - "Let Your Love Flow", "Now The Rain Has Gone", "Walking Away" and "Dance Away" as well as the current single, and the next one, "Sun Went Down". There are a couple more cover versions on there, including The Pet Shop Boys "Heart", complete with brass section, and a great version of Human Leagues' "Love Action" which I had a ball recording.

I think the key thing about the album though is that we didn't rush it. We picked the best songs we could for it so there really isn't any filler there. What you have is a collection of songs that all knit together well, but each one has it's own character, so it makes for a very stimulating dance pop record I think. We're releasing it on CD and download. I still like to have a nice shiny CD wherever possible! The digital version though has a couple of bonus 12" mixes, notably "Walking Away" which seems to have been very popular with Hi-NRG fans, because it really does sound like old skool PWL. There's also a commentary which is exclusive to iTunes. The CD is now available to order at play.com, Amazon UK and HMV among others.

Alan's latest top 10 club smash "I Love The Sunshine"

As usual, the songs are listed from least to most popular. Here they are:

Barb@zul - Siente El Orgullo (Video)

Spanish bear band release the theme song for this year's Barcelona Pride.

Alan Connor: Interesting. This is a song you just have to take for what it is. It has a really good Hi-NRG production and nice melody. Very 80s. Also reminds me a bit The Killers “Human”, which is my favourite record of the year so far. I don’t think it would do anything outside of the gay clubs but for its target market it’s a really great track. I am sure the video will be showing in every gay bar in Barcelona this summer until the laser burns through the disc! 4/5
D'Luv: Computer says no. 0/5
Mike: These guys are like Bearforce - only sexy and talented! The song is catchy, uplifting and loads of fun. I love the video and the bad dance routine. Can someone please tell me where I can download this fabulous shit? 4/5
Pablo: Aren't there any other Spanish singles? 0/5
Paul: Now normally I quite like bear bands. There was that Bearforce one who did quite a decent (read: horrific but enjoyable) Christmas number. And oh my, but I really quite like this. I do like a nice uplifting number and the gaytastic video only sweetens the deal. I think when I'm older and hairier I will become a bear and start a band. 3.5/5
Rob: Er....have they ripped off The Killers?!?!?! I think they have! Law suit, law suit! Putting aside the complete and utter clear issue of plagiarism this is a great little pop song for a nice cause. Well done boys but try and be a bit more original next year. 1.5/5
The Prophet: THE HORROR! MAKE IT STOP! JESUS TAKE THE WHEEL AND STEER ME AWAY FROM THE DEVIL'S GRASP! 0/5
Total: 13/35

Cassie Davis – Do It Again (Video)

Australia's answer to Pink/Fergie releases her 3rd single.

Alan Connor: This started out as a rock track and I could feel myself zoning out, but then the groove kicks in. Love the clapping. Very nice touch. I think overall this is a song that would need a few listens though. Generally it doesn’t really separate itself enough from other acts like Pink, which probably means it won’t do as well as it would if someone established recorded it. Great voice though and I think she will be around a while. 3/5
D'Luv: This sounds like Katy Perry singing through Natasha Bedinfield's snatch and out her ass. Now, I know what you're all thinking, but that's actually not a good thing. 1/5
Mike: Seriously, is Cassie being styled by Jeanswest? She looks like a secretary from Penrith. As for the song - I don't know what to say. It took two months for "Differently" to click with me, so I might be feeling "Do It Again" come September. However, right now I'd rather see Julie from Masterchef naked than hear this shit ever again. 1.5/5
Pablo: Now I understand why Kylie makes such low cost videos! Cos it's the way Australian people make videos! Saving money! The song rocks. Sounds like really, REALLY angry cheerleaders. 4/5
Paul: I really like some of her imagery, but this song isn't the strongest single that she has done or that should have been released. It's got more of a No Doubt vibe about it - some notes in the chorus really remind of that group. I do like it well enough though and I love her talky verses. 3/5
Rob: The song is really interesting. On that note she has so much potential. The jeans are a flop. In many ways this is the song that Kelly Clarkson should have picked for her comeback. Instead, Cassie D has delightfully nabbed this stomper for her own. I think the video really lets it down. However putting aside the presentation this little ditty is a strong song that deserves to do really well. And, more development from the record company. 3/5
The Prophet: OMG is she on her THIRD single? Are you serious? I'm sure she's probably talented but her songs are terrible, and I still haven't forgiven her for flirting up a storm with my man Travis McCoy. 0.5/5
Total: 16/35

Kim Petras – Die For You (Video)

16 year old German transsexual releases her debut single.

Alan Connor: Is this the first transsexual pop star since Dana International? Is she REALLY a transsexual? At 16?!! She's very pretty, and making a record at 16 is an achievement, but I don't rate the song at all. She has the look to do well but I don't think this is the song to sell her. 2/5
D'Luv: And here I thought BoA was the only transsexual we were getting to review this week! This ranks up there with some of Heidi Montag's so-shit-it's-class material, and it made me laugh. For that alone: 5/5
Mike: Oh bless her. This is one of the most trashtastic things I've seen in 2009. Kim is ten kinds of fabulous! 4/5
Pablo: Ok, I change my mind. THIS is a really low cost video. I have nothing against trannies, really. Actually Mike is one of them I still talk to him. But this song is really boring. 1/5
Paul: My god, she looks like that skinny druggy one from the OC. Marissa Barton! I can't help but feel that Kim is searching for something and that something would be a tune or at the very least an interesting note. Quite bland and boring. 1/5
Rob: Yikes, this is dreadful. More singing lessons will be a key investment for Kim. 0/5
The Prophet: She's cute for a tranny, I would have never known if you hadn't mentioned it. It's a shame then that she couldn't hold a tune in a bucket but I have a feeling she used her sex change for her own promotional gain in order to start a music career, so I love her for being such trash. 3/5
Total: 16/35

DJ Ella – Shine Like A Superstar (Below)

Latvian pop star unveils her latest dance anthem.

Alan Connor: I like this. She is gorgeous. Great outfit. At first I thought her boobs were hanging out!! I think this is really hooky and it’s the kind of record I would buy. This is from Latvia? Eastern Europe is producing some great new talent. In fact, thank God for Europe because they’re keeping pop music alive. 4/5
D'Luv: Generic. 1/5
Mike: Ella is absolutely stunning and the song is cute but it's all a bit tired and dated. If this were 2002 I'd probably give "Superstar" 5/5 but it's not, so I'm giving it 2 for the music and 1 for her fabulous hair. 3/5
Pablo: (Almost) every song with "superstar" in its title is worth it. At least for me. Easy and danceable. Quite good. 3/5
Paul: Oh "good" - more generic europop. Weren't Cascada doing this 3 years ago before they invented the Lady Gaga sound and then forgot to release it before her? Still I bemoan generic europop and then find myself singing it for days. It sounds like something StarPilots would sing if they were women. Which they are not. 2.5/5
Rob: I love Ella. The review will consequently be ultra biased. I love what they've done to this track. The album version never deserved to be a single. This version does. I've got a feeling this could have the same capacity to be huge like Agnes' "Release Me". Is it too europop though? Could be. It might stay in her familiar Polish territory. Either way, it's a brilliant tune for the summer set. Give a Cicada remix and you've got a UK hit single. 3/5
The Prophet: Eww! She's almost (but not quite) as bad as Colton Ford. 0/5
Total: 16.5/35

Jaydn Maria Ft Flo Rida – Good Girls Like Bad Boys (Video)

Former gospel star turned urban pop diva courtesy of Ne Yo.

Alan Connor: Great song title, and it’s probably another grower. Autotune is back. Yay! Not particularly a track I would be listening to much myself though. 3/5
D'Luv: I kept waiting for the deer to put its head up her woodland ditch in the video. JoJo did this schtick a lot better and more scandalous at a much younger age. 2/5
Mike: Jadyn Maria is like Stacie Orrico on crystal meth, which makes her my kind of diva. I've loved this since it leaked under the title "Villain" in January. Sure, it's a bit formulaic and I could have done without the Flo Rida rap but the chorus is catchy and I love the slutastic video. 4/5
Pablo: Oh, how new! I girl trying to look like Megan Fox with sexy costumes! This song is the least catchy in the panel. 1/5
Paul: Good gravy. This has been done a million times before. The verses that is. The chorus is quite enticing in a dark way. If that magic worked its way throughout the whole song, it would be a lot better. I do like it when religious girls go pop (except Katy Perry of course). 3/5
Rob: Flo Rida kinda gets about doesn't he. Sadly, this is another track that sames like everything else out there at the moment. By itself its not bad but when you consider the fact that songs like this are dime a dozen these days it makes the experience tried, tested and boring. If you wanna do it different look at the singer Kesha (another once-time Flo Rida collaborator) 0/5
The Prophet: I love Jadyn because she was after a music career for years but it never worked out, so she dropped the Christian thing and decided to let the pop industry consume and rape her. She's reminds me of a porn star and I've been bumping this song all year. Shame she's going to hell then isn't it? 4.5/5
Total: 17.5/35

BoA – Eat You Up (Video)

I stuffed this up. "Eat You Up" is actually the Korean superstar's last US single. I'll include her new one next week - much to the delight of Paul and Pablo.

Alan Connor: Pretty good track with a catchy chorus. It’s very current. They’ve aimed squarely at what would get picked up on US radio, right down to the autotune. Good luck to her. 3/5
D'Luv: At first I was confused — the long hair threw me and I thought for a minute that this was a girl. Anyway, he's got a great jam with this one. Yay, BoA! 4/5
Mike: This is a good, old fashioned fuck anthem. I just feel like "Eat You Up" should be accompanied by some kind of intercourse. Anyhoo, I love the track and the choreography in the video is amazing. BoA takes on Britney at her own game and wins. In a landslide. 5/5
Pablo: A Korean Girl trying to be Avril Lavigne sounding like Britney circa "Blackout" is quite similar to Fergie dressed like a torero trying to sing sevillanas. Picture that. This is the same. 1/5
Paul: It could be that I'm writing this at 4.03am because Mike will shout at me if I don't get it done today but this song has no merit as far as I can tell. She's a bit monotonous over the same old pop-club beat. I couldn't even get through the whole song! 1/5
Rob: Those Danes do it again. Yes, this sounds a lot like a 2009 hybrid of Robyn's "Keep This Fire Burning" and Brandy's "What About Us" but that's its endearing quality. 3/5
The Prophet: This song is so last year but if I think back correctly I was obsessed with it when they first released it. Her dancing reminds me of an Asian Janet Jackson, and the sexually suggestive lyrics are the icing on the cake. 4/5
Total: 21/35

Beyoncé – Sweet Dreams (Video)

The most poptastic number on "Sasha Fierce".

Alan Connor: I really like Beyonce. She’s made some great records. This is one of the stronger tracks from her album, and being Beyonce it will do very well. She’s a great singer, and I admire the fact that she doesn’t spoil her records with endless vocal runs just because she can do them. Radio will be all over this track. 3/5
D'Luv: Is it me, or does this sound like La Bouche's "You Won't Forget Me"? While I couldn't give a toss about this overrated ho, the probably-nonexistent tie to that late '90s jam gets it a: 4/5
Mike: Beyoncé creeps into Rihanna's urban dance territory with the skill of a ninja and gives that sad wannabe a worse beat down than Chris Brown in the process. "Sweet Dreams" is amazing - great production, evocative lyrics and a very sexy video. Now can we please have "Radio" or "Smash Into You" as the 27th single from "Sasha Fierce"? 5/5
Pablo: The song is good. I like it, really. But seriously I'm tired of Beyonce + 2 girls dancing. It's enough. 3/5
Paul: God help me but I'm really starting to like Beyonce! Oh my days! I wouldn't say that this is her most poptastic number but I do quite like this and am starting to consider even checking her album out. I thought the chorus was a bit bland at first, but by the end of the song I was singing along "turn the lights off" with the rest of them. 3.5/5
Rob: It's incredibly hard for me to be objective about Beyonce. Only because I find her voice grating. I think she is the worse thing ever to appear on the pop scene since whenever. I am constantly open to Sasha and her other alter egos. I always try to see why she sells so much. Why she wins so many appraisals. But alas I am at a loss. With the random exception of that song she did for Goldmember I can't seem to like this singer and this single doesn't change a thing. Absolutely crap. 0/5
The Prophet: LeToya's sophomore album "Lady Love" is now in stores and her new single "She Ain't Got..." is currently available for purchase on iTunes. 4/5
Total: 22.5/35

SINGLE OF THE WEEK

Bluey Robinson - I Know (below)

Debut single from upcoming British urban pop star Bluey.

Alan Connor: Very eye catching video. It’s probably the best of the videos here. Generally I am not into urban at all but I thought this was very good. He’s a strong, emotive singer with a good range. Chorus is memorable, production is top notch and I particularly like the driving force of the drums. I think he’ll be one to watch for and this I think is my pick of the bunch. A hit. Off to look up who produced this now!!! 5/5
D'Luv: Pretty decent, but the chorus feels lazy. Bluey should have spent more time with a pad and pen and less time on his wig. 3/5
Mike: Credit for this selection has to go to The Prophet. He posted it on his blog a few weeks ago and I've been obsessed with it ever since. It's so warm, uplifting and ruthlessly catchy. One of the better debut singles in recent memory. 5/5
Pablo: What is this? Those clothes? That Little Boots background? That red-haired girl? And this song? 1/5
Paul: Blimey. At first I thought who paid you to put this on the list (OVER PRESTON! Look I can shout too Mr Prophet) but then he wears a bow tie in the video so I thought I'll give it a go... It's quite insiduous in that it does get under your skin the more you hear it. He's got quite a nice voice too so overall j'approve. 3.5/5
Rob: Fuck me! This is brilliantly simple. This has made me change all my other rankings. Its so cute. There are shades of Tyler James in this and I wouldn't be surprised to know that he had a hand in Mr.Robinson's material. A great new act to watch out for. I love it. 5/5
The Prophet: Words cannot describe this, but my score can. 5/5
Total: 27.5/35