Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Twiggy's Disco Album

Until the recent unearthing of Twiggy's 1979 disco album, I was completely unaware that the emaciated 60s icon ever had a recording career. I ordered a copy of "Heaven In My Eyes" out of pure curiosity and I'm glad I did. According to the fascinating CD booklet, Twiggy enlisted the help of her close friend, Donna Summer, to co-produce the album with Juergen Koppers. Donna's influence can be heard on discotastic tracks like "Angels Never Sleep At Night" and "You've Been Lying", while Twiggy invokes a softer sound for the Wizard Of Oz inspired ballad, "Dorothy", and even goes a little bit country for the surprisingly lovely "Carries On".

However, it is the sleazy disco stormer "Heaven In My Eyes" that really gets me going. Twiggy shouts her way through the saucy lyrics against a throbbing bassline to great effect. I can almost see the shiny disco balls and smell the amyl. Given Twiggy's high profile and Donna's involvement, it's very surprising that the album was shelved until 2007! Twiggy's vocal ability is dubious at best but disco aficionados and trash lovers will find much to enjoy. The CD includes 4 bonus remixes and can be ordered here.

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Hannah's Dodgy Dealings

One of the best posts to emerge from the short lived but highly amusing Pop Trash Addicts forum honoured Hannah - a one "hit" wonder who garnered a degree of notoriety when it was revealed that her mum bought her a chart placing by purchasing several hundred copies of Hannah's debut single, "No Relief". This Sydney Morning Herald article outlines the situation in greater detail and it still fascinates me.

I can't help but feel sorry for Hannah. She was an utterly craptastic pop star but she tried really hard. I remember Hannah performing at shopping centres all over Sydney and I have a vague recollection of her miming to "No Relief" in a car park! As you can see from the scan, I rescued my beaten up copy of "No Relief" from a Big W bargain bin and it was $1 well spent. The song is not a masterpiece by any stretch of the imagination but it holds up as an enjoyable piece of pop fluff - albeit with really bad lyrics and dodgy vocals! I wonder what happened to Hannah. I hope there was some kind of silver lining to her ordeal.

Sunday, October 28, 2007

PTA Pop Awards (The Anti-ARIAs)

The above picture captures the highlight of this year's ARIA Awards - and Ricki-Lee's fabulous red carpet performance took place before the show even started. The nominations become more bogus with each passing year but 2007's nominees take the cake. It appears that you need to be a rock band or a boring as bat shit singer-songwriter to have a chance in hell of receiving any kind of industry recognition. I'm so dismayed with the event that I have decided to hand out my own awards in recognition of Australia's most poptastic performers. As far as I'm concerned, Sarah Blasko can sit on her ARIA and rotate.

Best Cover Version

He's The Greatest Dancer - Dannii

Dannii's #37 smash hit cover version of "He's The Greatest Dancer" stays true to the Sister Sledge original, creating a classic for a whole new generation of fags.

Magic - Melinda Jackson

Melinda turned "Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic" into three and a half minutes of poptastic bliss. One of the year's most under-appreciated anthems.

Son Of A Preacher Man - Deni Hines

Deni was born to belt out this classic. The Fat Rok Radio Mix takes the song to a whole new level.

Love Is All Around - Ricki-Lee

Forget Sweden's boring Agnes Carlsson. Ricki-Lee gives the Swede a singing lesson with this amazing cover.

Turn Me Loose - Young Divas

The Young Divas specialise in covers and "Turn Me Loose" is one of their best. The guest rapper is hilarious.

Most Welcome Return

Kylie

The queen of pop returns. Enough said.

Slinkee Minx

The lovely ladies finally got around to releasing their 3rd single - two whole years after their second offering.

Robyn Loau

The ex-frontwoman of Australia's much loved Girlfriend returned after several years in the pop wilderness. Did anyone else catch her cameo on Neighbours last week? I almost fell off my lounge chair!

Cheyne

The voice of Madison Avenue can still sing about looking sexy in a nightclub as well as the next slut. "(Maybe You'll Get) Lucky" is bliss.

Candice Alley

Candice made a successful comeback with a top 20 hit and released a floptastic album before disappearing again.

Best Pop Remix


Take It Off (Andy Caldwell Mix) - Brielle Davis

Andy Caldwell transformed a decent pop song into one of the year's truly great floorfillers.

Other honorable mentions:

I'm Coming Out (Mobin Master Mix) - Marcia Hines
Keep It Natural (Taylor Square Mix) - Cosima De Vito
Jump On Board (Tommy Trash Club Mix) - Betty Vale
Son Of A Preacher Man (Fat Rok Radio Mix) - Deni Hines


Best Unreleased Track

Delicious - Chloe Lattanzi

Olivia Newton-John's daughter might be crazier than La Toya Jackson but there's no denying that she is a major talent. "Delicious" is one of the most disturbing, touching and insanely catchy songs of the year.

Runners-Up:

Fake It Good - Melissa Tkautz
Not Enough - Melissa Tkautz
Lose Control - Kylie
The Other Side - Brielle Davis


Best Band

Young Divas

This group of Australian Idol rejects cops a lot of flack for their choice of material but I don't see any reason to mess with a winning formula. Their debut album is pop classic and the follow-up promises to be as good if not better.

Slinkee Minx

These lovely ladies released one of the year's best albums and a killer single, "Way Of Life". It's a utter tragedy that they haven't met with greater success.

Sneaky Sound System

The only decent pop act not to be ignored by the ARIAs. Sneaky Sound System's self-titled album is great fun and the excellent singles keep on coming.

The Hampdens

One of the few critically acclaimed bands not to bore me to tears. I love "Generation Y" and am looking forward to their album.

Girlband

They were kind of shit but "Electric", their second single (and last - as it turns out), was surprisingly good.

Best Video Clip


Looking For A Rabbit - Laura Imbruglia

This gorgeously animated video is a work of art.




Disco In My Car - Suzy Ray

Tacky costumes, poor special effects and a bad dance routine - "Disco In My Car" serves up everything I love in a video clip!




Viva Las Vegas - She Is The King

Australia's leading female Elvis impersonator decorated her first video with drag queens and gay boys. Colour me impressed.




She Devil - Robyn Loau

A stunningly beautiful video clip filmed at the magnificent 12 Apostles.




Sexy - Roxane

Indescribably tragic. I love it.

Most Anticipated Release

A tie between:


Unleashed - Dannii

It's kind of perverse to be so excited about collection of scrapped material but Dannii's old tat promises to be amazing.

X - Kylie

The leaked songs are all brilliant (with one obvious exception) and "2 Hearts" is deceptively fabulous. Bring it on!

Honorable mentions:

Songs Of Love And Loss - Tina Arena

Tiny Tina releases her first English language album since 2004 in December. The perfect Christmas present.

Get Me Home - Jade Macrae

Jade's record company is promising "sexy electro-pop and soulful vocals". They've won me over.

New Attitude - Young Divas

This collection of covers will include poptastic versions of "Jump" by The Pointer Sisters and Diana's "Chain Reaction". I've already ordered my copy!

The Just Fuck Off Already Award

Dulta

The dreary one's new album explores her blossoming sexuality with unintentionally hilarious results. Never before have so many bad metaphors appeared on the one album. This shit is almost unlistenable.

Missy Higgins

This cunt's pretentious music is almost as shithouse as Dulta's. I'd rather listen to feral cats fornicate.

Rogue Traders

Another album of soulless electro-pop voiced by the singing arsehole herself. Is the occasional melody too much to ask for?

Best Male Vocalist

The Chief

Yes, I'm serious.

Best Female Vocalist

Dannii

2007 belongs to Dannii with 4 albums scheduled for release in addition to one of the best singles of her career.

Runners Up:

Kylie

It must be cold there in Dannii's shadow.

Brielle Davis

This fabulous diva has released a killer single, an awesome acoustic EP and is sitting on a treasure trove of unreleased gems. 2008 might be her year.

Melinda Jackson

Another diva to watch. "Fall In Love" and "Magic" rank as two of the finest pop tracks of the year. Her debut album is scheduled for early next year.

Deni Hines

My homegirl has mad skillz. Deni raised the bar for local urban pop before conquering the jazz world with her stunning collaboration with James Morrison, "The Other Woman".

The Ripe For A Comeback Award


Collette
Pardon the pun, but this icon of the pop world still rings my bell. Someone give this goddess a record deal!

Other sorely missed local acts:

Girlfriend
The Chantoozies
Toni Pearen
Sirens


Album Of The Year

Electric Dreams - Slinkee Minx

A double album bursting with pop gems. Well worth hunting down.

Showgirl Homecoming - Kylie

The perfect souvenir for anyone who attended the concert.

Brand New Day - Ricki-Lee

A surprisingly accomplished and consistently excellent album. Vastly underrated.

Laura Imbruglia - Laura Imbruglia

Technically released late last year but this album hasn't left my stereo in 2007. I love every song and I'm convinced that Laura is my celebrity soulmate - in a non-stalker kind of way.

The Other Woman - Deni Hines & James Morrison

Deni's amazing voice combines superbly with James' phenomenal musicianship to breathe new life into some of the best songs ever written.

Single Of The Year

Touch Me Like That - Dannii

A throbbing dancefloor anthem built around a sample of Sylvester's "Mighty Real". Orgasmic.

Take It Off (Andy Caldwell Mix) - Brielle Davis

It was love at first listen.

Disco In My Car - Suzy Ray

Pure pop at its finest. I really hope it isn't the last we see of Suzy.

In The Basement - Jade Macrae

Australia's urban queen embraces pop with fantastic results.

2 Hearts - Kylie

Experimental Kylie makes me nervous but this is definately a grower.

The End!

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Cosima - This Is Now

The music industry can be a cruel place. A couple of years ago, Cosima was sitting close to the top of the heap. After placing 3rd on the first season of Australian Idol, Cosima scored a multi-platinum #1 hit and a gold selling debut album. Cut to 2007 and Cosima's second album, "This Is Now", misses the top 100 altogether. The irony is that Cosima has lifted her game. Words can not describe the sheer terror that 2004's "Cosima" induces. A collection of overwrought Diane Warren penned ballads, the album is almost criminally mundane. I wouldn't have even bothered listening to "This Is Now" if the first single hadn't turned out to be completely fabulous against all expectations. There's nothing as brilliant as "Keep It Natural" on the album but it is a massive improvement on her first offering and deserved to fare much better than it did. I blame the hideous cover. Here's a track by track rundown.


Keep It Natural - 9.5/10

I couldn't believe my ears when I first heard the Taylor Square remix of "Keep It Natural" in a club. Cosima not only proved that she could do more than belt out a power ballad, she managed to completely reinvent herself as a club diva. I'm still surprised by how well the new sound complements Cosima's big voice. Everything about "Keep It Natural" is excellent, from the production to the vocals and lyrics. It's a shame the Taylor Square remix isn't included on the album but this version is still high quality pop, if not quite as breathtaking.

Movin' On - 7/10

The second single from "This Is Now" is a fairly traditional break-up song. I have a feeling that this was meant to be the modern day answer to "I Will Survive" but it falls well short. That's not to say that it's not a good pop song. "Movin' On" is 4 minutes of highly enjoyable fluff. It's just not the anthem it needed to be. Cosima's voice sounds great and I like the chorus but the production is uninspired and the song is missing a hook. The Taylor Square remix from the CD single is also, surprisingly, something of a let down.

I Deserve Better Than That - 7.5/10

I ache for shit like "I Deserve Better Than That". Of all the tragic urban makeovers I can think of, this is possibly the least convincing. Cosima's ghetto groove makes "Red Blooded Woman" sound like a cut from "Straight Outta Compton". The song lacks all credibility but "I Deserve Better Than That" is not without charm. In fact, if you put Cosima's prim image to one side, the song is a lot of fun and proves yet again that the lady is at least trying to change things up. I like it - a lot!

I'm Free - 3/10

The old Cosima raises her ugly head. "I'm Free" is a dull, mid-tempo ballad with a hugely dated latin influence. My mum would probably love it but I'll give this crap a miss. The flamenco guitar is pleasant enough but "I'm Free" sounds at least a decade out of date.

Take Me Back Home - 8/10

I love a soppy ballad as much as the next fag, particularly one as understated and delicate as "Take Me Back Home". Cosima's greatest asset is her big voice (lord knows she can't rely on her charisma) but also her Achilles heal. Like most divas with powerful pipes, Cosima has a tendency to bludgeon the emotion out of a song by oversinging it. Thankfully, there is no sign of that here. Cosima has reigned her voice in and, ironically, has never sounded better. "Take Me Back Home" is unusually crisp and delicate. In fact, the song's simplicity reflects a country music influence. The result is one of the year's most charming and accomplished ballads.

I Forgive You Not - 6.5/10

You have to give the woman points for trying. 6 songs into the album and Cosima has already dabbled in 6 different musical genres. "I Forgive You Not" is Cosima's attempt to jump on the Kelly Clarkson rock/pop bandwagon and it's a pleasant, if somewhat generic and manufactured change of pace. I gave the song an extra half point for the dramatic "not" which ends the song!

Never Be A Woman In Chains - 5.5/10

"This Is Now" really is a mixed bag. Cosima's plan to demonstrate her versatility is commendable but it doesn't make for the most coherent album. "Never Be A Woman In Chains" begins like a rock anthem before sliding into a fairly innocuous girl power territory. Cosima's voice sounds great but the song sounds like something Tina Arena recorded in 1993. That's not a bad thing by any means but Cosima can do better.

So Alive - 6/10

Another ballad. "So Alive" is rather more overwrought than "Take Me Back Home" but it's strangely comforting to hear some old school Cosima. The opening piano line is lovely but the production soon becomes unnecessarily overbearing. Nevertheless, "So Alive" is a well crafted power ballad and Cosima's vocal gymnastics will have Celine Dion fans dripping.

Left Watching - 4.5/10

This really is an odd, little album. "Left Watching" begins with a guitar riff and dodgy lyrics about about Cosima wanting to keep her man before launching into a rather dreary mid-tempo chorus. It's still the early 90s in Cosima's world. "Left Watching" is a mess of styles, all of which are at least a decade past their used by date. No thanks.

Forever Young - 4/10

No, not another Alphaville cover but a boring piano ballad, complete with strings and an almost operatic vocal performance. I'm sure Cosima finds "Forever Young" deeply moving, I just find it a disappointing end to an otherwise interesting album. "This Is Now" is by no means the best pop album of the year. It's an incoherent mess of different genres and styles but this musical dog's breakfast offers the listener an intriguing insight into a talented performer who is trying hard to discover her sound. Cosima hasn't found it yet but "This Is Now" is a step in the right direction.

You can order "This Is Now" from Chaos and listen to a couple of the tracks on Cosima's Myspace. More information about this struggling diva can be found on her website.

Monday, October 22, 2007

An Australian Icon And Four Fabulous Divas

All hail the return of a true Australian icon! Tina Arena has been snapped up by EMI and is planning to release new material in Australia for the first time since being dumped by Sony in 2004. I'm incredibly excited by this. Tina has been a favourite of mine since Young Talent Time and no other local diva comes close to matching her powerful pipes. The new album is titled "Songs Of Love And Loss" and appears to be a covers album of tracks by the likes of REM, Burt Bacharach, Carole King and Dusty Springfield. What's more, Tina is about to embark on a national tour with a 35 piece orchestra to celebrate her return. You can order your tickets from Ticketmaster. Wild sex with George Clooney couldn't keep me away!

In other happy news, my favourite girlband - Young Divas - are back with a fierce new track, "Turn Me Loose". The song is a cover of Loverboy's 80s classic and is another slice of pop trash heaven. The presence of an obese rent-a-rapper just makes the whole experience even more hilarious. Girls Aloud and the Sugababes wish they could be this fabulous. New member, Jessica Mauboy, fits in nicely and the song is a fantastic choice. The divas' sexy stylist Gary Leeson has been working overtime. The ladies all look amazing. Paulini's "sex hair" weave is the hottest thing I've seen in ages. I just hope Team Sony open their wallets and commission some decent remixes this time around. "Turn Me Loose" is released on the 19th of November and can be pre-ordered here. Welcome back, girls! Make sure you check out the Divas' amazing performance of the song on last night's Australian Idol.

Sunday, October 21, 2007

Debbie Does The Soul Seekerz

2007 is turning out to be the year of ageing diva. Annie Lennox, Kylie, Thelma Houston, Celine Dion and Chaka Khan have all made waves with new or soon to be released albums. Sadly, Debbie Harry's first solo album in 14 years has been all but overlooked by everyone except her hardcore fans. I've been meaning to write something about "Necessary Evil" since its September release but I'm still trying to process it. Debbie has never played by the rules and her latest opus is another sublime mess of conflicting styles and genres. "Necessary Evil" remains something of an addictive mystery but one thing I'm not confused about is the quality of the album's first single, the superb "Two Times Blue".

"Two Times Blue" is Debbie's most immediate and catchy single since "I Want That Man". The irresistible blend of guitars and subtle electronic bleeps provides the perfect canvas for the most spine chilling chorus of the year. "Two Times Blue" is positively grand. Unfortunately, no one seems to have noticed. Happily, Debbie's gorgeous anthem is slowly finding an audience with dance fans thanks to the Soul Seekerz's brilliant remixes. Soul Seekerz are probably best known for working their magic on Dannii's "Perfection" (and for destroying Robyn's "Handle Me") but the "Two Times Blue" remixes could be their finest moment. The extended mix is truly a thing of beauty but I'm posting an equally fabulous radio edit.

"Two Times Blue" is yet to be released in Australia and as far as I know there are no plans to do so in the future. You should be able to find a copy of "Necessary Evil" on Ebay or you could order it from Amazon or HMV UK. Make sure you check out Debbie's Myspace and drop by Soul Seekerz' Myspace while you're there. Don't be put off by the video clip for "Two Times Blue" (below) - it's kind of terrifying but the song is pure bliss!

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Copacabana - Amanda Lear Style!

Sorry for the recent lack of updates but I've spent the week doped up at home after having an operation on Tuesday. I'm having internet withdrawals, so I thought I'd use the fifteen minutes before Bold & The Beautiful to write a quick post. Expect this to be a high quality read! I've been meaning to review a couple of albums but I think I'll leave that for a time when I've swallowed less pills than Liza Minnelli. Instead, I've drawn inspiration from two of my favourite Blogs. Poplicious and Disco Delivery both currently feature the divine Amanda Lear. This goddess is truly in a league of her own. Amanda's life story plays like an Almodovar film on crack. There are prostitution rumours, reputed sex changes, celebrity lovers and an engagement as Salvador Dali's muse. Read a fantastic summary of Amanda's amazing life here. I particularly love this excerpt about Amanda's run in with Claudia Schiffer:

A Hollywood movie producer had optioned Lear's book My Life With Dali and wanted Schiffer to play Lear. "I ran into Claudia at a restaurant," Lear recalls. "She said, 'I love your book! Who wrote it for you?' I said, 'I did, darling. Who read it to you?' So that was the end of that. They never made the movie."

Amanda's fabulous career has spanned 4 decades. I love Miss Lear's superb disco albums but I'm also rather partial to her recent forays into dance music. I'd like write something coherent about Amanda when I'm not high on painkillers, so I've decided to post Amanda's tragic 2005 cover of "Copacabana". Amanda obviously put no effort into recording it, so I'm hoping no one will mind if I put minimal effort into reviewing it! "Copacabana" originally appeared on Amanda's 2005 best of "Forever Glam" and it's representative of the fabulously camp crap that she has been releasing lately - spoken vocals, hilarious production and interludes in French. You'll either love it or hate it. I fall squarely into the former category.

You can purchase "Forever Glam" from Amazon UK and Amazon Germany. Make sure to check out Amanda's website. I'm off now to see if Stephanie takes away Brooke's children!

Saturday, October 13, 2007

Pop Bits

It's time for another bitch about recent events in the wonderful world of pop! I'll start with some exciting news. Despite taking a decade off between her first and second studio albums, pop trash favourite Deni Hines somehow managed to record and release her third offering in a matter of months. "The Other Woman" is a huge change of pace for Deni. Australia's urban queen has reinvented herself as a jazz diva with the help of James Morrison and the results are sublime. "The Other Woman" was released yesterday. Autographed copies are available for a limited time from Chaos. Expect a full review in the near future!

My 2 Cents On 2 Hearts

By now everyone and their fag hag has commented on Kylie's comeback single but I thought I would throw in my two cents. Despite loathing the demo, I've fallen in love with "2 Hearts". Kish Mauve have crafted the musical equivalent of watching Hedwig & The Angry Inch on Valium. "2 Hearts" is a bit glam, a bit tragic and most probably quite profound - if I knew what the fuck was going on. While the song continues to grow on me with every listen (and I admire Kylie for having the balls to come back with something completely different), I still think "2 Hearts" is an abysmal choice for the first single. Kylie needed to come back with a bang - not with a song that leaves people scratching their head until the 23rd time they hear it. No wonder Parlophone are already lining up the second single. Expect "2 Hearts" to fall down the charts faster than Dannii's knickers in a dyke bar!

The song might be somewhat perplexing but the video for "2 Hearts" won me over immediately. It's tacky, slightly embarrassing and by far my favourite Kylie video since the masterpiece that is "Please Stay"! Here is my blow by blow review:

0.10 I wonder if Carol whipped out her Bedazzler to gay up Kylie's skull microphone.

0.15 Kylie looks nice in the dark.

0.25 Camping it up on a piano. Will Kylie start a trend for glow in the dark moon tans?

0.35 Kylie's channelling her character from The Delinquents with the peroxide blond hair and home perm. I like!

0.45 Girlfriend is looking mighty fine lying upside down on said piano.

0.50 Has Kylie hired Roxette to play her band in the video?

1.05 This video is cheaper than
"Perfection" - and I swear that was filmed on Dannii's mobile phone!

1.20 Kylie looks like she's wearing my grandmother's house dress and clogs. Knicker flash! That's more like it.

1.25 Those shoes are foul.

1.40 Kylie looks like a pissed housewife at karaoke. I love this tacky shit!

1.50 Almost spilled my drink. Kylie's strut to the microphone in what appears to be a sequined wetsuit is FIERCE! Work it, bitch!

1.55 Kylie's cocked eyebrow of death! That microphone would look nice in my lounge room.

2.00 Having visions of Jem & The Holograms.

2.10 Shake that money maker!

2.15 Is that a man or a woman on guitar?

2.25 Glitter explosions and a jumping guitarist! Surely this is a piss take.

2.45 Kylie was made to straddle that amp. HOTNESS!

2.50 End


At least Kylie no longer has to worry about having egg on her face if "2 Hearts" misses the top spot in the UK. The Spice Girls are now releasing their own comeback single in the same week as Kylie and are overwhelming favourites for number 1. The slappers have also announced the tracklist for their upcoming Greatest Hits compilation. It looks pretty boring to me:

1. Wannabe
2. Say You'll Be There
3. 2 Become 1
4. Mama
5. Who Do You Think You Are
6. Move Over
7. Spice Up Your Life
8. Too Much
9. Stop
10. Viva Forever
11. Let Love Lead The Way
12. Holler
13. Headlines (Friendship Never Ends)
14. Voodoo
15. Goodbye

Got GBH?

It seems poor Jade Macrae was drugged when she hit the tiles on the gay scene last weekend. Happily, Jade managed to wring some publicity out of the experience in yesterday's Sydney Confidential:

7th Single

Pink is gearing up to release the 7th single from her 8 times platinum album "I'm Not Dead" in Australia. That might sound like overkill but 5 of those singles have hit the top ten and the album remains firmly entrenched in the top twenty 80 weeks after release! The new single, "Cuz I Can", isn't as shit as the title would suggest. But then again, I'm rather partial to songs about ice cream! Good for her. Pink isn't the only pop star who is continuing to flog a not so dead horse. Justin Timberlake is promoting the 6th single from "Future Sex/Love Sounds" - a frightful duet with Beyonce called "Until The End Of Time". I think Timbaland is starting to take the piss.

Note To Robyn

What's got into Robyn? The former queen of cool has remodelled herself as the poor man's Dannii Minogue. First she steals Dannii's favourite DJs to remix "Handle Me" and then blatantly rips off Dannii's "So Under Pressure" video - only without Dannii's lack of clothing and phallic snake. The new "Handle Me" video is piss poor. Robyn looks absolutely revolting and the concept is clearly derivative. It's a pity because the original "Handle Me" video is a masterpiece. Give me Robyn riding a bike through the hood in a red cocktail gown over this Boxing Helena tribute any day.

Dulta's Un-airbrushed Album Cover


Two Fabulous Divas

One of my favourite local divas, Brielle Davis, will be performing around Sydney this week. If you missed tonight's show at the Brass Monkey, you can still catch Brielle at The Harp Hotel next Saturday. Brielle's acoustic EP is available from her website. Congratulations are in order for Melinda Jackson on reaching #5 on the AIR (Independent) Chart with her poptastic anthem "Magic". Keep an eye out for Melinda's debut album, scheduled for release later this year.

On a personal note, I'd like to thank the people who dropped by our trashy forum. I knew it was going to be outrageous but even I wasn't expecting this!

Gimme Cock!

No, I haven't confused my blog with my gaydar profile. "Gimme Cock" isn't a horny plea on my behalf (I'm at least a day away from being that desperate!) but rather the name of Deirdre Halliwell's stunning new single - a breathtaking cover of Britney's "Gimme More". Deirdre is one of the internet's true originals. Her fabulous mission is turning pop songs into smutty anthems and Britney's latest hit was always going to be ripe for the picking! "Gimme Cock" is Deirdre at her sleazy best. It's witty, filthy and performed with more panache than Britney could ever muster. I think my favourite part is the line about Deirdre flashing her hairy gash. Classy!

Give an old bird a cheap thrill and say hello to Deirdre on her Myspace or Bebo listing!

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Comeback Of The Decade - Melissa Tkautz!

Australia's queen of trash is on the comeback trail - yet again! Melissa Tkautz really is the most determined diva in show business. The last I heard, Melissa was lining up to play herself in a zombie movie after being dropped by her short sighted record company. As much as I love the idea of Mel running from zombies in hotpants and high heels, I was even more excited to learn that this living legend is back in the studio!

I started to get suspicious that Melissa had something on the boil when she re-surfaced on the social scene, looking breathtaking at the Urban Music Awards and appearing as a costume judge at this year's Sleaze Ball. Classy! I did a bit of digging and discovered that Melissa is indeed poised for yet another comeback. Apparently, Melissa is busy recording an album of DJ collaborations. I'm not sure what that means exactly but Melissa and dance music sounds like a winning combination to me! I'll be interested to learn if any of the songs from her recent scrapped album are included. I was lucky enough to hear some of the tracks from it recently and they are, without a doubt, some of the best material she has ever recorded. "Fake It Good" and "Not Enough" are both potential smash hits!

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

Jade Macrae - In The Basement

Jade Macrae's pop makeover is as fabulous as it was unexpected. Jade was launched as Australia's answer to Beyonce a couple of years ago and instantly became the poster girl for our surprisingly diverse urban scene after a string of top 50 hits - most notably the magnificent Kelis rip-off So Hot Right Now. I liked Jade's debut album but her latest single takes her to a whole new level.

"In The Basement" represents a huge change of direction for Jade. Recorded in Stockholm's famous Maratone studio and produced by Max Martin's associate Arnthor Birgisson, Jade's new single is a slinky pop extravaganza. Gone are the urban adornments of her first album, "In The Basement" is unashamedly POP! Jade's new sound is a perfect fit for her voice and glamorous image. I can't help but feel that this fabulous diva has found her true calling. "In The Basement" has all the hallmarks of a pop classic - smutty lyrics, killer beats, a camp spoken interlude, high quality production and an insanely catchy chorus!

If Britney came up with something half as good as this song it would be number 1 for months. Which takes me to my next point. Australian radio is run by a pack of arseholes. "In The Basement" is undoubtedly one of the best Australian tracks of the year and could not be any more radio friendly. And yet, all I hear when I turn on the radio is that crack whore stripper, Ne-Yo and Rihanna. What does a local artist have to do to get some airplay? It doesn't help that the single is impossible to find in stores. In the circumstances, it's amazing that Jade managed to chart at all. The single is well worth ordering from Chaos for the remixes and B-side. I actually quite like the ghettotastic MPHAZES Remix but the club mix is more my style. I was expecting the usual tacky dance anthem but this is surprisingly dark and sexy. The link will only be up for a short time. If you like it, do this poor diva a favour and order the song or download it from iTunes.

Jade is about to embark on a string of live shows to promote her upcoming album "Get Me Home" - which is described as sexy electro-pop! Pre-order your copy here. To learn more about this fabulous talent, check out Jade's website and Myspace. Don't forget to watch the sexy video!

Sunday, October 7, 2007

Brace Yourself For Jeannie Dee!

Every so often you hear a song that stops you dead in your tracks with its sheer magnificence. Jeannie Dee's "Bed Of Nails" is one of those rare tunes that stands out as a classic from the very first listen. I was sent Jeannie's masterpiece a couple of months ago by the lovely Deirdre Halliwell but never got around to listening to it until last week when "Bed Of Nails" popped up on my Ipod during a random shuffle. I was completely transfixed by the song's epic fabulousness and immediately set about researching the sultry chanteuse behind it.


Who wouldn't want to wake up next to sexy Jeannie?

Jeannie Dee is an all singing, all dancing drag sensation from Kent, England. Unlike other drag divas who mime to popular hits, Jeannie performs her own material - live! I'm not only blown away by Jeannie's stunning vocal ability and magnetic charisma, I also really admire what she stands for. This sexy minx is living proof that you're never too old to reinvent yourself. Jeannie only started performing 5 years ago - at the ripe, old age of 58. Yes, it's hard to believe that this gorgeous specimen is 63 years old! At an age when most blokes are getting prostate exams and contemplating retirement, Jeannie slipped on her sexiest wig and recorded one of 2007's best pop moments!

"Bed Of Nails" is a corker of a song, which manages to be both hilarious and insanely catchy. From the opening prologue about Jeannie being a demonic goddess, to the hilarious spoken verses and explosive chorus - this is a first class pop anthem! I'm glad that Jeannie eventually found her calling in life as a pop star. The Spice Girls should hire Jeannie as a consultant for their comeback tour. I'm sure she could teach those lazy tramps a thing or two about stage presence. Just watch this astonishing life performance of "Bed Of Nails" - what a pro!


Visit Jeannie's Myspace to learn more about this stunner. Make sure you check out Jeannie's latest tune, "Jesus On A Motorbike"!

Thursday, October 4, 2007

Pop Goddess Joanne - Volume 4

Welcome to the latest installment of my continuing retrospective on the career of Australia's fabulous Joanne. The first three volumes have covered Joanne's legendary "Jackie" as well as her next two (highly underrated) singles and "Breakin' There's No Stoppin' Us" - Joanne's collaboration with Ilanda. Amazingly, the best was yet to come for this extraordinary talent!

"Busted" was Joanne's first solo single in over two years and it represented a major change in direction. The techno influence that shaped her earlier material had given way to a polished pop sound with subtle R'n'B elements thrown in for good measure. Joanne clearly had her eye on Kylie's pop crown and for a while there she seemed as likely a contender as anyone. "Busted" is a blissful piece of pop music. From the opening schoolyard taunts to the camp lyrics and Joanne's formidable vocal delivery, this is top shelf pop. The song received considerable radio airplay and peaked at #36 - Joanne's second biggest single at that point. I can't help think that it would have fared considerably better if it had been released sooner.

Stay tuned for further Joanne installments. "So Damn Fine" and "I Don't Know" stand out as two of the best Australian pop moments of the decade!

Monday, October 1, 2007

Pop Trash Addicts - The Website & Forum!

A few months ago I had a conversation with my good friend (and famed Church Of La Toya creator) Jamie about starting a new blog together. The idea didn't really go anywhere until we were rudely thrown out of our favourite La Toya forum for posting erotic fan fiction and decided we would make our own damn website! Somewhere along the way Jamie convinced me to expand on idea behind this blog and after months of swapped e-mails, MSN conversations and our fair share diva tantrums - it's finally fit for public display!

I plan to continue with this blog as normal. The new site is just more of the same - only with extra tragic flavour courtesy of Jamie! I can take or leave the main page (sorry Jamie!) but I'm very proud of our A-Z diva gallery. I'm quite sure it's the only site on the internet to showcase the talents of Bionda, Liza Minnelli, Dannii, Nicki French, Brielle Davis, Robyn, La Toya, Millie Jackson, Melinda Jackson and Deni Hines (among others)!

Other features include our banned La Toya fan fiction, reviews and an overview of upcoming releases. We've even managed to twist Deirdre Halliwell's arm to be our resident agony aunt! I'm also pretty excited about our forum. We're not trying to be Pop Justice or Togerland. I'll be very happy if we can bring together 10 trash loving fans for cosy conversations about our favourite budget divas. Please feel free to register and say hello!

Neither Jamie or I are particularly good with computers and it shows. The site looks pretty cheap but I think it suits the low class divas we're showcasing! Please keep in mind that this is very much a work in progress. I really hope you like it!

Enter the new and improved Pop Trash Addicts