You're looking at the cover of "All I See", to be released digitally on the 11th of March as the first American single from "X". Overlooking the lazy artwork (that picture has already been used twice!), it's a relief to finally have some concrete details. "All I See" is my favourite cut from "X" and surely the best choice to spearhead an American campaign. However, I'm appalled by the decision to pollute the song with a completely unnecessary rap interlude courtesy of Mims. I guess Baby Bash was busy.
The beauty of "All I See" is its ability to evoke memories of American pop before it succumbed to rent-a-rappers and soulless grooves. The rap doesn't destroy what is otherwise a perfect pop song but it leaves a sour taste in my mouth. In my opinion, Kylie's distinctly un-American pop sound is her biggest asset for a US campaign. It makes her stand out from the crowd, while Americanized Kylie just sounds like any other ho on the radio. What's next? "Wow" featuring T-Pain for US audiences? If this is just a ploy to get Kylie some US airplay, then so be it. I take some heart from the fact that the digital release appears to be the fantastic album version of "All I See". Hopefully sanity will prevail and we'll get the original version for the inevitable international release!
Oh, one last piece of Kylie news. According to my contacts, "In My Arms" will be the 3rd single in the UK and Australia - not "The One". I know some fans will be disappointed but I hope it's true. It would be a shame to waste "In My Arms" and they can always save "The One" for a later single. It just leaves the burning question - when is the hugely underrated "Stars" gonna get some loving?
In keeping with my Mardi Gras theme, today's subject is the reigning queen of the European gay pop scene. If Iceland's Pall Oskar were any more out of the closet, he'd be in outer space! Loud, outspoken and extremely camp - Pall has been winning fans around the world since first coming to fame as a Eurovision contestant in 1997. He might have only placed 20th in his heat but his outrageous performance (accompanied by a group of PVC clad sluts) left a lasting impression. Over the past decade, Pall has become a national hero in Iceland and a familiar face at Pride events across Europe.
As much as I enjoy Pall's latest album (check out this camp delight!), I find the language barrier too overwhelming. I'm sure I'd appreciate the music a lot more if I had some idea what he was singing about. I guess that's the reason why I'm still so enamoured by Pall's 1999 English language debut, "Deep Inside". The album is a brash portrait of gay life, from the bitter ( the touching "No One To Love") to the sweet. My favourite cut is the bright and shiny pop explosion, "Born This Way". This strikes me as the ultimate Mardi Gras anthem - an unapologetic declaration of self-acceptance. Be warned, this tune is gayer than Kylie and Dannii rollerskating past a Streisand concert!
If you think "Born This Way" is the pinnacle of fabulousness, check out Pall's amazing Dionne Warwick drag act (below)! I was stunned by the physical transformation and the uncanny performance. I'm completely mesmerised by his faithful rendition of "I Say A Little Prayer". I hope Pall brings out an entire album of swinging Bacharach & David covers. Check out Pall's Myspace for more information and order his music from here. Mardi Gras really needs to import this fabulous fag for next year's event!
With Sydney's Mardi Gras season in full swing, I've decided to spend this week focusing on some of the campest anthems in my collection. Two of my favourite slices of poofter pop come to you courtesy of Holland's finest disco diva - the extremely fabulous Donna Lynton. I guess you could say that Donna is the Dutch Marcia Hines - an American expat who discovered fame in her adopted homeland courtesy of a brilliant voice and some extremely fabulous tunes.
Donna spent the early part of the 1970s touring with a late incarnation of the legendary girl group The Ronettes. In 1976 Donna married a Dutchman and moved to the Netherlands, where she quickly established herself as a local star, largely thanks to her discotastic Theme From Charlie's Angels. As fabulous as that song is, the best was yet to come. By 1982 disco was all but dead - everywhere it seems except groovy Holland. Donna's first Dutch album, the classily titled "Prima Donna", contains two of my favourite disco anthems. I haven't heard the whole album but I can only imagine how brilliant it is if "Bridge Of Love" and "Passion For Paris" are any indication.
"Bridge Of Love" is the ultimate camp delight. From the opening horns to the ridiculous lyrics about building "a bridge of love across the sea", this fabulous anthem makes me swoon. Donna's fierce vocals and the song's booming chorus are just two reasons why this is one of the underrated gems of the entire 1980s. Close your eyes and you can see the spinning disco balls! "Passion For Paris" is just as delicious. Donna's ode to French nightclubs not only contains the immortal line "I'm feeling Ooh la la for France!" but generally rips off "Lady Marmalade" in the most exquisite way. The "Paris is burning in my soul" refrain, in particular, is just divine. These two tunes are guaranteed to light up any dancefloor!
Like most disco queens, Donna's string of hits came to an abrupt halt in the mid-1980s. However, this diva soldiered on - singing at parties and on luxury cruises until making a comeback in 2004 thanks to a tv appearance. Donna has since formed a Supremes tribute act and currently has a role in the Dutch production of "Fame". If you're still not convinced about Donna's unparalleled fabulousness check out the amazing clip below. 55 year old Donna whips at least 20 fans into a frenzy with a stunning rendition of "I've Got The Music In Me" at a Dutch shopping centre. Lovely Donna works the crowd like the old pro that she is - dancing with the security guard is a particularly classy touch! I'm forever grateful to my friend Jeroen for bringing this magnificent diva to my attention.
The music industry could show the rest of the business world a thing or two about recycling. I'm not talking about the rampant sampling that goes on or the flood of cover versions but the popular practice of reviving old ideas. That's not necessarily a bad thing. Take the UK's fabulous new girlband Electrovamp - they strike me as the reincarnation of Shampoo with a touch of Daphne & Celeste thrown in for good measure. We've heard it all before but in comparison to their lacklustre pop contemporaries, Electrovamp sound positively groundbreaking. Despite a mixed response to their debut single in the UK, "I Don't Like The Vibe In The VIP" has been picked up for an Australian release - probably to cash in on the success of another electropop duo, The Veronicas. Yes, familiarity is a highly prized commodity in the pop world!
Electrovamp are two naughty teenage sisters from Cardiff. I can't find a lot of information about Tammy and Kally on the net but it appears they previously performed under the name Cookie and Kute - and suffered the indignity of supporting Sluts Aloud on their "Waking Up The Neighbours" tour. In fact, there is more than a touch of Xenomania about "I Don't Like The Vibe In The VIP". The formulaic beats, pounding bass and guitar are all on display. Thankfully, the song is saved from being another electro-bore by the fun lyrics and Electrovamp's cheeky attitude. The dirty dollies chirp "I'll be your schoolgirl dream" before promising "I'll make you scream like you ain't done it in ages!" This is exactly the kind of cheerfully tawdry filth Shampoo would be making if they were still around today. As much as I like the song, the video (below) sealed the deal for me. Girls flashing their tits, a lesbian orgy in the pool, coke snorting and simulated oral sex - for a while there I thought I was watching an episode of "Skins"!
"I Don't Like The Vibe In The VIP" is released in Australia on the 3rd of March. You can pre-order your copy here. I particularly like the Jack Rokka mix, which you can hear on Electrovamp's myspace.
It's time for a trash flashback! With the release of "Thriller 25" and the impending arrival of Janet's latest porn soundtrack, I've got to thinking about my favourite Jackson - holy Toy Toy. People always think I'm being sarcastic when I declare my love for La Toya but I'd easily rank her as one of my 10 favourite divas - top 5 if the lazy bitch would hurry up and release something new. As a pop trash icon, Toy's fabulousness is unparalleled. While other divas have thrown in the towel, La Toya has weathered a 30 year career of flops and failures with the determination of a mule. None of Toy Toy's 10 stunning albums have produced any hits but she keeps on rolling with the punches. Today I'm going to focus on one of Toy's most outrageous career lows - her trashtastic duet with Tom Beser, "Don't Break My Heart".
By 1997 La Toya was at an all time low (even by her standards). She had finally escaped from an abusive husband only to discover that she was a virtual leper in the US. So La Toya turned to Europe, where she could still trade off her surname. Never one to take a lucky break, poor Toy Toy ended up on the books of Tom Beser - a German producer of some disrepute. Tom tried to drum up publicity by claiming he had sex with Toy and allegedly conned her into a German club tour on the pretext of carrying out charity work. La Toya eventually came to her senses and left the project. Most producers would have called it a day but Tom pressed ahead, releasing their duet in 1998. To cover the absence of his duet partner, Tom simply hired a La Toya impersonator for live appearances!
Amazingly, "Don't Break My Heart" isn't a complete disaster. In fact, far from it. I love the tacky Euro-pop production and La Toya's stunning vocals are always sweet music to my ears. The whole damn thing is actually pretty catchy. The chorus is great and Tom's mind boggling "rap" is more amusing than it is embarrassing. I can't help but feel "Don't Break My Heart" would have at least been a small hit without Tom's unusual approach to promotion. Fans of cheap and cheerful Euro-pop should find a lot to like about this trashy gem. Enjoy!
Today marked the arrival of Kylie's 45th Australian single (46th if you include the 1999 re-release of "Better The Devil You Know"). I always get excited about adding to my Kylie collection but "Wow" makes a particularly fabulous addition. From the very first listen, "Wow" is quintessentially Kylie. Dannii's desperate and dateless sister doesn't have the best voice in pop and, lord knows, she isn't the greatest dancer but no other diva comes close to matching her ability to churn out three minutes of pure pop perfection. "Wow" is a great example of what Kylie does better than anyone else. Reminiscent of her finest SAW material in its charming simplicity, the only purpose of this fabulous piece of fluff is to put a smile on your face and get your feet moving.
"Wow" is not only Kylie's best single in many a year, the entire package is flawless. The Australian cover (above) is beautiful and the remixes are impressive. Better yet are the magnificent B-sides. "Carried Away" heralds the return of Trash Kylie, who has sadly been missing in action since "Light Years". This fabulous slice of Euro-dance boasts an exquisite chorus, cheerfully demented production and wonderfully dubious lyrics. The second B-side is just as good. "Do It Again" is Kylie's gayest offering since "Your Disco Needs You". I love the craptastic sound effects and the divine spoken interlude. Both tracks were written and produced by the team behind "Wow" and they all share the same joyous sensibility.
In addition to the physical single there are three digital bundles available on Australian iTunes. One bundle contains the "Wow" remixes, another bundle serves up an excellent mix of "2 Hearts", while a third collects the B-sides. That bundle includes the download only B-side "Cherry Bomb". I prefer "Carried Away" and "Do It Again" but "Cherry Bomb" is superior to the other Bloodshy & Avant produced tracks on "X" ("Speakerphone" and "Nu-Di-Ty"). Time to get downloading!
Valentine's Day is a cruel and unusual punishment for those getting over a bad relationship. Since kicking my ex-boyfriend to the curb, I've bounced from one loser to the next. I'm sure there are some decent men left in Sydney but I'm damned if I can find them among the fetishists, drug dealers and "straight acting" bi-guys littering the scene. Excuse my rant but it's hard to get excited about a day that celebrates romance when you know you're going to end up a barren, old spinster like Kylie! I can deal with the loved up couples and the knowledge that the only cock I'll be getting my hands on tonight is my own but hearing sappy love songs on the radio all day is more than I can stand. Thankfully there is a perfect antidote to the schmaltzy ballads in the form of Samantha Malmgren's stunning "U Turn".
"U Turn" was recommended to me by the lovely Poster Girl, who correctly assumed that Samantha's classy anthem would be right up my alley! As far as I'm concerned, the demure Ms Malmgren is the most fabulous diva to emerge from Sweden since my beloved Bionda. After crashing out of Swedish Idol, Sam followed the well worn road of many a tragic diva and got her kit off for a men's magazine (in her case, the charmingly titled "Slitz"). Samantha's raunchy image resulted in a record deal and she is currently shaking up the Swedish pop scene with her breathtaking debut single. "U Turn" is an attitude laden pop gem. I love the foulmouthed chorus ("burn, motherfucker, burn"!) and Sam's emotionless delivery. Apart from helping the bitter and disenchanted through Valentine's Day, "U Turn" also happens the best workout song I've heard in ages. That pumping dance beat makes me want to move! The video is particularly amusing - Sam discovers her boyfriend cheating on her so she takes up boxing, prances around in a leather bodysuit and heads to his house with a samurai sword. The big finale is ambiguous but I think she takes that cheating scumbag out!
I have no idea if "U-Turn" was a hit - or has even been officially released in Sweden - but apparently Samantha is promoting the song at erotic festivals held by "Slitz" magazine! This fierce bitch had better hurry up and release an album. I'm hooked! Many thanks to Poster Girl for sharing this musical triumph with me.
The beginning of the year is always something of a drought for quality pop and 2008 has been more barren than most. With the exception of Kylie's various international singles and Korea's fabulous Wonder Girls nothing has really grabbed my attention - until now. Kate Alexa's poptastic cover of Womack & Womack's "Teardrops" is the three minute serve of catchy pop fun that I've been hungering for.
The most exciting thing about "Teardrops" is the exciting new direction of Kate's music. I enjoyed the guitar pop sound (think pre-"Dignity" Hilary Duff) of "Broken & Beautiful" but it did come across as a slightly desperate attempt to crack the teen market. "Teardrops" is a complete rebirth for Kate - her voice is better suited to the material, the sound has a much needed contemporary edge and she looks comfortable with her glamorous new image. Womack & Womack's 80s classic is one of my favourite songs, so I was somewhat concerned about the song selection. Germany's No Angels butchered "Teardrops" last year, stripping every ounce of soul from the track with their flat vocals and cheap dance beats. Kate's version is softer and sweeter, replacing the melancholy of the original with sheer youthful exuberance. I particularly love the cameo by American rent-a-rapper Baby Bash. Instead of spoiling the song, the quirky rap interlude breathes new life into "Teardrops", giving this very poptastic track the slightest sheen of urban credibility.
The video (below) is also surprisingly excellent. I recently read that Kate hired William Baker to revamp her image. I'm not sure if that's true but I wouldn't be surprised. There is more than a touch of Kylie in Kate's new look and the video clip is very reminiscent of "Spinning Around" - only with a trashtastic ghetto interlude and some fabulously cheap special effects! I really hope Kate gets a fair go this time around. Her first album was unfairly dismissed as an act of nepotism by her father (Michael Gudinksi - the founder of Mushroom Records and the man who first signed Kylie way back in 1987), which is just ridiculous. If my dad ran a record company, I'd expect him to help me out too. "Teardrops" is a spectacular single regardless of Kate's connections and deserves to be judged on its merits.
"Teardrops" hits stores on the 3rd of March. Pre-order your copy here and check out Kate's Myspace for more information.
It's time for another rundown of recent events in the Aussie pop world. By far the biggest revelation of the past week (if not the past century) is news that Melissa Tkautz is kicking off her 37th comeback with a new single to be released on the 10th of March! I mentioned the rumours regarding Mel's comeback in my recent Cherry post and for a change, the whispers turned out to be correct. Melissa's comeback single is indeed a cover of Transvision Vamp's "I Want Your Love"! The sure to be amazing anthem is credited to Nick Skitz featuring the sublime Ms Tkautz, which is a rather clever way of marketing this fabulous diva to the club scene. Pre-order your copy here. "I Want Your Love" is going to be a hit if I have to steal several hundred copies from JB Hi-Fi myself!
Melissa Tkautz isn't the only pop icon embarking on an impressive comeback. Michael Jackson's 25th Anniversary edition of "Thriller" was released in Australia yesterday. I've expressed my reservations about "Thriller 25" in the past but the final product is surprisingly good. Expect a full review soon. The album's first single, "Wanna Be Startin' Somethin' 2008", climbs to #8 on the singles chart - giving Michael his first top ten hit in Australia since "You Rock My World" debuted at #4 in 2001. In another interesting development, the original "Thriller" re-enters the album chart this week at #44. Could we be on the brink of another breakout of Jackson mania? La Toya needs to gets her shit together ASAP!
Speaking of fabulous plastic surgery addicts, Fergie has another smash hit on her hands as the 6th single from "The Dutchess" storms into the Australian top 30. I can't get enough of "Here I Come". It's another so horrible it's genius effort that somehow manages to work a reference to Fergie's humps into a butchered Motown classic. As far as I'm concerned this amazing diva can do no wrong! I just wish they would hurry up and release the physical single. Other American divas releasing new material in Australia include Mandy Moore and Jordin Sparks. Mandy Moore's lovely 2007 album "Wild Hope" has been picked up by a local distributor to coincide with her upcoming tour with Kelly Clarkson. "Wild Hope" is released on the 25th of February and can be pre-ordered here. Speaking of Kelly, it's bad enough that heffer releases her rubbish in Australia but what have we done to deserve her dreary American Idol alumni Jordin Sparks? "Tattoo" is the worst single I've heard from the entire AI franchise - and that includes William Hung's offerings! Sadomasochists can buy Jordin's snoozefest from the 10th of March.
From American Idol to Australian Idol, The Sunday Telegraph reports that Carl Riseley (above) has been signed to Universal Australia. Carl is basically a Michael Buble tribute act but still managed to place 3rd in the most recent season of Australian Idol. His album is said to contain swing covers of "We've Only Just Begun" and "The Letter". I think I'll pass. In more depressing news, the article also reveals that Dulta's fiance, Brian McFadden, has also signed a local deal. I guess Dulta really was the kiss of death for his UK career. Speaking of the dull one, "You Will Only Break My Heart" has been announced as the third single from her shiteous album.
A vastly more appealing local diva is Vanessa Amorosi. I really wanted to like her comeback single, "Kiss Your Mama", but I just couldn't get into it. The second single "Perfect", however, looks rather more like my cup of tea if Vanessa's new look (above) is any indication! Someone who knows all about (slightly more flattering) makeovers is Kylie. Rob expertly recaps the latest Minogue developments on Don't Stop The Pop. I agree with everything except the criticism of Kylie's venture into the world of bed linen. Am I the only one who doesn't give a fuck what she does outside of music? Kylie can flog Vagasil and dental dams for all I care! If she's having fun and making money, good luck to her. However, I totally share Rob's excitement for "All I See" being considered for release in Canada. It's still my favourite track from "X". Meanwhile, the current Australian single will be released on Saturday. Pre-order your copy of "Wow" here and check out the fabulous film clip. The behind the scenes footage (below) gave me a whole new appreciation for time, effort and fabulousness involved in making the video.
What could be more perfect for a rainy Saturday morning than a craptacular Eurotrash cover of "Umbrella"? From country queens to pop divas, it seems like every cunt with a microphone has had a go at Rihanna's ode to friendship and wet weather. Youtube is positively flooded with covers but none match the craptastic glory of Vanilla Sky's rendition. Under normal circumstances, I can't imagine paying too much attention to this Italian boyband. Their music is pleasant enough - catchy pop punk of the McFly/Good Charlotte variety with a distinct Euro twist - but I prefer my music coming out of the mouth of an ageing has-been diva, preferably accompanied by a trashy dance beat. It takes something extra special to take me out of my comfort zone and Vanilla Sky deliver just that in the form of a jaw droppingly fabulous video clip!
Not content to simply transform Rihanna's urban jam into a heavily accented pop rock anthem, the boys reenact the film clip - dressed as the Barbadian diva! The result is one of the funniest videos I've seen in a very long time. The opening scene is kind of disturbing but I love the drag ballet and the guy straightening his hair with a hot iron. However, I think my favourite part is the dorky guy working it in a wet nightie. Rock videos haven't been this camp since the glory days of Freddie Mercury! Vanilla Sky originally posted "Umbrella" on their Myspace but I believe it's starting to gain airplay across Europe. Rihanna must be pissed!
A little birdie recently told me that Australia's holy queen of trash (ie. Melissa Tkautz) is covering an old Transvision Vamp song for her eagerly awaited comeback album. I haven't been this excited since Mel's appointment as an erectile dysfunction spokeswoman! Ms Tkautz was born to sex up "I Want Your Love" or "Baby, I Don't Care". I really hope the rumours are true! Melissa would definitely be the most fabulous local act to take on Wendy James but not the first. Cherry, perhaps Australia's most neglected girlband, takes that honour - covering "I Want Your Love" way back in 1999.
Girlbands flourished in the late 90s, largely due to the success of the Spice Girls. It was only a matter of time before Australia jumped on the bandwagon and Cherry duly appeared in 1998. The parallels between Cherry and the Spice Girls were all two obvious - both groups had five members (including a token black diva) and both featured a rotund redhead called Geri in the line-up! Unlike the Spice Girls, however, Cherry didn't experience much chart success despite releasing three excellent singles - the second of which being an endearingly faithful cover of Transvision Vamp's "I Want Your Love".
Cherry could never be accused of being particularly original but they were entertaining and brightened up the local pop scene no end in their short career. I have no idea what happened to the girls but Camielle appears to have released a floptastic R'n'B single after the group disbanded. I'd love to hear it. If you like Cherry's version of "I Want Your Love", learn more about the lovely ladies on their fabulous Myspace fansite.
Tina Arena is as prolific as she is talented, releasing two albums in as many months. Despite only hitting shelves in December, "Songs Of Love & Loss" proved to be one of Australia's highest selling albums of 2007. Obviously not content with re-establishing herself as a major musical force at home, Tina swiftly returned her focus to the French market - unveiling "7 Vies" on the 28th of January. If the success of the album's first single on French iTunes is any indication, "7 Vies" looks like being every bit as successful in France as "Songs Of Love & Loss" was in Australia. What an astonishing period in an already brilliant career!
I have to come clean and admit that I wasn't hugely impressed by Tina's first French album. I always had the sneaking suspicion that she was positioning herself as the Antipodean Celine Dion - all big ballads and flowing gowns. My copy of "7 Vies" hasn't arrived yet but it already strikes me as being a massive step in the right direction. I love all the clips I've heard online and the album's first single, "Entends-Tu Le Monde?" takes up where Tina's best French single (the exquisite "Je m'appelle Baghdad") left off - by exploring a fresh and original world music sound. Like "Je m'appelle Bagdad", "Entends-Tu Le Monde?" is a beautifully produced song with an intricately woven Eastern influence. The video clip doesn't quite match the visual feast of the former anthem but "Entends-Tu Le Monde?" is still charmingly atmospheric (check it out below).
To my knowledge, there are no plans to release "7 Vies" in Australia. However, you can order the album from CD WOW for under $20(AUD). Just click on the Australian flag and search for Tina. Clips of all songs can be heard on French Amazon. I'm particularly looking forward to hearing "Ta Vie" in full. If I'm not mistaken it's a French interpretation of "Until" from "Songs Of Love & Loss". I can't wait to see what Tina does next!
It's a shame "Silk Electric" is better known for the stunning Andy Warhol designed cover than the music it contains. Diana Ross has released better albums but this 1982 opus remains one of her most endearing. The early 80s were an interesting time for Di. The decade started on a high with her multi-platinum "Diana" album but a new record label and changing musical tastes found her struggling for relevance. Diana's first album for RCA, the fabulous "Why Do Fools Fall In Love?", delivered several big hits but was generally considered to be overly safe. Convention, however, was well and truly thrown out of the window for her second offering.
"Silk Electric" contains some filler ("Still In Love", "Love Lies" and the ridiculous "Turn Me Over" - basically a reminder to turn the record over!) but also offers some of Diana's most creative and experimental 80s output. Miss Ross returns to her roots with the glorious Motown pastiche "So Close", experiments with metal (!) on the insanely fabulous "Fool For Your Love", dishes up one of her loveliest ballads in the form of "In Your Arms" and plays around with reggae on "I Am Me". That's not even mentioning the album's most notorious cut - the Michael Jackson penned top 10 hit "Muscles".
A sleek and sleazy jam built around a throbbing bassline, "Muscles" is a camp masterpiece. Diana coos her way through the dubious lyrics with great panache, sexing it up for all she's worth. Listening to the track again tonight, I can't help but think it's ripe for an update. Sexual longing never goes out of style and the production holds up remarkably well. Imagine Dannii singing "muscle man I want to love you, in the sun oil on your body"! Now that's another #37 smash hit if ever I heard one! As much as I love "Muscles", it would be nothing without the AMAZING film clip. Some of the highlights include Di rolling around her bed, Di rolling around her bed with semi-naked body builders, Di taking off and flying (yes, flying) over a waterfall. If you haven't seen the video, check it out! In my opinion it's one of the best clips of the entire 1980s.
"Silk Electric" used to be almost impossible to find on CD. However, it was re-issued in Japan a couple of years ago and now comes up fairly regularly on Ebay. The album can also be ordered from Amazon. Sadly, "Silk Electric" is still not available on Australian iTunes.
You're looking at the cover of "All I See", to be released digitally on the 11th of March as the first American single from "X". Overlooking the lazy artwork (that picture has already been used twice!), it's a relief to finally have some concrete details. "All I See" is my favourite cut from "X" and surely the best choice to spearhead an American campaign. However, I'm appalled by the decision to pollute the song with a completely unnecessary rap interlude courtesy of Mims. I guess Baby Bash was busy.
